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What is your definition
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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago
Leeds |
Of what a proper gentleman is?
We all have our own opinions on this but I’m curious to hear what your thoughts are?
What traits/attitudes/attributes does a proper gentleman need to have, in your opinion?
I think it’s more than just opening a door for someone.
Bhubaysi xx |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
They don’t leer, try to cop a feel or try to turn a perfectly innocent conversation around to sex at any given opportunity.
They are predominantly kind, thoughtful and interesting and a tad dastardly only when the occasion calls for it. |
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Respects people as equal, and treats them as they want to be treated. Not just what they believe "proper manners" are, not just people they find attractive, not just certain demographics.
Class in the 21st century. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They don’t leer, try to cop a feel or try to turn a perfectly innocent conversation around to sex at any given opportunity.
They are predominantly kind, thoughtful and interesting and a tad dastardly only when the occasion calls for it."
I think being a "tad dastardly" no matter what the occasion would mark one out as a bit of a bounder, although definitely not a cad... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Respects people as equal, and treats them as they want to be treated. Not just what they believe "proper manners" are, not just people they find attractive, not just certain demographics.
Class in the 21st century."
All jokes aside, this ^^^ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Respects people as equal, and treats them as they want to be treated. Not just what they believe "proper manners" are, not just people they find attractive, not just certain demographics.
Class in the 21st century."
Surely that’s a good person? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a gentlemen?
I use to think I knew what this was but women can get so petty and see it as insulting when you hold a door open for them.
you get called a sex pest and have me2 nutters outside your home throwing stones just for being polite.
its best not to be a gentlemen and let her pick up the heavy box.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"a gentlemen?
I use to think I knew what this was but women can get so petty and see it as insulting when you hold a door open for them.
you get called a sex pest and have me2 nutters outside your home throwing stones just for being polite.
its best not to be a gentlemen and let her pick up the heavy box.
"
Do they though? |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"They don’t leer, try to cop a feel or try to turn a perfectly innocent conversation around to sex at any given opportunity.
They are predominantly kind, thoughtful and interesting and a tad dastardly only when the occasion calls for it.
I think being a "tad dastardly" no matter what the occasion would mark one out as a bit of a bounder, although definitely not a cad..."
Indeed. I like a man to be dastardly in the bedroom only. Otherwise it’s just not cricket  |
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"a gentlemen?
I use to think I knew what this was but women can get so petty and see it as insulting when you hold a door open for them.
you get called a sex pest and have me2 nutters outside your home throwing stones just for being polite.
its best not to be a gentlemen and let her pick up the heavy box.
Do they though?"
No, they don't. This gent seems to have a few issues that have become obvious through his recent postings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"They don’t leer, try to cop a feel or try to turn a perfectly innocent conversation around to sex at any given opportunity.
They are predominantly kind, thoughtful and interesting and a tad dastardly only when the occasion calls for it.
I think being a "tad dastardly" no matter what the occasion would mark one out as a bit of a bounder, although definitely not a cad...
Indeed. I like a man to be dastardly in the bedroom only. Otherwise it’s just not cricket "
So you go for bounders then my dear?   |
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"Respects people as equal, and treats them as they want to be treated. Not just what they believe "proper manners" are, not just people they find attractive, not just certain demographics.
Class in the 21st century.
Surely that’s a good person?"
I don't see a difference between gentleman and good person that has any meaning I attach value to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"a gentlemen?
I use to think I knew what this was but women can get so petty and see it as insulting when you hold a door open for them.
you get called a sex pest and have me2 nutters outside your home throwing stones just for being polite.
its best not to be a gentlemen and let her pick up the heavy box.
Do they though?
No, they don't. This gent seems to have a few issues that have become obvious through his recent postings. "
Green arrow time is it?... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"a gentlemen?
I use to think I knew what this was but women can get so petty and see it as insulting when you hold a door open for them.
you get called a sex pest and have me2 nutters outside your home throwing stones just for being polite.
its best not to be a gentlemen and let her pick up the heavy box.
Do they though?
No, they don't. This gent seems to have a few issues that have become obvious through his recent postings.
Green arrow time is it?..."
Equality and all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Respects people as equal, and treats them as they want to be treated. Not just what they believe "proper manners" are, not just people they find attractive, not just certain demographics.
Class in the 21st century.
Surely that’s a good person?
I don't see a difference between gentleman and good person that has any meaning I attach value to."
Exactly this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It's his whole persona, from the way he speaks to you to his behaviours and reacts to situations and others.
But then he does need to be a bit of a devil when the need arises.
|
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A gentleman to me, is someone who was raised with manners, morals and principles. It’s not just about opening doors, how much they earn, their career choice or what label clothes they wear...
A true gentleman has respect for his peers, the women in his life and ensures his values are genuinely accepted as a gesture of his upbringing
|
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"a gentlemen?
I use to think I knew what this was but women can get so petty and see it as insulting when you hold a door open for them.
you get called a sex pest and have me2 nutters outside your home throwing stones just for being polite.
its best not to be a gentlemen and let her pick up the heavy box.
Do they though?"
Sometimes yeah. If a guy pulled out my chair for me when out for dinner, I'd be thinking wtf ya doing man! |
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If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners "
Why would it annoy you though? It would annoy me if he didn’t open the door for me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners "
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha "
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha "
Same, I'll hold a door open for anyone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days!"
Lies, nobody feels sorry for us  |
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"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
Why would it annoy you though? It would annoy me if he didn’t open the door for me! "
Because it's an old fashioned gendered expression.
99% of the time someone holds a door for me they'd have no damn idea I dislike it. I smile and say thank you. End. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days!
Lies, nobody feels sorry for us "
 . I do in that respect. It vexes me that men are too scared to be gentleman anymore  |
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"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
Same, I'll hold a door open for anyone"
Yeah that's different. I hold doors for people. But I do it based on need. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
Why would it annoy you though? It would annoy me if he didn’t open the door for me!
Because it's an old fashioned gendered expression.
99% of the time someone holds a door for me they'd have no damn idea I dislike it. I smile and say thank you. End."
Fair enough. I quite like old fashioned sometimes  |
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"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
Why would it annoy you though? It would annoy me if he didn’t open the door for me!
Because it's an old fashioned gendered expression.
99% of the time someone holds a door for me they'd have no damn idea I dislike it. I smile and say thank you. End.
Fair enough. I quite like old fashioned sometimes "
Very much to each their own. I accept most of the gestures, it's just the wider context bothers me.
I've even given up on stopping fwb holding doors for me |
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Its polite to open a door and hold it
Doesnt matter the gender behind.
Also do it for older folk who arent capable of doing it themselves or see struggling.
Likewise in shops when people cant reach something I'll offer help not just do it for them as people don't like their space invaded but appreciate the offer of help. |
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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago
near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in |
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days!
Lies, nobody feels sorry for us
. I do in that respect. It vexes me that men are too scared to be gentleman anymore "
I stay true and will always be the person I was brought up as, in my opinion a gentleman   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
Why would it annoy you though? It would annoy me if he didn’t open the door for me!
Because it's an old fashioned gendered expression.
99% of the time someone holds a door for me they'd have no damn idea I dislike it. I smile and say thank you. End.
Fair enough. I quite like old fashioned sometimes
Very much to each their own. I accept most of the gestures, it's just the wider context bothers me.
I've even given up on stopping fwb holding doors for me "
To be fair we’ve had this convo many a time and we’ll never agree . Shouldn’t have commented really. Sorry x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days!
Lies, nobody feels sorry for us
. I do in that respect. It vexes me that men are too scared to be gentleman anymore
I stay true and will always be the person I was brought up as, in my opinion a gentleman "
Good. You do that. If I had boys they would be brought up to be gentleman. I have girls and they have been brought up to be strong and independent. |
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"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
Why would it annoy you though? It would annoy me if he didn’t open the door for me! "
So would I, and so would he! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
Why would it annoy you though? It would annoy me if he didn’t open the door for me!
So would I, and so would he!"
It would annoy you if he didn’t or did? x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days!
Lies, nobody feels sorry for us
. I do in that respect. It vexes me that men are too scared to be gentleman anymore "
Unfortunately there are many traits from the "good ol'days" that have disappeared for both men and women, I blame technology and instant information at our fingertips, we live in such a fast paced world these days that we forget about the little things that make a big difference to someones day. |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days!
Lies, nobody feels sorry for us
. I do in that respect. It vexes me that men are too scared to be gentleman anymore
I stay true and will always be the person I was brought up as, in my opinion a gentleman "
She offers her honour and he honours her offer and all night long he hornor and off her boom boom ?? |
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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
Same, I'll hold a door open for anyone"
I kind of feel special when a gentleman holds open a door for me, waits and says ‘after you’. I don’t even mind if he’s checking out my large bum (if he is nice).... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days!
Lies, nobody feels sorry for us
. I do in that respect. It vexes me that men are too scared to be gentleman anymore
Unfortunately there are many traits from the "good ol'days" that have disappeared for both men and women, I blame technology and instant information at our fingertips, we live in such a fast paced world these days that we forget about the little things that make a big difference to someones day."
Yes but people want them to disappear. Give me an old fashioned gentleman before one of these modern men types any day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
Same, I'll hold a door open for anyone
I kind of feel special when a gentleman holds open a door for me, waits and says ‘after you’. I don’t even mind if he’s checking out my large bum (if he is nice).... "
.
What if he gives it a good ole slap as you walk through the door though? |
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"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
Why would it annoy you though? It would annoy me if he didn’t open the door for me!
So would I, and so would he!
It would annoy you if he didn’t or did? x "
I would expect him to open the door and he would expect me to wait until he did........ |
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"a gentlemen?
I use to think I knew what this was but women can get so petty and see it as insulting when you hold a door open for them.
you get called a sex pest and have me2 nutters outside your home throwing stones just for being polite.
its best not to be a gentlemen and let her pick up the heavy box.
Do they though?
No, they don't. This gent seems to have a few issues that have become obvious through his recent postings. "
I think Patrick has a point actually, as other ladies have said it’s not easy being a bloke these days, they can’t do wrong from right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
Why would it annoy you though? It would annoy me if he didn’t open the door for me!
So would I, and so would he!
It would annoy you if he didn’t or did? x
I would expect him to open the door and he would expect me to wait until he did........ "
Why did I even have to ask you that?!! Haha. |
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By *uicy jonesMan
over a year ago
near a big hill in s/ shropshire NOT in |
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days!
Lies, nobody feels sorry for us
. I do in that respect. It vexes me that men are too scared to be gentleman anymore
I stay true and will always be the person I was brought up as, in my opinion a gentleman
Good. You do that. If I had boys they would be brought up to be gentleman. I have girls and they have been brought up to be strong and independent "
I will  good for you , we need the old values to be kept xx |
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"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
Same, I'll hold a door open for anyone
I kind of feel special when a gentleman holds open a door for me, waits and says ‘after you’. I don’t even mind if he’s checking out my large bum (if he is nice).... .
What if he gives it a good ole slap as you walk through the door though? "
Depends who it is! Some I’d make sure I gave them a wide berth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If a man opens a door for me I'll accept it even if it annoys me, because I have manners.
If a man makes a big deal out of treating me differently because I'm female, I'll politely refuse, because I can do it myself, but I have manners
What’s the deal with the doors ? I mean my gran, god rest her soul. She just always told me to hold the door open for anyone comming and if I open a door then close it behind me because ‘I wasn’t born in a barn’ haha
God knows. I’m so glad I’m not a man. Can’t do right for doing wrong! I actually feel
Sorry for men these days!
Lies, nobody feels sorry for us
. I do in that respect. It vexes me that men are too scared to be gentleman anymore
Unfortunately there are many traits from the "good ol'days" that have disappeared for both men and women, I blame technology and instant information at our fingertips, we live in such a fast paced world these days that we forget about the little things that make a big difference to someones day.
Yes but people want them to disappear. Give me an old fashioned gentleman before one of these modern men types any day. "
I'm not convinced they want them to disappear, I think a lot of it is that upbringings (is that even a word?) Have changed over the years, and we now live in a disposal society which sadly includes other peoples feelings. |
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Holding a door open for someone is just manners not gentlemanly like.
If a lady doesn’t like my manners then it’s their bad. I don’t care whether they think they can do it for themselves or not I was brought up with manners. I don’t subscribe to any of that feminist nonsense.
A gentleman has astute awareness of others whether they’re male or female. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Holding a door open for someone is just manners not gentlemanly like.
If a lady doesn’t like my manners then it’s their bad. I don’t care whether they think they can do it for themselves or not I was brought up with manners. I don’t subscribe to any of that feminist nonsense.
A gentleman has astute awareness of others whether they’re male or female."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Generally being able to read a social situation, and be useful in resolving any kind of impasse, so that it does not escalate out of hand. Setting an example by ones behaviour. |
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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"Someone who wants to get to know the person behind the pussy and treat them with respect and not just use them for one thing. Well that’s one part of being a gentleman for me anyhow ..."
This is so right.....
It’s what a lot of guys get wrong! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone who wants to get to know the person behind the pussy and treat them with respect and not just use them for one thing. Well that’s one part of being a gentleman for me anyhow ...
This is so right.....
It’s what a lot of guys get wrong! "
Sorry, must try harder |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who waits to start their meal until you pick up your knife& fork
Pull out your chair once reached table for a meal
Hold your coat open once ready to leave
Respect ones feelings
Open car door for you
Makes one feeling safe & secure in any situation
Strong wing man
Always listens & never moans no matter how trivial the matter
Always compliments
That’s just a few , I’m such a lucky lady if I say so myself
|
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"Someone who wants to get to know the person behind the pussy and treat them with respect and not just use them for one thing. Well that’s one part of being a gentleman for me anyhow ...
This is so right.....
It’s what a lot of guys get wrong!
Sorry, must try harder "
This made me laugh .....  someone with a sense of humour too! It’s sexy! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Someone who wants to get to know the person behind the pussy and treat them with respect and not just use them for one thing. Well that’s one part of being a gentleman for me anyhow ...
This is so right.....
It’s what a lot of guys get wrong!
Sorry, must try harder
This made me laugh ..... someone with a sense of humour too! It’s sexy!"
Oh yeah I'm a laugh a minute |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of what a proper gentleman is?
We all have our own opinions on this but I’m curious to hear what your thoughts are?
What traits/attitudes/attributes does a proper gentleman need to have, in your opinion?
I think it’s more than just opening a door for someone.
Bhubaysi xx "
he listens, he observes and he acts, he is polite and thoughtful and considerate, he dresses and smells devine and his shoes do shine he doesnt spin you a line  |
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"Who waits to start their meal until you pick up your knife& fork
Pull out your chair once reached table for a meal
Hold your coat open once ready to leave
Respect ones feelings
Open car door for you
Makes one feeling safe & secure in any situation
Strong wing man
Always listens & never moans no matter how trivial the matter
Always compliments
That’s just a few , I’m such a lucky lady if I say so myself
"
I don’t know if it’s just me but I couldn’t be arsed with a guy like that.... aye fair enough being treat like a princess in certain ways but all the above is cringey to me... if my hubby started doing all that I’d seriously question what he’d been up to and why he was trying to make up for it |
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There is no such thing as a true gentleman. It is simply an ideal to look up to and to aspire to. So the attributes vary by person, culture, time and place..... It's about looking inwards and saying who do I want to be, and how can I be better man?
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"Who waits to start their meal until you pick up your knife& fork
Pull out your chair once reached table for a meal
Hold your coat open once ready to leave
Respect ones feelings
Open car door for you
Makes one feeling safe & secure in any situation
Strong wing man
Always listens & never moans no matter how trivial the matter
Always compliments
That’s just a few , I’m such a lucky lady if I say so myself
I don’t know if it’s just me but I couldn’t be arsed with a guy like that.... aye fair enough being treat like a princess in certain ways but all the above is cringey to me... if my hubby started doing all that I’d seriously question what he’d been up to and why he was trying to make up for it "
Agreed, but it just goes to show that the definition of a gentleman differs depending on who is doing the defining |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who waits to start their meal until you pick up your knife& fork
Pull out your chair once reached table for a meal
Hold your coat open once ready to leave
Respect ones feelings
Open car door for you
Makes one feeling safe & secure in any situation
Strong wing man
Always listens & never moans no matter how trivial the matter
Always compliments
That’s just a few , I’m such a lucky lady if I say so myself
I don’t know if it’s just me but I couldn’t be arsed with a guy like that.... aye fair enough being treat like a princess in certain ways but all the above is cringey to me... if my hubby started doing all that I’d seriously question what he’d been up to and why he was trying to make up for it
Agreed, but it just goes to show that the definition of a gentleman differs depending on who is doing the defining "
This also highlights how difficult it is for a man these days to be a gentleman, given how different peoples opinions are on the subject, and how different people want/expect to be treated, essentially we cant do right for doing wrong. Ah well such is life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's that self assurance, the way they deal with people from all walks of life equally. Kindness.
Genuinely liking the opposite sex and wanting to know the person they want to be intimate with, not just wham-bam! Taking responsibilty for their choices. Humility, and not taking life too seriously.
Add in charisma and a cracking sense of humour and oooft!
It's hard to sound bite something so complex and highly individual though!! |
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"Who waits to start their meal until you pick up your knife& fork
Pull out your chair once reached table for a meal
Hold your coat open once ready to leave
Respect ones feelings
Open car door for you
Makes one feeling safe & secure in any situation
Strong wing man
Always listens & never moans no matter how trivial the matter
Always compliments
That’s just a few , I’m such a lucky lady if I say so myself
I don’t know if it’s just me but I couldn’t be arsed with a guy like that.... aye fair enough being treat like a princess in certain ways but all the above is cringey to me... if my hubby started doing all that I’d seriously question what he’d been up to and why he was trying to make up for it
Agreed, but it just goes to show that the definition of a gentleman differs depending on who is doing the defining
This also highlights how difficult it is for a man these days to be a gentleman, given how different peoples opinions are on the subject, and how different people want/expect to be treated, essentially we cant do right for doing wrong. Ah well such is life."
I'd say treat the other person as you'd like to be treated and get to know the person so you get a hold on what they want out of the relationship. That might mean being different things to different people, but aren't we all? Professional/work N is different to Mum N, wife N and swinging N..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's that self assurance, the way they deal with people from all walks of life equally. Kindness.
Genuinely liking the opposite sex and wanting to know the person they want to be intimate with, not just wham-bam! Taking responsibilty for their choices. Humility, and not taking life too seriously.
Add in charisma and a cracking sense of humour and oooft!
It's hard to sound bite something so complex and highly individual though!!"
Not sure I'd have the energy left for intimacy after all that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"a gentlemen?
I use to think I knew what this was but women can get so petty and see it as insulting when you hold a door open for them.
you get called a sex pest and have me2 nutters outside your home throwing stones just for being polite.
its best not to be a gentlemen and let her pick up the heavy box.
Do they though?
No, they don't. This gent seems to have a few issues that have become obvious through his recent postings.
I think Patrick has a point actually, as other ladies have said it’s not easy being a bloke these days, they can’t do wrong from right. "
Hi! Man here. Can indeed confirm that it’s still easier being a bloke because,well you know, patriarchy and misogyny. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's that self assurance, the way they deal with people from all walks of life equally. Kindness.
Genuinely liking the opposite sex and wanting to know the person they want to be intimate with, not just wham-bam! Taking responsibilty for their choices. Humility, and not taking life too seriously.
Add in charisma and a cracking sense of humour and oooft!
It's hard to sound bite something so complex and highly individual though!!"
I completely agree I think. Although, and I may have just misinterpreted, this seems a bit heteronormative? Or am I just being a snowflake here? Lmao |
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"It's that self assurance, the way they deal with people from all walks of life equally. Kindness.
Genuinely liking the opposite sex and wanting to know the person they want to be intimate with, not just wham-bam! Taking responsibilty for their choices. Humility, and not taking life too seriously.
Add in charisma and a cracking sense of humour and oooft!
It's hard to sound bite something so complex and highly individual though!!
I completely agree I think. Although, and I may have just misinterpreted, this seems a bit heteronormative? Or am I just being a snowflake here? Lmao "
It's totally heteronormative |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's that self assurance, the way they deal with people from all walks of life equally. Kindness.
Genuinely liking the opposite sex and wanting to know the person they want to be intimate with, not just wham-bam! Taking responsibilty for their choices. Humility, and not taking life too seriously.
Add in charisma and a cracking sense of humour and oooft!
It's hard to sound bite something so complex and highly individual though!!
I completely agree I think. Although, and I may have just misinterpreted, this seems a bit heteronormative? Or am I just being a snowflake here? Lmao "
Probably, I had to google!
Since I am straight I guess that makes sense though? |
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"A gentleman to me, is someone who was raised with manners, morals and principles. It’s not just about opening doors, how much they earn, their career choice or what label clothes they wear...
A true gentleman has respect for his peers, the women in his life and ensures his values are genuinely accepted as a gesture of his upbringing
"
This is my thinking |
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"Who waits to start their meal until you pick up your knife& fork
Pull out your chair once reached table for a meal
Hold your coat open once ready to leave
Respect ones feelings
Open car door for you
Makes one feeling safe & secure in any situation
Strong wing man
Always listens & never moans no matter how trivial the matter
Always compliments
That’s just a few , I’m such a lucky lady if I say so myself
I don’t know if it’s just me but I couldn’t be arsed with a guy like that.... aye fair enough being treat like a princess in certain ways but all the above is cringey to me... if my hubby started doing all that I’d seriously question what he’d been up to and why he was trying to make up for it
Agreed, but it just goes to show that the definition of a gentleman differs depending on who is doing the defining "
Very true I guess it’s all in the personality of the person and what you want from it... to me my hubby is a gentleman by respecting me, treating me fairly etc .... not opening doors for me .... but everyone’s different ... the real question is what makes a lady ... start that forum! Haha ... because I can tell you now I’m far far from a lady ... much more a gent lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's that self assurance, the way they deal with people from all walks of life equally. Kindness.
Genuinely liking the opposite sex and wanting to know the person they want to be intimate with, not just wham-bam! Taking responsibilty for their choices. Humility, and not taking life too seriously.
Add in charisma and a cracking sense of humour and oooft!
It's hard to sound bite something so complex and highly individual though!!
I completely agree I think. Although, and I may have just misinterpreted, this seems a bit heteronormative? Or am I just being a snowflake here? Lmao
Probably, I had to google!
Since I am straight I guess that makes sense though?"
I’m with ya! I was going to say not all gentlemen may like the opposite sex but it doesn’t matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's that self assurance, the way they deal with people from all walks of life equally. Kindness.
Genuinely liking the opposite sex and wanting to know the person they want to be intimate with, not just wham-bam! Taking responsibilty for their choices. Humility, and not taking life too seriously.
Add in charisma and a cracking sense of humour and oooft!
It's hard to sound bite something so complex and highly individual though!!
I completely agree I think. Although, and I may have just misinterpreted, this seems a bit heteronormative? Or am I just being a snowflake here? Lmao
It's totally heteronormative "
Down with the heteronormativity! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hold doors open for people, walk on the outside, and lots of other things mentioned on this thread. I'm sure I'm not alone on that....or hope I'm not.
I've never quite managed to work out why such actions cause some such violent feelings of disapproval, yes I've read all the comments and opinions expressed on here....many times before, along with a lot of what others perceive a gentleman to be. There views are their own, and I have no interest in changing the opinions they may hold. Others views of me are likewise theirs to hold for whatever reasons they choose and however they decide to interpret both my words and more importantly my actions.
Gentleman, not I, just human....
Where is the 
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Doors! Why are guys obsessed with f*cking door etiquette? Nobody cares!
A man is a gentleman when he comports himself with dignity and integrity regardless of the situation. A gentleman speaks to a street-sweeper and a duke with the same courtesy.
Above all, a gentleman is kind. For the literary, Mr Darcy wasn’t always a gentleman. Joe Gargery was. |
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"Doors! Why are guys obsessed with f*cking door etiquette? Nobody cares!
A man is a gentleman when he comports himself with dignity and integrity regardless of the situation. A gentleman speaks to a street-sweeper and a duke with the same courtesy.
Above all, a gentleman is kind. For the literary, Mr Darcy wasn’t always a gentleman. Joe Gargery was."
Hell yes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Doors! Why are guys obsessed with f*cking door etiquette? Nobody cares!
A man is a gentleman when he comports himself with dignity and integrity regardless of the situation. A gentleman speaks to a street-sweeper and a duke with the same courtesy.
Above all, a gentleman is kind. For the literary, Mr Darcy wasn’t always a gentleman. Joe Gargery was."
Pretty much the point I was making. I dont get the fixation with doors either....or the seething latent anger it appears to generate.
I do rather like the literary analogy though. Perhaps you might extend to to make a favourable case for Abel Magwitch....
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A gentleman has first and foremost self respect. This then means that he will respect others no matter who they are, what gender they are. Like offering some one your seat on a bus or train when you are fitter and healthier and in some cases just younger than another person.
Holding the door open to let others through before you. If you are going through a swing door holding it for a person coming behind you.
Letting that person in front of you at the supermarket when they have a couple of items and you have a full trolley.
For me quite simply it was my father and grandfather. How the conducted themselves and how others viewed them and therefore respected them. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Haven't read the whole thread but based on a skim through I'd say most of the traits aren't a description of a gentleman at all but of a decent human being regardless of their gender - none of those traits should be the sole domain of a man but that any person strives to display |
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"I'm not convinced that a true gentleman exists these days.
You can exhibit gentlemanly behaviour but without a spitfire, a public school upbringing and women to woo...…"
Really or are you saying that with your tongue firmly in your cheek. |
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"Doors! Why are guys obsessed with f*cking door etiquette? Nobody cares!
A man is a gentleman when he comports himself with dignity and integrity regardless of the situation. A gentleman speaks to a street-sweeper and a duke with the same courtesy.
Above all, a gentleman is kind. For the literary, Mr Darcy wasn’t always a gentleman. Joe Gargery was.
Hell yes."
I'll give another hell yeah |
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"Haven't read the whole thread but based on a skim through I'd say most of the traits aren't a description of a gentleman at all but of a decent human being regardless of their gender - none of those traits should be the sole domain of a man but that any person strives to display "
Agreed. Replace the word gentleman with lady, and my post still applies. Nobody is exempt from behaving with decorum and good manners. |
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"Haven't read the whole thread but based on a skim through I'd say most of the traits aren't a description of a gentleman at all but of a decent human being regardless of their gender - none of those traits should be the sole domain of a man but that any person strives to display "
But wouldn't you say that that a man that's a decent human being would be classed as a gentleman?
I am not saying they are the sole domain of a man and in reference to others it has no sexuality attached to it whatsoever it's just how some one behaves. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Haven't read the whole thread but based on a skim through I'd say most of the traits aren't a description of a gentleman at all but of a decent human being regardless of their gender - none of those traits should be the sole domain of a man but that any person strives to display
But wouldn't you say that that a man that's a decent human being would be classed as a gentleman?
I am not saying they are the sole domain of a man and in reference to others it has no sexuality attached to it whatsoever it's just how some one behaves. "
Yes they would be "classed" as a gentleman but my point was those traits shouldn't be gender specific and therefore the term "gentleman" becomes irrelevant to a degree |
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"Haven't read the whole thread but based on a skim through I'd say most of the traits aren't a description of a gentleman at all but of a decent human being regardless of their gender - none of those traits should be the sole domain of a man but that any person strives to display
But wouldn't you say that that a man that's a decent human being would be classed as a gentleman?
I am not saying they are the sole domain of a man and in reference to others it has no sexuality attached to it whatsoever it's just how some one behaves.
Yes they would be "classed" as a gentleman but my point was those traits shouldn't be gender specific and therefore the term "gentleman" becomes irrelevant to a degree "
As with lots of things we are very much in agreement. I think the difference between a decent human and one who is selfish can be such that as a man I would refer to myself as a gentleman to separate myself from a man who is not a decent person but still a man. Hence why I would use this term for myself I am not getting into the lady, woman debate as it's a far to big can of worms to open and there have been loads said about this before and I will stear clear of that debate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Haven't read the whole thread but based on a skim through I'd say most of the traits aren't a description of a gentleman at all but of a decent human being regardless of their gender - none of those traits should be the sole domain of a man but that any person strives to display
But wouldn't you say that that a man that's a decent human being would be classed as a gentleman?
I am not saying they are the sole domain of a man and in reference to others it has no sexuality attached to it whatsoever it's just how some one behaves.
Yes they would be "classed" as a gentleman but my point was those traits shouldn't be gender specific and therefore the term "gentleman" becomes irrelevant to a degree "
I might be wrong but I feel like the terms gentlemen and lady are, in the traditional sense of course, not just gendered but also heavily influenced by class.
I also think that when we think of the term gentlemen, not all gentlemen have been good, ‘decent’ men. It’s been associated with manners, elocution and evening to an extent dress but it’s not explicitly always been tied to being that socially aware or ‘good’. |
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"
I might be wrong but I feel like the terms gentlemen and lady are, in the traditional sense of course, not just gendered but also heavily influenced by class.
I also think that when we think of the term gentlemen, not all gentlemen have been good, ‘decent’ men. It’s been associated with manners, elocution and evening to an extent dress but it’s not explicitly always been tied to being that socially aware or ‘good’. "
I would disagree with you on the class thing. As someone from a working class background in Ireland where my father and Grandfather were both what I would class a gentleman I feel it has nithingbto do with class. Maybe quite some years ago it was the thought of the upper class but I think that is not unique to a certain class of people much how as it was highlighted it's not actually unique to a gender. |
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By *reya73Woman
over a year ago
Whitley Bay |
Ah a gentleman .. It's a lovely term. Old fashioned and dated. But I like it.
To me, it simply means a man who is authentically respectful and kind as a human. His behaviour and manner reflects this.
Nowadays it's a certain natural demeanour within a personality rather than expected patterns of behaviour for men.
Anyone can act as a gentleman and do/say all the 'gentlemanly' things..but still be a twat.
A true gent is someone who is just naturally so. I know a few.
X
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Isn’t that more applicable to 'gentry', i.e. high-born, well bred, high class, etc?
These days the terms 'lady' and 'gentlemen' are less to do with how many acres you have in Hampshire, and more about how you treat your fellow human being, aren’t they?
Hate the mention the d-word, but I hold doors open for everyone, and I’m very grateful when ANYONE holds one open for me.
Kindness and decency, innit? |
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"Isn’t that more applicable to 'gentry', i.e. high-born, well bred, high class, etc?
These days the terms 'lady' and 'gentlemen' are less to do with how many acres you have in Hampshire, and more about how you treat your fellow human being, aren’t they?
Hate the mention the d-word, but I hold doors open for everyone, and I’m very grateful when ANYONE holds one open for me.
Kindness and decency, innit? "
It is innit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I might be wrong but I feel like the terms gentlemen and lady are, in the traditional sense of course, not just gendered but also heavily influenced by class.
I also think that when we think of the term gentlemen, not all gentlemen have been good, ‘decent’ men. It’s been associated with manners, elocution and evening to an extent dress but it’s not explicitly always been tied to being that socially aware or ‘good’.
I would disagree with you on the class thing. As someone from a working class background in Ireland where my father and Grandfather were both what I would class a gentleman I feel it has nithingbto do with class. Maybe quite some years ago it was the thought of the upper class but I think that is not unique to a certain class of people much how as it was highlighted it's not actually unique to a gender."
Fair enough. I’m speaking from a traditional perspective because I don’t think terms like gentlemen are really relevant in modern times. Well, perhaps just not amongst my generation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For clarification I did say in the traditional sense. Gentlemen and lady are traditional terms in my opinion and have been replaced completely with ideas and/or terms more fitting of modern contexts. I thought there was a traditional link between class and those things, and I said I was probably wrong.
Hey, this is why I decided doing literature at university was a tall order.
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"
Fair enough. I’m speaking from a traditional perspective because I don’t think terms like gentlemen are really relevant in modern times. Well, perhaps just not amongst my generation. "
Why should it not be relevant amongst your generation. I am bring both my boys up in the same way that I was brought up with the same values and so far they have the respect of anyone they meet for how they conduct themselves. If they were ever to say that the values are not relevant as it's a generation thing I would be gobsmacked. But thankfully they do me proud ever day. So I find it bizarre that the values are not relevant maybe the term is a tad old fashioned but the values are just as Gemini man highlighted those of a decent human. |
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People are unique and terms like gentleman are perhaps not as good as just man. Behavioural traits, values and other personal choices and attributes are typically open for all. Rigid stereotypes can stifle.
I like a man or woman who is respectful of others, shows sensitivity of what others may need, and is a generally decent person. I like others who are happy as themselves. Not a rant here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Fair enough. I’m speaking from a traditional perspective because I don’t think terms like gentlemen are really relevant in modern times. Well, perhaps just not amongst my generation.
Why should it not be relevant amongst your generation. I am bring both my boys up in the same way that I was brought up with the same values and so far they have the respect of anyone they meet for how they conduct themselves. If they were ever to say that the values are not relevant as it's a generation thing I would be gobsmacked. But thankfully they do me proud ever day. So I find it bizarre that the values are not relevant maybe the term is a tad old fashioned but the values are just as Gemini man highlighted those of a decent human."
The term isn’t really relevant because as said, the values are associated with just generally being a good person. I rarely, in fact I don’t hear those terms floating about unless in jest. |
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"
Fair enough. I’m speaking from a traditional perspective because I don’t think terms like gentlemen are really relevant in modern times. Well, perhaps just not amongst my generation.
Why should it not be relevant amongst your generation. I am bring both my boys up in the same way that I was brought up with the same values and so far they have the respect of anyone they meet for how they conduct themselves. If they were ever to say that the values are not relevant as it's a generation thing I would be gobsmacked. But thankfully they do me proud ever day. So I find it bizarre that the values are not relevant maybe the term is a tad old fashioned but the values are just as Gemini man highlighted those of a decent human.
The term isn’t really relevant because as said, the values are associated with just generally being a good person. I rarely, in fact I don’t hear those terms floating about unless in jest. "
The difference of me being over twice your age then I guess.
I am becoming a bit of a dinosaur in how I view some things but not everything. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"Ah a gentleman .. It's a lovely term. Old fashioned and dated. But I like it.
To me, it simply means a man who is authentically respectful and kind as a human. His behaviour and manner reflects this.
Nowadays it's a certain natural demeanour within a personality rather than expected patterns of behaviour for men.
Anyone can act as a gentleman and do/say all the 'gentlemanly' things..but still be a twat.
A true gent is someone who is just naturally so. I know a few.
X
"
Notwithstanding my earlier non-gendered comments I agree with the above totally - I'd add that a 'gentleman' or 'lady' shouldn't bestow that title on themselves more has it bestowed upon them - it's a natural thing that others recognise rather than something you can necessarily "be" for yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If he picks the knickers you dropped on the floor and doesn't attempt to knick them
On a more serious note. Apart from the usual manners etc. Nicely pointed out already..A man who isnt afraid to show his caring and gentle side. Refined one. |
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We describe Mr in our profile as a true gent.
He is highly respectful, thoughtful caring and considerate in everything he says and does. He wouldn't hurt, insult or be offensive to anyone.
He looks after me really well incl opening doors and carrying the bags ( I don't always let him as I am quite independant) and would never stand by and watch me struggle with anything.
He would help anyone who he thought would need it and is loyal and true to his family and friends.
A true gent.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Respect and honour and a subtle sense of humour..no servants, fast cars, big banks etc necessary..it's a man who pays attention to the finer details often missed by others that are important to the lady...he maybe a drifter , he maybe a common man..he maybe a rich man..but all may rise to that known as a gentleman.  |
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"We describe Mr in our profile as a true gent.
He is highly respectful, thoughtful caring and considerate in everything he says and does. He wouldn't hurt, insult or be offensive to anyone.
He looks after me really well incl opening doors and carrying the bags ( I don't always let him as I am quite independant) and would never stand by and watch me struggle with anything.
He would help anyone who he thought would need it and is loyal and true to his family and friends.
A true gent. "
That sounds as good a definition as any. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A gentlemen should ask a lady how she is feeling the day after a date...or is that just normal manners? "
He should message his mates to make sure they get home safe always! |
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By *hubaysi OP Woman
over a year ago
Leeds |
"A gentlemen should ask a lady how she is feeling the day after a date...or is that just normal manners?
He should message his mates to make sure they get home safe always! "
A good reason for filters..... |
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