FabSwingers.com > Forums > London > Anyone else struggle to meet people? Or is it just me?
Anyone else struggle to meet people? Or is it just me?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi fabbers. I'm posting here, because sadly I'm feeling rather frustrated. I joined 3 months ago and I have successfully only met one couple, who were miles away from me. I am on this site daily, have sent out countless amounts of messages to every woman/couple/male local to me. I have also posted local meets, in hope to attract peoples attention.
And yet, no one has ever responded to my meets. And pretty much every single message that I've sent to women/males/couples, have either been read and ignored or instantly deleted! Or I've been instantly blocked, for absolutely no reason! On top of that, I've had a fair few time wasters, talking to me, arranging meets and then failing to get back to me or again, blocking me for no reason!
I try to word my messages politely and respectfully. I am a polite, friendly, outgoing and respectful person. I try to work around other people, making it easier for them. And I've offered to travel long distances to meet people. And yet, all I ever get is ignored, messed around or instantly blocked!
Has anyone else had the same issues? Or is it really just me? Am I doing something wrong?
The impression that I get from this place, based on my experience so far, is that pretty much everyone wants either single females, couples or single black men. If, like myself, you are a single, average looking white male, then no one wants to know! And before everyone starts accusing me of being racist, I'm far from it, I have friends of all nationalities!!!
I'm simply trying to work out why I'm having such a difficult experience here! Think I will be leaving here very shortly. Its just not worth the amount of effort that I put into it.
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its hard on here to stand out try going to socials get to meet people there are clubs ive been on here for years and its always hard there must be 5 guys for every girl or couple, tyr to get some verification's they also help |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You are a straight white single guy - and yes, you are average looking ... in a way - similar to me.
Its not that nobody wants you - its that there are so very many guys here who are exactly the same.
Unfortunately the biggest problem here is us guys.
Guys on here are not like you and I, they send silly things, one liners, badly written messages and so on.
Then there are the women and couples who have unrealistic expectations of this site - dont contact me unless you are a bi black guy with a 12" cock....and yes thats a direct quote.
Basically - because "we" are 10 a penny as average white blokes there is nothing distinguishing about us.
So, if we were in somewhere like Asia, then we would be the distinguishing type.
So, unfortunately - this site is a piece of crud...as are the absolute majority of websites like this.
Its the site, and the type of people that frequent here - its society ... all about "me" - not about how we can help others...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well said, couldn't agree more. Most people do have their expectations set far too high! People seem to want the impossible. All the more reason why I will be leaving very shortly. Just not worth the time or effort. Its the rudeness and the ignorance that sets me off, you take the time to write a decent, respectful message and people just completely ignore you, without as much as a 'thanks but no thanks' reply! Such a shame, what could be an amazing experience is spoiled by people wanting unrealistic, unreasonable expectations! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know where your are coming from mate. I ended up taking a break for around four months due to being sick of getting no responses. I'm back now and am finding it equally as annoying TBH!
What gets me is the profiles that say send a nice polite respectful message etc etc. And then when you do they can't be arsed to spend 6 whole seconds typing "thanks but no thanks"...! And we are considered the rude ones ! I do appreciate that females and couples get a whole shit load of messages but a lil courtesy for the nice guys would be nice.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well said FabianH. When someone goes to the trouble of writing out a decent, respectfully worded message then it would be equally respectful to recieve a reply, even if it is just to say thanks but no thanks. It's common courtesy and good manners. Something that most people seem to lack on here! Very unfortunate! |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
For a single guy this site is hard as according to some of the forums I have read single guys outnumber single ladies and couples by 20 to1 and if you can’t accommodate then it means you have something to hide however genuine your reason is.I too have felt like giving up and calling it a day however I decided to stay and changed my approach I have started attending socials and I am a member of club and I go to a non membership spa I contribute in the forums but only if I have something to say that may be relevant.I now feel a lot better about the site and I don’t take it too seriously.My advice to all you guys is look to attend socials and clubs show that you have social skills , manners be polite and respectful but never be pushy leave a verification and most times you will get one back. |
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"For a single guy this site is hard as according to some of the forums I have read single guys outnumber single ladies and couples by 20 to1 and if you can’t accommodate then it means you have something to hide however genuine your reason is.I too have felt like giving up and calling it a day however I decided to stay and changed my approach I have started attending socials and I am a member of club and I go to a non membership spa I contribute in the forums but only if I have something to say that may be relevant.I now feel a lot better about the site and I don’t take it too seriously.My advice to all you guys is look to attend socials and clubs show that you have social skills , manners be polite and respectful but never be pushy leave a verification and most times you will get one back."
I totally agree with Costa, there are a few regular socials held around the london areas and single guys are always welcome, and that includes all colours, ages and looks. Get yourself to those, meet some people face to face.
Rabbit |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not all of us single guys feel comfortable turning up to a social event/club on their own. Especially when it's the first time, it can be very daunting! I've often thought about it myself but just don't like the thought of going in alone. It's not that easy for some of us. And this site has knocked my confidence to be fair! If I get rejected by people online, who haven't even met me or given me a chance, then perhaps I will also be rejected at a meet/club/event? I've considered attending Rios before but I've never gone through with it, based on the fact that the majority of people on here have knocked my confidence and enthusiasm! |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Not all of us single guys feel comfortable turning up to a social event/club on their own. Especially when it's the first time, it can be very daunting! I've often thought about it myself but just don't like the thought of going in alone. It's not that easy for some of us. And this site has knocked my confidence to be fair! If I get rejected by people online, who haven't even met me or given me a chance, then perhaps I will also be rejected at a meet/club/event? I've considered attending Rios before but I've never gone through with it, based on the fact that the majority of people on here have knocked my confidence and enthusiasm! "
. It’s coming across as though your putting too much stress / pressure on yourself trying to find what you want.Try to take Fabs less serious.With regards to the socials it’s like going to the pub with your mates to watch the football you will get into conversation.Also you will come across people who it’s their first social so you won’t be alone and if you meet a guy similar to your self perhaps you could go to a club together that way you won’t totally be alone.If you are thinking of meeting ladies or couples at Rios the ratio is something like 10 to 1 and some of the ladies during the day are there just for the facilities.When I go to Rios I go to enjoy the facilities and anything more is a bonus and I would advise you to adopt a similar attitude to Rios and clubs.
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By *ave 42Man
over a year ago
pontefract |
Not all of us single guys feel comfortable turning up to a social event/club on their own. Especially when it's the first time, it can be very daunting! I've often thought about it myself but just don't like the thought of going in alone.
I know where your coming from
Due to go to my first social in 4 weeks time and I have already been warned by some couples I know to expect to be ignored. Because a lot of the people that will be there have known each other for years and they will have there own little click and if your not already part of it you’ve no chance of being accepted
I’m still going to go but not expecting anything and if it’s shit well I can always leave and at least I know I’ve made the effort |
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"Not all of us single guys feel comfortable turning up to a social event/club on their own. Especially when it's the first time, it can be very daunting! I've often thought about it myself but just don't like the thought of going in alone.
I know where your coming from
Due to go to my first social in 4 weeks time and I have already been warned by some couples I know to expect to be ignored. Because a lot of the people that will be there have known each other for years and they will have there own little click and if your not already part of it you’ve no chance of being accepted
I’m still going to go but not expecting anything and if it’s shit well I can always leave and at least I know I’ve made the effort "
Its actually just as difficult for a single female going into a social on their own but you sometimes just have to do it, I have a few times and knew no one to start.... go with no ecpectations and let the organiser know beforehand you are a first timer and in most instances they will 'look out for you' once you have tried a couple you will never look back.
I have never been to an organised social where anyone has been made to feel like you said above, especially if there a few who already know each other. Myself personally have organised many many socials in london and heathrow and single guys are always welcomed (within a certain numberlimit) they are welcomed by myself and others alike ... you only have to read the veris on the heathrow social profile to see.
There are 2 socials coming up in the next 2 months in london and Croydon and both hostesses and regulars are amazingly welcoming.
Hope this helps
Rabbit |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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know where your coming from
"Due to go to my first social in 4 weeks time and I have already been warned by some couples I know to expect to be ignored. Because a lot of the people that will be there have known each other for years and they will have there own little click and if your not already part of it you’ve no chance of being accepted"
Exactly my point! If people haven't got the decency to talk to me through a computer screen, then god knows what it would be like if I turned up at a social event. I would be taking my time and effort to attend, for what? To sit there and be ignored probably! It just taints the whole experience. And that's why I simply haven't bothered as of yet |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The whole reason I joined this place is because I've had a real rough year so far and I thought that this would be a bit of fun and excitement. Get out, meet new people, make friends and enjoy life a little. And if I'm completely honest, it's only made me feel worse, as I only ever get straight up rejection or completely ignored. Of course, I'm not saying that it's the same story for everyone but I certainly haven't had much of a good time here so far. It's just all a little disappointing |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"The whole reason I joined this place is because I've had a real rough year so far and I thought that this would be a bit of fun and excitement. Get out, meet new people, make friends and enjoy life a little. And if I'm completely honest, it's only made me feel worse, as I only ever get straight up rejection or completely ignored. Of course, I'm not saying that it's the same story for everyone but I certainly haven't had much of a good time here so far. It's just all a little disappointing "
 . Looking at your profile you are based near Croydon if so keep looking at the London forum because there will be a Croydon Social coming up soon and the Bank Social is 27th September I believe Rabbit has already stated this in a earlier posting on this thread.I know a lot of the people that go to both these socials and a more friendly , knowledgeable , helpful bunch you will struggle to find.You said you have tried sending message without success what have you got to lose by attending the socials especially the Croydon one as you are a local guy. |
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"know where your coming from
"Due to go to my first social in 4 weeks time and I have already been warned by some couples I know to expect to be ignored. Because a lot of the people that will be there have known each other for years and they will have there own little click and if your not already part of it you’ve no chance of being accepted"
Exactly my point! If people haven't got the decency to talk to me through a computer screen, then god knows what it would be like if I turned up at a social event. I would be taking my time and effort to attend, for what? To sit there and be ignored probably! It just taints the whole experience. And that's why I simply haven't bothered as of yet"
I cant speak for the socials out of London but, last time i will say it on this thread - promise haha, but meeting people in a 'real life' situation is actually so much better than those you just message who are just on the other end of the internet.. but you really do need to take that leap of faith and go. I really hope you try and attend as i feel you will pleasantly surprised... if you dont, your loss, but obviously dont then complain again about finding it difficult to meet.. (not meant in a bad way of course)
Rabbit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well said FabianH. When someone goes to the trouble of writing out a decent, respectfully worded message then it would be equally respectful to recieve a reply, even if it is just to say thanks but no thanks. It's common courtesy and good manners. Something that most people seem to lack on here! Very unfortunate! "
Guys, a woman's perspective here...I currently have nearly 400 unread messages in my mailbox. I feel awful about not responding because I am not a rude person but it's simply not possible to respond to each and every one!! The ratio of men to women on this site is staggering...you have to stand out I'm afraid. You have to have good photos, be interesting. Don't blame women because you're not successful..xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Guys, a woman's perspective here...I currently have nearly 400 unread messages in my mailbox. I feel awful about not responding because I am not a rude person but it's simply not possible to respond to each and every one!! The ratio of men to women on this site is staggering...you have to stand out I'm afraid. You have to have good photos, be interesting. Don't blame women because you're not successful..xx"
I can respect that and I fully understand the amount of messages women must receive. And I have no issue if my messages haven't even been seen/read. However, my issue is when I've taken the time and thought to send a respectful, polite message and the person has actually read it and then totally ignored me and hasn't even bothered to reply. It's just plain rude! That's my issue! I could quite easily send a quick, disrespectful message along the lines of 'meet me and take my cock' but I don't do that, never have done, never will do. I'm always polite and respectful and I find it extremely rude and bad mannored when I take the time to be respectful and I'm completely ignored. Manners go a long way and it doesn't take much effort just to reply saying "sorry but not interested"!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""Guys, a woman's perspective here...I currently have nearly 400 unread messages in my mailbox. I feel awful about not responding because I am not a rude person but it's simply not possible to respond to each and every one!! The ratio of men to women on this site is staggering...you have to stand out I'm afraid. You have to have good photos, be interesting. Don't blame women because you're not successful..xx"
I can respect that and I fully understand the amount of messages women must receive. And I have no issue if my messages haven't even been seen/read. However, my issue is when I've taken the time and thought to send a respectful, polite message and the person has actually read it and then totally ignored me and hasn't even bothered to reply. It's just plain rude! That's my issue! I could quite easily send a quick, disrespectful message along the lines of 'meet me and take my cock' but I don't do that, never have done, never will do. I'm always polite and respectful and I find it extremely rude and bad mannored when I take the time to be respectful and I'm completely ignored. Manners go a long way and it doesn't take much effort just to reply saying "sorry but not interested"!!! "
But how would loads of " sorry, not interested" msgs make you feel better?
I dont understand |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It wouldn't necessarily make me feel any better, but it's nice to be spoken to and not treated as if I'm invisible and don't exist! The whole point of this particular topic is that:
1. Most people seem to be rude and ignorant
2. There seems to be a fare amount of time wasters, arranging meets with me and failing to confirm and finalise. Or just ignoring me or blocking me half way through a conversation. I even had one person who I was talking to, arranging a meet, they had no photos on their profile. So when I asked about seeing a photo before we meet, they went mad and accused me of only being a pic collector!
3. It seems like many people have their expectations set sky high! Not all of us guys are tall, muscly, black or hung like a horse! All I ever see on people's profiles, locally to me, is... People looking for f/mf, bbc or athletic!
4. Another thing, I always embrace a woman's curves. Curvey women always want to be accepted and of course, they should be! However, unfortunately it doesn't seem to work both ways! I'm not exactly slim or toned or athletic and I feel as if that's partly the reason why I get no interest!
As previously mentioned by myself, I'm not saying that it's the same story for everyone here, this is just my experience so far... |
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This sounds backwards but literally don’t try because if your trying to hard it’s off putting and obvious (everyone wants what they can’t have ). Stop letting it effect you aswell just send stuff that makes you laugh to woman if they laugh they will responde, that’s the sauce that works for me best of luck  |
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The only impression I get from this thread, is that no matter what anyone male or female posts, the advice they offer.
Is totaly pointless.
There has been several great comments, excellent advice, but it's been dismissed, with excuses.
If you're going to stay close minded about things, refuse to listen to words from people who really get this scene, know what they're talking about.
Then Fabs really isn't the place for you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Not at all. I've taken on board the info, advice and invitations to the socials. But my point is that my confidence has already taken a huge knock, because of the way I've been ignored or messed around by people here already! I will attend socials when I can in future, I don't have a closed mind at all. However, when I do attend a social, if I am ignored or feel like I'm not included or welcomed, then that will be the last straw for me. So, we shall see... |
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I was terrified when I went to my first social, but I went and i haven't looked back since.
You also haven't read the Q&As, it clearly says take a no reply is a no thank you and many people block if you don't meet there requirements to save receiving unwanted messages.
Take the hint that a no reply is a no thank you and consider yourself lucky if you're message is read - i personally do not read every message.
My last piece of advice is 'grow a pair' and attend a social and if you can't be asked then leave.
Good luck |
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"Not at all. I've taken on board the info, advice and invitations to the socials. But my point is that my confidence has already taken a huge knock, because of the way I've been ignored or messed around by people here already! I will attend socials when I can in future, I don't have a closed mind at all. However, when I do attend a social, if I am ignored or feel like I'm not included or welcomed, then that will be the last straw for me. So, we shall see... "
I'm glad to see you're intending to go to a social, however do not expect people to fall over themselves to speak to you - you have to make an effort.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You've basically just summed up everything that I've been talking about!
"however do not expect people to fall over themselves to speak to you - you have to make an effort."
I've been making an effort since day one of joining this place!!!!    |
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1 meet in 3 months is actually really good going there are plenty who wait well over a year.
Unfortunately the ratio of single guys to women / couples is something crazy like 100/1 sonits nothing personal they are simply just spoilt for choice of single guys is what they are after
I even discriminate on the distance someone would have to travel to meet me as I think there’s no point replying to a message from someone 20-30 miles away when there are 10 very similar profiles all within 5-10 miles, it’s nothing personal it’s just away of sifting through the messages
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"You've basically just summed up everything that I've been talking about!
"however do not expect people to fall over themselves to speak to you - you have to make an effort."
I've been making an effort since day one of joining this place!!!! "
An effort? What effort have you made other than typing on a keyboard?
Good luck .. i am really hoping you attend a social i am at and you can see how wrong you are
Rabbit .... over and out  |
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OP, you need to come off here and off the scene. You seem to be developing insecurities while still showing an entitled attitude - it is both unattractive and unhealthy. No one has to talk to you. No one has to reply to you. No one has to do anything. You do not have to keep trying. Just accept the way things are and find some other interests to pursue. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ha. See. I consider that last response to be quite rude! My point exactly! And yes, the only effort I've made so far is only typing on a keyboard! And why's that? Because no one has given me the time of day to actually speak to me properly and meet me! I can only make so much of an effort, there's only so much that I can do! It takes 2, as the saying goes! |
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"Well said FabianH. When someone goes to the trouble of writing out a decent, respectfully worded message then it would be equally respectful to recieve a reply, even if it is just to say thanks but no thanks. It's common courtesy and good manners. Something that most people seem to lack on here! Very unfortunate! "
Unfortunately you’d be surprised at the amount of polite we’ll worded messages that are actually copy and paste jobs, we have at least 4 guys that send us the exact same message between every few days to a fortnight (that’s not worded well each guy has his own separate message but they are sending the same ones over & over again do not very personal at all
& yes we probably should just block them but that feels rude & our profile clearly states an unanswered message is a polite no, sorry |
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"Ha. See. I consider that last response to be quite rude! My point exactly! And yes, the only effort I've made so far is only typing on a keyboard! And why's that? Because no one has given me the time of day to actually speak to me properly and meet me! I can only make so much of an effort, there's only so much that I can do! It takes 2, as the saying goes! "
Being on this site doesn’t entitle anyone to a meet or even a conversation which is how you’re now coming across, like I said in my previous message the odds aren’t on a single guys side on this site
I think so many people sign up thinking it’s a sex site that they’ll be guaranteed meets, the reality is this site is probably a lot harder going than say a dating site where there’s likely to be a better ratio of men to women (I know dates are not what you are after) your much better off going to a local bar or out with colleagues after work
As for not wanting to attend the socials on here or a club, the socials on here always have lots of single guys attending and seem to be popular, the first time is daunting for everyone even a couple walking in together, the regulars now your a newbie and the single girls will circle and follow you because they know you’re fresh meat, normally by our second or third visit to places we recognise a few faces can have a bit of a chat and feel more relaxed
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mrsandmrbrightside, I appreciate you're info and advice, thank you. I will be attending socials in the near future. Perhaps I went into all of this thinking it would be easy to connect with people and clearly I was so very wrong. I thought that it was all based around meeting people, sexual encounters and just good times in general. I didn't expect it all to be as difficult as its proving to be. And that's on me, my fault, perhaps I was being a bit unrealistic. I just hope that if and when I do make more if an effort, attending some socials, that I'm not left feeling disappointed again... |
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"Mrsandmrbrightside, I appreciate you're info and advice, thank you. I will be attending socials in the near future. Perhaps I went into all of this thinking it would be easy to connect with people and clearly I was so very wrong. I thought that it was all based around meeting people, sexual encounters and just good times in general. I didn't expect it all to be as difficult as its proving to be. And that's on me, my fault, perhaps I was being a bit unrealistic. I just hope that if and when I do make more if an effort, attending some socials, that I'm not left feeling disappointed again... "
From what I’ve read if nothing else you’ll come away from the social having had a good night out which is always a positive
We’ve been here 3yrs and haven’t been brave enough for a social yet and we’ve only ventured to clubs recently, which has enabled us to arrange a few couple meets which hadn’t been possible from FAB
Good luck with your future adventures |
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OP Someone else has already said it but it seems like you’re having difficulty with rejection be it conveyed it in a rude manner or not. It also appears like you have confidence issues too.
My polite suggestion would be to engage in another pastime that doesn’t involve rejection (a sport maybe?) where you can hone your social skills and become more confident about who you are as a person.
As for the socials, we attended the Heathrow social for the first time a few weeks back. We were nervous walking in, knew nobody and spoke between ourselves. Eventually struck conversation with others. They were that friendly we arranged to go to the social in London on Friday night and hope to attend more in the future.
As for single guys, we actively block them on fab as it’s not what we’re looking for. We will happily talk to everyone at a social though (as Costas can hopefully verify!) as it is just meeting up with people at a pub!
Go along, have the courage (and yes, it does take courage) to speak to others and if they aren’t so keen on chatting accept it and move on.
Good luck to you and maybe see you at the next social! |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Not at all. I've taken on board the info, advice and invitations to the socials. But my point is that my confidence has already taken a huge knock, because of the way I've been ignored or messed around by people here already! I will attend socials when I can in future, I don't have a closed mind at all. However, when I do attend a social, if I am ignored or feel like I'm not included or welcomed, then that will be the last straw for me. So, we shall see... "
. On the London forum the thread has started for the Bank Social 27th September I have put my name down and there are at least 7 others who have put their names down who I have met and verified all are good friendly people and 3 of them have experience in running and organise social so you will not be left out.Check your diary and if you are free put your name down what have you got to lose.If the Bank one is to awkward for you to get to or can’t make it wait for the Croydon Social again there will probably be the same ones that go to the Bank Social and others as I said earlier what have you got to lose.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Hi all. Thanks for everyone's input and advice. It's all been noticed and taken on board.
However, it just want to put this out there, this is one of the issues that I mentioned about some people having very unrealistic expectations! The following is a direct quote taken from someone's profile who I've just viewed, this is what this particular person expects:
"Can accommodate and travel
Single
Can come when called or text
Can last and repeat
Will only reply if picture is sent of face and and the subject is naughty wife when sending a message.
If I do not see this then I will delete and no reply will be sent."
In particular, I'm pointing out this person's expectation of wanting someone to to come and meet when called or texted! I mean, come on, really?? As if people are able to do that, just drop everything and turn up for a meet when it suits them! Very unrealistic expectations! My point proven I think! That will be the last comment on this topic from me, as I feel I've now made my point! Good day everyone!  |
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"Ha. See. I consider that last response to be quite rude! My point exactly! And yes, the only effort I've made so far is only typing on a keyboard! And why's that? Because no one has given me the time of day to actually speak to me properly and meet me! I can only make so much of an effort, there's only so much that I can do! It takes 2, as the saying goes! "
And of course creating a thread and complaining in each one of the messages in said thread about how people are rude and do not give you the time of the day will endear you to said people and ensure you get what you want.
Good luck, although you will need more than that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Real_curves_is_back
Please take a look at my last comment, above yours. Have a good read at it! And then you may begin to realise why I feel so frustrated! And I just want to add, that's not the first profile that I've come across with rediculous expectations! Anyway, I'm done trying to explain my point, seems like no one can see what I see. Good day |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"OP Someone else has already said it but it seems like you’re having difficulty with rejection be it conveyed it in a rude manner or not. It also appears like you have confidence issues too.
My polite suggestion would be to engage in another pastime that doesn’t involve rejection (a sport maybe?) where you can hone your social skills and become more confident about who you are as a person.
As for the socials, we attended the Heathrow social for the first time a few weeks back. We were nervous walking in, knew nobody and spoke between ourselves. Eventually struck conversation with others. They were that friendly we arranged to go to the social in London on Friday night and hope to attend more in the future.
As for single guys, we actively block them on fab as it’s not what we’re looking for. We will happily talk to everyone at a social though (as Costas can hopefully verify!) as it is just meeting up with people at a pub!
Go along, have the courage (and yes, it does take courage) to speak to others and if they aren’t so keen on chatting accept it and move on.
Good luck to you and maybe see you at the next social!"
. I can confirm that I met the couple with the username Blancmangecpl a nice friendly couple we chatted in the seating area they left me a verification which I have displayed I sent them one back but I don’t think it went through as they have blocked single guys which is not a problem as they pointed out in their post they are not looking for single guys but have no problem chatting at a social.OP you have to bite the bullet and attend a social as I have said to you on a previous posting I can personally vouch for seven of the people going to the next Bank Social and three of them regularly organise socials so there is no way you will be left out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Costas: I appreciate you're advice about attending socials and I will give it a go when I can. But I feel as if things are slightly going off topic. My issue isn't just about the fact that I'm finding things tricky. My other issue is about some people having very unrealistic expectations! The following is a direct quote taken from someone's profile who I've just viewed, this is what this particular person expects: someone who can:
"Can accommodate and travel
Single
Can come when called or text
Can last and repeat
Will only reply if picture is sent of face and and the subject is naughty wife when sending a message.
If I do not see this then I will delete and no reply will be sent."
In particular, I'm pointing out this person's expectation of wanting someone to come and meet when called or texted! I mean, come on, really?? As if people are able to do that, just drop everything and turn up for a meet when it suits them! Very unrealistic expectations!
Admitted, a social event will be a great way to meet people and make friends but I still don't believe it will change anybodies expectations of what they want! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all of us single guys feel comfortable turning up to a social event/club on their own. Especially when it's the first time, it can be very daunting! I've often thought about it myself but just don't like the thought of going in alone. It's not that easy for some of us. And this site has knocked my confidence to be fair! If I get rejected by people online, who haven't even met me or given me a chance, then perhaps I will also be rejected at a meet/club/event? I've considered attending Rios before but I've never gone through with it, based on the fact that the majority of people on here have knocked my confidence and enthusiasm! "
If you ain't brave enough to go to a social on your own, you ain't brave enough for my bedroom!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ariel13: oh dear, another person who has completely missed my point! I'm not just talking about socials, I'm also talking about some people's unrealistic expectations! Please take a read at my last comment!!!! |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Costas: I appreciate you're advice about attending socials and I will give it a go when I can. But I feel as if things are slightly going off topic. My issue isn't just about the fact that I'm finding things tricky. My other issue is about some people having very unrealistic expectations! The following is a direct quote taken from someone's profile who I've just viewed, this is what this particular person expects: someone who can:
"Can accommodate and travel
Single
Can come when called or text
Can last and repeat
Will only reply if picture is sent of face and and the subject is naughty wife when sending a message.
If I do not see this then I will delete and no reply will be sent."
In particular, I'm pointing out this person's expectation of wanting someone to come and meet when called or texted! I mean, come on, really?? As if people are able to do that, just drop everything and turn up for a meet when it suits them! Very unrealistic expectations!
Admitted, a social event will be a great way to meet people and make friends but I still don't believe it will change anybodies expectations of what they want! "
. Ok yes it’s unrealistic to expect someone to meet when they call or txt.Like me you are a single guy that can’t accommodate which on Fabs makes it harder however genuine your reasons are.The best way to get the best out of the site are no expectations , attend socials , attend clubs.On the London forums there is now a date for the Croydon Social 11th October and as stated before Bank Social 27th September so my advice is check your diary and if convenient put your name down. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ariel13: oh dear, another person who has completely missed my point! I'm not just talking about socials, I'm also talking about some people's unrealistic expectations! Please take a read at my last comment!!!! "
It's only an unrealistic expectation to you because you can't just drop everything at the drop of a hat to meet said woman. She's looking for that 1% who can meet her expectation, and unfortunately that's not you, so move onto the next person and don't dwell on it.
You've been on here a lot longer than me, I've only been here a week. I understand how this works, the ratio of men to women on this site is staggering. So I'm under no illusions that I am going to meet with anyone. I think my profile is OK, photos could be better I guess, but I'm just gonna keep on coming on, having a look about, possibly go to Rio's and when I'm feeling more confident attending a social or two to get myself noticed. I'll keep using the forums and if anything comes of it then it's a bonus, if it doesn't then at least I'm having fun on here. |
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By *inaryGuyMan
over a year ago
Near the River |
Reiterating many comments, guys outnumber women by a zillion to one. Combined that there are many time wasters, guys who message inappropriately and spam, non-serious users (mostly men but probably some women) - no wonder you are crowded out by other guys and women are spammed that they can’t cope with all the messages. Many people won’t like this but I suggest Fab charge everyone to use (view/message/receive mail) the service |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yet another direct quote taken from someone looking for a meet tonight on the events pages:
"Spitroast tonight .... message us xx must be fit and hung xx"
Now I'm just an average guy, and I see quotes like this many times on a daily basis! No wonder single, average guys like me have such a hard time! There is no limit went it comes to people's expectations! The bottom line to the point that I'm trying to make is that from what I've seen/read/heard, people expect the almost impossible! I've come to the decision to take a break from this place, it's not what I thought it would be and it's not working for me. I hope I haven't offended anyone with any of my comments, I'm just going on my experience, which hasn't been a good one. I wish all you fabbers the best of luck, as from what I've experienced, you're going to need it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're talking about other expectations, but your expectations are just as bad, as you came on here expecting to get laid quick by the sounds of it. If you treat this as a laugh and if you get some it's a bonus then you might enjoy the site more. I'm just hoping to meet and make new friends male and female and if I have a sexual encounter with another female then it's a bonus. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yet another direct quote taken from someone looking for a meet tonight on the events pages:
"Spitroast tonight .... message us xx must be fit and hung xx"
Now I'm just an average guy, and I see quotes like this many times on a daily basis! No wonder single, average guys like me have such a hard time! There is no limit went it comes to people's expectations! The bottom line to the point that I'm trying to make is that from what I've seen/read/heard, people expect the almost impossible! I've come to the decision to take a break from this place, it's not what I thought it would be and it's not working for me. I hope I haven't offended anyone with any of my comments, I'm just going on my experience, which hasn't been a good one. I wish all you fabbers the best of luck, as from what I've experienced, you're going to need it. "
Sorry I disagree with you.
We all put meets up with what our preferences are and that is different for everyone. I see profiles asking for gym fit people....do either of us message??? NO, why because we don’t fit that criteria.
I class myself as a below average, we still get meets. I refuse to class myself as a bbw as I don’t agree with the term. I am tall and plus size. If people like what they see with both of us they message, if we message them and they don’t like the look of us they don’t reply. So it’s not just “average men” it’s actually everyone that has the same struggle. fact of the matter is everyone had a preference and that’s ok. If none of us like it we aren’t being forced to stay on here.
You’ve been given some great advice OP and i will agree with them. Get yourself to a social....you will not be left out, the hosts do their roles well and everyone mingles. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Lol that made me chuckle. Seriously. I don't expect to 'get laid quick'! I'm happy to make friends on a social level! Meet people on a social level! But I haven't even been able to do that! Any why? Because people only ignore me! I spoke to one local woman who wanted to meet socially. I explained that I was free and available any time that week and she completely ignored me after that!!!!
So I can't even find someone to meet socially! Am I not making myself clear? Talk about banging your head against a brick wall!!! Anyway, doesn't matter now because I'm giving it up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been on here many years and have never met up with a woman from the site, I only ever meet women outside the site through social face to face meets...the old fashioned way.
As lots of people have said on here there is literally thousands of guys to choose from.
I'm also bisexual which statistically means 60% of women would not want to have sex with me so I use the site to socialise with guys and meet the odd bi guy with a view to play with them and female friends.
Either way you are not alone in feeling ignored but I wouldn't worry about it but get out there and socialise...be brave |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe your profile just needs a bit of tweaking mate. I'm no expert, but I can give you a bit of constructive criticism. Like stick the cock pics in a private folder or friends only folder. "in serious need of some fun" makes you sound desperate, so get rid of that. Try and sell yourself a bit more, flesh it out a bit, put a bit of humour in there etc.
Also like others have said, get yourself to a social and meet people, male and female, get yourself noticed. People might then think "who was that charismatic guy I spoke to last night, I'm gonna go and check him out, he seemed nice enough to chat to etc".
Me I'm overweight and in my mid 40s, I'm below average at the moment but I'm working on the weight thing (nearly 3 stone lost in 8 weeks) and in a couple months I'll feel confident enough to attend a social meet. Plus I can't really afford to attend the next one just yet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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OK then fabbers, let me give you a run down of why I come across as being filled with rage at the moment... You all think it's just this place that I'm having issues with? Well that's not the case. As well as being ignored and messed around on here, I am also on a normal dating site, looking for a genuine honest date/relationship. And it's the same old story with that too! Yes, I get ignored and rejected, and that acceptable, if I'm not someones 'type' then I can live with that! But I've also had many women mess with my head! They talk to me, show real interest, willingly exchange phone numbers or contact details. We talk more, arrange a date and then, out of the blue, for no reason at all, they go cold on me! Ignoring me and I never hear from them again!
And again, this is on a regular basis! Someone on this thread pointed out that I may have insecurities? Well I guess that person was right! And why do I feel insecure? Becuase of the way I'm constantly played and ignored! I've yet to come across a decent, honest, straight up, genuine person! From what I've experienced, no one on this planet is genuine!
Hence the reason why I've decided that I'm removing myself from fab and dating sites! All these Internet dating sites/swinging sites just seem to be full of toxic people! (again, only based on my awful experiences)
I apologise for my outburst, luckily for you I will be gone soon, so you won't have to read anymore! Wish you all the best. And dare I say it... Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That'll be the toys out the pram then.
Maybe it's you, maybe you need to rethink and reset and change things about yourself. I mean you're 32 and you're acting like a stroppy teenager. Maybe that comes across when you're talking to members of the opposite sex, alarm bells start ringing then they block you.
I know what you mean about other dating sites though, I'm on a few and it is difficult sometimes, people are picky in this day and age. I still chat to people on other sites though and I get messages out of the blue from people, so it's not all bad.
You've just got to sell yourself and hide all that bad insecure stuff well below the surface. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Excuse me? How dare you acuse me of throwing my toys out the pram and say that I'm a stroppy teenager! You don't know me! You have absolutely no idea what I've been through in the last year! My life has fallen apart, I've lost people close to me! I had to give up my job and relocate myself, pick myself up and start my life all over again! Hence the reason why I joined fab when I found out about it! At the time, it was an escape from all the shit life has thrown at me in the last year! Hence the reason why I feel so disappointed with the experience that I've had here!
But seriously, how dare you make such a flippant remark when you don't even know me! Bollocks to this, definitely removing myself from this place now! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Excuse me? How dare you acuse me of throwing my toys out the pram and say that I'm a stroppy teenager! "
It's OK calm down, I have teenagers, I know how they act when they get all stroppy and it's exactly how you are coming across on this post. If you are going to leave, leave, you don't have to make a big scene about it, that's what a stroppy teenager would do, hence why I said you are acting like a stroppy teenager. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Excuse me? How dare you acuse me of throwing my toys out the pram and say that I'm a stroppy teenager! You don't know me! You have absolutely no idea what I've been through in the last year! My life has fallen apart, I've lost people close to me! I had to give up my job and relocate myself, pick myself up and start my life all over again! Hence the reason why I joined fab when I found out about it! At the time, it was an escape from all the shit life has thrown at me in the last year! Hence the reason why I feel so disappointed with the experience that I've had here!
But seriously, how dare you make such a flippant remark when you don't even know me! Bollocks to this, definitely removing myself from this place now! "
If you go off on one that quickly no wonder people are blocking you.
Think you should just close your account down and move on with your life. |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
"Excuse me? How dare you acuse me of throwing my toys out the pram and say that I'm a stroppy teenager! You don't know me! You have absolutely no idea what I've been through in the last year! My life has fallen apart, I've lost people close to me! I had to give up my job and relocate myself, pick myself up and start my life all over again! Hence the reason why I joined fab when I found out about it! At the time, it was an escape from all the shit life has thrown at me in the last year! Hence the reason why I feel so disappointed with the experience that I've had here!
But seriously, how dare you make such a flippant remark when you don't even know me! Bollocks to this, definitely removing myself from this place now! "
. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Lol far from it! People block me or ignore me after I've been polite and respectful!
Look at this this way... This is the most conversation that I've had on here! It's taken all of this for me to get noticed! Out of all the polite, respectful messages that I've sent to so many people, the only time I get noticed is when I kick up a fuss and make a point on a forum! Sad ain't it! And that's what's wrong with society, unless you make a stand, you're just invisible! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ariel13: oh dear, another person who has completely missed my point! I'm not just talking about socials, I'm also talking about some people's unrealistic expectations! Please take a read at my last comment!!!! "
You mean, what they are holding out for is unrealistic so they should meet people that they aren't really interested in instead?! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ariel13: The following is a direct quote taken from someone's profile who I've just viewed, this is what this particular person expects: someone who can:
"Can accommodate and travel
Single
Can come when called or text
Can last and repeat
Will only reply if picture is sent of face and and the subject is naughty wife when sending a message.
If I do not see this then I will delete and no reply will be sent."
Now... I refer to the part about this person wanting someone who can" Can come when called or text". This person clearly expects someone to drop whatever plans they have and meet them whenever they call or txt!
Now do you honestly think that's a reasonable expectation??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Lol far from it! People block me or ignore me after I've been polite and respectful!
Look at this this way... This is the most conversation that I've had on here! It's taken all of this for me to get noticed! Out of all the polite, respectful messages that I've sent to so many people, the only time I get noticed is when I kick up a fuss and make a point on a forum! Sad ain't it! And that's what's wrong with society, unless you make a stand, you're just invisible! "
So instead of joining in on threads on the forums and getting known and possibly some form of meet or friendship, before, you waited until you were miffed about not getting what you'd hoped for, to start your own thread about said miffage?! This is very much a community thing... You either attempt joining it... Or you just spend your time trying to get laid.. If you don't do the first, the second, usually, becomes more difficult for most men... Whether they are average or an adonis, I'm afraid |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ariel13: The following is a direct quote taken from someone's profile who I've just viewed, this is what this particular person expects: someone who can:
"Can accommodate and travel
Single
Can come when called or text
Can last and repeat
Will only reply if picture is sent of face and and the subject is naughty wife when sending a message.
If I do not see this then I will delete and no reply will be sent."
Now... I refer to the part about this person wanting someone who can" Can come when called or text". This person clearly expects someone to drop whatever plans they have and meet them whenever they call or txt!
Now do you honestly think that's a reasonable expectation??? "
Why do other people's expectations bother you so much?! If it doesn't apply to you, move on... They may get what they want, they may not... So what?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is this still going on lol? An hour ago he was making a stand saying he was leaving.
I think you should have came on the forums and started to make friends rather than come on when you're annoyed that people's expectations are different to yours. You've probably got expectations of what you are looking for on here, everyone has I'm sure. Instead of wasting time dwelling on people who have different expectations to you move onto someone else or come on here, type a nice post or join in a friendly conversation instead of being so negative. Think positive thoughts and positive things will happen. If you blame everything else for the fact you're single it's not going to get you anywhere.
As the great philosopher Rocky Balboa once said "it ain't about how hard you hit, it's about how hard you get hit, and keep moving forward" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ariel13:
I'm trying to point out that people's rediculously unrealistic expectations only put up a barrier, making it impossible! I read so many profiles that clearly state: don't contact unless...
Therefore, this instantly limits the people who I can talk to, again, making it impossible!
And as for your comment about involving myself in the forums/threads. What difference does it make weather I chat on a forum or send people a polite, respectful message? Either way, I'm still putting myself out there and trying to spark up a conversation! And that's exactly what I do! I do not, repeat, DO NOT try to 'GET LAID' straight away! I try to spark up a conversation! And still, I get ignored, still, I'm invisible!
This is exactly my point! Even after trying to spark up a normal, friendly conversation, I am ignored! And I just don't get it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ariel13:
I'm trying to point out that people's rediculously unrealistic expectations only put up a barrier, making it impossible! I read so many profiles that clearly state: don't contact unless...
Therefore, this instantly limits the people who I can talk to, again, making it impossible!
And as for your comment about involving myself in the forums/threads. What difference does it make weather I chat on a forum or send people a polite, respectful message? Either way, I'm still putting myself out there and trying to spark up a conversation! And that's exactly what I do! I do not, repeat, DO NOT try to 'GET LAID' straight away! I try to spark up a conversation! And still, I get ignored, still, I'm invisible!
This is exactly my point! Even after trying to spark up a normal, friendly conversation, I am ignored! And I just don't get it! "
Dude! If you are not willing to take any suggestion..... I have met people from joining in the forums... They get to know you better than from a message... But what do I know, right?! And as for the barrier thing... We can't all be for everyone so just worry about the people that may be looking for you! I find that a really odd way of looking at that.
And the getting laid thing... That is your goal... People you contact know this so will probably only reply if they are attracted to you. Even if you are exactly what someone is looking for on paper, it still doesn't mean they will want to play with you, therefore won't get into a conversation if they don't |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ariel13: just reading back through the comments and I want to quote what you said earlier on:
"If you ain't brave enough to go to a social on your own, you ain't brave enough for my bedroom!"
That's a helpful comment... NOT!
and that's my point entirely! With an attitude like that, you're automatically shutting someone out before you even get to know them!
This is my issue, people instantly shut me out before they even begin to get to know me, which as I keep saying, makes it absolutely impossible to get anywhere with anyone, social or otherwise!
And as for not being 'brave enough' OK, I'm not the most confident person, but I can work on that. But there's more to it than that! You all seem to assume that I am able to just turn up and attend a social event! Well let me explain, it's not that easy! Given my current lifestyle situation (of which is personal and I am not prepared to go into) I am currently unemployed! This means that at the moment, until i find further employment, I can not afford to attend socials, what with travel expenses and spending money for the evening!
But of course, if anyone actually asked me why I haven't attended a social event, instead of just assuming that I've refused to attend, then you would have understood much earlier!
Not everything is as easy as you all may think. Some of us are restricted to what we can and can't do! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I make you right here !
2 socials this fella’s been invited to and still he feels hard done by .........
You have done great advise about photo’s etc yet your still pulling on harp strings MAN UP !! |
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So accept the reality of your situation and stop whingeing about it!!
Life is tough and it's what you make of it. But whingeing ain't attractive to anyone, and just because you're horny it doesn't entitle you to a shag!!
You're doing your cause no good by carrying on about this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I am currently unemployed! This means that at the moment, until i find further employment, I can not afford to attend socials, what with travel expenses and spending money for the evening!"
I understand, being unemployed myself with full time care of my daughter is hard sometimes. However, the next social isn't until 27th September, so by putting some money away each week I know I can afford to go. If I couldn't afford it I'm not gonna come on here and blame this or that for not being able to talk to women or go to socials. If I couldn't afford to go (I still might not, anything can happy in 6 weeks) then I'd still come on here with my head held high trying to make friends instead of coming on saying the sites crap, "women have high expectations" etc. Turn the negative into a positive instead of dwelling on it.
You've just got to suck it up, and take some responsibility. It's not the sites fault, it's not societies fault, it's not the women on here's fault, it's yours and yours alone. Now you can either do something about it or you can moan about it and change nothing except have people form an even worse opinion of you.
You've been given great advice by people on here and all you've done is put up excuses. Not once have you said "thanks for the advice, I'll try that". All you've done is blamed your failings on everything else, thrown a tantrum, told us you're leaving the site a few times and are still here. You're like a child who is attention seeking and you're getting the wrong kind of attention, but deep down you're happy with that because any attention is better than none right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People have given you an abundance of advice on here. You take it how you want. You don’t have to drink at a social. The Croydon one you can get a bus to it.
If you are that strapped for cash then maybe trying to get a meet on here is the least of your priorities. If someone said come meet me....how would you afford to get there?
You either thank people for their help, take it onboard and try what they have said....or completely ignore it. I guess we shall see what you decide soon. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all of us single guys feel comfortable turning up to a social event/club on their own. Especially when it's the first time, it can be very daunting! I've often thought about it myself but just don't like the thought of going in alone. It's not that easy for some of us. And this site has knocked my confidence to be fair! If I get rejected by people online, who haven't even met me or given me a chance, then perhaps I will also be rejected at a meet/club/event? I've considered attending Rios before but I've never gone through with it, based on the fact that the majority of people on here have knocked my confidence and enthusiasm! "
Sorry.... What was that about my comment not applying to you?!? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Go to socials
Go to clubs
May feel daunting, but getting outside your comfort zone is how you grow and develop in lots of situations in life."
This! We have all had to do it.... You seem to think you, or single guys, are the only one with obstacles to get over... You aren't! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So, what have we learned from the advice here?
As a single guy:
1. Don’t bother to email anyone because if you do, it’s likely to be ignored.
2. Put something in the forum, but don’t start a new topic unless it’s controversial and you wish flamed at every opportunity.
3. Visit a social with nobody you know and have never met, on your own, and “Man Up” about being apprehensive about being ignored- however you should mail the organiser and make sure they know you are coming - despite rule number 1.
4. Couples and women on here have too much choice so treat all single guys as fodder and set ridiculous standards to message so just ignore rejection and move on to the next.
5. When emailing, don’t even think about a copy/paste email, even if tailored to the profile because that’s a bad thing to do.
Have I summed up this thread about right? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So, what have we learned from the advice here?
As a single guy:
1. Don’t bother to email anyone because if you do, it’s likely to be ignored.
2. Put something in the forum, but don’t start a new topic unless it’s controversial and you wish flamed at every opportunity.
3. Visit a social with nobody you know and have never met, on your own, and “Man Up” about being apprehensive about being ignored- however you should mail the organiser and make sure they know you are coming - despite rule number 1.
4. Couples and women on here have too much choice so treat all single guys as fodder and set ridiculous standards to message so just ignore rejection and move on to the next.
5. When emailing, don’t even think about a copy/paste email, even if tailored to the profile because that’s a bad thing to do.
Have I summed up this thread about right? "
1) men who don't get meets and whine about it will read what they like into whatever anyone says so why bother... People are sensible, ignoring these men and sticking to the ones that are willing to get stuck in |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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OK then guys, I get your point, message recieved! It's my fault!
But then what about the people who have messed me around and wasted my time? Talking, arranging meets and then going cold on me, ignoring me and failing to go through with the meet that was arranged? I guess that's my fault too, is it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK then guys, I get your point, message recieved! It's my fault!
But then what about the people who have messed me around and wasted my time? Talking, arranging meets and then going cold on me, ignoring me and failing to go through with the meet that was arranged? I guess that's my fault too, is it? "
Everyone gets those.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So, what have we learned from the advice here?
As a single guy:
1. Don’t bother to email anyone because if you do, it’s likely to be ignored.
2. Put something in the forum, but don’t start a new topic unless it’s controversial and you wish flamed at every opportunity.
3. Visit a social with nobody you know and have never met, on your own, and “Man Up” about being apprehensive about being ignored- however you should mail the organiser and make sure they know you are coming - despite rule number 1.
4. Couples and women on here have too much choice so treat all single guys as fodder and set ridiculous standards to message so just ignore rejection and move on to the next.
5. When emailing, don’t even think about a copy/paste email, even if tailored to the profile because that’s a bad thing to do.
Have I summed up this thread about right? "
Sounds right and makes perfect sense to me.
However, point number 4? When you've sent messages to pretty much everyone who is in the local area and not had any response, how do you move on from there? There aren't many options left!
Point number 5? I could write a different, tailored message to each person/profile but that still doesn't mean I will be successful, as I feel most of the time, people judge you on your appearance and what you have to offer! Believe me, I've tried. I've been polite, friendly, respectful, complimentary, flirtatious, humourous and to the point. None of which has worked! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Here's a couple of statuses out of 100's of expectations that I see on a daily basis:
"Black Caribbean men only!"
"Hot athletic white men only"
Going back to my last post about expectations and being judged on your appearance and what you have to offer! This is the point that I'm trying to address here! Single, average white males are insignificant |
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"Here's a couple of statuses out of 100's of expectations that I see on a daily basis:
"Black Caribbean men only!"
"Hot athletic white men only"
Going back to my last post about expectations and being judged on your appearance and what you have to offer! This is the point that I'm trying to address here! Single, average white males are insignificant"
For equal opportunities, go elsewhere.
Trying to get a job would be a good start.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Ouch! No need to pick on my employment situation, as you don't know the full story as to why I am unemployed, as you don't know me!
Yet another typical judgement! My point entirely! |
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"OK then guys, I get your point, message recieved! It's my fault!
But then what about the people who have messed me around and wasted my time? Talking, arranging meets and then going cold on me, ignoring me and failing to go through with the meet that was arranged? I guess that's my fault too, is it? "
Believe me for every 3 meets we arrange only 1 will actually take place
We arranged a hotel meet 6 guys confirmed, by the day every single one had cancelled we were almost £200 out of pocket with hotel bills etc but that’s FAB for you, you win some you lose some
You’ll even get meets that are so bad you wish they hadn’t turned up, we’ve had our fair share of those, either 2 inch or 2 minute wonders
This site definitely isn’t for the faint hearted you need a skin of steel to deal with all the b*llsh*t that goes on
But then you’ll get that one good meet and you forget about the bad ones..... until the next time lol
I know it’s hard but in time you’ve got to learn not to take this site personally everything you’ve experienced has happened to all of us multiple times
MrsB |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here's a couple of statuses out of 100's of expectations that I see on a daily basis:
"Black Caribbean men only!"
"Hot athletic white men only"
Going back to my last post about expectations and being judged on your appearance and what you have to offer! This is the point that I'm trying to address here! Single, average white males are insignificant
For equal opportunities, go elsewhere.
Trying to get a job would be a good start.
"
Ouch! No need to pick on my employment situation, as you don't know the full story as to why I am unemployed, as you don't know me!
Yet another typical judgement! My point entirely! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's a couple of statuses out of 100's of expectations that I see on a daily basis:
"Black Caribbean men only!"
"Hot athletic white men only"
Going back to my last post about expectations and being judged on your appearance and what you have to offer! This is the point that I'm trying to address here! Single, average white males are insignificant"
These aren't expectations, these are womens personal preferences. I'm getting sick of this woe is me crap now. Are you staying or are you going? A few times last night you threw your toys out the pram and said you were leaving, yet you're still here spouting the same self pitying nonsense.
Yeah sometimes you'll send messages to people, think you're getting somewhere and all of a sudden they ignore you. That's life mate, you move on from it, it happens to everyone. A meet isn't set in stone until you are actually face to face with that person. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here's a couple of statuses out of 100's of expectations that I see on a daily basis:
"Black Caribbean men only!"
"Hot athletic white men only"
Going back to my last post about expectations and being judged on your appearance and what you have to offer! This is the point that I'm trying to address here! Single, average white males are insignificant
These aren't expectations, these are womens personal preferences. I'm getting sick of this woe is me crap now. Are you staying or are you going? A few times last night you threw your toys out the pram and said you were leaving, yet you're still here spouting the same self pitying nonsense.
Yeah sometimes you'll send messages to people, think you're getting somewhere and all of a sudden they ignore you. That's life mate, you move on from it, it happens to everyone. A meet isn't set in stone until you are actually face to face with that person."
You're getting sick of this crap now? Well guess what, you don't have to keep replying lol just ignore this whole topic then, no one is forcing you to participate lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Here's a couple of statuses out of 100's of expectations that I see on a daily basis:
"Black Caribbean men only!"
"Hot athletic white men only"
Going back to my last post about expectations and being judged on your appearance and what you have to offer! This is the point that I'm trying to address here! Single, average white males are insignificant
For equal opportunities, go elsewhere.
Trying to get a job would be a good start.
Ouch! No need to pick on my employment situation, as you don't know the full story as to why I am unemployed, as you don't know me!
Yet another typical judgement! My point entirely!"
So come on people, does anyone want to comment on this? I'm being made out to be the bad egg here, when someone has just commented about my employment situation! Yet another ignorant comment, assumption, judgement made towards me before this person even knows me and understands why I am currently unemployed!
This is entirely my point! People are so quick to make assumptions and judgements about other people! This is what's wrong here! I honestly don't understand why no one can see my point lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here's a couple of statuses out of 100's of expectations that I see on a daily basis:
"Black Caribbean men only!"
"Hot athletic white men only"
Going back to my last post about expectations and being judged on your appearance and what you have to offer! This is the point that I'm trying to address here! Single, average white males are insignificant
For equal opportunities, go elsewhere.
Trying to get a job would be a good start.
Ouch! No need to pick on my employment situation, as you don't know the full story as to why I am unemployed, as you don't know me!
Yet another typical judgement! My point entirely!
So come on people, does anyone want to comment on this? I'm being made out to be the bad egg here, when someone has just commented about my employment situation! Yet another ignorant comment, assumption, judgement made towards me before this person even knows me and understands why I am currently unemployed!
This is entirely my point! People are so quick to make assumptions and judgements about other people! This is what's wrong here! I honestly don't understand why no one can see my point lol"
Ahhhh were brave enough to comment.
If you don’t want people talking about your lack of employment then don’t say about it on the forum....pretty simple in my opinion.
People will make judgements on you everywhere in life....not just on fab!! |
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Dude, first thing you need to realise is that under Fab site rules "no reply = no thanks" You can not, and should not expect a reply from anyone.
Second, you say you've messaged everyone in the your area and had NO replies. You're deluding yourself if you can't see that the common denominator is YOU. Your profile is unremarkable and I have no doubt your messages aren't as brilliant as you think they are. A lot of people suffer from that here judging by the forums. If you think you're a decent guy you need to try the social approach. Of course it's difficult, but if the online approach isn't working, then that's your only hope.
You also need to walk away from this thread. You're doing yourself no favours whatsoever.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not all of us single guys feel comfortable turning up to a social event/club on their own. Especially when it's the first time, it can be very daunting! I've often thought about it myself but just don't like the thought of going in alone.
I know where your coming from
Due to go to my first social in 4 weeks time and I have already been warned by some couples I know to expect to be ignored. Because a lot of the people that will be there have known each other for years and they will have there own little click and if your not already part of it you’ve no chance of being accepted
I’m still going to go but not expecting anything and if it’s shit well I can always leave and at least I know I’ve made the effort
Its actually just as difficult for a single female going into a social on their own but you sometimes just have to do it, I have a few times and knew no one to start.... go with no ecpectations and let the organiser know beforehand you are a first timer and in most instances they will 'look out for you' once you have tried a couple you will never look back.
I have never been to an organised social where anyone has been made to feel like you said above, especially if there a few who already know each other. Myself personally have organised many many socials in london and heathrow and single guys are always welcomed (within a certain numberlimit) they are welcomed by myself and others alike ... you only have to read the veris on the heathrow social profile to see.
There are 2 socials coming up in the next 2 months in london and Croydon and both hostesses and regulars are amazingly welcoming.
Hope this helps
Rabbit "
Well said Rabbit  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No man can really give a man advice on how to pull women.
What I would say is honour yourself. You sound intelligent therefore build your confidence off of your intelligence. Treat your self esteem too there are a lot of people with low self esteem here we are not all perfect. good luck |
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Oh and not to mention the blatant racism.
And before everyone gets sensitive about it, no I’m not one to use that card in any way shame or form and hate it myself but you just have to look at some of the statuses and descriptions of some on here to see what I’m talking about.
Would only dare to imagine if some of the criteria that are set was reversed onto them
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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago
London |
"For a single guy this site is hard as according to some of the forums I have read single guys outnumber single ladies and couples by 20 to1 and if you can’t accommodate then it means you have something to hide however genuine your reason is.I too have felt like giving up and calling it a day however I decided to stay and changed my approach I have started attending socials and I am a member of club and I go to a non membership spa I contribute in the forums but only if I have something to say that may be relevant.I now feel a lot better about the site and I don’t take it too seriously.My advice to all you guys is look to attend socials and clubs show that you have social skills , manners be polite and respectful but never be pushy leave a verification and most times you will get one back."
Yes. This. Listen to Costas. Not all about arranging meets.
My view is that embracing the lifestyle is about being part of a community; not being a pain in the arse in the community. Anybody frustrated about anything on this site and the lifestyle is simply not having fun and that's not in anybody's interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For a single guy this site is hard as according to some of the forums I have read single guys outnumber single ladies and couples by 20 to1 and if you can’t accommodate then it means you have something to hide however genuine your reason is.I too have felt like giving up and calling it a day however I decided to stay and changed my approach I have started attending socials and I am a member of club and I go to a non membership spa I contribute in the forums but only if I have something to say that may be relevant.I now feel a lot better about the site and I don’t take it too seriously.My advice to all you guys is look to attend socials and clubs show that you have social skills , manners be polite and respectful but never be pushy leave a verification and most times you will get one back.
Yes. This. Listen to Costas. Not all about arranging meets.
My view is that embracing the lifestyle is about being part of a community; not being a pain in the arse in the community. Anybody frustrated about anything on this site and the lifestyle is simply not having fun and that's not in anybody's interest. "
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"This place is becoming worse by the day.
The replies and rudeness of some people on here would make u think they looked like J-Lo ????
Some people really need a reality check on here"
Do they have to look like J-Lo? Is a woman's worth equal to her looks? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This place is becoming worse by the day.
The replies and rudeness of some people on here would make u think they looked like J-Lo ????
Some people really need a reality check on here"
You sound bitter? |
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I 100% agree with you, their worth is equal to their looks... if not more. Thats exactly my point... if you read some of the descriptions that are out there, it seems like a mans worth is minuscule or non-existent with more leaning towards the diva-eqsue behaviour. |
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Well its a shame that its come across as though im bitter. Im pretty sure a lot of profiles on this platform would say the same thing. I am all for quality over quantity but again, if you read some of the female profiles out there and put the shoe on the other foot, you would be quite surprised. For instance, has to be of a certain height, weight, build.... can you imagine if on male profiles it stated 'You have to been a model and less than 8 stone, a regular gym goer'. Im sure there would be a lot of noise about this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well its a shame that its come across as though im bitter. Im pretty sure a lot of profiles on this platform would say the same thing. I am all for quality over quantity but again, if you read some of the female profiles out there and put the shoe on the other foot, you would be quite surprised. For instance, has to be of a certain height, weight, build.... can you imagine if on male profiles it stated 'You have to been a model and less than 8 stone, a regular gym goer'. Im sure there would be a lot of noise about this."
Oh it does say that kind of thing on men’s profiles. I see it often. I don’t ask for physical attributes, I ask for intelligent conversation as I’m after more of a mental connection. I do have a type look wise but sometimes deviate. I’m not after just a casual liaison so look for the same I would on a dating site. I can afford to be picky as I want much more than sex. |
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" ....if you read some of the female profiles out there and put the shoe on the other foot, you would be quite surprised. For instance, has to be of a certain height, weight, build.... can you imagine if on male profiles it stated 'You have to been a model and less than 8 stone, a regular gym goer'. Im sure there would be a lot of noise about this."
Everyone should be able to put exactly what they want on their profiles. If they want to meet a specific physical, racial, intellectual or gender type then that’s entirely up to them. It really isn’t anyone’s business but their own. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" ....if you read some of the female profiles out there and put the shoe on the other foot, you would be quite surprised. For instance, has to be of a certain height, weight, build.... can you imagine if on male profiles it stated 'You have to been a model and less than 8 stone, a regular gym goer'. Im sure there would be a lot of noise about this.
Everyone should be able to put exactly what they want on their profiles. If they want to meet a specific physical, racial, intellectual or gender type then that’s entirely up to them. It really isn’t anyone’s business but their own. "
Well said. It shouldn’t be a problem to anyone. If someone wants guaranteed sex, go and pay for it. They won’t have so many preferences then. Fab is fantasy to many so they can look for what they want. |
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"Well its a shame that its come across as though im bitter. Im pretty sure a lot of profiles on this platform would say the same thing. I am all for quality over quantity but again, if you read some of the female profiles out there and put the shoe on the other foot, you would be quite surprised. For instance, has to be of a certain height, weight, build.... can you imagine if on male profiles it stated 'You have to been a model and less than 8 stone, a regular gym goer'. Im sure there would be a lot of noise about this."
Unlikely. Try to start the trend.  |
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"I 100% agree with you, their worth is equal to their looks... if not more. Thats exactly my point... if you read some of the descriptions that are out there, it seems like a mans worth is minuscule or non-existent with more leaning towards the diva-eqsue behaviour. "
It was a question, not a statement. If you really think women who do not look like an actress or model are less of a human being, good luck meeting any of them. |
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"I only came back on to see if you'd actually seen sense yet and taken the advice you were given on board"
It's a bluddy long thread here, but I have to say what needs saying. Mike you have the perfect attitude of what a successful guy needs to have on here, never change it and I'm sure you will do very well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only came back on to see if you'd actually seen sense yet and taken the advice you were given on board
It's a bluddy long thread here, but I have to say what needs saying. Mike you have the perfect attitude of what a successful guy needs to have on here, never change it and I'm sure you will do very well."
Thank you, what a lovely thing to say, you're too kind |
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