FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Jokes
Jokes
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
"What do you call a boomerang that's broken????? A stick... Del" What’s brown and sticky. A stick | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
| |||
| |||
"Hey, I can do an impersonation of someone.... "Don't push me, don't push me" Who am I?" Give up, who are you? | |||
 | |||
"What's brown and sticky? A stick "See above | |||
"Hey, I can do an impersonation of someone.... "Don't push me, don't push me" Who am I? Give up, who are you? " Humpty dumpty | |||
 | |||
"Finally got an Asda delivery slot for my shopping. I’ve ordered Turkey, sprouts and some Christmas crackers!!!! "Haha  | |||
| |||
"What's brown and sticky? A stick
See above "Damn missed it lol | |||
| |||
| |||
"A boy was playing outside when a football came over the fence. “Throw the ball back you little shit” The boy ran into the kitchen “ mum what’s shit?” Mum replied “ oh err it’s food” Boy goes out again. Ball comes over the fence. “Throw the ball back you little bastard” He runs into the kitchen. “Mum what’s a bastard?” Mum thinks for a moment. “Oh er it’s children” He goes out again. Ball bounces into the garden once more. “Throw the ball back you little fucker” “Mum, mum what’s fuck?” “Ahh” mum says “it’s getting dressed” The next day his friends come round for his birthday. He opens the door. “ come in you bastards, the shits on the table my mum is upstairs getting fucked”. " | |||
"Hey, I can do an impersonation of someone.... "Don't push me, don't push me" Who am I? Give up, who are you? " A stick | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' And the husband replied, 'Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.' 'Go ahead,' she sobbed,' but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!' And the husband began -- 'Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days. So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't wear because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don't wear because I don't have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don't wear because someone at work has a pair the same.' The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, " Do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use"?" this one made me spit iut my drink hilarious good joke  | |||
| |||
| |||
"Did anyone hear about the nice Dr I met ? " No? | |||
"Did anyone hear about the nice Dr I met ? No? " He was an Ultra Sound guy hehe | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain." Love it! | |||
| |||
"What do you call a Magician who has lost his Magic? Ian." Oh thank you thank you hahaha | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Lickalotapuss " What do you call a gay dinosaur? Mega-saw-arse What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saw-us What do you call a deaf dinosaur? Anything you want he can’t hear you | |||
| |||
 | |||
