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Soft swap definition
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong  "
That's what I thought too but I keep seeing more and more people saying they're into soft play only then stating they're not okay with kissing.
So it's okay to wank your other half off (don't mean you personally), but not kiss him?
What about oral? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong
That's what I thought too but I keep seeing more and more people saying they're into soft play only then stating they're not okay with kissing.
So it's okay to wank your other half off (don't mean you personally), but not kiss him?
What about oral?"
Every couple / person is different..the joys of getting the details discussed before the meet so everyone is on the same page and all are happy with the terms  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong
That's what I thought too but I keep seeing more and more people saying they're into soft play only then stating they're not okay with kissing.
So it's okay to wank your other half off (don't mean you personally), but not kiss him?
What about oral?"
Yeah we are soft swap and there’s no penetration with others, goes as far as oral sex basically. I find kissing intimate and romantic so we don’t kiss others , I don’t find my fellas dick in someone’s mouth intimate or romantic haha |
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong
That's what I thought too but I keep seeing more and more people saying they're into soft play only then stating they're not okay with kissing.
So it's okay to wank your other half off (don't mean you personally), but not kiss him?
What about oral?"
It's no fun without kissing . 
I dont think we could play and not kiss but that's just us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong "
Our understanding too...
It's very erotic and pleasurable without the pressure of getting straight down to sex... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong
That's what I thought too but I keep seeing more and more people saying they're into soft play only then stating they're not okay with kissing.
So it's okay to wank your other half off (don't mean you personally), but not kiss him?
What about oral?
It's no fun without kissing .
I dont think we could play and not kiss but that's just us "
Same here... we have soft swing on our profile but couldn’t imagine any play without kissing a good kisser is such a turn on! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong
That's what I thought too but I keep seeing more and more people saying they're into soft play only then stating they're not okay with kissing.
So it's okay to wank your other half off (don't mean you personally), but not kiss him?
What about oral?
It's no fun without kissing .
I dont think we could play and not kiss but that's just us
Same here... we have soft swing on our profile but couldn’t imagine any play without kissing a good kisser is such a turn on! "
You need a bit of kissing!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The broad definition is that it doesn't involve full intercourse. We've never bothered to consider the finer points of soft swap as it's not something that interests us, but I'm sure that as with most things, boundaries need to be discussed beforehand.
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I know a couple who enjoy full swap but no kissing. They say they like to keep that for themselves. Fair enough i think as they're clear about it. Its their choice. Im sure theres plenty that do kiss
I certainly wouldnt want a meet without kissing involved though. Thats all part of the connection for me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong
Our understanding too...
It's very erotic and pleasurable without the pressure of getting straight down to sex..."
This would be our definition too but as everyone is different and has their own boundaries it's something we'd discuss beforehand.
No kissing for us though and if that's a deal breaker then so be it |
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"For us it is no penetrating. However, anything else is OK, kissing, oral, fingers are OK. Just no cock in the pussy or ass - that's the only limit. "
Yeah that's the same limit my fwb and me stick too. Witholding can be so intense  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Very surprised to see the amount of people where kissing is a must. Everyone has their own rules and boundaries. I haven’t been with someone I find more attractive than my own boyfriend so I just don’t want to kiss them, Im pretty sure my partner feels the same. The guy might have a nice dick and have good skills etc and in most cases a nice attractive Mrs (who id gladly kiss) but I just don’t fancy them enough to kiss them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It seems a little insulting to me to suggest someone is ok to fuck but not good enough to kiss.
For us, kissing is part of foreplay. I can get that some people think kissing is an intimacy they want to save for their partner, but without it sex would be rather impersonal and awkward to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It seems a little insulting to me to suggest someone is ok to fuck but not good enough to kiss.
For us, kissing is part of foreplay. I can get that some people think kissing is an intimacy they want to save for their partner, but without it sex would be rather impersonal and awkward to me. "
Again depends what people are into...there’s people on those who want to Meet for coffee dates first , those who want to make a connection, those wanting meaningful sex, those who want to date, those who don’t want to date, those looking for regular play mates, those who only meet people once for sex and nothing else, those who just want the no strings cum and go approach, it’s not insulting, it’s preferences. I can appreciate Skills and pleasure and not find the person attractive. Everyone’s different , don’t take it personally  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It seems a little insulting to me to suggest someone is ok to fuck but not good enough to kiss.
For us, kissing is part of foreplay. I can get that some people think kissing is an intimacy they want to save for their partner, but without it sex would be rather impersonal and awkward to me.
Again depends what people are into...there’s people on those who want to Meet for coffee dates first , those who want to make a connection, those wanting meaningful sex, those who want to date, those who don’t want to date, those looking for regular play mates, those who only meet people once for sex and nothing else, those who just want the no strings cum and go approach, it’s not insulting, it’s preferences. I can appreciate Skills and pleasure and not find the person attractive. Everyone’s different , don’t take it personally "
I never take things personally, I just wouldn't want to have sex with anyone I didn't find attractive enough to kiss, it's an important part of the foreplay for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It seems a little insulting to me to suggest someone is ok to fuck but not good enough to kiss.
For us, kissing is part of foreplay. I can get that some people think kissing is an intimacy they want to save for their partner, but without it sex would be rather impersonal and awkward to me.
Again depends what people are into...there’s people on those who want to Meet for coffee dates first , those who want to make a connection, those wanting meaningful sex, those who want to date, those who don’t want to date, those looking for regular play mates, those who only meet people once for sex and nothing else, those who just want the no strings cum and go approach, it’s not insulting, it’s preferences. I can appreciate Skills and pleasure and not find the person attractive. Everyone’s different , don’t take it personally
I never take things personally, I just wouldn't want to have sex with anyone I didn't find attractive enough to kiss, it's an important part of the foreplay for me. "
That’s fair enough, each to their own I’m way more into the ladies than the men and more often than not the male counterpart isn’t as appealing to me as the lady I dont think oral sex is a big deal and I don’t like to leave people out of the fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It seems a little insulting to me to suggest someone is ok to fuck but not good enough to kiss.
For us, kissing is part of foreplay. I can get that some people think kissing is an intimacy they want to save for their partner, but without it sex would be rather impersonal and awkward to me.
Again depends what people are into...there’s people on those who want to Meet for coffee dates first , those who want to make a connection, those wanting meaningful sex, those who want to date, those who don’t want to date, those looking for regular play mates, those who only meet people once for sex and nothing else, those who just want the no strings cum and go approach, it’s not insulting, it’s preferences. I can appreciate Skills and pleasure and not find the person attractive. Everyone’s different , don’t take it personally
I never take things personally, I just wouldn't want to have sex with anyone I didn't find attractive enough to kiss, it's an important part of the foreplay for me.
That’s fair enough, each to their own I’m way more into the ladies than the men and more often than not the male counterpart isn’t as appealing to me as the lady I dont think oral sex is a big deal and I don’t like to leave people out of the fun "
I'm a committed heterosexual myself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong "
That’s what was suppose to be , but now a days cpl call watchin Soft fun ,, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us, we do touching and oral with others, but kissing is an expression of such a deep emotional connection that we don’t MF kiss another couple. She loves to kiss a female but somehow that is completely different.
Nothing to do with whether another couple is attractive enough to kiss, just a boundary of intimacy for us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kissing it’s an important ingredient, on soft fun recipe. Kissing and oral .. a good kisser a big turn on , even better then penetration , foreplay always better then penetration . Lov it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us, we do touching and oral with others, but kissing is an expression of such a deep emotional connection that we don’t MF kiss another couple. She loves to kiss a female but somehow that is completely different.
Nothing to do with whether another couple is attractive enough to kiss, just a boundary of intimacy for us. "
For us, intimacy is not defined by anything physical, simply by the emotional bond we share. |
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So soft swap is really full swap for female and only soft swap for male?
If im reading this right?
Ie girls can play fully with kissing but males only have a limited involvement?
Not a judging statement btw, just curious |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"For us, we do touching and oral with others, but kissing is an expression of such a deep emotional connection that we don’t MF kiss another couple. She loves to kiss a female but somehow that is completely different.
Nothing to do with whether another couple is attractive enough to kiss, just a boundary of intimacy for us. "
Why is kissing female to female completely different? Sure that's a nice example of double standards. |
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"For us, we do touching and oral with others, but kissing is an expression of such a deep emotional connection that we don’t MF kiss another couple. She loves to kiss a female but somehow that is completely different.
Nothing to do with whether another couple is attractive enough to kiss, just a boundary of intimacy for us.
Why is kissing female to female completely different? Sure that's a nice example of double standards."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us, we do touching and oral with others, but kissing is an expression of such a deep emotional connection that we don’t MF kiss another couple. She loves to kiss a female but somehow that is completely different.
Nothing to do with whether another couple is attractive enough to kiss, just a boundary of intimacy for us.
Why is kissing female to female completely different? Sure that's a nice example of double standards.
"
To be fair, he didn't specify that he doesn't kiss the Male of the other couple.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For us, we do touching and oral with others, but kissing is an expression of such a deep emotional connection that we don’t MF kiss another couple. She loves to kiss a female but somehow that is completely different.
Nothing to do with whether another couple is attractive enough to kiss, just a boundary of intimacy for us.
Why is kissing female to female completely different? Sure that's a nice example of double standards."
I wouldn’t into seeing my bloke kissing another bloke  |
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While we get the ethos behind some people’s thoughts on their boundaries, we are amazed at some reasons for ‘no kissing’.
We suppose intimacy can be a precious thing..... but so is full penetrative sex (including anal), but that doesn’t seem to be a problem |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While we get the ethos behind some people’s thoughts on their boundaries, we are amazed at some reasons for ‘no kissing’.
We suppose intimacy can be a precious thing..... but so is full penetrative sex (including anal), but that doesn’t seem to be a problem "
Yes, it's an interesting one, perhaps the fact that it's not face to face? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a criticism of anyone, but does intimacy become irrelevant to some extent when you make the choice to swap, soft or otherwise?"
For us, it would take away from the experience to have to start saying, no, you can't do this or that (unless of course its something you simply don't like or find painful full stop) but I'm of the mindset that if you're going to do it, embrace the experience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Not a criticism of anyone, but does intimacy become irrelevant to some extent when you make the choice to swap, soft or otherwise?
For us, it would take away from the experience to have to start saying, no, you can't do this or that (unless of course its something you simply don't like or find painful full stop) but I'm of the mindset that if you're going to do it, embrace the experience "
I suppose if there's boundaries being introduced for any of the people involved then it becomes more akin to a cuckold or dome/sub situation.. |
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"While we get the ethos behind some people’s thoughts on their boundaries, we are amazed at some reasons for ‘no kissing’.
We suppose intimacy can be a precious thing..... but so is full penetrative sex (including anal), but that doesn’t seem to be a problem
Yes, it's an interesting one, perhaps the fact that it's not face to face? "
And as long as nobody pushes back (or thrusts forward) then it’s ok |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Luckily anyone we have planned meets with have never declined us for the no kissing rule, so I’m so surprised about how some people are so no kissing no play  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Luckily anyone we have planned meets with have never declined us for the no kissing rule, so I’m so surprised about how some people are so no kissing no play "
Given that you've expressed that you dont find people attractive enough to kiss, I'm surprised that you would be surprised |
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We're soft swing ever since beginning, everything is fine except sex with each others partners. Kissing is down to the individual but couldn't imagine playing without it, plus we already keep the sex for each other and that's the most intimate part, not kissing, each to their own though! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Luckily anyone we have planned meets with have never declined us for the no kissing rule, so I’m so surprised about how some people are so no kissing no play "
The forum is only a small subset of Fab , Fab is only a small subset of the swinging world , there is someone out there for everyone and plenty who will match your preferences |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Luckily anyone we have planned meets with have never declined us for the no kissing rule, so I’m so surprised about how some people are so no kissing no play
Given that you've expressed that you dont find people attractive enough to kiss, I'm surprised that you would be surprised "
Not “people”....Men!! I’ve not been with a man I’ve been hugely attracted to.... I’m sorry but there’s a lot of very good looking women and their fellas are just not my type. I’ve kissed and been attracted to many many women  we just haven’t ever been rejected for it so that’s why I’m surprised that’s its such a huge thing. Suppose we are all in this game for different reasons. “Connecting” and “intimacy” is not something we look for when seeking a play mate. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Luckily anyone we have planned meets with have never declined us for the no kissing rule, so I’m so surprised about how some people are so no kissing no play
Given that you've expressed that you dont find people attractive enough to kiss, I'm surprised that you would be surprised
Not “people”....Men!! I’ve not been with a man I’ve been hugely attracted to.... I’m sorry but there’s a lot of very good looking women and their fellas are just not my type. I’ve kissed and been attracted to many many women we just haven’t ever been rejected for it so that’s why I’m surprised that’s its such a huge thing. Suppose we are all in this game for different reasons. “Connecting” and “intimacy” is not something we look for when seeking a play mate. "
I suppose it also depends on your definition of intimacy, ours isn't defined by physical interaction with others. To us it's emotional. |
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"We are soft swap and for us its no kissing or pussy play with other man, ff play is no limit.
We no it's not everyones definition of it but it's what we are looking for "
So what you’re saying is no guys, females only?
Or are we missing something |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are soft swap and for us its no kissing or pussy play with other man, ff play is no limit.
We no it's not everyones definition of it but it's what we are looking for "
Everyone has their own do’s and don’ts. Including us But not sure what is left for the guy if you do couple play? The other guy is not allowed to kiss nor pussy play. With pussy play, do you mean intercourse or any type of pussy play?
I.e. Does that mean he can pretty much only do nipple play?
Wasn’t too sure. But very interesting that all couples have different ideas of soft swing.
X
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I understand every one has preferences but if you aren't go to kiss me you certainly won't get to fuck me
"
I have to agree with this. Kissing is essential for me. No kissing then nothing else is going to happen it would just feel so weird and wrong. But each to their own I guess. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fully agree. Without kissing it would make it like a “quicky” without foreplay to me.
also being good enough to kiss someone’s lips between their legs but not on their mouth is a bit strange to me. But everyone has their own limits and how they see intimacy and sex within their relationships. Personally I would see oral much more intimate than kissing.
But ultimately for me kissing is a BIG turn on and probably a first sign to see if people are compatible in bed. If someone doesn’t kiss, then I would mis it for sure plus we would be less likely that we actually end up playing.
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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago
louth, Ireland |
"We are soft swap and for us its no kissing or pussy play with other man, ff play is no limit.
We no it's not everyones definition of it but it's what we are looking for
So what you’re saying is no guys, females only?
Or are we missing something "
No it's not female only, you could probably say it alot of voyeurism and exhibitionism mainly. We have played with males only and they definitely haven't complained with what they have got and done
It's a choice by both of us that we dont want to go to that limit |
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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago
South Dublin Area |
"I understand every one has preferences but if you aren't go to kiss me you certainly won't get to fuck me
This "
So if one of the hottest soundest guys on here wanted to fuck you, you would turn him down because he wouldn’t kiss you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand every one has preferences but if you aren't go to kiss me you certainly won't get to fuck me
This So if one of the hottest soundest guys on here wanted to fuck you, you would turn him down because he wouldn’t kiss you? "
Yes I would turn him down |
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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago
South Dublin Area |
"I understand every one has preferences but if you aren't go to kiss me you certainly won't get to fuck me
This So if one of the hottest soundest guys on here wanted to fuck you, you would turn him down because he wouldn’t kiss you?
Yes I would turn him down "
Even if he looked like David Beckham or George Clooney?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand every one has preferences but if you aren't go to kiss me you certainly won't get to fuck me
This So if one of the hottest soundest guys on here wanted to fuck you, you would turn him down because he wouldn’t kiss you? "
I’d prob try kissing him regardless |
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"I understand every one has preferences but if you aren't go to kiss me you certainly won't get to fuck me
This So if one of the hottest soundest guys on here wanted to fuck you, you would turn him down because he wouldn’t kiss you? "
Absolutely |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"I understand every one has preferences but if you aren't go to kiss me you certainly won't get to fuck me
This So if one of the hottest soundest guys on here wanted to fuck you, you would turn him down because he wouldn’t kiss you? "
Yes I'd turn him down as well don't care how hot or sound he is. Kidding is where it all starts for me if he doesn't want to kiss me it goes no farther. |
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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago
South Dublin Area |
"I understand every one has preferences but if you aren't go to kiss me you certainly won't get to fuck me
This So if one of the hottest soundest guys on here wanted to fuck you, you would turn him down because he wouldn’t kiss you?
Absolutely "
Dead to me xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I understand every one has preferences but if you aren't go to kiss me you certainly won't get to fuck me
This So if one of the hottest soundest guys on here wanted to fuck you, you would turn him down because he wouldn’t kiss you? "
Absolutely, kissing is essential. Wether you’re full swap or soft, kissing is foreplay and assures attraction. For us the intimacy is after the meet, the excitement of reliving the experience and being together, |
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I guess it would depend on the sensuality of the scenario.
If you're able to arouse another, without kissing, then perhaps it can be a joyous experience.
Obviously it is more difficult for most, as kissing is often seen as the introductory exchange before all else.
If you are able to arouse, excite and ultimately have a sensory, pleasurable experience without kissing then that is likely to be an experience to be enjoyed.
PS - I refer to kissing above as mouth on mouth.
I would assume that kissing everywhere else, possibly excluding genitals, is fully acceptable for soft swap. |
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"Can soft swap be more erotic ??
I think so! Everyone foreplays together and it gets hot and heavy ...and the finale is with your partner...  "
Yes it sure can be but great kissing is a must . We have had soft swap meets . Butt one particularly stands above the rest  .
It was all down to the kissing and how erotic it was took your breath away . Hours of fun was had in every way bar sex .
Kissing is a must full or soft swap
Mr dirty xx |
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By *exwaterCouple
over a year ago
waterford |
"Can soft swap be more erotic ??
I think so! Everyone foreplays together and it gets hot and heavy ...and the finale is with your partner...
Yes it sure can be but great kissing is a must . We have had soft swap meets . Butt one particularly stands above the rest .
It was all down to the kissing and how erotic it was took your breath away . Hours of fun was had in every way bar sex .
Kissing is a must full or soft swap
Mr dirty xx "
Kissing is a must have |
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"As far as we thought it was pretty much open to everything but no penetrative sex with other partners only full sex with your own partner . But could be wrong
That's what I thought too but I keep seeing more and more people saying they're into soft play only then stating they're not okay with kissing.
So it's okay to wank your other half off (don't mean you personally), but not kiss him?
What about oral?
Yeah we are soft swap and there’s no penetration with others, goes as far as oral sex basically. I find kissing intimate and romantic so we don’t kiss others , I don’t find my fellas dick in someone’s mouth intimate or romantic haha "
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Soft swap to me means no penetration.
It's been interesting reading everyone's thoughts on the 'no kissing' issue, and here's my tuppence worth....
If someone doesn't want to kiss me, they're not attracted to me, and therefore nothing else is happening either. Same if I'm not attracted enough to someone to want to kiss them, nothing else is happening either. Boo wouldn't dream of asking me to even 'soft play' with someone I wasn't into so he could play with their partner, or vice versa... Where is the enjoyment in that? How could one partner happily play with one half of a couple, when they know that their own partner (someone they love) isn't even attracted enough to their half of the couple to kiss them, but will go through the motions with oral, etc, just to participate? If someone can give a reasonable answer to this, please do, as I just can't get my head around it, but am willing to listen to explanations to gain some insight and perspective as to how it might 'work' for others |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Soft swap to me means no penetration.
It's been interesting reading everyone's thoughts on the 'no kissing' issue, and here's my tuppence worth....
If someone doesn't want to kiss me, they're not attracted to me, and therefore nothing else is happening either. Same if I'm not attracted enough to someone to want to kiss them, nothing else is happening either. Boo wouldn't dream of asking me to even 'soft play' with someone I wasn't into so he could play with their partner, or vice versa... Where is the enjoyment in that? How could one partner happily play with one half of a couple, when they know that their own partner (someone they love) isn't even attracted enough to their half of the couple to kiss them, but will go through the motions with oral, etc, just to participate? If someone can give a reasonable answer to this, please do, as I just can't get my head around it, but am willing to listen to explanations to gain some insight and perspective as to how it might 'work' for others "
Agree wholeheartedly with this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So it's ok to kiss and suck another man's cock but kissing on the lips is intimate. Personally it seems strange to us, just saying."
Yes, we admit it - we are strange!
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"So what I have taken from all this is that soft swap is a fucking mine field!
"
Yep, it brings out all sorts of fab quirks, it's quite amusing. Anyhow it doesn't affect me, each on their own as they say, but I'm not into soft, I prefer mine proper hard to sit and ride on. |
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"So what I have taken from all this is that soft swap is a fucking mine field!
Yep, it brings out all sorts of fab quirks, it's quite amusing. Anyhow it doesn't affect me, each on their own as they say, but I'm not into soft, I prefer mine proper hard to sit and ride on. "
Giddy up! |
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