FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Jealousy, do you feel it?
Jealousy, do you feel it?
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I sometimes feel jealous. It doesn't seem to last long though, as a new woman's attention is a miracle cure. It seems men and women get jealous over different things. Men supposedly get jealous over his partners sexual infidelity, whereas women get jealous over his emotional infidelity. Has it happened to you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get jealous. Normally when I read the ladies going on about you :D
Sometimes its fleeting sometimes its a bit deeper.
I dont think I could be a swinger tbh....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't get jealous, I would have done in the past, but I'm now pretty self-assured and accepting of my flaws. Jealousy isn't about other people IMO, it's about our own insecurities. When we stop comparing ourselves with others, those insecurities diminish. |
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"I get jealous. Normally when I read the ladies going on about you :D
Sometimes its fleeting sometimes its a bit deeper.
I dont think I could be a swinger tbh....
"
That made me laugh... I'm always wondering am I a Swinger or a libertine? |
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Jealousy isn't my thing at all but there was this one occasion when I was sitting in my van at the side of a rural road drinking a cup of coffee when I spied a horse in the field with a massive cock on him. He obviously spotted me as well but Jaysus, for a minute or two I was well jel!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a good question. I don't know if I get jealous anymore really. I think for me it's more about feeling like I'm not good enough for the man I care about, which is rare because I've worked very hard on my self worth. But sometimes, when its someone I feel very strongly for, I still get those sneaking insecurities. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a good question. I don't know if I get jealous anymore really. I think for me it's more about feeling like I'm not good enough for the man I care about, which is rare because I've worked very hard on my self worth. But sometimes, when its someone I feel very strongly for, I still get those sneaking insecurities. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suffer from jealousy and insecurities , I don’t think I’d cope very well with the man I love shagging Another woman so that’s off the menu lol
Madhatter doesn’t suffer from
Jealousy and has given me the green light to do whatever I please on my own with whoever I want , I just choose not to
MMF threesomes cool though |
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"Jealousy isn't my thing at all but there was this one occasion when I was sitting in my van at the side of a rural road drinking a cup of coffee when I spied a horse in the field with a massive cock on him. He obviously spotted me as well but Jaysus, for a minute or two I was well jel! "
Careful, the neighbourhood watch will be keeping an eye out for fellas staring at stallions.... Or gazing at geldings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get jealous, I would have done in the past, but I'm now pretty self-assured and accepting of my flaws. Jealousy isn't about other people IMO, it's about our own insecurities. When we stop comparing ourselves with others, those insecurities diminish. "
well said
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Think everyone gets jealous at some stage in their life. Just need to establish proper boundaries and move on. Fab life can be tricky, but if yer not happy in your own skin you wont be happy at all.  |
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I don't. At least, not for long. When it hits it lasts only seconds until I realise what's happening, accept what I'm feeling is valid emotionally but that's it, just emotional. I don't act on it, or dwell on it, but yeah, it stings for a few seconds and then I'm done. I've found letting myself feel whatever I need to feel and then deal with it is the best way for me, for me it works for grief and joy and compersion so why not let it work for jealousy.
I used to think I was feeling jealous when I was just envious, and that can last hours! But again, it is what it is and (again, for me) there's no negative emotion just negative reaction and action. |
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"I don't. At least, not for long. When it hits it lasts only seconds until I realise what's happening, accept what I'm feeling is valid emotionally but that's it, just emotional. I don't act on it, or dwell on it, but yeah, it stings for a few seconds and then I'm done. I've found letting myself feel whatever I need to feel and then deal with it is the best way for me, for me it works for grief and joy and compersion so why not let it work for jealousy.
I used to think I was feeling jealous when I was just envious, and that can last hours! But again, it is what it is and (again, for me) there's no negative emotion just negative reaction and action."
That's a great outlook. Jealousy and envy.. I wonder do I mix the two up? No, I'm hardly envious of anyone.. But that feeling you describe when I see/hear/read about another man having the attention of "my girl". That's jealousy.. Yep, you can just sit with it until it subsides. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't. At least, not for long. When it hits it lasts only seconds until I realise what's happening, accept what I'm feeling is valid emotionally but that's it, just emotional. I don't act on it, or dwell on it, but yeah, it stings for a few seconds and then I'm done. I've found letting myself feel whatever I need to feel and then deal with it is the best way for me, for me it works for grief and joy and compersion so why not let it work for jealousy.
I used to think I was feeling jealous when I was just envious, and that can last hours! But again, it is what it is and (again, for me) there's no negative emotion just negative reaction and action."
A+ for emotional intelligence here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get jealous, I would have done in the past, but I'm now pretty self-assured and accepting of my flaws. Jealousy isn't about other people IMO, it's about our own insecurities. When we stop comparing ourselves with others, those insecurities diminish. "
Yes I agree.  |
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"
That's a great outlook. Jealousy and envy.. I wonder do I mix the two up? No, I'm hardly envious of anyone.. But that feeling you describe when I see/hear/read about another man having the attention of "my girl". That's jealousy.. Yep, you can just sit with it until it subsides. "
Exactly! I see jealousy as a fire-breathing dragon sitting on a pile of gold. MINE! ALL MINE! NO-ONE TOUCH! It's closed and guarded and ultimately if let run away with itself it means no-one wants to get close to the mean old dragon |
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"In a swinging scenario it’s nearly always the woman who sees the red mist. Just sayin."
.
No,not true.. in clubs, I've seen reasonable, calm, sane, loving husbands turn into inflated lumbering silver back gorilla's because another silverback back sniffed "his" woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nah... jealousy is such a negative and destructive emotional response to something that is completely beyond one's control.
Just remember- She's not your girl, it's just your turn |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im not the jealous type to be honest and love seeing a woman enjoying herself! If im playing with a couple I always try to check in with both and take a step back at times for them to have some time, I think it makes everyone more open and comfortable like that. Plus I love pleasing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get jealous, I would have done in the past, but I'm now pretty self-assured and accepting of my flaws. Jealousy isn't about other people IMO, it's about our own insecurities. When we stop comparing ourselves with others, those insecurities diminish. "
That's deep Casey |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This may sound like a stupid question but is jealousy the same feeling for everyone?
Can someone explain physically how it feels.
(Female half of darknotgloomy) |
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By *etite_RosyWoman
over a year ago
Now in MALAGA (SPAIN) |
"This may sound like a stupid question but is jealousy the same feeling for everyone?
Can someone explain physically how it feels.
(Female half of darknotgloomy)"
Yes, I feel jealous time to time when see some women have bigger boobies than I have.
Also, jealous a bit if someone else cooks better than me 
Jealous in relationship? No. Why should I? We trust each other and love each other. We know how far we can go and this journey is for both of us not for one person only.
Oh! And time to time jealous that the same dress might look better on my sister (having bigger boobies than me) than on me.
I know we women are bitches to ourselves and it never ends  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So I'm not sure that I feel jealous. I have very recently felt lonely and left out (a communication error on both of our behalves I think) but I'm not sure if it was actual jealousy?
(Female half of darknotgloomy) |
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No.
And that usually means girls try harder to make me jealous, cause if you are not jealous you dont care. Which eventually makes me think "well they are obviously happier flirting around, so its time to break up"
Cause not getting jealous does not mean I am a doormat. |
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"Jealousy isn't my thing at all but there was this one occasion when I was sitting in my van at the side of a rural road drinking a cup of coffee when I spied a horse in the field with a massive cock on him. He obviously spotted me as well but Jaysus, for a minute or two I was well jel! "
You were jealous cos the horse was being ridden?? Was it bareback??
Fire. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No.
And that usually means girls try harder to make me jealous, cause if you are not jealous you dont care. Which eventually makes me think "well they are obviously happier flirting around, so its time to break up"
Cause not getting jealous does not mean I am a doormat."
I don't think that's true. Just because you don't feel jealous doesn't mean you don't care.
What it could mean is that we have and are moving passed socially constructed expectancies of relationship behaviours?
(Female half of darknotgloomy)
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By *etite_RosyWoman
over a year ago
Now in MALAGA (SPAIN) |
"I’m getting jealous of this corona lad. He’s been getting inside more people than me lately
Poor you BMan (hug) 
Virtual hugs only at this current time "
Of course. I do live about 2.5 hrs flight from Dublin, so definitely virtual hugs |
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"No.
And that usually means girls try harder to make me jealous, cause if you are not jealous you dont care. Which eventually makes me think "well they are obviously happier flirting around, so its time to break up"
Cause not getting jealous does not mean I am a doormat.
I don't think that's true. Just because you don't feel jealous doesn't mean you don't care.
What it could mean is that we have and are moving passed socially constructed expectancies of relationship behaviours?
(Female half of darknotgloomy)
"
Well I dont think jealousy = caring, and not getting jealous = not caring. However lots of girls do believe it. Mostly because they dated insecure guys in the past who got jealous and when alone would say "its just cause i love you so much", or some other horse shit, so now they equate the bad trait with caring for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So how do swingers/poly folk overcome the very deep engraved socially influenced feeling of being jealous?
We both still feel that one person can't give you absolutely everything you need in life and other people can enrich your world in many ways, but at the same time that horrible stomach clenching feeling of being left out or ignored (not in a kink way) is just awful.
(Female half of darknotgloomy) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how do swingers/poly folk overcome the very deep engraved socially influenced feeling of being jealous?
We both still feel that one person can't give you absolutely everything you need in life and other people can enrich your world in many ways, but at the same time that horrible stomach clenching feeling of being left out or ignored (not in a kink way) is just awful.
(Female half of darknotgloomy)"
I don't think it's got anything to do with social influence, it's about fear of loss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how do swingers/poly folk overcome the very deep engraved socially influenced feeling of being jealous?
We both still feel that one person can't give you absolutely everything you need in life and other people can enrich your world in many ways, but at the same time that horrible stomach clenching feeling of being left out or ignored (not in a kink way) is just awful.
(Female half of darknotgloomy)
I don't think it's got anything to do with social influence, it's about fear of loss. "
This makes sense.
However we are taught from day 1 that there is only one person for you etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how do swingers/poly folk overcome the very deep engraved socially influenced feeling of being jealous?
We both still feel that one person can't give you absolutely everything you need in life and other people can enrich your world in many ways, but at the same time that horrible stomach clenching feeling of being left out or ignored (not in a kink way) is just awful.
(Female half of darknotgloomy)
I don't think it's got anything to do with social influence, it's about fear of loss.
This makes sense.
However we are taught from day 1 that there is only one person for you etc. "
As one gets older and realises that relationships end but life goes on and if anything we get stronger, this idea falls away - that's been my experience anyway. |
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"This may sound like a stupid question but is jealousy the same feeling for everyone?
Can someone explain physically how it feels.
(Female half of darknotgloomy)"
I find it hard to describe a feeling with words. But, I feel it in my stomach, a sensation of loss, absence, emptiness, and an aching desire to get her back. Followed by self pity,.. Which then leads to acceptance, over time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how do swingers/poly folk overcome the very deep engraved socially influenced feeling of being jealous?
We both still feel that one person can't give you absolutely everything you need in life and other people can enrich your world in many ways, but at the same time that horrible stomach clenching feeling of being left out or ignored (not in a kink way) is just awful.
(Female half of darknotgloomy)
I don't think it's got anything to do with social influence, it's about fear of loss.
This makes sense.
However we are taught from day 1 that there is only one person for you etc. "
I've been single most of my life and the amount of "oh don't worry there's someone out there for you" well I don't know where the fecker is hiding |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I sometimes feel jealous. It doesn't seem to last long though, as a new woman's attention is a miracle cure. It seems men and women get jealous over different things. Men supposedly get jealous over his partners sexual infidelity, whereas women get jealous over his emotional infidelity. Has it happened to you? "
Do you mean Envy? |
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