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The Fab Reality Show
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If people acted the same at a Fab 'mixer' as they do online....
You'd have girls deep in conversation with 1 or 2 people, while 100 strangers keep walking up to them saying 'hello sexy', maybe unexpectedly grabbing them to give them a kiss or 4 on the cheek, or perhaps sliding a photograph of their genitalia onto the bar in front of them... Then standing there expectantly for a few minutes before shrugging and moving further down the bar to repeat the process with someone else.... Every now and then one of them will throw their hands in the air, shout something about timewasters and the place not being what it used to be anymore and then storm out the door...
Based on your experience of online interaction, what else would happen? 
Keep it fun folks... Don't make it personal or take it personally  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id enjoy watching kne or two walk out one door and reentering 5mins later through another with a new hat/novelty sunglasses/fake beard proclaiming they had just arrieved |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wander off mid-sentence as a hottie caught their eye, then when they get nowhere with her, come back and say "where did you go?" 
I think I've actually had that happen in person at a social!   "
Did they shout "Squirrel" before running off? |
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"Probably call me Maggie and try convince me that we have in fact met before.
But we did.. Remember? You were wearing your blue jumper Maggie! "
I'm having an identity crisis now... was it the royal blue one.
Regards
Maggie. |
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"Wander off mid-sentence as a hottie caught their eye, then when they get nowhere with her, come back and say "where did you go?"
I think I've actually had that happen in person at a social!
Did they shout "Squirrel" before running off? "
No... But I did shout it before I walked away.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wander off mid-sentence as a hottie caught their eye, then when they get nowhere with her, come back and say "where did you go?"
I think I've actually had that happen in person at a social!
Did they shout "Squirrel" before running off?
No... But I did shout it before I walked away.. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There would be that one guy walking around shaking his head at all the other guys handing out photocopies and advising them that ignoring means no interest.
Before pulling out his keyringed cock pic because he is genuine and made the effort |
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"Id enjoy watching kne or two walk out one door and reentering 5mins later through another with a new hat/novelty sunglasses/fake beard proclaiming they had just arrieved"
I am now Princess Minxy Pants of Carlow.... Who is this Wexford person you speak of??? |
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"There would be that one guy walking around shaking his head at all the other guys handing out photocopies and advising them that ignoring means no interest.
Before pulling out his keyringed cock pic because he is genuine and made the effort"
That "one" guy? |
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"Probably call me Maggie and try convince me that we have in fact met before.
But we did.. Remember? You were wearing your blue jumper Maggie!
I'm having an identity crisis now... was it the royal blue one.
Regards
Maggie. "
There's more than one kind of blue? We met in that bar, Y'know... The one on that street with the sign... You're looking as lovely as ever Maggie! |
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"Probably call me Maggie and try convince me that we have in fact met before.
But we did.. Remember? You were wearing your blue jumper Maggie!
I'm having an identity crisis now... was it the royal blue one.
Regards
Maggie.
There's more than one kind of blue? We met in that bar, Y'know... The one on that street with the sign... You're looking as lovely as ever Maggie!"
It's starting to come back to me now.... I think?? |
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"Probably call me Maggie and try convince me that we have in fact met before.
Ah here's me thinking it only happened to me "
Nah... My favourite one was 'Are you the girl from (estate name) in (town name) that works in (salon name) that I met for a quickie one night last summer?'
Cheers mate... You couldn't remember her name, but I now know the girl who does my Mammy's highlights loves a bit of strange  |
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"There would be that one guy walking around shaking his head at all the other guys handing out photocopies and advising them that ignoring means no interest.
Before pulling out his keyringed cock pic because he is genuine and made the effort"
Did he arrive in wearing armour, seated on a magnificent white stallion? |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
And the couples grouped in the corner nodding and shaking their heads telling each other what a shame it is that the scene being ruined by all tbese single guys when it should be all about us |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"And the couples grouped in the corner nodding and shaking their heads telling each other what a shame it is that the scene being ruined by all tbese single guys when it should be all about us "
Ah can we not just give them a fucking spin off? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There would be that one guy walking around shaking his head at all the other guys handing out photocopies and advising them that ignoring means no interest.
Before pulling out his keyringed cock pic because he is genuine and made the effort
Did he arrive in wearing armour, seated on a magnificent white stallion? "
A lovely white audi a5 cause he is a professinal |
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"I’d be sitting in the corner, watching everyone quietly with my drink, before sidling up beside someone and making a joke
Would these be knock-knock jokes or more like in-your-endo? "
More like an in-your-endo 
I’m not proud of them, but I can’t resist |
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"And the couples grouped in the corner nodding and shaking their heads telling each other what a shame it is that the scene being ruined by all tbese single guys when it should be all about us "
And then at the end of the night they nudge a single guy or girl at the bar... Ask if they're horny.. And give them their room number! |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
The slim gym bunnies looking at the dad bods witb distaine
The curvy/fat ladies lokking at the fit six pack guys and drooling
The mommy bods looking at the dad bods saying he should try harder
The salt of the earth girls chatting to every body but fucking none
The guys asking for fanny pics
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"Id be there trying to start a conversation and generally being ignored lol I'd just give up and get d*unk instead ha"
And then forget you're not online, get your dick out and wank yourself into oblivion in the corner? |
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"And the couples grouped in the corner nodding and shaking their heads telling each other what a shame it is that the scene being ruined by all tbese single guys when it should be all about us
Ah can we not just give them a fucking spin off?"
They get the after-show... Fab Reality Bites |
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"The single females that stand there handing out lists of rules dos and donts before they even say hello to the nice well groomed guy sas just about to say hi "
We offer a printing service specially! |
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What about the women sitting with bags over their head with a queue of men lined up in front of them, posing in all manner of poses and angles, waiting for them to pick one, bring them back to their room to reveal their faces
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"The slim gym bunnies looking at the dad bods witb distaine
The curvy/fat ladies lokking at the fit six pack guys and drooling
The mommy bods looking at the dad bods saying he should try harder
The salt of the earth girls chatting to every body but fucking none
The guys asking for fanny pics
"
The girls in the corner arguing over whether cocks look better soft or hard? |
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"What about the women sitting with bags over their head with a queue of men lined up in front of them, posing in all manner of poses and angles, waiting for them to pick one, bring them back to their room to reveal their faces
"
Ah now in fairness some do give the odd glimpse of chin... Or cut out eye holes... What more do ye want? |
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"What about the women sitting with bags over their head with a queue of men lined up in front of them, posing in all manner of poses and angles, waiting for them to pick one, bring them back to their room to reveal their faces
Ah now in fairness some do give the odd glimpse of chin... Or cut out eye holes... What more do ye want? "
I’m only going back with them cos I know they like McDonalds |
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"What about the women sitting with bags over their head with a queue of men lined up in front of them, posing in all manner of poses and angles, waiting for them to pick one, bring them back to their room to reveal their faces
Ah now in fairness some do give the odd glimpse of chin... Or cut out eye holes... What more do ye want?
I’m only going back with them cos I know they like McDonalds "
But do you sing 'da-da-dah-dah-daaaaahhh... I'm loving it!' as you munch their McMuffin? |
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"What about the women sitting with bags over their head with a queue of men lined up in front of them, posing in all manner of poses and angles, waiting for them to pick one, bring them back to their room to reveal their faces
Ah now in fairness some do give the odd glimpse of chin... Or cut out eye holes... What more do ye want?
I’m only going back with them cos I know they like McDonalds
But do you sing 'da-da-dah-dah-daaaaahhh... I'm loving it!' as you munch their McMuffin? "
If they take my gherkin I’ll munch their McMuffin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We will have to have the people shouting to the whole room before and after they sneak of for a play "IM SO SEXCITED TO SEE IF YOU CAN BACK UP THAT TALK BABY"
"BEST FONDLE IN A DARK CORNER EVER....THE FLASKBACKS..TILL NEXT TIME" |
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"We will have to have the people shouting to the whole room before and after they sneak of for a play "IM SO SEXCITED TO SEE IF YOU CAN BACK UP THAT TALK BABY"
"BEST FONDLE IN A DARK CORNER EVER....THE FLASKBACKS..TILL NEXT TIME""
Oh.. Those ones...? Treat them with respect. |
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"The u know who u are's sitting in a group pointing at others asking whos that "
And the ones who really do think they know everyone or just don't like to admit they don't know something, telling them 'oh that's Maggie...'
Wait... I think we've solved a mystery here!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"...Every 30 minutes, there would be a single guy holding court to 112 people saying that he's "genuine"  yet wondering why he can't meet anyone, or what's wrong with his approach of showing women at the bar his cock
Of course, there would be a few white knights patrolling the bar lest some ruffian might say something derogatory to one of the ladies here...
You'd also get people being put outside on the Naughty step for the night 
Don't forget the ones who will just wander through the room making incendiary and derogatory remarks while wearing keyboard-shaped glasses "
And the men propping up the bar who mutter to each other that they wouldn't look at any of the women in the street anyway |
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"...Every 30 minutes, there would be a single guy holding court to 112 people saying that he's "genuine" yet wondering why he can't meet anyone, or what's wrong with his approach of showing women at the bar his cock
Of course, there would be a few white knights patrolling the bar lest some ruffian might say something derogatory to one of the ladies here...
You'd also get people being put outside on the Naughty step for the night
Don't forget the ones who will just wander through the room making incendiary and derogatory remarks while wearing keyboard-shaped glasses "
--------------------
Or the Fabbers crying in their drinks whinging about why they can't meet a good man
...oblivious to the fact that they're in an immoral den of iniquity ...Duh!!!!  |
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"...Every 30 minutes, there would be a single guy holding court to 112 people saying that he's "genuine" yet wondering why he can't meet anyone, or what's wrong with his approach of showing women at the bar his cock
Of course, there would be a few white knights patrolling the bar lest some ruffian might say something derogatory to one of the ladies here...
You'd also get people being put outside on the Naughty step for the night
Don't forget the ones who will just wander through the room making incendiary and derogatory remarks while wearing keyboard-shaped glasses
And the men propping up the bar who mutter to each other that they wouldn't look at any of the women in the street anyway "
They would if they wore what they wear on here on the street!! |
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Or the single girl standing on her own and when a guy finally plucks up the courage to say ‘hi’ she completely ignores him and then shouts to the whole room ‘God!!! I’m so sick of being pestered! I can’t be expected to reply to everyone!!’
Jessy |
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"C'mon guys... Its a bit one-sided here so far...
What about the girls who are sitting with their legs spread and no knickers on but say they're just looking for a regular fwb? "
fuck the regular. If she's sitting legs spread no knickers on, she wants dick here and now. |
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"Or the single girl standing on her own and when a guy finally plucks up the courage to say ‘hi’ she completely ignores him and then shouts to the whole room ‘God!!! I’m so sick of being pestered! I can’t be expected to reply to everyone!!’
Jessy "
There will be 'would you fuck me?' beer mats with Yes/No tick boxes on all tables... And an 'Am I on your hotlist' survey on the back |
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"I would be sitting in the middle of the bar in deep conversation with all the women.
I'm just kidding I am only in deep conversation with one person, you know who you are sexy doll."
This is where all the ladies unanimously say 'I do' and smile around smugly before realising everyone else is doing the same?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would be sitting in the middle of the bar in deep conversation with all the women.
I'm just kidding I am only in deep conversation with one person, you know who you are sexy doll.
This is where all the ladies unanimously say 'I do' and smile around smugly before realising everyone else is doing the same?? "
In his defense everyone at the bar said ye were all not to be missed out on.... |
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"I would be sitting in the middle of the bar in deep conversation with all the women.
I'm just kidding I am only in deep conversation with one person, you know who you are sexy doll.
This is where all the ladies unanimously say 'I do' and smile around smugly before realising everyone else is doing the same??
In his defense everyone at the bar said ye were all not to be missed out on...."
Is it because we're all sucking on our drinking straws to show off our Dysonesque skills?? |
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"Or the guys saying hang on til I get my phone and we can have some phone fun "
The ones taking sneaky crotch-shots and Snapchatting them to each other even though they're sitting in the same room? |
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""straight" guys coming up to bar asking do you want a BJ
Fakes wandering around with printouts of other people's faces and bodies tied around them
That I would love to see "
The more I think about it... The funnier it gets... I almost wish people would act the same in public now just to be able to watch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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""straight" guys coming up to bar asking do you want a BJ
Fakes wandering around with printouts of other people's faces and bodies tied around them "
Or the ones who for some reason cant be in the same room as their, very similar looking verie |
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""straight" guys coming up to bar asking do you want a BJ
Fakes wandering around with printouts of other people's faces and bodies tied around them
Or the ones who for some reason cant be in the same room as their, very similar looking verie"
Not without creating a space-time paradox? |
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By *oseredWoman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"The couples where the female half couldn't make this one "
No no, she'd there just always in the loo, gone for a smoke or chatting out of sight but very very real. Anyway, fancy a shag while we wait for her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Id enjoy watching kne or two walk out one door and reentering 5mins later through another with a new hat/novelty sunglasses/fake beard proclaiming they had just arrieved"
What's a kne or two?
|
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""straight" guys coming up to bar asking do you want a BJ
Fakes wandering around with printouts of other people's faces and bodies tied around them
That I would love to see
The more I think about it... The funnier it gets... I almost wish people would act the same in public now just to be able to watch "
It does get funnier the more you think about it. Would make great tv |
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"The couples where the female half couldn't make this one
No no, she'd there just always in the loo, gone for a smoke or chatting out of sight but very very real. Anyway, fancy a shag while we wait for her. "
Brilliant!! |
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"Don't forget the bare back lovers who say they don't do bare back yet all their partners are clearly different and there isn't a condom in sight "
Yeah but no but yeah but no but it's an ex and no he/she isn't on Fab and doesn't know I've used their photos but it's OK because they're mad for it anyway and wouldn't mind if they did know I'd used their photos and anyway I only ever slept with them bareback and not nobody else and if Lizzie down the road said I did I didn't and she'd know cos she's barebacked half the country, lies about her age and she's a slag anyway....
That ladies and gents was my best (and breathless) Vicky Pollard by the way |
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"What about the guy or girl at the bar that keeps calling people trolls just because they don't have any comebacks of there own."
I refer you to my earlier comment about wearing keyboard-style sunglasses! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What about the guy or girl at the bar that keeps calling people trolls just because they don't have any comebacks of there own.
I refer you to my earlier comment about wearing keyboard-style sunglasses! "
I guess if they fit wear them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The woman dressed like a slut but pretending to be a virgin.
Doesn't that happen everywhere everyday anyway though? It's not unique to Fab. "
You like my posts you keep wanting more. |
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"Or the woman meeting a guy and telling him all about the other women in the room and showing faces to match the name...oh wait that did really happen "
Happens other way round too... Not unique to Fab though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kaizer don't do Reality TV. Come back when you're making a movie 
Hmmmm... Will this be a short or one of those movies that needs an intermission? "
A Saga of course! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Kaizer don't do Reality TV. Come back when you're making a movie
Hmmmm... Will this be a short or one of those movies that needs an intermission? "
It's in 3d |
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"I would be sitting in the middle of the bar in deep conversation with all the women.
I'm just kidding I am only in deep conversation with one person, you know who you are sexy doll.
This is where all the ladies unanimously say 'I do' and smile around smugly before realising everyone else is doing the same?? "
caught rapid |
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