FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > How to avoid being stood up?
How to avoid being stood up?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So a lot of people are time wasters here with no intentions of meeting. We were chatting with a gentleman and when he was informed that we were assessing our options and creating back up plans incase someone didnt show he threw his toys out of the pram and got cheeky. My question is whats the best way to make sure we avoid these idiots and how can we make sure to always have a plan A, B & C? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd say not telling the guy you are arranging a meet with, that you are making back up plans incase things don't work out with him.
Sounds to me like you where being the cheaky one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say not telling the guy you are arranging a meet with, that you are making back up plans incase things don't work out with him.
Sounds to me like you where being the cheaky one."
Well said! |
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I'm also curious, if the first guy does turn up, what do you tell Guy B or C.
Vet your meets, meet them for coffee and I cant see there being a problem,its also a shitty way to behave towards B n C I think, to expect them to hi e up free time so you can have a plan B, is your time more valuable than theres? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well very simply put we would organise it in a way that these people are in lets say a 2km location of where we are so as not to make anyone travel for nothing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So a lot of people are time wasters here with no intentions of meeting. We were chatting with a gentleman and when he was informed that we were assessing our options and creating back up plans incase someone didnt show he threw his toys out of the pram and got cheeky. My question is whats the best way to make sure we avoid these idiots and how can we make sure to always have a plan A, B & C? "
Well...tbh ..you virtually told him he was or could be in the possible " timewasters " category by telling him you were making back up plans in case he didn't show up, hardly the stuff of reassuring anyone ,so he went from being someone you were going to meet to being an idiot to avoid in less than a few sentences,and no ,l'm not getting feelings involved here ,l realise exactly what this site is all about but wether it is the site it is or not , a small bit of consideration and respect is never out of place ,the majority of people here have been stung by timewasters and string a longers, and even if you were planning to make alternative arrangements just in case of a no show ...1. you don't tell the first person you're intending to meet...2.you arrange the other meet an hour later so it gives all other parties a better chance if required... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why is it these foruns are always filled with the best fab has to offer... regret posting anything now, wheres the vomit emoji when you need it"
There's nothing wrong with posting on the forums ..it's just not everyone sees things the same way and there are times people give replies that may not be anything like what one would have invisaged , everyone on the forums just gives their point of view..and everyone had their own perspective on things,nothing more , nothin' less. |
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"I'd say not telling the guy you are arranging a meet with, that you are making back up plans incase things don't work out with him.
Sounds to me like you where being the cheaky one."
I'm afraid that was my first thought too... Sure, make contingency plans if you feel you need to, but keep it to yourself. I can see why someone would be offended at someone calling their character into question and assuming that they won't show or won't be able to perform. We all know what Fab can be like, and that some can be unreliable, but for the person you were supposed to meet, you were making a direct insult on their character. That's the difference. Or that's how I would see it if someone said that to me. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I'd say not telling the guy you are arranging a meet with, that you are making back up plans incase things don't work out with him.
Sounds to me like you where being the cheaky one.
I'm afraid that was my first thought too... Sure, make contingency plans if you feel you need to, but keep it to yourself. I can see why someone would be offended at someone calling their character into question and assuming that they won't show or won't be able to perform. We all know what Fab can be like, and that some can be unreliable, but for the person you were supposed to meet, you were making a direct insult on their character. That's the difference. Or that's how I would see it if someone said that to me.
I agree with this. If someone said this to me I wouldn't be too happy either. But each to their own I also wouldn't be too happy to know if be a back up plan. |
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Well I’d be annoyed if I arranged a meet with a woman on here and she also has a stand in waiting just in case,I’d never stand anybody up and I’m sure this isn’t the case for all folks on here,if I arrange I’ll show up no doubt no excuses |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
There many ways to make sure you've arranged a reliable meet ie decent amount of meet veris, cam chat, coffee meet, gut feeling, using your brain etc.
But always remember treat others the way you like to be treated! It's not a one way game. |
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You didn't have to reveal you had a plan B. Because of that you've lost your plan A. But, all you have to do now is put plan B into effect. That's what planning is for. I understand your feelings are hurt, but it's only sex. No need to feel bad about it. |
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"So a lot of people are time wasters here with no intentions of meeting. We were chatting with a gentleman and when he was informed that we were assessing our options and creating back up plans incase someone didnt show he threw his toys out of the pram and got cheeky. My question is whats the best way to make sure we avoid these idiots and how can we make sure to always have a plan A, B & C? "
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I've found that if you & your potential playmate have mutual friends on FAB, there's less chance of being stood up  Of course, that's no guarantee, but have found it helps meet more dependable Fabbers...
Re: your situation...
...No single man wants to be the "B Side" i.e. a couple are calling you asking if you can come over in the next hour as their first choice hasn't shown up or "Can you be on standby just in case choice A doesn't show?" 
So that's not really fair either to any self respecting single guy here 
So, I guess it's up to each of us to chat more, read between the lines
(i.e. is he  or she  married, playing offside and not telling you),
suss out the other person & maybe even exchange phone numbers...
In a nutshell, get to know the person you'll be sharing your bed with a bit better!!
 |
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By *adylaceWoman
over a year ago
Waterford City |
I’m also on the single guys side this time. Yes there are a lot of timewasters out there. But I’m a firm believer in treating people with the same respect as I would expect.
I find the best way to avoid timewasters is to get to socials/ meet and greets or club nights. You get to meet lots of lovely people and take it from there. |
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I have a meet planned for this evening with a couple, i have a feeling they will not show. But its ok, because I have you guys as my plan B...... Sorry plan C. there is another couple that aren't as good as couple A but will do for a second choice.
So you guys would be lucky couple C if you are interested
Don't mean to be sarcastic, it just comes out, i have no control.
If you guys were preparing for a meet with a guy and he cancelled last minute saying his first choice turned up, i can't imagine you saying "That's ok, that's fair enough"
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"Why is it these foruns are always filled with the best fab has to offer... regret posting anything now, wheres the vomit emoji when you need it"
Pot.kettle.black??????
Are those your toys scattered around the floor? |
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Ya have to love the forums, how unpredictable they are, a couple whips together a post slating single males and expecting White Knights but the Calvery arrive in force to attack.
Reminds me of the scene in Braveheart where the Irish troops defected |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tough being a single guy without being strung along as a backup! To be fair I doubt the OP is alone in the practice but not a nice way to behave. In fairness neither is letting someone down but you win some you lose some block and move on. Plenty of us single males to go around! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ya have to love the forums, how unpredictable they are, a couple whips together a post slating single males and expecting White Knights but the Calvery arrive in force to attack.
Reminds me of the scene in Braveheart where the Irish troops defected"
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I'm glad that this thread went gone up and a genuine thanks to Op for being upfront & honest about what some other Fabbers have been doing all along covertly...
Lesson learned here is about respecting singles who might not have the chance of getting as many meets as you especially if you're in a couple
Also, it's endearing to seeing a lot of single men having self respect & not settling for second best or to "be on standby"
There's hope for some of you FAB feckers yet!
GO ON DA BOYZ!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad that this thread went gone up and a genuine thanks to Op for being upfront & honest about what some other Fabbers have been doing all along covertly...
Lesson learned here is about respecting singles who might not have the chance of getting as many meets as you especially if you're in a couple
Also, it's endearing to seeing a lot of single men having self respect & not settling for second best or to "be on standby"
There's hope for some of you FAB feckers yet!
GO ON DA BOYZ!!!
"
Ah Timmy most of the men would take been tenth choice if they thought they might get the ride.Not me and you because we have standards. |
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"I'm glad that this thread went gone up and a genuine thanks to Op for being upfront & honest about what some other Fabbers have been doing all along covertly...
Lesson learned here is about respecting singles who might not have the chance of getting as many meets as you especially if you're in a couple
Also, it's endearing to seeing a lot of single men having self respect & not settling for second best or to "be on standby"
There's hope for some of you FAB feckers yet!
GO ON DA BOYZ!!!
Ah Timmy most of the men would take been tenth choice if they thought they might get the ride.Not me and you because we have standards."
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"Me and you"
GOOD ONE MAN!!!!
 |
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I have actually turned up at a couples house only to find out I was THE plan B. At least they had the decency to let me in and apologise ( in the kitchen). The other guy was next door in the lounge having a wee drink. I left without looking back . They are one of THE fab couples who go to all the M & Gs in the north. But to me they are up themselves timewasters |
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Would never DREAM of having a backup meet planned in case of a no show...its poor form to expect someone to wait in the wings not knowing if they get a go or not, and it shows a massive lack of faith in the first choice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't book accommodation until they show up. Find somewhere with lots of availability and have a coffee take it from there. Verifications help but had great non veris mets show up as promised. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say not telling the guy you are arranging a meet with, that you are making back up plans incase things don't work out with him.
Sounds to me like you where being the cheaky one.
I'm afraid that was my first thought too... Sure, make contingency plans if you feel you need to, but keep it to yourself. I can see why someone would be offended at someone calling their character into question and assuming that they won't show or won't be able to perform. We all know what Fab can be like, and that some can be unreliable, but for the person you were supposed to meet, you were making a direct insult on their character. That's the difference. Or that's how I would see it if someone said that to me.
I agree with this. If someone said this to me I wouldn't be too happy either. But each to their own I also wouldn't be too happy to know if be a back up plan. "
This all day long |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say not telling the guy you are arranging a meet with, that you are making back up plans incase things don't work out with him.
Sounds to me like you where being the cheaky one."
I 100% agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd say not telling the guy you are arranging a meet with, that you are making back up plans incase things don't work out with him.
Sounds to me like you where being the cheaky one.
I'm afraid that was my first thought too... Sure, make contingency plans if you feel you need to, but keep it to yourself. I can see why someone would be offended at someone calling their character into question and assuming that they won't show or won't be able to perform. We all know what Fab can be like, and that some can be unreliable, but for the person you were supposed to meet, you were making a direct insult on their character. That's the difference. Or that's how I would see it if someone said that to me.
I agree with this. If someone said this to me I wouldn't be too happy either. But each to their own I also wouldn't be too happy to know if be a back up plan. This all day long "
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe.... just maybe... be very careful with picking who you chat to, treat people you're chatting to like a person and a human being and not some spare cock who's only job is to turn up and be hard.
Works for me. 98% attendance. |
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"Maybe.... just maybe... be very careful with picking who you chat to, treat people you're chatting to like a person and a human being and not some spare cock who's only job is to turn up and be hard.
Works for me. 98% attendance. "
Are you running Fab night classes? 
"98% attendance" sounds very good, your "students" must "love" you ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe.... just maybe... be very careful with picking who you chat to, treat people you're chatting to like a person and a human being and not some spare cock who's only job is to turn up and be hard.
Works for me. 98% attendance.
Are you running Fab night classes?
"98% attendance" sounds very good, your "students" must "love" you ! "
Thinking about it. Think a lot could do with extra education on how not to be a dick |
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"Maybe.... just maybe... be very careful with picking who you chat to, treat people you're chatting to like a person and a human being and not some spare cock who's only job is to turn up and be hard.
Works for me. 98% attendance.
Are you running Fab night classes?
"98% attendance" sounds very good, your "students" must "love" you !
Thinking about it. Think a lot could do with extra education on how not to be a dick "
Oh, I am afraid the class would have to be a "mixed class"!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe.... just maybe... be very careful with picking who you chat to, treat people you're chatting to like a person and a human being and not some spare cock who's only job is to turn up and be hard.
Works for me. 98% attendance.
Are you running Fab night classes?
"98% attendance" sounds very good, your "students" must "love" you !
Thinking about it. Think a lot could do with extra education on how not to be a dick
Oh, I am afraid the class would have to be a "mixed class"! "
I never said it wouldn't be... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe.... just maybe... be very careful with picking who you chat to, treat people you're chatting to like a person and a human being and not some spare cock who's only job is to turn up and be hard.
Works for me. 98% attendance. "
With the same approach, we've never been stood up. You tend to get back what you put out in this life |
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By *scouple07Couple
over a year ago
louth, Ireland |
"So a lot of people are time wasters here with no intentions of meeting. We were chatting with a gentleman and when he was informed that we were assessing our options and creating back up plans incase someone didnt show he threw his toys out of the pram and got cheeky. My question is whats the best way to make sure we avoid these idiots and how can we make sure to always have a plan A, B & C? "
Why tell him your planning a back up? If someone told us that we would say well f##k you then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe.... just maybe... be very careful with picking who you chat to, treat people you're chatting to like a person and a human being and not some spare cock who's only job is to turn up and be hard.
Works for me. 98% attendance.
With the same approach, we've never been stood up. You tend to get back what you put out in this life "
Only met around half a dozen, but 100% record, and would never consider having someone in reserve!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For my first six months in Fab I had a chain of disasters with various no shows and people cancelling as soon as I check in. But I am older and wiser now and learnt from my mistakes
I always have a coffee social first and organised meet at a later date. It gives me a good insight into the person.
I am a lot more involved in the Fab community. So the people I choose to play with I usually have mutual friends or have met them at socials. These people are normally less likely to let you down.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why are a lot of fabbers giving these people advice on reducing time wasters. They're the time wasters, period.
I think any sane person reading this forum post will avoid or block this couple."
Well gosh if they're anything like you guys I don't know how we'll ever get over it hahahah |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are a lot of fabbers giving these people advice on reducing time wasters. They're the time wasters, period.
I think any sane person reading this forum post will avoid or block this couple.
Well gosh if they're anything like you guys I don't know how we'll ever get over it hahahah"
Wow  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So a lot of people are time wasters here with no intentions of meeting. We were chatting with a gentleman and when he was informed that we were assessing our options and creating back up plans incase someone didnt show he threw his toys out of the pram and got cheeky. My question is whats the best way to make sure we avoid these idiots and how can we make sure to always have a plan A, B & C? "
Verifications, site supporter and phone chat before a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We understand the disappointment of being stood up or even not clicking with who your meeting. Being in an area with few active members means it’s not easy to make a last minute date if option one doesn’t work. We now host parties; both social and play. These for us work as a filter. We meet lots of people in one night. If it’s a play party we can get straight to it. If it’s a social, weve vetted a few potentials. And hopefully they happy with us so we can easily agree a play date that suits us. Be it later that night or another time. But the key for us is simply to attend parties!! |
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"As long as you told me I was a back up plan I be ok with it."
As long as you are honest about a planned play or social meet beforehand, I don't see a problem. I can always turn it down, if the scenario does not suit me and no one will be stood up. |
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