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By *igharry OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
Hi everyone 
Im new to the swinging scene and have never been to a party or club. Im really intrigued by the idea but really don't know what to expect. If any couples or singles have been (would love opinions from both sides) id love to hear about your experiences and whether you liked it or not |
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Its a very personal thing. I met one to one for four years before meeting my partner. He had been to some clubs and parties so we tried a few, each one is different. Read their blurb and contact them, see what you think ... all the places are friendly, but each has a different vibe - we go to different places for different things, but you have to explore to find what suits you. |
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"your best bet in London is OurPlace4Fun on a Friday evening - it's terrific!"
Depends what you are looking for. When I asked about us going and me not playing, I was told my partner was a meal ticket - and was only with me so he could get into clubs cheaper. So its not for us ... we wondered if they stood behind couples who played separately timing them to make sure it was the same or if they only pressurised women in couples to play, and weren't bothered if men in couples played too, or if they could just watch. On principle I won't go anywhere where I feel I am being made to play - my partner does not make me play. |
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"your best bet in London is OurPlace4Fun on a Friday evening - it's terrific!
Depends what you are looking for. When I asked about us going and me not playing, I was told my partner was a meal ticket - and was only with me so he could get into clubs cheaper. So its not for us ... we wondered if they stood behind couples who played separately timing them to make sure it was the same or if they only pressurised women in couples to play, and weren't bothered if men in couples played too, or if they could just watch. On principle I won't go anywhere where I feel I am being made to play - my partner does not make me play. "
That's so weird. Normally only hear positive things about this club. I am going again soon with FB, hope they let us in as I only use him to get to clubs.  |
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"your best bet in London is OurPlace4Fun on a Friday evening - it's terrific!
Depends what you are looking for. When I asked about us going and me not playing, I was told my partner was a meal ticket - and was only with me so he could get into clubs cheaper. So its not for us ... we wondered if they stood behind couples who played separately timing them to make sure it was the same or if they only pressurised women in couples to play, and weren't bothered if men in couples played too, or if they could just watch. On principle I won't go anywhere where I feel I am being made to play - my partner does not make me play.
That's so weird. Normally only hear positive things about this club. I am going again soon with FB, hope they let us in as I only use him to get to clubs. "
Think it was because I make it clear from the start that I rarely play and certainly don't when I feel any pressure. Just struck me as weird - that both have to play or he would be treated as a single man - he is definitely not single .... |
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"your best bet in London is OurPlace4Fun on a Friday evening - it's terrific!
Depends what you are looking for. When I asked about us going and me not playing, I was told my partner was a meal ticket - and was only with me so he could get into clubs cheaper. So its not for us ... we wondered if they stood behind couples who played separately timing them to make sure it was the same or if they only pressurised women in couples to play, and weren't bothered if men in couples played too, or if they could just watch. On principle I won't go anywhere where I feel I am being made to play - my partner does not make me play.
That's so weird. Normally only hear positive things about this club. I am going again soon with FB, hope they let us in as I only use him to get to clubs.
Think it was because I make it clear from the start that I rarely play and certainly don't when I feel any pressure. Just struck me as weird - that both have to play or he would be treated as a single man - he is definitely not single ...."
As both owners are experienced singers, I would have thought that they would understand the pressure issue.
May re-think attending now.  |
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"your best bet in London is OurPlace4Fun on a Friday evening - it's terrific!
Depends what you are looking for. When I asked about us going and me not playing, I was told my partner was a meal ticket - and was only with me so he could get into clubs cheaper. So its not for us ... we wondered if they stood behind couples who played separately timing them to make sure it was the same or if they only pressurised women in couples to play, and weren't bothered if men in couples played too, or if they could just watch. On principle I won't go anywhere where I feel I am being made to play - my partner does not make me play.
That's so weird. Normally only hear positive things about this club. I am going again soon with FB, hope they let us in as I only use him to get to clubs.
Think it was because I make it clear from the start that I rarely play and certainly don't when I feel any pressure. Just struck me as weird - that both have to play or he would be treated as a single man - he is definitely not single ....
As both owners are experienced singers, I would have thought that they would understand the pressure issue.
May re-think attending now. "
I was really annoyed at the time - as we had a few people questioning if we were a real couple - on fab, not in real life - which was the weirdest thing - our friends, our kids, our families, no problem - but on here?? Maybe they will be upset if they read this, but its true, maybe they had had a spate of people pretending to be couples, but tends to be he is the player and I only indulge infrequently, but when I do, I do .... |
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"your best bet in London is OurPlace4Fun on a Friday evening - it's terrific!
Depends what you are looking for. When I asked about us going and me not playing, I was told my partner was a meal ticket - and was only with me so he could get into clubs cheaper. So its not for us ... we wondered if they stood behind couples who played separately timing them to make sure it was the same or if they only pressurised women in couples to play, and weren't bothered if men in couples played too, or if they could just watch. On principle I won't go anywhere where I feel I am being made to play - my partner does not make me play.
That's so weird. Normally only hear positive things about this club. I am going again soon with FB, hope they let us in as I only use him to get to clubs.
Think it was because I make it clear from the start that I rarely play and certainly don't when I feel any pressure. Just struck me as weird - that both have to play or he would be treated as a single man - he is definitely not single ....
As both owners are experienced singers, I would have thought that they would understand the pressure issue.
May re-think attending now.
I was really annoyed at the time - as we had a few people questioning if we were a real couple - on fab, not in real life - which was the weirdest thing - our friends, our kids, our families, no problem - but on here?? Maybe they will be upset if they read this, but its true, maybe they had had a spate of people pretending to be couples, but tends to be he is the player and I only indulge infrequently, but when I do, I do .... "
I get you  |
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By *igharry OP Man
over a year ago
Manchester |
"your best bet in London is OurPlace4Fun on a Friday evening - it's terrific!
Depends what you are looking for. When I asked about us going and me not playing, I was told my partner was a meal ticket - and was only with me so he could get into clubs cheaper. So its not for us ... we wondered if they stood behind couples who played separately timing them to make sure it was the same or if they only pressurised women in couples to play, and weren't bothered if men in couples played too, or if they could just watch. On principle I won't go anywhere where I feel I am being made to play - my partner does not make me play.
That's so weird. Normally only hear positive things about this club. I am going again soon with FB, hope they let us in as I only use him to get to clubs.
Think it was because I make it clear from the start that I rarely play and certainly don't when I feel any pressure. Just struck me as weird - that both have to play or he would be treated as a single man - he is definitely not single ....
As both owners are experienced singers, I would have thought that they would understand the pressure issue.
May re-think attending now.
I was really annoyed at the time - as we had a few people questioning if we were a real couple - on fab, not in real life - which was the weirdest thing - our friends, our kids, our families, no problem - but on here?? Maybe they will be upset if they read this, but its true, maybe they had had a spate of people pretending to be couples, but tends to be he is the player and I only indulge infrequently, but when I do, I do ....
I get you "
Any recommendations for a first time single male swinger? Il be happy to watch but will most likely ask to get involved (not rude though il always ask first) and only want to play with women.
Im a little lost with the convo... Do you guys think its a good idea to have a female friend accompanying me as a couple or would it be better to always go as a single man? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why don't you try Kestrels/Abfabs there's always plenty to see if not joining in. Pay on entry so no need for membership fees too which is always a bonus |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi Harry.
Sorry for taking over your thread.
I would say Eureka, while the sun is still out.
Rx
"
Totally agree, Eureka was the first club that I attended. The Wednesday night party is an excellent introduction, not too busy and no pressure. all for £10 you can't go wrong there |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
May re-think attending now.
I was really annoyed at the time - as we had a few people questioning if we were a real couple - on fab, not in real life - which was the weirdest thing - our friends, our kids, our families, no problem - but on here?? Maybe they will be upset if they read this, but its true, maybe they had had a spate of people pretending to be couples, but tends to be he is the player and I only indulge infrequently, but when I do, I do .... "
If you hadn't specifically asked OP4F it would never have been raised. There is an issue with people hooking up to get into clubs on a couple's night and then splitting up. AbFab has a notice up that men must remain with their partners. I think you being an active voyeur is play, but I can see that others might not.
On the issue of Fab people not believing you to be a couple I would not have thought of this myself until recently. I have recently discovered that someone has used my name and created a couple's profile. We are not a couple but he is someone I had met and verified. I assume he was able to pass this couple profile off on the basis of the cross referencing to our single profiles and the verifications.
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Very interesting about couples .. just struck me as weird that it was harder to convince people here than in the real world. I guess clubs are not so worried about men watching and women playing. I don't bother watching anything - so not a watcher - just don't always find something or someone that takes my fancy. We don't do abfabs either though, because of the number of guests who seem more on the margins of swinging and coming by on the off-chance. I know everyone has to get into it sometime ... but its a bit like a normal club in many ways.
How on earth would you find out if someone was making a couple profile with you ... that must have been totally weird. |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Very interesting about couples .. just struck me as weird that it was harder to convince people here than in the real world. I guess clubs are not so worried about men watching and women playing. I don't bother watching anything - so not a watcher - just don't always find something or someone that takes my fancy. We don't do abfabs either though, because of the number of guests who seem more on the margins of swinging and coming by on the off-chance. I know everyone has to get into it sometime ... but its a bit like a normal club in many ways.
How on earth would you find out if someone was making a couple profile with you ... that must have been totally weird."
I can't say how but I have made sure it has gone. I was incandescent and not in a the beautiful way.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If you hadn't specifically asked OP4F it would never have been raised. There is an issue with people hooking up to get into clubs on a couple's night and then splitting up. AbFab has a notice up that men must remain with their partners. I think you being an active voyeur is play, but I can see that others might not.
"
 this is it,unfortunately a lot of men take women along just for cheaper entry and leave the women bored whilst they go fucking about.
It's nothing to do with you as a couple but a blanket rule.
There is certainly no pressure for you to play just your partner is not allowed to unless you do.
You'll find quite a few clubs have this rule. |
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"
If you hadn't specifically asked OP4F it would never have been raised. There is an issue with people hooking up to get into clubs on a couple's night and then splitting up. AbFab has a notice up that men must remain with their partners. I think you being an active voyeur is play, but I can see that others might not.
this is it,unfortunately a lot of men take women along just for cheaper entry and leave the women bored whilst they go fucking about.
It's nothing to do with you as a couple but a blanket rule.
There is certainly no pressure for you to play just your partner is not allowed to unless you do.
You'll find quite a few clubs have this rule."
I have never been to a club that has this rule. Does it work the other way then? If I want to play, he has to, too? I doubt it ... to me, that is pressure - if he plays, I have to. I do at times, he does at times - and the logistics also strikes me as strange - how do you apply the rule. Do we both have to play to the same degree? For the same time? If I suck a cock for five seconds and he fucks someone for two hours - does that count? Its usually pretty obvious if a couple is a real couple ... |
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"
If you hadn't specifically asked OP4F it would never have been raised. There is an issue with people hooking up to get into clubs on a couple's night and then splitting up. AbFab has a notice up that men must remain with their partners. I think you being an active voyeur is play, but I can see that others might not.
this is it,unfortunately a lot of men take women along just for cheaper entry and leave the women bored whilst they go fucking about.
It's nothing to do with you as a couple but a blanket rule.
There is certainly no pressure for you to play just your partner is not allowed to unless you do.
You'll find quite a few clubs have this rule."
I started another thread on this ... and no-one else has heard of this being the case in clubs. |
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