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Getting back on the horse
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me it was meeting someone else as soon as possible. You have fun again, you realize they are not the only one out there and you're not sat at home dwelling on them and past bs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it was meeting someone else as soon as possible. You have fun again, you realize they are not the only one out there and you're not sat at home dwelling on them and past bs"
Sounds so easy...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do u do that? After devoting time energy and emotion on one person. How do you get back to just having fun with random people again?
Asking for a friend...."
Just be open to it, if you've no interest then your not ready.
Start by enjoying the small stuff, the online chats, the flirting, or the forums if that's your thing.
Go on a no pressure social meet. Have a coffee or a drink, you'd be surprised how even that much will lift your spirit and build your confidence. I've no doubt things will start moving along nicely then.
Best of luck to your friend. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it was meeting someone else as soon as possible. You have fun again, you realize they are not the only one out there and you're not sat at home dwelling on them and past bs
Sounds so easy... "
Not realy  but it worked and I see them almost daily |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How do u do that? After devoting time energy and emotion on one person. How do you get back to just having fun with random people again?
Asking for a friend....
Just be open to it, if you've no interest then your not ready.
Start by enjoying the small stuff, the online chats, the flirting, or the forums if that's your thing.
Go on a no pressure social meet. Have a coffee or a drink, you'd be surprised how even that much will lift your spirit and build your confidence. I've no doubt things will start moving along nicely then.
Best of luck to your friend."
sound advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me it was meeting someone else as soon as possible. You have fun again, you realize they are not the only one out there and you're not sat at home dwelling on them and past bs
Sounds so easy...
Not realy but it worked and I see them almost daily"
I'll pass on that one... there is no rush anyway.  |
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"How do u do that? After devoting time energy and emotion on one person. How do you get back to just having fun with random people again?
Asking for a friend....
Just be open to it, if you've no interest then your not ready.
Start by enjoying the small stuff, the online chats, the flirting, or the forums if that's your thing.
Go on a no pressure social meet. Have a coffee or a drink, you'd be surprised how even that much will lift your spirit and build your confidence. I've no doubt things will start moving along nicely then.
Best of luck to your friend."
Thanks, he appreciates that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stop calling the next one a horse... they wont let you on
There isn't going to be a next one...not for a long time"
A good Ass is better than a bad horse. |
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"How do u do that? After devoting time energy and emotion on one person. How do you get back to just having fun with random people again?
Asking for a friend...."
----------------
For most men, the best way to get over someone is to get busy  Running, weights hitting a punch bag, soccer. Any sport will help channel the emotions of a break up 
When you (or said friend) is good and ready to meet again, you'll know... versus just to distract yourself by having sex to "get back" at or "get over" her 
As they say...
Time heals too so keep your head up mate  |
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Question is... Does your friend actually want to? Which did he or she find more satisfying, the randomness of previous engagements, or the depth of connection with that one person?
Sometimes we think we know what we like and want, but someone can come along who is a complete game-changer, and even though things might not work out in the long term, you'll struggle to find satisfaction in the things, situations, or even people who preceded them. The experiences feel empty.
Tell your friend not to be too hard on him/herself, no need to force it... Just enjoy the chats and someday they might be pleasantly surprised by someone or something new |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I give you some advice?
Well, I'm going to give it to you, anyway. I don't want you making the same mistakes I made when I was young. XanaduABC, that's your name, right? XanaduABC? Listen to me, this is the voice of experience talking. Are you listening? Fuck a lot of women, XanaduABC"
Should this belong in movie qoute page |
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""Can I give you some advice?
Well, I'm going to give it to you, anyway. I don't want you making the same mistakes I made when I was young. XanaduABC, that's your name, right? XanaduABC? Listen to me, this is the voice of experience talking. Are you listening? Fuck a lot of women, XanaduABC"
Should this belong in movie qoute page "
Nice advice....easier said than done though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One step at a time buddy! Went through one myself that was in the upper echelons of extremity and it took nearly 3 years to feel good about myself and life again. Not sure of your circumstances but each and everyone is different and there is no way other than your way to overcome it. Don't beat yourself up, we are all our own worst enemy at times. Talk about it, don't bottle it up, have 1 or 2 friends that you can talk openly about it and then the rest don't say a word and just truck on with a brave face and try and enjoy the good times. I say this to try stop that anxious victimising feeling. Get exercising, with time you'll get that spark and passion for life back. Feel the feels but remember you can't control your emotions but you can control your thoughts. Right now it might be a complete clusterfuck but with time will come clarity. Ye sure fuck around like there is no tomorrow but be careful. I did but it wasn't as big a help as it obviously has been for others. Each to their own. Escape when needs be but don't run, feel the feels and talk to your trusted ones. You've got this buddy. Don't expect instant results but have goals. Just start with going for a run tomorrow. Then see what happens Enjoy the little things and belief in the kindness of strangers, we're all in it together. I'll unblock men messaging me so feel free to PM if you fancy You've got this! Believe in yourself and tomorrow |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I separated from my wife in Summer 2018 following 13 years of marriage and 15 years together. Not easy, particularly with kids involved. The initial 9-12 months were incredibly difficult, but I have no doubt at all now that it was the right thing to do. We had been making one another miserable for a long time.
We're all a lot happier now, and I firmly believe that it's better for our kids to have two happy parents living apart, than two miserable ones living together.
Marriages and relationships don't end overnight. Those little seeds of doubt have a tendency to take root and grow. The end of a relationship can be a time of enormous emotional turmoil and upheaval, but you will get through it. It sounds like an horrendous cliché (and it is in many regards) but such times of emotional torment can offer tremendous opportunities for growth. It may not feel like that at the time, admittedly...
I have absolutely no desire for a new relationship right now - my kids' wellbeing is my primary concern and that keeps me busy enough.
As things stand, I'm not sure that I could ever enter into a monogamous relationship again. My wife and I hadn't slept together for 5 years by the time our marriage ended. I would never cheat, so it was a 5 year period of enforced celibacy for me. No fun, let me tell you...
Take care of yourself Xanadu, my man. Be sure to make time for the things that you enjoy and don't be afraid to give yourself a pat on the back once in a while. It does get easier. Promise x |
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