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Monogamy or polygamy
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"Selective polygamy... I quite fancy being a thruple  "
infidelity is lust ,lies causes mistrust,I think polyamory works by your partner saying am meeting a old friend, we never ask questions live and let live and still enjoy life |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Many polyamorous couples admit to jealousy being an issue however they see the benefits as out weighing the negatives. And need to communicate very well.
Personally I would find it hard to balance jealousy and being polyamorous |
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I'm definitely monogamous, having had a polyamorous relationship (polygamy - more than one spouse - is not possible under our laws) that showed me how difficult multiple partners can be!
I think that while a lot of people in the kink and swing scenes practice polyamory, few are actually poly-oriented. My observation is that couples try it to fulfil needs that aren't being met within their relationship, and that ultimately ends their initial relationship.
Some people definitely can do it, but they are in the minority. |
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Some can have a monogamous relationship which is very nice to see,couples who've been together for decades.
Personally I think nowadays and as humans evolve,we are not meant to have one partner.
It's in our nature to feel attracted to men and women.
That's just my 2 cents. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I personally do not think monogomy works in most cases. Yes there are exceptions but especially since I joined here I can seee a lot of cases it's doesn't work. And no I have never cheated on anyone but was cheated on in relationships. But since joining here it has opened my eyes a lot and I see that things are not black and white. I'm single and I'm not looking for a relationship but of it ever did happen I would prefer a more open one. Where either side should play away as long as the emotional part was kept in the relationship. I don't think it has to be either monogomy or polygamy there is somewhere in between that I think personally would work better. |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"I personally do not think monogomy works in most cases. Yes there are exceptions but especially since I joined here I can seee a lot of cases it's doesn't work. And no I have never cheated on anyone but was cheated on in relationships. But since joining here it has opened my eyes a lot and I see that things are not black and white. I'm single and I'm not looking for a relationship but of it ever did happen I would prefer a more open one. Where either side should play away as long as the emotional part was kept in the relationship. I don't think it has to be either monogomy or polygamy there is somewhere in between that I think personally would work better. "
Imo that's a sexually open but monogamous relationship you're describing there. |
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"Some can have a monogamous relationship which is very nice to see,couples who've been together for decades.
Personally I think nowadays and as humans evolve,we are not meant to have one partner.
It's in our nature to feel attracted to men and women.
That's just my 2 cents."
Actually we evolved to have 1 partner, thats why everyone from native americans, to tribes in the amazon, to the western world have one partner.
Its to do with genetic disorders, having more partners actually spreads genetic disorders more rapidly. In a place in america where they practice having multiple partners, the whole population is under risk of collapse as one person has given the whole lot of them a rare genetic disorder, because he had babies with so many women that they are basically all inbreeding the disease now. Meaning he might wipe out several bloodlines, a feat impossible when people pair up and dont have multiple partners. |
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"I personally do not think monogomy works in most cases. Yes there are exceptions but especially since I joined here I can seee a lot of cases it's doesn't work. And no I have never cheated on anyone but was cheated on in relationships. But since joining here it has opened my eyes a lot and I see that things are not black and white. I'm single and I'm not looking for a relationship but of it ever did happen I would prefer a more open one. Where either side should play away as long as the emotional part was kept in the relationship. I don't think it has to be either monogomy or polygamy there is somewhere in between that I think personally would work better.
Imo that's a sexually open but monogamous relationship you're describing there. "
Which is something that I would definitely be onboard with. You love your partner and have strong emotional ties to each other but still have sexual feelings for others which you are free to engage in, as long as emotions do not raise their head.
Many are unable to do this, particularly when the sexual only relationship continues with a single other person though. |
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My partner and I ultimately would like to have a throuple relationship with another woman.
We've been chatting to a lovely woman for a while and are due to go on a date with her.
Watch this space.  |
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"Some can have a monogamous relationship which is very nice to see,couples who've been together for decades.
Personally I think nowadays and as humans evolve,we are not meant to have one partner.
It's in our nature to feel attracted to men and women.
That's just my 2 cents.
Actually we evolved to have 1 partner, thats why everyone from native americans, to tribes in the amazon, to the western world have one partner.
Its to do with genetic disorders, having more partners actually spreads genetic disorders more rapidly. In a place in america where they practice having multiple partners, the whole population is under risk of collapse as one person has given the whole lot of them a rare genetic disorder, because he had babies with so many women that they are basically all inbreeding the disease now. Meaning he might wipe out several bloodlines, a feat impossible when people pair up and dont have multiple partners."
More half understood pesudoschentific nonsense. Inbreeding in as a result if a shallow gene pool (few partners to choose from) rather than 1 person with a disorder and multiple partners. Bloodlines are not 'wiped out' by 1 person with a genetic disorder.
There is some truth in evolution favouring monogamy which is mainly down to a couples increased ability to safely raise human children together (as they are much harder to ralse than other species) though in the modern world this is much less relevant than it was. |
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Sorry.. typo central there.. trying again...
More half understood pesudoschentific nonsense. Inbreeding is as a result of a shallow gene pool (few partners to choose from) rather than 1 person with a disorder and multiple partners. Bloodlines are not 'wiped out' by 1 person with a genetic disorder.
There is some truth in evolution favouring monogamy which is mainly down to a couples increased ability to safely raise human children together (as they are much harder to ralse than other species) though in the modern world this is much less relevant than it was. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I personally do not think monogomy works in most cases. Yes there are exceptions but especially since I joined here I can seee a lot of cases it's doesn't work. And no I have never cheated on anyone but was cheated on in relationships. But since joining here it has opened my eyes a lot and I see that things are not black and white. I'm single and I'm not looking for a relationship but of it ever did happen I would prefer a more open one. Where either side should play away as long as the emotional part was kept in the relationship. I don't think it has to be either monogomy or polygamy there is somewhere in between that I think personally would work better.
Imo that's a sexually open but monogamous relationship you're describing there.
Which is something that I would definitely be onboard with. You love your partner and have strong emotional ties to each other but still have sexual feelings for others which you are free to engage in, as long as emotions do not raise their head.
Many are unable to do this, particularly when the sexual only relationship continues with a single other person though."
Frankly, I think it's nonsense to assume a person can carry on a sexual relationship with one individual for the long term without developing emotional ties. We are only human. Whether or not this damages the original relationship depends on the individuals involved,it may suit the primary partner to not have to constantly consider the needs of their significant other, especially if they have other liaisons. |
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A few people using the wrong term here.. polygamy is the (illegal in Ireland) practise of marrying more than 1 husband/wife. Polyamory is having a love relationship with kore than 1 person. 'Poly' being Greek for more than 1, and 'Amour' meaning love from the Latin. Both terms are more about relationships than sex.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It also sounds to me like excuses for cheating on your partner.
Cheating is when they dont know/support what you're up to."
Ah is that what cheating nowadays. |
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At least someone knows what it is. There's a lot of narrow minded, ill informed individuals out there.
I am polyamorous by choice as it helps to find people who are not controlled by their emotions. They have to be loving but not jealous. Giving but not expecting. Communicative but not attached. This is real love. Unconditional love. Not the Hollywood love bullshit.
I was in a relationship with three girls who all knew about each other. Not all of them were poly and there was a distance so it failed to work.
It's not about the sex. It's about communication, respect, true unconditional love, non attachment, zero jealousy, giving and no expectations. The sex is an added bonus.
Monogamy is like choosing a restaurant like McDonald's and being served by the same person for life. OK there's choices like nuggets, burgers and chips but it can get monotonous.
Polyamorous is like eating at several favourite places and having options to try out anything else that you fancy.
It's a deeper connection than one night stands. Ons is more about the sex.
We are social conditioned to be monogamous but lots of us fail.
I just want us all to be happy. Even those who think that this isn't a thing or we're stunting the gene pool. |
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"At least someone knows what it is. There's a lot of narrow minded, ill informed individuals out there.
I am polyamorous by choice as it helps to find people who are not controlled by their emotions. They have to be loving but not jealous. Giving but not expecting. Communicative but not attached. This is real love. Unconditional love. Not the Hollywood love bullshit.
I was in a relationship with three girls who all knew about each other. Not all of them were poly and there was a distance so it failed to work.
It's not about the sex. It's about communication, respect, true unconditional love, non attachment, zero jealousy, giving and no expectations. The sex is an added bonus.
Monogamy is like choosing a restaurant like McDonald's and being served by the same person for life. OK there's choices like nuggets, burgers and chips but it can get monotonous.
Polyamorous is like eating at several favourite places and having options to try out anything else that you fancy.
It's a deeper connection than one night stands. Ons is more about the sex.
We are social conditioned to be monogamous but lots of us fail.
I just want us all to be happy. Even those who think that this isn't a thing or we're stunting the gene pool. "
It's elitist bollocks to claim that only polyamorous people are capable of experiencing real love.
It's also bollocks to claim that there is no jealousy within polyamorous relationships. There very very very often is, it's one of the main challenges of non-monogamy, as anyone who has actually been in a non-monogamous relationship will tell you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Monagamy was brought in by powers to be kings and goverment as a way pf controling the people they rule over
It works for some people
But for the majority it doesnt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only being with one person for the rest of my life would be shit no thank you! I’ve been in an open relationship before and it is really hard to do it right with no one getting hurt.. I think the ideal would be a relationship where you put each other first always but have a little fun together with others sometimes as well Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Humans have evolved to be monogamous and most can't take polyamorous relationships."
We beg to differ, monogamy is, in relevent terms, a new concept amongst homosapiens
https://www.ted.com/talks/christopher_ryan_are_we_designed_to_be_sexual_omnivores/up-next?language=en |
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
"Only being with one person for the rest of my life would be shit no thank you! I’ve been in an open relationship before and it is really hard to do it right with no one getting hurt.. I think the ideal would be a relationship where you put each other first always but have a little fun together with others sometimes as well Xx"
That's called cpl swinging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a very interesting subject and most of the points made are good ones.
Our findings so far are that, we don't fit the poly rule book.
For us it's granting each other total freedom to have extra mental and physical connections with others. Whether that be for a night, a weekend or longer.
The only thing we both guarantee is that we are both entirely committed to each other but with total freedom given... |
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