FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Ignorance is *not* bliss...
Ignorance is *not* bliss...
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"...but it *is* worryingly commonplace. I followed the "bareback" thread with a mixture of frustration and despair over the past few days. As a result I felt compelled to pen this thread. I'm somewhat astounded at the prevalent ignorance of STIs and STDs (yes, there is a difference) and the relevant preventative and retrospective measures that responsible people in this type of lifestyle should be more aware of and embracing. Reading the thread, a few people mentioned testing but most champion the use of condoms as the be all and end all. Worryingly many posts come across with a smug kind of "I'm using condoms, I'm not like those fools who don't." First off: do people know that there are many STIs that condoms do not and cannot protect against? Google "The STIs That Condoms Don't Protect Against". Of the credible sources that appear, the Australian Health board page is pretty good, but the most useful and succinct is on the self.com posting. Condoms (used properly) help protect against STIs and STDs that are carried in bodily fluids. Many STIs transmit through skin to skin contact. And reflect on this: how many of you Use condoms when engaging in oral sex? How many of you have had a particularly vigorous sex session and the condom came off? How many of you know that condom use has a 80-92% chance of stopping HIV? As someone who was bewildered and angry to have gotten an STI many years ago despite using condoms, I have educated myself in the interim. The only effective strategy for maintaining sexual health is: 1. Common sense about partners / situations 2. *Careful* Condom use when the situation suggests so (likely to be most cases) 3. Regular testing - the most effective and important step which many seem to ignore 4. Sharing of test results - this is easy now as most clinics email results or give you online access 5. Educating ourselves to remove condom ignorance 6. Removing STI phobia: people get them and get cured from them, like common cold or chest infection. So please, please, please: stop this myth that condoms is the be all and end all. It's not. It's just another preventative measure in your array - testing is the main component in your sexual health. " 
You can call me a weirdo but I do tests every 3 months altogether with a usual health check up. No matter if had sex or not.
Thanks OP! I hope more people will do regular check ups. | |||
"...but it *is* worryingly commonplace. I followed the "bareback" thread with a mixture of frustration and despair over the past few days. As a result I felt compelled to pen this thread. I'm somewhat astounded at the prevalent ignorance of STIs and STDs (yes, there is a difference) and the relevant preventative and retrospective measures that responsible people in this type of lifestyle should be more aware of and embracing. Reading the thread, a few people mentioned testing but most champion the use of condoms as the be all and end all. Worryingly many posts come across with a smug kind of "I'm using condoms, I'm not like those fools who don't." First off: do people know that there are many STIs that condoms do not and cannot protect against? Google "The STIs That Condoms Don't Protect Against". Of the credible sources that appear, the Australian Health board page is pretty good, but the most useful and succinct is on the self.com posting. Condoms (used properly) help protect against STIs and STDs that are carried in bodily fluids. Many STIs transmit through skin to skin contact. And reflect on this: how many of you Use condoms when engaging in oral sex? How many of you have had a particularly vigorous sex session and the condom came off? How many of you know that condom use has a 80-92% chance of stopping HIV? As someone who was bewildered and angry to have gotten an STI many years ago despite using condoms, I have educated myself in the interim. The only effective strategy for maintaining sexual health is: 1. Common sense about partners / situations 2. *Careful* Condom use when the situation suggests so (likely to be most cases) 3. Regular testing - the most effective and important step which many seem to ignore 4. Sharing of test results - this is easy now as most clinics email results or give you online access 5. Educating ourselves to remove condom ignorance 6. Removing STI phobia: people get them and get cured from them, like common cold or chest infection. So please, please, please: stop this myth that condoms is the be all and end all. It's not. It's just another preventative measure in your array - testing is the main component in your sexual health.
You can call me a weirdo but I do tests every 3 months altogether with a usual health check up. No matter if had sex or not.
Thanks OP! I hope more people will do regular check ups. "Every 3 months!! when I got tested the clinic said unless you haven't had sex in 3 months the test will not be conclusive. | |||
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"...but it *is* worryingly commonplace. I followed the "bareback" thread with a mixture of frustration and despair over the past few days. As a result I felt compelled to pen this thread. I'm somewhat astounded at the prevalent ignorance of STIs and STDs (yes, there is a difference) and the relevant preventative and retrospective measures that responsible people in this type of lifestyle should be more aware of and embracing. Reading the thread, a few people mentioned testing but most champion the use of condoms as the be all and end all. Worryingly many posts come across with a smug kind of "I'm using condoms, I'm not like those fools who don't." First off: do people know that there are many STIs that condoms do not and cannot protect against? Google "The STIs That Condoms Don't Protect Against". Of the credible sources that appear, the Australian Health board page is pretty good, but the most useful and succinct is on the self.com posting. Condoms (used properly) help protect against STIs and STDs that are carried in bodily fluids. Many STIs transmit through skin to skin contact. And reflect on this: how many of you Use condoms when engaging in oral sex? How many of you have had a particularly vigorous sex session and the condom came off? How many of you know that condom use has a 80-92% chance of stopping HIV? As someone who was bewildered and angry to have gotten an STI many years ago despite using condoms, I have educated myself in the interim. The only effective strategy for maintaining sexual health is: 1. Common sense about partners / situations 2. *Careful* Condom use when the situation suggests so (likely to be most cases) 3. Regular testing - the most effective and important step which many seem to ignore 4. Sharing of test results - this is easy now as most clinics email results or give you online access 5. Educating ourselves to remove condom ignorance 6. Removing STI phobia: people get them and get cured from them, like common cold or chest infection. So please, please, please: stop this myth that condoms is the be all and end all. It's not. It's just another preventative measure in your array - testing is the main component in your sexual health.
You can call me a weirdo but I do tests every 3 months altogether with a usual health check up. No matter if had sex or not.
Thanks OP! I hope more people will do regular check ups.
Every 3 months!! when I got tested the clinic said unless you haven't had sex in 3 months the test will not be conclusive."I don't mind. I do it as a part of my routine check ups. | |||
" Every 3 months!! when I got tested the clinic said unless you haven't had sex in 3 months the test will not be conclusive." Hence the 3 month testing | |||
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from for your 6 point maintaining-sexual-health programme. Pity you didn't frame it with a positive reminder. | |||
"Tbh I find your post a bit assumptive and patronising. The logical answer to said thread if you're not into barebacking is 'using condoms'. Those two expressions are kinda antonyms. Just because they gave a simple answer to a simply phrased question doesn't mean that people have no or little knowledge about sti's and don't get tested (regularly). Anyhow I give you a from for your 6 point maintaining-sexual-health programme. Pity you didn't frame it with a positive reminder."I take your point DH. It's difficult to try and be unemotional about subjects that you feel strongly about and in actual fact I tried hard not to sound condescending and "school master" like. I actually stopped short of making the assertion that a % of the people holding the view that they used condoms "so they are ok" have undiagnosed STIs...!
Not as sure I'd agree on the assumptive point though. Like many threads, the OP of "barebacking" asked a simple question and set the tone, but it roared off and took on a different direction as people shared their interpretation and broader views on the subject.
So this thread was based on the views being shared, not the original post and hence the reasons I started a new thread, so as not to further divert or perhaps subvert the OPs topic.
A respectful wink to your check and balance though
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"From personal experience of discussing safe sex and regular testing with people from vanilla world and some newbies on fab - it's the vanilla world that is more dangerous. Something about joining fab makes people want to go be safe and get tested meanwhile peeps who swarm on the likes of pof or go on a pull on a regular night out aren't afraid to bareback "sure it's a one off, it'll be grand", "what do I need to get tested for, not like I'm on some swingers site having orgies" and lots of other ridiculous excuses. Some never get tested in their lives as it's "too shameful to sit at the gum clinic, what if someine sees me". Think I pretty much heard it all by now from ones that truly don't have a clue "
Testing is so easy these days. There are so many options, anonymity assured and having quick online or emailed access to results is straightforward. Nearly all tests are quick and rarely uncomfortable.
It nearly makes the *very* occasional test where a (usually male) nurse feels like Hannibal Lector ramming a chainsaw up your japs eye worthwhile..  | |||
"From personal experience of discussing safe sex and regular testing with people from vanilla world and some newbies on fab - it's the vanilla world that is more dangerous. Something about joining fab makes people want to go be safe and get tested meanwhile peeps who swarm on the likes of pof or go on a pull on a regular night out aren't afraid to bareback "sure it's a one off, it'll be grand", "what do I need to get tested for, not like I'm on some swingers site having orgies" and lots of other ridiculous excuses. Some never get tested in their lives as it's "too shameful to sit at the gum clinic, what if someine sees me". Think I pretty much heard it all by now from ones that truly don't have a clue "You gorgeous girl are always the voice of reason. I told two of my vanilla friends I had joined Fab. They said I would be riddled with everything. I have being tested three times in the year I have being here and am very selective with my play partners. They on the other hand had being less selective about their Tinder date's and don't find it necessary to be tested as they are too mortified to attend a clinic. | |||
"...but it *is* worryingly commonplace. I followed the "bareback" thread with a mixture of frustration and despair over the past few days. As a result I felt compelled to pen this thread. I'm somewhat astounded at the prevalent ignorance of STIs and STDs (yes, there is a difference) and the relevant preventative and retrospective measures that responsible people in this type of lifestyle should be more aware of and embracing. Reading the thread, a few people mentioned testing but most champion the use of condoms as the be all and end all. Worryingly many posts come across with a smug kind of "I'm using condoms, I'm not like those fools who don't." First off: do people know that there are many STIs that condoms do not and cannot protect against? Google "The STIs That Condoms Don't Protect Against". Of the credible sources that appear, the Australian Health board page is pretty good, but the most useful and succinct is on the self.com posting. Condoms (used properly) help protect against STIs and STDs that are carried in bodily fluids. Many STIs transmit through skin to skin contact. And reflect on this: how many of you Use condoms when engaging in oral sex? How many of you have had a particularly vigorous sex session and the condom came off? How many of you know that condom use has a 80-92% chance of stopping HIV? As someone who was bewildered and angry to have gotten an STI many years ago despite using condoms, I have educated myself in the interim. The only effective strategy for maintaining sexual health is: 1. Common sense about partners / situations 2. *Careful* Condom use when the situation suggests so (likely to be most cases) 3. Regular testing - the most effective and important step which many seem to ignore 4. Sharing of test results - this is easy now as most clinics email results or give you online access 5. Educating ourselves to remove condom ignorance 6. Removing STI phobia: people get them and get cured from them, like common cold or chest infection. So please, please, please: stop this myth that condoms is the be all and end all. It's not. It's just another preventative measure in your array - testing is the main component in your sexual health. " I like the number 4 but it did not work, I was considering sex without a condom with a guy. I shared my results and asked for his, he couldn't and then proceeded say he would but didn't. So I didn't and moved on. I must get better with condoms with oral I tried once but I got empty reaches. I see other taking about flavoured condoms I must be looking in the wrong place for them. Where can I get them and better condoms, I hear skins are good,can they be bought flavoured aswell. Where can I purchase these at good value and big packets? Thank you OP for the reminder of just how risky it is, this is why I don't play a whole lot now and especially in different groups, big groups etc. | |||
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"...but it *is* worryingly commonplace. I followed the "bareback" thread with a mixture of frustration and despair over the past few days. As a result I felt compelled to pen this thread. I'm somewhat astounded at the prevalent ignorance of STIs and STDs (yes, there is a difference) and the relevant preventative and retrospective measures that responsible people in this type of lifestyle should be more aware of and embracing. Reading the thread, a few people mentioned testing but most champion the use of condoms as the be all and end all. Worryingly many posts come across with a smug kind of "I'm using condoms, I'm not like those fools who don't." First off: do people know that there are many STIs that condoms do not and cannot protect against? Google "The STIs That Condoms Don't Protect Against". Of the credible sources that appear, the Australian Health board page is pretty good, but the most useful and succinct is on the self.com posting. Condoms (used properly) help protect against STIs and STDs that are carried in bodily fluids. Many STIs transmit through skin to skin contact. And reflect on this: how many of you Use condoms when engaging in oral sex? How many of you have had a particularly vigorous sex session and the condom came off? How many of you know that condom use has a 80-92% chance of stopping HIV? As someone who was bewildered and angry to have gotten an STI many years ago despite using condoms, I have educated myself in the interim. The only effective strategy for maintaining sexual health is: 1. Common sense about partners / situations 2. *Careful* Condom use when the situation suggests so (likely to be most cases) 3. Regular testing - the most effective and important step which many seem to ignore 4. Sharing of test results - this is easy now as most clinics email results or give you online access 5. Educating ourselves to remove condom ignorance 6. Removing STI phobia: people get them and get cured from them, like common cold or chest infection. So please, please, please: stop this myth that condoms is the be all and end all. It's not. It's just another preventative measure in your array - testing is the main component in your sexual health. " Once again I’m on the side of Doghunter on a post. Each OP that posts a topic has a reason & of course is entitled to it. My opinion on your post OP is that altho it may come across as educational & concern but it’s very judgemental & condescending. There’s just so much of it in ur post that I can’t cover it all. Summary is that when words like ‘ignorance, astounded, compelled, frustrated & despair’ are used its in a patronising way. When u tell us to ‘google’ stuff & state ‘condoms (used properly)’ like we’re buffoons, u lecture on how many of us done/know this/that, u add in a dig at d fact there’s a difference with STI & STD that wasn’t even relevant but more in my opinion a narcissist jibe, u didn’t even aim it at d silly posters but u lectured even ‘responsible people in this type of lifestyle should be more aware’, u even listed a strategy that we should be doing. A judgemental post labelling us all with stupidity & ignorance is still rude even if u sugar coated it with intelligent words, quotes & facts. On behalf of myself, I am an adult & a swinger, I know abt sexual health & how to look after my own. | |||
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"If your worried about being seen in a clinic may I suggest himerus health in Dublin, its on a health care campus so nobody will have any idea of why your there, you can pay cash and the only people you meet are the doctor and receptionist, just give your first name and phone number and they will text you the results, it's all very anomamous, for your own safety and the safety of future partners, as has been said some sti's and std's don't show outward symptoms, great post op" Now go to vanilla world and tell that to every vanilla person you know | |||
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" Once again I’m on the side of Doghunter on a post. Each OP that posts a topic has a reason & of course is entitled to it. My opinion on your post OP is that altho it may come across as educational & concern but it’s very judgemental & condescending. There’s just so much of it in ur post that I can’t cover it all. Summary is that when words like ‘ignorance, astounded, compelled, frustrated & despair’ are used its in a patronising way. When u tell us to ‘google’ stuff & state ‘condoms (used properly)’ like we’re buffoons, u lecture on how many of us done/know this/that, u add in a dig at d fact there’s a difference with STI & STD that wasn’t even relevant but more in my opinion a narcissist jibe, u didn’t even aim it at d silly posters but u lectured even ‘responsible people in this type of lifestyle should be more aware’, u even listed a strategy that we should be doing. A judgemental post labelling us all with stupidity & ignorance is still rude even if u sugar coated it with intelligent words, quotes & facts. On behalf of myself, I am an adult & a swinger, I know abt sexual health & how to look after my own. " Ouch! Well, I will consider myself quite publically rebuked
On reading your specific points and looking over my article again, I agree that it does not come across properly and in so doing loses the the actual ethos of what I was trying to get across.
To those readers who are fully aware, informed and practice good sexual health, please accept my sincere and complete apology: it was not my intention to categorise everyone as being ignorant, ill informed and reckless.
My intention was genuine however I put much of the article across as emotive, clumsy and insulting. Was not my intention.
I do believe in the theme of the post though and hope people can see past the way the message was delivered to some of the messages. | |||
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"HSE STI services in Ireland Carlow STI Clinic, Carlow District Hospital, Athy Road. Tel: 051 842 646 Clare STI Clinic, University Hospital Ennis. Tel: 061 482 382 Cork STI Clinic, South Infirmary Victoria University Hospital, Old Blackrock Road. Tel: 021 496 6844 STI Clinic, Youth Health Service, Penrose House, Penrose Quay, Cork City. Tel: 076 108 4150 Donegal GUM/ STI Clinic, Letterkenny General Hospital, Letterkenny. Tel: 074 912 3715 Dublin GUIDE Clinic, St. James’s Hospital, James’s Street, Dublin 8. Tel: 01 416 2315/6 STI Clinic, Mater Hospital, Eccles Street, Dublin 7. Tel: 01 803 2063 Gay Men’s Health Service, Baggot Street Clinic, 18 Upper Baggot St., Dublin 4. Tel: 01 669 9553 Galway STI Clinic, Portiuncula Hospital, Ballinasloe. Tel: 090 964 8372 (ext 676) University Hospital Galway, Newcastle Road. Tel: 091 525 200 Kerry STI Clinic, University Hospital Kerry, Tralee. Tel: 021 496 6844 Laois STI Clinic, Out patients Dept., Midland Regional Hospital, Block Rd., Portlaoise. Tel: 086 859 1273 Limerick STI Clinic, University Hospital Limerick, Dooradoyle. Tel: 061 482 382 Louth GUM Clinic, Louth County Hospital, Dublin Road, Dundalk. Tel: 086 824 1847 STI Clinic, Our Lady of Lourdes Hospital Drogheda. Tel: 086 824 1847 Mayo STI Clinic, Mayo General Hospital, Castlebar. Tel: 094 902 1733 (ext 3501) Monaghan GUM Clinic, Monaghan General Hospital, Monaghan. Tel: 086 824 1847 Sligo GUM Clinic, Sligo General Hospital, The Mall. Tel: 071 917 0473 Tipperary STI Clinic, South Tipperary General Hospital, Clonmel. Tel: 051 842 646 STI Clinic, University Hospital Nenagh. Tel: 061 482 382 Waterford STI Clinic, University Hospital Waterford Dunmore Road. Tel: 051 842 646 Westmeath STI Clinic, Midland Regional Hospital, Longford Road, Mullingar. Tel: 086 416 9830" Thanks RosyRed | |||
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"I’m delighted to see people talking about this subject. I know it can be very emotive and people can feel judged by some comments. The most important thing is to get as much information out there as possible. It’s everyones personal responsibility to look after their sexual health and the clinics offer a very discreet professional service. So it’s nothing to be scared of. I used to use my gp for my tests. But recently lost my medical card so I’m back out to the clinic cos it’s free and I had actually forgotten how brilliant they are out there. " From my own personal experience the HSE run a great service. Friendly and welcoming and professional. I can't fault them. The midwives did tell me they wished people used it for regular screenings rather than waiting for symptoms to develop. | |||
"I’m delighted to see people talking about this subject. I know it can be very emotive and people can feel judged by some comments. The most important thing is to get as much information out there as possible. It’s everyones personal responsibility to look after their sexual health and the clinics offer a very discreet professional service. So it’s nothing to be scared of. I used to use my gp for my tests. But recently lost my medical card so I’m back out to the clinic cos it’s free and I had actually forgotten how brilliant they are out there. From my own personal experience the HSE run a great service. Friendly and welcoming and professional. I can't fault them. The midwives did tell me they wished people used it for regular screenings rather than waiting for symptoms to develop. " Totally agree. They’re amazing out there. There might be a lot wrong with our health service. But this is something they’re doing right. | |||
