FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > A genuine nice guy
A genuine nice guy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I do ask to meet singles and couples to go for a coffee and a chat and take it from there as whether we go further or not. No REPLY. What am I doing wrong ???? Would like to meet people for fun and friendship. That’s all. Not working.Not a time waster or a messer but still no response. Any body any suggestions??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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1. You say you're straight in your profile and only veris you have are from a bisexual man and a tv.
Personally I don't care when people do it, but general straight public seems to be scared of bi men and call it a "preference" not to meet them, just in case that no guy suddenly decides to seduce a straight man.
And bi public is afraid of other bi/bi curious people, who call themselves straight as going by their logic "what else are they going to lie about", "people should straight up be upfront about their sexuality".
Calling yourself genuine nice guy in an opening message or forum posts may irritate some people too.
Let others decide how nice and genuine you are.
Words "nice" and "genuine" are severely overused on this site and are slowly becoming cringeworthy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"1. You say you're straight in your profile and only veris you have are from a bisexual man and a tv.
Personally I don't care when people do it, but general straight public seems to be scared of bi men and call it a "preference" not to meet them, just in case that no guy suddenly decides to seduce a straight man.
And bi public is afraid of other bi/bi curious people, who call themselves straight as going by their logic "what else are they going to lie about", "people should straight up be upfront about their sexuality".
Calling yourself genuine nice guy in an opening message or forum posts may irritate some people too.
Let others decide how nice and genuine you are.
Words "nice" and "genuine" are severely overused on this site and are slowly becoming cringeworthy. "
What the Missus said 
Been a while since I said that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"yes very hard for single guys on here most couples willnot talk with single guys why do not know."
Maybe because a lot of couples aren't looking for single guys at All? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are nice and genuine, articulate, educated in the sense or manners and respect on Fab then stick to your guns. Why be anything else. Talk is cheap on fab but if it’s an honest approach someone will appreciate it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP we can all claim to be nice guys or god gift or anythig at all.
If you are a nice polite guy keep being a nice polite guy.
Some more pics might help people see if there is an attaction and if its worth mailing you back.
One public pics shows a certain lack of effort in some eyes and will put them off |
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"yes very hard for single guys on here most couples willnot talk with single guys why do not know."
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Have to correct you 
It's very hard for single guys here ...with lazy profiles 
bad pics and defeatist attitudes to get any response from couples  
Not having at go at you 
...but it is the guys who construct a half decent profile,
take tasteful pics and have a unique or intriguing ice-breaker
who get their messages opened, responses and possible coffee meets
Lads don't normally rock into a night club  with their cocks hanging out
and approach women with "Fancy a f*ck?" or "Passing past yours tonight..."
Same rules apply here! |
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"yes very hard for single guys on here most couples willnot talk with single guys why do not know.
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Have to correct you
It's very hard for single guys here ...with lazy profiles
bad pics and defeatist attitudes to get any response from couples
Not having at go at you
...but it is the guys who construct a half decent profile,
take tasteful pics and have a unique or intriguing ice-breaker
who get their messages opened, responses and possible coffee meets
Lads don't normally rock into a night club with their cocks hanging out
and approach women with "Fancy a f*ck?" or "Passing past yours tonight..."
Same rules apply here! "
This this 1000 times this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile dude.
It's bad. "
I've been told more than once that my profile is good, plus I'm respectful, friendly and can generally make women laugh. I still dont get no meets. People like what they like, plus the sheer amount of fella's on here means women can be very specific in their tastes and still find what they are looking for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile dude.
It's bad.
I've been told more than once that my profile is good, plus I'm respectful, friendly and can generally make women laugh. I still dont get no meets. People like what they like, plus the sheer amount of fella's on here means women can be very specific in their tastes and still find what they are looking for."
You have 7 verifications? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile dude.
It's bad.
I've been told more than once that my profile is good, plus I'm respectful, friendly and can generally make women laugh. I still dont get no meets. People like what they like, plus the sheer amount of fella's on here means women can be very specific in their tastes and still find what they are looking for.
You have 7 verifications? "
Group social |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Who people reply to is entirely there choice and anyone outside that has no say in it simple as that
Yea it's hard for single guys because there is so many more than couples or single girls but as has been said many times above, you have to stick in there, be sound and decent and you will get reply, clubs and meet and greets are a great way to meet people
Saying your 'nice' or 'genuine' immediately puts off a lot of people as they have received lots of abuse from guys who have both those words plastered all over there profile
Look at guys profile who are doing OK here and see what they have different, I'm not a good looking guy with a 6 pack stomach but I do OK here and yes 90% of the messages I send get deleted or never even opened but I just see them as me not being what they are looking for and move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your profile dude.
It's bad.
I've been told more than once that my profile is good, plus I'm respectful, friendly and can generally make women laugh. I still dont get no meets. People like what they like, plus the sheer amount of fella's on here means women can be very specific in their tastes and still find what they are looking for."
This is the truth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With various mixed gender kik groups knocking about at the moment you see more of guys through pics and chat, competition is very stiff op, even the ones you think wouldnt struggle do |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"With various mixed gender kik groups knocking about at the moment you see more of guys through pics and chat, competition is very stiff op, even the ones you think wouldnt struggle do"
Ah no Jack... we expect you to struggle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From dipping in and out of the forum for many years I personally think that although all the advice above is good advice it really boils down to one common thing for guys who struggle to find meets.
This is not always the case but I’ve observed that the majority of men who struggle to find meets here have joined fab because they struggle to meet people in everyday life. They come here thinking that it will be easier for them to meet people. Actually it’s a lot easier to go out on a Saturday night and find NSA.
Fab is perfect if you are looking for incredible experiences with likeminded people but you have to realise that women/couples have so much choice and not enough time to chat to everyone. Of course they are going to choose people who stand out. And often the guys that stand out are the guys that are not desperate to meet but come here to find unforgettable experiences.
Just my opinion. I could be completely wrong.
Another observation is that so many men try to be vague with their profile so that they cater for all types thinking that will increase their chances.
Actually I have found the more specific you are the more likely someone is going to see you as a match. |
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I think where a lot of guys go wrong on here is that they join Fab thinking the site will be sex-on-tap and full of 'easy' women all just waiting to fling their panties at them and lay on their back or get on all fours for them.
It's not like that. The same rules of social conducts apply here as in real life.
These men need to realise that the woman are actual persons and not just objects for instant gratification. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think where a lot of guys go wrong on here is that they join Fab thinking the site will be sex-on-tap and full of 'easy' women all just waiting to fling their panties at them and lay on their back or get on all fours for them.
It's not like that. The same rules of social conducts apply here as in real life.
These men need to realise that the woman are actual persons and not just objects for instant gratification."
Agree totally with above but at the same time offering a lady or a couple to go for a cup of coffee or a drink for people to meet face to face where they can sit and chat and get to know and see how they would get on saves a lot of text tennis. People can decide from a face to face meet which is more important than the perfect profile which could be a perfect work of fiction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think where a lot of guys go wrong on here is that they join Fab thinking the site will be sex-on-tap and full of 'easy' women all just waiting to fling their panties at them and lay on their back or get on all fours for them.
It's not like that. The same rules of social conducts apply here as in real life.
These men need to realise that the woman are actual persons and not just objects for instant gratification.
Agree totally with above but at the same time offering a lady or a couple to go for a cup of coffee or a drink for people to meet face to face where they can sit and chat and get to know and see how they would get on saves a lot of text tennis. People can decide from a face to face meet which is more important than the perfect profile which could be a perfect work of fiction. "
And how do women/couples choose who they want to go to coffee with? I’m sure most people here have very busy lives outside fab. Coffee with everyone is not an option. But maybe attending groups socials would work for you? |
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There are so many threads like this. And I don't have a problem with them as I posted one similar when I first joined.
I took on board all the advice given, made changes And got meets, attended m&gs and even organised one. I'm serious about joining in and enjoying this lifestyle. I rejoined 3 weeks ago after 18 mths away and I'm going to another m&g in a couple of weeks.
But when people don't listen and act on advice given I've no sympathy. You havnt changed anything on your profile since you posted this thread. 10 mins would make a lot of changes. Just saying |
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
"From dipping in and out of the forum for many years I personally think that although all the advice above is good advice it really boils down to one common thing for guys who struggle to find meets.
This is not always the case but I’ve observed that the majority of men who struggle to find meets here have joined fab because they struggle to meet people in everyday life. They come here thinking that it will be easier for them to meet people. Actually it’s a lot easier to go out on a Saturday night and find NSA.
Fab is perfect if you are looking for incredible experiences with likeminded people but you have to realise that women/couples have so much choice and not enough time to chat to everyone. Of course they are going to choose people who stand out. And often the guys that stand out are the guys that are not desperate to meet but come here to find unforgettable experiences.
Just my opinion. I could be completely wrong.
Another observation is that so many men try to be vague with their profile so that they cater for all types thinking that will increase their chances.
Actually I have found the more specific you are the more likely someone is going to see you as a match."
Couldn’t agree more. |
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I dont think the women on here mind being treated like a sexy bit of meat.
Its more about just treating them with respect. Like if you have 2 meets in a weekend dont come onto the forum and make them both feel like cheap sluts.
If you were to treat them like a normal offline friend then you would just spend your time being concerned that they were depressed that they were sleeping with a married man cheating on their wife. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are so many threads like this. And I don't have a problem with them as I posted one similar when I first joined.
I took on board all the advice given, made changes And got meets, attended m&gs and even organised one. I'm serious about joining in and enjoying this lifestyle. I rejoined 3 weeks ago after 18 mths away and I'm going to another m&g in a couple of weeks.
But when people don't listen and act on advice given I've no sympathy. You havnt changed anything on your profile since you posted this thread. 10 mins would make a lot of changes. Just saying"
This is true. It’s great to see threads where people take the advice. But so frustrating when people ask the question and then argue against the advice and make no changes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I dont think the women on here mind being treated like a sexy bit of meat.
Its more about just treating them with respect. Like if you have 2 meets in a weekend dont come onto the forum and make them both feel like cheap sluts.
If you were to treat them like a normal offline friend then you would just spend your time being concerned that they were depressed that they were sleeping with a married man cheating on their wife."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We almost exclusively meet single guys at the moment. But that doesn't mean we'll meet any single guy that messages us.
For us even to engage there has to be something that makes us want to interact. One cock pic, a profile that tells us nothing, and a claim to be nice and/or genuine isn't really going to whet our appetite.
Then assuming we are interested from the message a guy sends and a profile that ostensibly looks good there still has to be attraction. And personally we'd want to establish that there is an attraction before we'd even meet for coffee. We both work, we both have activities that take us out separately several evenings a week, and children who require our attention too. We simply don't have time to waltz off for multiple social meets with countless people that we just may not find attractive...or indeed find us attractive. If someone isn't similarly prepared to put the legwork in before then it's unlikely we'll ever meet them.
If you want people to give you a chance give them something to work with and understand that what you perceive as a perfectly good way to go about things won't necessarily work for others
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"From dipping in and out of the forum for many years I personally think that although all the advice above is good advice it really boils down to one common thing for guys who struggle to find meets.
This is not always the case but I’ve observed that the majority of men who struggle to find meets here have joined fab because they struggle to meet people in everyday life. They come here thinking that it will be easier for them to meet people. Actually it’s a lot easier to go out on a Saturday night and find NSA.
Fab is perfect if you are looking for incredible experiences with likeminded people but you have to realise that women/couples have so much choice and not enough time to chat to everyone. Of course they are going to choose people who stand out. And often the guys that stand out are the guys that are not desperate to meet but come here to find unforgettable experiences.
Just my opinion. I could be completely wrong.
Another observation is that so many men try to be vague with their profile so that they cater for all types thinking that will increase their chances.
Actually I have found the more specific you are the more likely someone is going to see you as a match."
Nutshelled it! |
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"I think where a lot of guys go wrong on here is that they join Fab thinking the site will be sex-on-tap and full of 'easy' women all just waiting to fling their panties at them and lay on their back or get on all fours for them.
It's not like that. The same rules of social conducts apply here as in real life.
These men need to realise that the woman are actual persons and not just objects for instant gratification.
Agree totally with above but at the same time offering a lady or a couple to go for a cup of coffee or a drink for people to meet face to face where they can sit and chat and get to know and see how they would get on saves a lot of text tennis. People can decide from a face to face meet which is more important than the perfect profile which could be a perfect work of fiction. "
The problem with this is... Women and many couples get offers of coffee on an almost hourly basis on here, so most of us won't say yes unless we already feel some chemistry and rapport from chatting. While you might see it as a time saver to just mail someone cold and ask them out for coffee without chatting a while first, in actuality you're putting yourself to the bottom of the coffee pile, because they're far more likely to meet someone who has sparked their interest with a bit of banter or upon discovering that you've something in common over the course of a conversation.
It's the difference between the guy at the disco whom you just ended up chatting away with and flirting a little, and maybe he wasn't who you originally planned to run into that night, but by the time the slow set came round you were quite charmed and actually hoping he would ask you to dance... and the guy who just waited until the slow set came on to go from table to table, asking each girl in turn if she wanted to dance, and getting no response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think where a lot of guys go wrong on here is that they join Fab thinking the site will be sex-on-tap and full of 'easy' women all just waiting to fling their panties at them and lay on their back or get on all fours for them.
It's not like that. The same rules of social conducts apply here as in real life.
These men need to realise that the woman are actual persons and not just objects for instant gratification.
Agree totally with above but at the same time offering a lady or a couple to go for a cup of coffee or a drink for people to meet face to face where they can sit and chat and get to know and see how they would get on saves a lot of text tennis. People can decide from a face to face meet which is more important than the perfect profile which could be a perfect work of fiction.
The problem with this is... Women and many couples get offers of coffee on an almost hourly basis on here, so most of us won't say yes unless we already feel some chemistry and rapport from chatting. While you might see it as a time saver to just mail someone cold and ask them out for coffee without chatting a while first, in actuality you're putting yourself to the bottom of the coffee pile, because they're far more likely to meet someone who has sparked their interest with a bit of banter or upon discovering that you've something in common over the course of a conversation.
It's the difference between the guy at the disco whom you just ended up chatting away with and flirting a little, and maybe he wasn't who you originally planned to run into that night, but by the time the slow set came round you were quite charmed and actually hoping he would ask you to dance... and the guy who just waited until the slow set came on to go from table to table, asking each girl in turn if she wanted to dance, and getting no response. "
Love the disco example. Nailed it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sean be pacient . Go whit the flow . Work on you’re profile ,and wait for you’re time to come .. u can’t be anyone’s cupcake . And usually we don’t find the cpls, they find us, and that in case they like us/our pics o profile. Singles don’t do the rules here ,cpls do it , here and out there in real life... u will find it easy to get on whit a cpl at a swingers club o M&g.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I do ask to meet singles and couples to go for a coffee and a chat and take it from there as whether we go further or not. No REPLY. What am I doing wrong ???? Would like to meet people for fun and friendship. That’s all. Not working.Not a time waster or a messer but still no response. Any body any suggestions???"
. Sean hope u won’t minde me saing , but you’re profile doesn’t help at all , ar u interested on a new single girl profile whit no pics and no description? Whit noting on to catch you’re attention ? I don’t think so ,,,,, we can’t aspect a lote whitout doing any effort .. and that’s the true ....
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