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Polyamorous Relationships
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Well I think so. I'm not too sure. I have two people I'd describe as a partner so yeah I think so. | |||
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"I want one but it’s hard to find "Try OK cupid. It's full of poly people. | |||
"Finished my last one June 19. They are getting married and trying to have a child. I'd be interested to hear from poly couples who have worked through that situation. We couldn't make it work. Now seeing a fb with no poly experience, both of us see others. I think we are exploring a hareem idea, rather than an established poly relationship." I don't want to get married or have kids so it's not really an issue for me. However I do know other poly folk who are married and/or have kids so it's not neccessarily a barrier. | |||
" I don't want to get married or have kids so it's not really an issue for me. However I do know other poly folk who are married and/or have kids so it's not neccessarily a barrier." Fair point but that is your current position, not dissimilar to how my poly relationship started. Things change over time, would you consider poly if you wanted a child? | |||
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" I don't want to get married or have kids so it's not really an issue for me. However I do know other poly folk who are married and/or have kids so it's not neccessarily a barrier. Fair point but that is your current position, not dissimilar to how my poly relationship started. Things change over time, would you consider poly if you wanted a child?" Yes. However I really can't see me changing my mind about kids. | |||
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"Love to be in one! A different hubby for each day of the week, seeing to a different need. After all one person cannot be everything to us. Not sure what current hubby would make of that though ! " All those mother-in-laws though  Lol | |||
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"Love to be in one! A different hubby for each day of the week, seeing to a different need. After all one person cannot be everything to us. Not sure what current hubby would make of that though ! All those mother-in-laws though Lol "Can you imagine!  | |||
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"I'd like one!" currently looking if we are your type. | |||
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"In one, wouldn’t want it any other way x" What a lovely bum mmmmm God I want to spank that ass. | |||
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We would be open to it | |||
"Interesting OP
We would be open to it "Lovely  | |||
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"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this?" Yes, and it was a disaster from start to finish, there was not enough honest communication from the get go. | |||
"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this? Yes, and it was a disaster from start to finish, there was not enough honest communication from the get go." Has it put you off fully from another?? | |||
"Is having a regular fwb the same? "It is the desire to have a intimate relationship with more than one person, with the consent of all partners involved, mine are all fwb, I don't include any one offs or occasional fb because we don't have the intimacy of knowing about each others real lives it's just about seeking pleasure | |||
"we are currently looking for polly partners having been in a short three way relationship . it is very hard work to make it work you need ground rules in place or it just leads to jealousy and recrimination .we have friends who are in a ten strong polly family who all meet each other separately on a regular basis but they do make it work between them .they do all get std and other health checks on a regular basis it takes very strong people to make it work " Does it not also take a lot of time and emotional energy? That's always the bit I can't get my head around. An intimate and meaningful relationship with just one person can be challenging enough when juggling work, friends, life and possibly kids | |||
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"Is having a regular fwb the same?
It is the desire to have a intimate relationship with more than one person, with the consent of all partners involved, mine are all fwb, I don't include any one offs or occasional fb because we don't have the intimacy of knowing about each others real lives it's just about seeking pleasure"In that case yes I’m in one then defo works for me and my other half. | |||
"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this? Yes, and it was a disaster from start to finish, there was not enough honest communication from the get go. Has it put you off fully from another?? " No it's just made me more mistrusting of other people and their true intentions. | |||
"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this? Yes, and it was a disaster from start to finish, there was not enough honest communication from the get go." Oh no! That's a shame, I guess just like any other relationship honesty and communication is very important | |||
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"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this? Yes, and it was a disaster from start to finish, there was not enough honest communication from the get go. Has it put you off fully from another?? No it's just made me more mistrusting of other people and their true intentions. " Is good that it’s not put you off fully. But I think it’s a natural reaction to mistrust when something goes wrong in relationships | |||
"When it works it works. When it goes wrong it goes VERY WRONG. Not speaking from my own experience, but from a good friend. Alot of people say they are 'poly' and actually mean having unprotected sex with LOTS of people and calling it ' Poly Family' Blurgh! " I'm poly and I'm not having unprotected sex with anyone. | |||
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"It's not for everyone. For me, there needs to be a very conscious aspect..people who can demonstrate good communication and are settled in themselves enough to make it as a lifestyle choice .. not just to be able to have sex with lots of people. Kindness, respect, honesty, transparency and privacy all need to be in the mix. It can take some navigating .. but there are beautiful rewards and those connections can be deep and loving as well as playful. Each connection is unique and you can shape it together how we want. The heart has a huge capacity for love. We don't limit how many we love in otner relationships with friends and family so why limit in intimate relationships. " Good point, well said | |||
"It's not for everyone. For me, there needs to be a very conscious aspect..people who can demonstrate good communication and are settled in themselves enough to make it as a lifestyle choice .. not just to be able to have sex with lots of people. Kindness, respect, honesty, transparency and privacy all need to be in the mix. It can take some navigating .. but there are beautiful rewards and those connections can be deep and loving as well as playful. Each connection is unique and you can shape it together how we want. The heart has a huge capacity for love. We don't limit how many we love in otner relationships with friends and family so why limit in intimate relationships. " This is so beautiful Freya and perfectly describes how I feel. x | |||
"It's not for everyone. For me, there needs to be a very conscious aspect..people who can demonstrate good communication and are settled in themselves enough to make it as a lifestyle choice .. not just to be able to have sex with lots of people. Kindness, respect, honesty, transparency and privacy all need to be in the mix. It can take some navigating .. but there are beautiful rewards and those connections can be deep and loving as well as playful. Each connection is unique and you can shape it together how we want. The heart has a huge capacity for love. We don't limit how many we love in otner relationships with friends and family so why limit in intimate relationships. " Thank you for sharing  this is put so well | |||
"I want one but it’s hard to find
Try OK cupid. It's full of poly people."Also Openminded. Apparently good. | |||
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"Really good Louis Theroux documentary about this if you've got access to iplayer. I have been in a couple but they very rarely work unless both parties are 100% committed and think the same way. Which if you think about it is never the case in any relationship. I found that I was always ok with us being open but the other parties involved would end up giving me an ultimatum. Jealousy always seemed to creep in and the more passive the person, the longer it takes them to voice that they are not happy which kinda made me feel bad. I know there's a lot of people who will disagree with me on this but just my experience. I don't think there's ever an ideal relationship, everything is subjective so it's better to test the waters of each pool and find a scenario that make both/all parties happy" If it's the Louis Theroux documentary that I saw I personally hated it and was very dissapointed as I usually like his shows. Most documentaries I've seen always seem to concentrate on the most out there examples. I can get it as they're trying to make good TV but it's frustrating as it leads to a lot of misinformation. I did see a BBC Scotland documentary once that wasn't too bad. | |||
"Not sure if it poly or not but mrs has a long term lover who has also become a good friend to us both. To the extent that we often socialize without anything intimate happening. " It's all about the relationship you all have, there are many different versions and if it works for you then brill I am a gf to a married man and his wife has a bf, we all meet as a 4 and just socialise together, it's the friendship that is important, the sex is just a bonus | |||
"Not sure if it poly or not but mrs has a long term lover who has also become a good friend to us both. To the extent that we often socialize without anything intimate happening. It's all about the relationship you all have, there are many different versions and if it works for you then brill I am a gf to a married man and his wife has a bf, we all meet as a 4 and just socialise together, it's the friendship that is important, the sex is just a bonus "It works well for us as he is divorced with adult children and travels alot so just enjoys the company when he is in town. | |||
"Really good Louis Theroux documentary about this if you've got access to iplayer. I have been in a couple but they very rarely work unless both parties are 100% committed and think the same way. Which if you think about it is never the case in any relationship. I found that I was always ok with us being open but the other parties involved would end up giving me an ultimatum. Jealousy always seemed to creep in and the more passive the person, the longer it takes them to voice that they are not happy which kinda made me feel bad. I know there's a lot of people who will disagree with me on this but just my experience. I don't think there's ever an ideal relationship, everything is subjective so it's better to test the waters of each pool and find a scenario that make both/all parties happy If it's the Louis Theroux documentary that I saw I personally hated it and was very dissapointed as I usually like his shows. Most documentaries I've seen always seem to concentrate on the most out there examples. I can get it as they're trying to make good TV but it's frustrating as it leads to a lot of misinformation. I did see a BBC Scotland documentary once that wasn't too bad." I need to watch that | |||
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"Not me, not interested at all! Prefer regular sexual partners instead "It's much easier to find regular sexual partners, although sometimes that's not always reliable | |||
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"Thanks for everyone's views on this, it's something I've thought of but am unsure about. To some people it seems to be about being in a community of like-minded people, yet I have also met some who keep their relationships with their partners completely separate (but not secret). I guess it's like swinging in a way, it means different things to different people. If what you're after is a few people that you have both an emotional and physical relationship with, where you can trust each other to explore the boundaries of your sexuality and pleasure (MFF, MMF, MMFF), is that an ethical poly relationship, or regular swinging partners? (maybe a question for a new thread)" It's a good question .. It's just doing it how you are doing it. To me, polyamory suggests on going relating, whatever the depth of feeling involved. Although the name does suggest that love is involved. Perhaps ethical non monogomy is more what you are suggesting. Consensual non monogomy where all parties are consenting to sharing. The ethical bit is about partners left at home clueless and everyone open about the arrangement. There's no need to label situations.. but I find it useful to define something so that there is clarity and discussion as things shift and evolve, which they do. | |||
"It's not for everyone. For me, there needs to be a very conscious aspect..people who can demonstrate good communication and are settled in themselves enough to make it as a lifestyle choice .. not just to be able to have sex with lots of people. Kindness, respect, honesty, transparency and privacy all need to be in the mix. It can take some navigating .. but there are beautiful rewards and those connections can be deep and loving as well as playful. Each connection is unique and you can shape it together how we want. The heart has a huge capacity for love. We don't limit how many we love in otner relationships with friends and family so why limit in intimate relationships. " That sounds perfect. Gorgeous profile Freya x | |||
"When it works it works. When it goes wrong it goes VERY WRONG. Not speaking from my own experience, but from a good friend. Alot of people say they are 'poly' and actually mean having unprotected sex with LOTS of people and calling it ' Poly Family' Blurgh! I'm poly and I'm not having unprotected sex with anyone." You are doing it right then. | |||
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"I'd like to be in one.. "I would with me, you and a third of your choice x | |||
"I'd like to be in one..
I would with me, you and a third of your choice x"Now there's an offer.xxx | |||
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"I'd like to be in one..
I would with me, you and a third of your choice x
Now there's an offer.xxx"Il leave it to you to sort then
Xx | |||
"I'd like to be in one..
I would with me, you and a third of your choice x
Now there's an offer.xxx"Could be a lot of fun xx | |||
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"Not yet but would like to" A lady that will consider her cosant for you to enjoy everything and let you enjoy another lady too, how many are we lucky enough to meet like that , Without losing one or both goodwomen | |||
"Not yet but would like toA lady that will consider her cosant for you to enjoy everything and let you enjoy another lady too, how many are we lucky enough to meet like that , Without losing one or both goodwomen "? I don't don't follow. Did you mean to quote me there? | |||
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"In one "Those feet were made for sharing | |||
"In one
Those feet were made for sharing "Is this to me? If so thank you | |||
"In one
Those feet were made for sharing
Is this to me? If so thank you "Yes it was, wow I’d love to be sucking those toes | |||
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"I had one years ago with 2 bi men, it was bliss! I've been seeking this again and finding that real polyandry is rare" Bi guy here, but not close enough for a regular relationship  , but if you ever want an ad hoc bi guy | |||
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"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this?" Would love to be in one Shropshire area | |||
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"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this?" My best friend and her husband have a third. Im not, and i dont think its for me and my partner. Fucking is fine. But feelings is completely different. If i heard him tell someone else he loved them ect i think id loose my mind... | |||
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"I'm poly. Married to a mono husband (who's on the asexual end of the sexual spectrum). " Huh?? | |||
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"Yeah I was in one... Had to knock it on the head, was too much having 2 people telling me to put my socks in the washing every day." | |||
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"I want one but it’s hard to find
Try OK cupid. It's full of poly people."Was on there a few years ago, never realised this  | |||
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"This intrigues me, but I couldn't ever be in a polyamorous relationship - I can share someone I love physically, but not emotionally. " This | |||
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"I want one but it’s hard to find
Try OK cupid. It's full of poly people.
Was on there a few years ago, never realised this "They have search filters for monogamous and non-monogamous and even have the options for putting if you're already in a relationship or married which is great. | |||
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"It’s amazing... no room for jealousy "Nah. Poly people still feel jealousy, those in poly relationships don't always act in this virtuous, kind way. I think there's this false idea at times that poly relationships are this happy hippy commune of love. No, they still take time and love and care. People can still cheat, still upset those they are dating, still feel jealous or less than important. | |||
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"It’s amazing... no room for jealousy
Nah. Poly people still feel jealousy, those in poly relationships don't always act in this virtuous, kind way. I think there's this false idea at times that poly relationships are this happy hippy commune of love. No, they still take time and love and care. People can still cheat, still upset those they are dating, still feel jealous or less than important.
"Absolutely though unfortunately when others witness toxic polyamorous relationships they often see that as a sign that polyamory can't work which I've never really seen anyone do over the existance of toxic monogamous relationships. Polyamory is vulnerable to all the same pitfalls though as much as I get occasional pangs of jealousy, it is something I've had to learn to work through and know when it needs to be discussed with a partner and when its just me and I can sit with it. I think if I felt excessive jealousy I'd be miserable in polyamory. | |||
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" Absolutely though unfortunately when others witness toxic polyamorous relationships they often see that as a sign that polyamory can't work which I've never really seen anyone do over the existance of toxic monogamous relationships. Polyamory is vulnerable to all the same pitfalls though as much as I get occasional pangs of jealousy, it is something I've had to learn to work through and know when it needs to be discussed with a partner and when its just me and I can sit with it. I think if I felt excessive jealousy I'd be miserable in polyamory. " This is so very true Lacey, I could read your writing on the subject all day. I'm much like you, if I experienced excessive jealousy I wouldn't be happy in a poly set up. As it is, wobbles are a chance for me to self reflect and I know my loved ones are there to listen and support if they are the sort that require open communication and not just my time of my month Ms Hyde moments. | |||
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"I want one but it’s hard to find
Try OK cupid. It's full of poly people.
Was on there a few years ago, never realised this
They have search filters for monogamous and non-monogamous and even have the options for putting if you're already in a relationship or married which is great. "What about fab and tinder? | |||
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"So whats the difference between a polyamorous relationship and an open relationship? " There are many poly relationship versions that people adopt to suit their lifestyle, it's not one way fits all. I am poly because it is natural for me to love more than one person at the same time and that is how I maintain multiple relationships, not one is better than the other they all have equal room in my heart. Multiple boyfriends for example. | |||
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"So whats the difference between a polyamorous relationship and an open relationship? " Open relationships are generally (as far as I have experienced) monoromantic but sexually none monogamous. Being poly (polyamory being more than one love) for me is about having more than one emotionally connected relationship (not all of which are sexual) | |||
"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this?" No thank you. Two mother in laws will be too much to handle! | |||
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"I do think theres a difference between ethical non monogomy and polyamory. I'd say it's the latter if feelings run as deep as love x" Ethical non-monogamy is more of an umbrella term. It includes polyamory, swinging, open relationships, etc . | |||
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"Not me, not interested at all! Prefer regular sexual partners instead "Above quote is mine a year ago never say never eek  | |||
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"love to chat with anyone in poly relationship--love the idea but assume you need to have trust and both want and need to embody this" Oh yeah of course, polyamoury involves a huge amount of trust. Which in turn means a lot of continual, open communication about boundaries, feelings etc... And shared calendars, a lot of shared calendars | |||
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"love to chat with anyone in poly relationship--love the idea but assume you need to have trust and both want and need to embody this" Both of who? It needs to be the case for everyone involved. | |||
"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this?" Have been and would again | |||
"love to chat with anyone in poly relationship--love the idea but assume you need to have trust and both want and need to embody this Both of who? It needs to be the case for everyone involved. " Him and his wife, who is not on his profile and is unaware of him being on fab, or having a fwb. So to clarify... Polyamoury is never cheating.. Poly people who break defined boundaries and lie about relationships are cheaters too. Polyamoury is about clear and transparent communication amongst all parties. Having clearly defined boundaries of what is and isn't acceptable between all parties concerned. | |||
"love to chat with anyone in poly relationship--love the idea but assume you need to have trust and both want and need to embody this Both of who? It needs to be the case for everyone involved. Him and his wife, who is not on his profile and is unaware of him being on fab, or having a fwb. So to clarify... Polyamoury is never cheating.. Poly people who break defined boundaries and lie about relationships are cheaters too. Polyamoury is about clear and transparent communication amongst all parties. Having clearly defined boundaries of what is and isn't acceptable between all parties concerned. " I meant more that people in existing monogamous relationships often come into polyamory and its all "we, us, pair, two, both" as if they're a complete entity of their own and that's normally pretty incompatible with polyamory. I get it's probably a force of habit but I guess I'm touchy as like many I've been burnt by couples privilege in the past. | |||
"I meant more that people in existing monogamous relationships often come into polyamory and its all "we, us, pair, two, both" as if they're a complete entity of their own and that's normally pretty incompatible with polyamory. I get it's probably a force of habit but I guess I'm touchy as like many I've been burnt by couples privilege in the past. " Ah yeah couples looking as a singular unit for a 3rd is mostly completely unrealistic and totally unfair on the 3rd. The only time I've known a triad work well is where each person maintains 2 relationships and the relationship between the existing couple is managed as part of that, but it's very hard work to ensure that the 'primary' don't have that privilege (although hiarachical situations such as D/s can make this easier - or worse!) | |||
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"I meant more that people in existing monogamous relationships often come into polyamory and its all "we, us, pair, two, both" as if they're a complete entity of their own and that's normally pretty incompatible with polyamory. I get it's probably a force of habit but I guess I'm touchy as like many I've been burnt by couples privilege in the past. Ah yeah couples looking as a singular unit for a 3rd is mostly completely unrealistic and totally unfair on the 3rd. The only time I've known a triad work well is where each person maintains 2 relationships and the relationship between the existing couple is managed as part of that, but it's very hard work to ensure that the 'primary' don't have that privilege (although hiarachical situations such as D/s can make this easier - or worse!)" Even aside from that, where is there "both" when there's 3 people? | |||
"Has anyone been in or in a relationship like this?" Yes, loved it, but it was very difficult emotionally when it came to an end. Took me a while to get over it. | |||
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