Seriously though, just be assertive. Know what you are doing but more importantly let her know you know what you are doing. It's about taking control but not in an aggressive way ( unless thats her thing) its better, in my opinion, if you know her quite well and already know what she likes and what her boundaries are. It can be a bit of a mood breaker if you are playing the dominant role and having to ask "is it ok if i..." do you like......" "do you mind if"

Just be assertive and let things happen naturally

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??"

Be yourself. If however you're not a natural Alpha, confident in yourself, who how to respond in order to lead her, then my advice is call her and say it's not in you.

If you take the advice of a few on here and force it then in my opinion you're edging on abuse as you won't know your own limits or boundries, because it's alien to you.

Why try an be something you're not?

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By *oseredWoman over a year ago

Dublin

Never try to dominate when angry. If you are not sure what or how to do it, then don't. And maybe have a conversation with her and ask her to clarify what dominate means to her. Good luck.

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By *ofistimacatedMan over a year ago

cavan town

"Tie her up, beat her, make her call you sir, anytime she does even a tiny thing wrong make her feel like shit over it.

Worse than you would treat a dog.

Thats what dominance means to women online.

Of course get her permission first."

I'm pretty sure this is not what dominance means to all women online

but I'm sure this thread will let us know

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By *antra MassageMan over a year ago

South Side.

Just be your usual grumpy self! I'm joking. I suppose it depends on how her sub matches your dom. I havnt worked it out myself, BTW, I think I'm too soft when it comes to women. If I turn on my assertive, dominant side they all seem to take fright and run away. So, have fun and if nobody gets hurt it's a nice weekend adventure.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Never try to dominate when angry. If you are not sure what or how to do it, then don't. And maybe have a conversation with her and ask her to clarify what dominate means to her. Good luck. "

One can be truly dominant without saying a word nor any physical contact. The air of a true Dom is seen in their presence more often than not, not in a bulshy way but in a natural confidence. He does have to prove it or try.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tie her up, beat her, make her call you sir, anytime she does even a tiny thing wrong make her feel like shit over it.

Worse than you would treat a dog.

Thats what dominance means to women online.

Of course get her permission first.

I'm pretty sure this is not what dominance means to all women online

but I'm sure this thread will let us know"

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By *londy84 OP Man over a year ago

Scotstown

Thanks for all the advice.

She knows it's not my thing but still wants to do it.

I'm going to try it and see what she is into. Definitely won't be able to do anything that would involve hurting her even if she likes it.

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By *ofistimacatedMan over a year ago

cavan town

"Thanks for all the advice.

She knows it's not my thing but still wants to do it.

I'm going to try it and see what she is into. Definitely won't be able to do anything that would involve hurting her even if she likes it.

Honestly, if she knows it's not your thing, that's a licence to have fun with it and not be hung up if you are doing it right or not. She understands its new to you.

Have fun, and good luck

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for all the advice.

She knows it's not my thing but still wants to do it.

I'm going to try it and see what she is into. Definitely won't be able to do anything that would involve hurting her even if she likes it.

I suggest you clarify exactly what she means by dominance, a disturbing number of people seem to equate this automatically with physically hurting someone or forcing them to do things against their will.

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By *illium_cobblersMan over a year ago

swords EI & Derby UK

Just play the role and neither of you take it too seriously, unfortunately if you dont really know her its as with anything on here you can go too far or do/say the wrong thing in an instant..... profiles I'm blocked from is testiment to that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Thanks for all the advice.

She knows it's not my thing but still wants to do it.

I'm going to try it and see what she is into. Definitely won't be able to do anything that would involve hurting her even if she likes it.

This

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By *londy84 OP Man over a year ago

Scotstown

"Thanks for all the advice.

She knows it's not my thing but still wants to do it.

I'm going to try it and see what she is into. Definitely won't be able to do anything that would involve hurting her even if she likes it.

That's the plan anyway Dominant doesn't mean hurting someone.

Thanks

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By *unnyfookMan over a year ago

Naas

get the ground rules or limits off her first. you should know after that

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"get the ground rules or limits off her first. you should know after that

And a safe word. Then again all this should be known.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"get the ground rules or limits off her first. you should know after that

And a safe word. Then again all this should be known."

My safe word is Meatloaf...

"I would do anything for love but I won't do that.....no I won't do that"

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By *atherjackhackettMan over a year ago

Tipperary

"get the ground rules or limits off her first. you should know after that

And a safe word. Then again all this should be known.

My safe word is Meatloaf...

"I would do anything for love but I won't do that.....no I won't do that""

What a fab song. As are all Meatloaf songs in fact. Such power and energy. Pity he waned so much of late. I regret I never saw him live at the height of his powers.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Tie her up, beat her, make her call you sir, anytime she does even a tiny thing wrong make her feel like shit over it.

Worse than you would treat a dog.

Thats what dominance means to women online.

Of course get her permission first."

Hmmm. Yeah, most definately not..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Tie her up and tease her drive her mind and sense wild to the point you see her trying to wriggle and escape from your grasp because shes horny as hell den untie her and tell her to show you how much of a naughty sub she is have fun and enjoy yourself most important communate and you'll be fine

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Just talk to her about it..decide what ye are both comfortable with and what boundarie's you won't cross. She know's it's not your thing and still want's to meet so don't overthink it and just enjoy it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Just talk to her about it..decide what ye are both comfortable with and what boundarie's you won't cross. She know's it's not your thing and still want's to meet so don't overthink it and just enjoy it."

Did someone say Towel

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By *evil_u_knowMan over a year ago

city

"I'm pretty sure this is not what dominance means to all women online

but I'm sure this thread will let us know"

Don't really care what women on here say, they will disagree with me just to disagree with me.

I know that over years of being on fetish sites I was only ever asked to call over and beat women and treat them like shit.

To prove how submissive they were sending me photos of their bruised battered bodies, like the idea of them being beaten by the same weak men as every other girl on the site will get my cock hard?

So direct your "i know how to be a gentle dom" kind of remarks to the women, and leave me out of it, cause you don't need to convince me, its them you have to convince.

I'm not even gonna compete with you for them, you can have them. My advice stands to the op, be an asshole, generally thats what they want.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

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By *ickirishallsortsMan over a year ago

Lickie Manor

"And a safe word. Then again all this should be known."

Top tip: "Harder" is a bad safe word

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

Major eye rolling at some of the comments

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By *ontbesillywrapyourwillyMan over a year ago

Tipperary

Dominant and submissive again ain't rocket science. You just need trust and no the boundaries of said person. I have been with women in the past and I'll qoute some words from them. Treat me like a slut, do your worst to me, facefuck me until I can't breath etc. Everyone is different. All about taking and getting a clear image.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

OP just make sure its something you are comfortable with and want.

I dont think acting Dom really works its something you naturally are.

Nothing wrong with a little experimenting but just make sure its something your happy with.

Im no expert by the way OP its just something I tried for the sake of an ex and really wasnt suited to

Hope it goes well

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By *ofistimacatedMan over a year ago

cavan town

"I'm pretty sure this is not what dominance means to all women online

but I'm sure this thread will let us know

Don't really care what women on here say, they will disagree with me just to disagree with me.

I know that over years of being on fetish sites I was only ever asked to call over and beat women and treat them like shit.

To prove how submissive they were sending me photos of their bruised battered bodies, like the idea of them being beaten by the same weak men as every other girl on the site will get my cock hard?

So direct your "i know how to be a gentle dom" kind of remarks to the women, and leave me out of it, cause you don't need to convince me, its them you have to convince.

I'm not even gonna compete with you for them, you can have them. My advice stands to the op, be an asshole, generally thats what they want."

Haha, you're great craic

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Why did you agree to something your not sure of ? Just be honest and sort it when she gets there

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Domination and submission is first and foremost about the submissive handing over control, in an environment that they are comfortable with and with the ability to take back control immediately. To be dominant doesn’t necessarily equate to degrading or physically hurting somebody...be confident, assertive, and take control of the situation. That can be as simple as ordering her to undress, telling her she has to ask permission to orgasm, ensuring you are the one the dictates any sexual activity (which position etc).

However, as one of the previous replies said, be yourself, and if yourself isn’t dominant, then tell her that, because it could cause more harm than good if you try to be something you aren’t

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??"

Whack your little toe off the bed post just before hopping in, and channel all that energy/ pain/ swearing ,,

Problem solved lol

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??

Whack your little toe off the bed post just before hopping in, and channel all that energy/ pain/ swearing ,,

Problem solved lol

Haha

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??

Whack your little toe off the bed post just before hopping in, and channel all that energy/ pain/ swearing ,,

Problem solved lol

Haha

am I right or am I not wrong

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??

Whack your little toe off the bed post just before hopping in, and channel all that energy/ pain/ swearing ,,

Problem solved lol

Haha

am I right or am I not wrong

Yes I said something similar

I said to think of someone you hate and take it out on her

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??

Whack your little toe off the bed post just before hopping in, and channel all that energy/ pain/ swearing ,,

Problem solved lol

Haha

am I right or am I not wrong

Yes I said something similar

I said to think of someone you hate and take it out on her

Jesus he has to act the Dom not kill the poor Girl lol

Hate,, who could you possibly Hate Busty,, lol

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??

Whack your little toe off the bed post just before hopping in, and channel all that energy/ pain/ swearing ,,

Problem solved lol

Haha

am I right or am I not wrong

Yes I said something similar

I said to think of someone you hate and take it out on her

Jesus he has to act the Dom not kill the poor Girl lol

Hate,, who could you possibly Hate Busty,, lol"

Me I hate no one

but when I want it like that I know how to get it

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By *r AmbassadorMan over a year ago

Dublin

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??

Whack your little toe off the bed post just before hopping in, and channel all that energy/ pain/ swearing ,,

Problem solved lol

Haha

am I right or am I not wrong

Yes I said something similar

I said to think of someone you hate and take it out on her

Jesus he has to act the Dom not kill the poor Girl lol

Hate,, who could you possibly Hate Busty,, lol

Me I hate no one

but when I want it like that I know how to get it

Exit stage left,, meet you half way,, M1 lol

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By *elle xWoman over a year ago

Doire Theas

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??

Whack your little toe off the bed post just before hopping in, and channel all that energy/ pain/ swearing ,,

Problem solved lol

Haha

am I right or am I not wrong

Yes I said something similar

I said to think of someone you hate and take it out on her

Jesus he has to act the Dom not kill the poor Girl lol

Hate,, who could you possibly Hate Busty,, lol

Me I hate no one

but when I want it like that I know how to get it

Exit stage left,, meet you half way,, M1 lol"

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By *ayogreenMan over a year ago

and out of Mayo/Galway

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

Its not something you can jump straight into. Im a Dom for years and well experienced there is no ways I would feel meeting someone for the first time and restraining them... Think safety! Start slow and work it up. But play safe about all things.

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By *affa31Woman over a year ago

Galway

Keep the communication open, if you know her get tuned into her body language. Start slow and build up. Use the traffic light system.

Don’t be forced into doing anything you’re not comfortable with as you could cause serious harm.

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By *ayogreenMan over a year ago

and out of Mayo/Galway

"Keep the communication open, if you know her get tuned into her body language. Start slow and build up. Use the traffic light system.

Don’t be forced into doing anything you’re not comfortable with as you could cause serious harm. "

Yes I totally agree.

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By *asterIrelandMan over a year ago

Tipperary

"Never try to dominate when angry. If you are not sure what or how to do it, then don't. And maybe have a conversation with her and ask her to clarify what dominate means to her. Good luck. "

One of the best advice

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By *hechapMan over a year ago

Derry

I tried to be a submissive once but i didnt like the pain.

My safe word was ball bust and no matter how many times i shouted ball bust she wouldnt stop.

The louder i shouted ball bust the fuking worse she got.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

Major eye rolling at some of the comments

oh yeah definitely

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

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By *ayogreenMan over a year ago

and out of Mayo/Galway

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play."

that's nice we are as well.

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By *affa31Woman over a year ago

Galway

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play.

that's nice we are as well.

Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play.

that's nice we are as well.

Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?

when a person tries to tell us about BDSM when they have no knowledge of our experience in BDSM it comes across as condescending. if it wasn't meant that way fine.

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By *ofistimacatedMan over a year ago

cavan town

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

With your 15 years of experience, rather than laughing and rolling your eyes at us mere mortals, maybe you could have given this guy who asked us a genuine question, some advice??

Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

With your 15 years of experience, rather than laughing and rolling your eyes at us mere mortals, maybe you could have given this guy who asked us a genuine question, some advice??

Just a thought

didn't realise we signed up to this site to teach people. thought it was to swing. our bad.

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By *affa31Woman over a year ago

Galway

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play.

that's nice we are as well.

Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?

when a person tries to tell us about BDSM when they have no knowledge of our experience in BDSM it comes across as condescending. if it wasn't meant that way fine. "

I’m pretty sure they weren’t trying to tell you. They were replying to the thread and perhaps shouldn’t have quoted your comment but if you read it logically they were adding to your comment, not trying to instruct you.

In this case, you’re the condescending one

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play.

that's nice we are as well.

Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?

when a person tries to tell us about BDSM when they have no knowledge of our experience in BDSM it comes across as condescending. if it wasn't meant that way fine.

In this case, you’re the condescending one"

hold on i'll find a fuck to give

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By *affa31Woman over a year ago

Galway

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play.

that's nice we are as well.

Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?

when a person tries to tell us about BDSM when they have no knowledge of our experience in BDSM it comes across as condescending. if it wasn't meant that way fine.

In this case, you’re the condescending one

hold on i'll find a fuck to give"

It’s ok, you already gave one earlier when you allowed yourself to be offended by your own interpretation of a forum comment.

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By *evil_u_knowMan over a year ago

city

I dont know why he should not ask about being more dominant.

Even naturally dominant people might not feel comfortable telling a woman/man what do do in a sexual environment.

Also whats the harm in spanking her, there is no jedi training you have to go through, everyone started spanking by just spanking. Same with restraints, if you want to try some rope ties whats the harm? Some youtube videos, be ready to cut them loose, for 99.99% of people the worst thing that will happen is cutting the rope cause you cant undo the knot as they gets pins and needles.

For example if it was your very first time having sex with a woman ever ever, and she pulled out a pair of fluffy handcuffs, are you really supposed to go "Hold on, hold on, this could seriously hurt you and I am not qualified. I need to go online, research this, and get some advie from people who have been handcuffing women for years to see if this is okay to do"

I know some things are just tongue in cheeky, but if you want to be dominant or try it then just basically be ready to stop, find out limits first if you can or be ready to hear them during sex, and just start by having sex how and where you want it.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play.

that's nice we are as well.

Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?

when a person tries to tell us about BDSM when they have no knowledge of our experience in BDSM it comes across as condescending. if it wasn't meant that way fine.

In this case, you’re the condescending one

hold on i'll find a fuck to give"

Jesus lad for someone who always says negativity is the thing that bothers them on fab you dont half have a grim outlook.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *ofistimacatedMan over a year ago

cavan town

didn't realise we signed up to this site to teach people. thought it was to swing. our bad."

Common courtesy to give advice when asked for it.

Just plain rude and arrogant to hijack a thread and insult everyone. Strange way of swinging.

Anyway, everyone is free to do what they want. You guys are no different.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fetlife.com is a great resource to educate yourself and explore the world of kink. You can attend some of the munches or events and connect with other like minded people.

I have met many great friends it's a great community to be involved with. They were very welcoming when I first joined and hadn't a clue about kink.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

didn't realise we signed up to this site to teach people. thought it was to swing. our bad.

Common courtesy to give advice when asked for it.

Just plain rude and arrogant to hijack a thread and insult everyone. Strange way of swinging.

Anyway, everyone is free to do what they want. You guys are no different.

first we have given plenty of advice to

folks on here regarding kink and it has fell on deaf ears.

second we didn't hijack the thread that was done by others.

third the only insult we have done is to say some of the comments were laughable and they are. did we say that all of them were? no. there is actually some rather good advice on this thread.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play.

that's nice we are as well.

Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?

when a person tries to tell us about BDSM when they have no knowledge of our experience in BDSM it comes across as condescending. if it wasn't meant that way fine.

In this case, you’re the condescending one

hold on i'll find a fuck to give

Jesus lad for someone who always says negativity is the thing that bothers them on fab you dont half have a grim outlook.

not grim realistic.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Fetlife.com is a great resource to educate yourself and explore the world of kink. You can attend some of the munches or events and connect with other like minded people.

I have met many great friends it's a great community to be involved with. They were very welcoming when I first joined and hadn't a clue about kink."

best advice on this thread

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"oh god judging by some of the comments some people really don't have a clue about being Dominant

really? we wouldn't have known if you hadn't of told us especially our our combined 15 years of experience in BDSM.

I'm on a different site for my bdsm play.

that's nice we are as well.

Did you get up on the wrong side of bed?

when a person tries to tell us about BDSM when they have no knowledge of our experience in BDSM it comes across as condescending. if it wasn't meant that way fine.

In this case, you’re the condescending one

hold on i'll find a fuck to give

Jesus lad for someone who always says negativity is the thing that bothers them on fab you dont half have a grim outlook.

not grim realistic."

Not really, as you saod just above there was.plenty positive advise. But once again you focus in on the negative. And even the comment that quotes you and shares your outlook you view automatically as an attack on your vast knowledge of all things kink.

Its like when you ignore OPs just to tell people their not OP linked comments are stupid and ruining fab.

Anyway happy hunting I'm out

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I have woman coming over on the weekend.

And wants me to be dominant

Any advice ??"

Simply setting a task, how you would like her to dress, if she has a favoirite toy paddle/flogger take with her. Its not all about pain as each and every sub is different, and mood depending gives a different outcome.

Can have her stand/kneel in a corner within a time frame,put toy of choice into her mouth, rattle chain or a noise of a belt etc, use as a piece of furniture.

ASMR, can be used .

But its about communicating what her needs are, as well as both of you being comfortable within the scene. There is events run for learning rope work, flogging, candle wax etc. If you choose to progress further.

Good luck and play safe.

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By *hors.HammerMan over a year ago

Newbridge

"Fetlife.com is a great resource to educate yourself and explore the world of kink. You can attend some of the munches or events and connect with other like minded people.

I have met many great friends it's a great community to be involved with. They were very welcoming when I first joined and hadn't a clue about kink."

This

Also it's not something that can be rushed. As it takes a certain level of trust for even the most basic of D/S play.

Do not do something you're uncomfortable doing, no matter how much one party wants it if you don't feel comfortable doing something, you should not feel obligated to do so.

Start at your comfort level, and work up from there.

Play safe and have fun. Make sure you agree on hard limits before, and have a safe word as well as safe signal before you start anything.

Hopefully it will work out for you and who knows it might open a new learning experience for you.

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By *aneMarpleWoman over a year ago

dublin

"Force feed her your cock , call her a slut and spank that ass. "

This is the type of comment that makes me despair. No experience, no understanding, no knowledge, stick to vanilla sex

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