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Twunts anonymous...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My name is Dan and I am a twunt...bonjour  
Are you a twunt as well?yep
Hi Whistle
 hey hope you're OK  "
Im alright bud. Got my own shit to deal with but hey. Hope you and yours are all safe and well |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ohh that’s a good beard you have there for a twunt   "
Thanks Sandy. Im too much of a twunt to shave. Welcome to the twunts anonymous meeting. Hope you find the support you need... |
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"Ohh that’s a good beard you have there for a twunt
Thanks Sandy. Im too much of a twunt to shave. Welcome to the twunts anonymous meeting. Hope you find the support you need..."
Do we get a badge |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ohh that’s a good beard you have there for a twunt
Thanks Sandy. Im too much of a twunt to shave. Welcome to the twunts anonymous meeting. Hope you find the support you need...
Do we get a badge "
Yeah. Im beavering away with some blunt ended scissors and a pritt sick as we speak... |
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His name is Dan
And he's a Twunt.
He's a very naice Man
And not a cunt.
He has a pink shirt
But don't say he's gay.
He's just popped in
In order to say.
That's he's a twunt
And he really don't mind
If you say he's a twunt
He's really that kind
He'd offer a shag
But he's in isolation
And when he gets out
He's fucking the nation
Cos he's a TWUNT ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"His name is Dan
And he's a Twunt.
He's a very naice Man
And not a cunt.
He has a pink shirt
But don't say he's gay.
He's just popped in
In order to say.
That's he's a twunt
And he really don't mind
If you say he's a twunt
He's really that kind
He'd offer a shag
But he's in isolation
And when he gets out
He's fucking the nation
Cos he's a TWUNT !"
Thats absolutely brilliant Granny Crumpet. Im both chuffed and flattered that you took time out to compose that. You really have made my day lovely x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You are welcome. Was it the time out or the end product ?"
granny crumpet
is not a strumpet
you either like her way or you can lump it
shes a lady of mystery
but goes way back in fab history
shes from liverpool it would seem
but her views can be extreme
shes not lost her marbles yet
and never will i would bet
does she keep her teeth in a glass
or is she from the upper class
i don't know and neither do you
she won't feature in whos who
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
it is with great sadness that i have to announce the loss of a few further businesses around our village. The bra manufacturer has gone bust, the specialist in submersibles has gone under, the manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers, the suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded, the heinz factory has been canned as they couldn't ketchup with orders, the tarmac laying company has reached the end of the road, the bread company has run out of dough, the watchmakers has had to wind down, the chinese has been taken away, the shoe shop has had to put their foot down and give staff the boot and finally the launderette has been taken to the cleaners |
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"Ohh that’s a good beard you have there for a twunt
Thanks Sandy. Im too much of a twunt to shave. Welcome to the twunts anonymous meeting. Hope you find the support you need...
Do we get a badge
Yeah. Im beavering away with some blunt ended scissors and a pritt sick as we speak..."
I hope your pritt stick hadn’t run out of stick  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Ohh that’s a good beard you have there for a twunt
Thanks Sandy. Im too much of a twunt to shave. Welcome to the twunts anonymous meeting. Hope you find the support you need...
Do we get a badge
Yeah. Im beavering away with some blunt ended scissors and a pritt sick as we speak...
I hope your pritt stick hadn’t run out of stick "
Ive got the stickiest pritt stick in town... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"it is with great sadness that i have to announce the loss of a few further businesses around our village. The bra manufacturer has gone bust, the specialist in submersibles has gone under, the manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers, the suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded, the heinz factory has been canned as they couldn't ketchup with orders, the tarmac laying company has reached the end of the road, the bread company has run out of dough, the watchmakers has had to wind down, the chinese has been taken away, the shoe shop has had to put their foot down and give staff the boot and finally the launderette has been taken to the cleaners "
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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago
Peterborough |
"it is with great sadness that i have to announce the loss of a few further businesses around our village. The bra manufacturer has gone bust, the specialist in submersibles has gone under, the manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation, a dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers, the suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded, the heinz factory has been canned as they couldn't ketchup with orders, the tarmac laying company has reached the end of the road, the bread company has run out of dough, the watchmakers has had to wind down, the chinese has been taken away, the shoe shop has had to put their foot down and give staff the boot and finally the launderette has been taken to the cleaners "
Near my part of the world.
The bouncy castle hire company has collapsed, the BDSM suppliers and the winch firm have wound down, the turf growers have been put out to pasture, the taxi firm has been flagged as down, the train shed has hit the buffers, the bookies have ran out of cash (what were the odds?), the quarry has hit rock bottom, the fishing club and klakes have had the bailiffs in.
Not good for the musical instrument repairers either, as they haven't had a prophet (A keyboard by Sequential Circuits) since Februrary. The sewage pipe makers are also going the drain.
More bad news again, the undertakers have announced grave statistics, during this quarter.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying "
Hor licks I like... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Only twunts message me..
Read my profile.. Very twunty"
Ehh Ive not messaged you and I'm a proper twunt... Are you a twunt though? I only message other twunts and twuntettes. And more importantly what flavour are you? Ready salted, cheese and onion, salt and vinegar or prawn coctail? |
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"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
Hor licks I like..."
I can only spell Ovaltine  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
Hor licks I like...
I can only spell Ovaltine "
Can you do the song? |
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"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
Hor licks I like...
I can only spell Ovaltine
Can you do the song?"
Yes we are the Olvatinies .... damn I am that old |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
Hor licks I like...
I can only spell Ovaltine
Can you do the song?
Yes we are the Olvatinies .... damn I am that old "
"We are the ovaltinies
Happy boys and girls..." |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying "
The Ovaltwunties lol |
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"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol"
Ohhh I like that |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
Hor licks I like...
I can only spell Ovaltine
Can you do the song?
Yes we are the Olvatinies .... damn I am that old "
Nah we're GenX is all. The WW2 generation were still pretty much in charge when we were kids so we caught the tail end of the old fashioned stuff like ovaltinie songs and bill and ben... And then acid house happened lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that "
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..." |
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"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls...""
Are you making badges with that on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on "
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter... |
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"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter..."
Awww I bet you look pretty |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter...
Awww I bet you look pretty "
Im like a little twinkly shooting star... |
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"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter...
Awww I bet you look pretty
Im like a little twinkly shooting star..."
Pssssttttt!!! Is it just the two of us left in the clubhouse now ?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter...
Awww I bet you look pretty
Im like a little twinkly shooting star...
Pssssttttt!!! Is it just the two of us left in the clubhouse now ? "
I think we might be... What do you want to do? |
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"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter...
Awww I bet you look pretty
Im like a little twinkly shooting star...
Pssssttttt!!! Is it just the two of us left in the clubhouse now ?
I think we might be... What do you want to do?"
There’s not much you can do when you are six foot apart |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter...
Awww I bet you look pretty
Im like a little twinkly shooting star...
Pssssttttt!!! Is it just the two of us left in the clubhouse now ?
I think we might be... What do you want to do?
There’s not much you can do when you are six foot apart "
I think online avatars are immune... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter...
Awww I bet you look pretty
Im like a little twinkly shooting star...
Pssssttttt!!! Is it just the two of us left in the clubhouse now ?
I think we might be... What do you want to do?
There’s not much you can do when you are six foot apart
I think online avatars are immune..."
Would you care to dance? |
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"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter...
Awww I bet you look pretty
Im like a little twinkly shooting star...
Pssssttttt!!! Is it just the two of us left in the clubhouse now ?
I think we might be... What do you want to do?
There’s not much you can do when you are six foot apart
I think online avatars are immune..."
Awwww Is that pirate captain Snoopy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter...
Awww I bet you look pretty
Im like a little twinkly shooting star...
Pssssttttt!!! Is it just the two of us left in the clubhouse now ?
I think we might be... What do you want to do?
There’s not much you can do when you are six foot apart
I think online avatars are immune...
Awwww Is that pirate captain Snoopy "
Nah that is actually DanDogx, I'm just a product of his rum soaked imagination! |
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"There must be some more twunts out and about this time of night...
They’re all in bed with a cocoa the bastards
What a bunch of twunts...
Yeah, I prefer Ovaltine, just saying
The Ovaltwunties lol
Ohhh I like that
"We are the ovaltwunties
Horny boys and girls..."
Are you making badges with that on
Im covered in pritt stick and glitter...
Awww I bet you look pretty
Im like a little twinkly shooting star...
Pssssttttt!!! Is it just the two of us left in the clubhouse now ?
I think we might be... What do you want to do?
There’s not much you can do when you are six foot apart
I think online avatars are immune...
Awwww Is that pirate captain Snoopy
Nah that is actually DanDogx, I'm just a product of his rum soaked imagination!"
|
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Us twunts are in short supply  Twunts should not be allowed power tools
I totally agree
They should be banned from power tool usage completely.. And probably from opening boxes with knives too!
I used a fire poker "
Thats exactly the sort of thing a twunt would do... Welcome brother |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Us twunts are in short supply Twunts should not be allowed power tools
I totally agree
They should be banned from power tool usage completely.. And probably from opening boxes with knives too!
I used a fire poker
Thats exactly the sort of thing a twunt would do... Welcome brother"
Finally a kindred spirit  thank you brother |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My name is Dan and I am a twunt...
No ......., I am Dan!!!!!!
I am Dan and so is my wife...
Kind of apt considering the film!!!! "
:-
I always look on the bright side of life bud... |
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