FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Single lady in a bar
Single lady in a bar
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Just curious if you were out tonight and seen a lady sitting alone would you approach her or chat her up?
I'm curious as anytime I say I haven't been chatted up in years I get "oh I'd chat you up etc etc'
However I have been in a fairly busy pub in Derry tonight for 3 hours not one person approached me and last night in letterkenny the same !
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think alot of men have lost the ability to chat a woman up nowadays.With so much technology and apps now it's almost as though the simple old fashioned chat up is gone and replaced by cheap and easy thrills from Tinder and the likes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you try to catch anyone's eye by giving them the slightly longer than comfortable look??"
I sat in middle of bar, not hidden away which is what I normally do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Do you try to catch anyone's eye by giving them the slightly longer than comfortable look??
I sat in middle of bar, not hidden away which is what I normally do. "
I'm going to have to watch you in action, for research purposes of course! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you try to catch anyone's eye by giving them the slightly longer than comfortable look??
I sat in middle of bar, not hidden away which is what I normally do.
I'm going to have to watch you in action, for research purposes of course!"
Lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you try to catch anyone's eye by giving them the slightly longer than comfortable look??
I sat in middle of bar, not hidden away which is what I normally do. "
Brave thing to do fair play to you. I would be too self conscious would probably sit in a corner hiding behind my phone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I dont bother with going a near girls in pubs/clubs bin there done it.
In recent years I was unsuccessful because of the reasons below.
1 she had a partner
2 she only wanted free booze
3 her friends where meeing her
4 she was to pissed
5 her partner was the bouncer
These are just some of the reasons why I personally dont bother in approaching women on their own in pubs/clubs. Also the list is just my experience.
9 times out of then in my opinion a girl is never alone in a pub. Or wont be alone for long
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I dont bother with going a near girls in pubs/clubs bin there done it.
In recent years I was unsuccessful because of the reasons below.
1 she had a partner
2 she only wanted free booze
3 her friends where meeing her
4 she was to pissed
5 her partner was the bouncer
These are just some of the reasons why I personally dont bother in approaching women on their own in pubs/clubs. Also the list is just my experience.
9 times out of then in my opinion a girl is never alone in a pub. Or wont be alone for long
"
3 hours, 4 drinks and I would never expect to be plyed with free drink. And I'm just on about even saying hello |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Do you try to catch anyone's eye by giving them the slightly longer than comfortable look??
I sat in middle of bar, not hidden away which is what I normally do.
Brave thing to do fair play to you. I would be too self conscious would probably sit in a corner hiding behind my phone."
That is what I normally do and after this weekend I will be back in the corner |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs... "
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I dont bother with going a near girls in pubs/clubs bin there done it.
In recent years I was unsuccessful because of the reasons below.
1 she had a partner
2 she only wanted free booze
3 her friends where meeing her
4 she was to pissed
5 her partner was the bouncer
These are just some of the reasons why I personally dont bother in approaching women on their own in pubs/clubs. Also the list is just my experience.
9 times out of then in my opinion a girl is never alone in a pub. Or wont be alone for long
3 hours, 4 drinks and I would never expect to be plyed with free drink. And I'm just on about even saying hello"
im just saying in my experience. But people are just wary these days of who to say hello to. You might not know what the reply will be or who might appear from somewhere eg partner or someone. I dunno but I use to see a lot when I use to drink. So I agree with you most wont even look at some people in pubs these days. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected"
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across "
thanks for complement I do apologise if a sound bitter or something I am just giving my personal experience. And no pun is being done toward the OP or anyone and again I apologise. But im a non drinker so I dont be in pubs or clubs often so that rules me out on the bitterness in pubs/clubs I guess  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across "
.how does one come across rude in a bar? I sat in middle of bar, left my phone in bag, hopped away to music, spoke to staff etc but thanks for advice |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across "
And one think I was always told always be polite to someone when they say hello etc as you never know when your paths would cross again . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across
And one think I was always told always be polite to someone when they say hello etc as you never know when your paths would cross again ."
oh me to I was brought up to be polite and have manners but I have witnessed arguments over people talking to women in bars in the past. But I must say there losing out on super fantastic looking lady thats for sure. Anyway have fun |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across
And one think I was always told always be polite to someone when they say hello etc as you never know when your paths would cross again . oh me to I was brought up to be polite and have manners but I have witnessed arguments over people talking to women in bars in the past. But I must say there losing out on super fantastic looking lady thats for sure. Anyway have fun "
Lol watched a row break out tonight and don't think there was a woman involved. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across
And one think I was always told always be polite to someone when they say hello etc as you never know when your paths would cross again . oh me to I was brought up to be polite and have manners but I have witnessed arguments over people talking to women in bars in the past. But I must say there losing out on super fantastic looking lady thats for sure. Anyway have fun
Lol watched a row break out tonight and don't think there was a woman involved. "
well that can also happen unfortunately lol the joys of bars you dont know what the night has in store  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Going to the original question . Yes I would , I would have no problem saying hello.
Starting a conversation is easily done in a polite way .
I've often invited to join the group I'm with .
It's a night out , no need for anyone to be on there own.
But having said that , I think I'm a little " old school" Irish.
It wouldn't be a hook up, it would be just being friendly. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Going to the original question . Yes I would , I would have no problem saying hello.
Starting a conversation is easily done in a polite way .
I've often invited to join the group I'm with .
It's a night out , no need for anyone to be on there own.
But having said that , I think I'm a little " old school" Irish.
It wouldn't be a hook up, it would be just being friendly. "
Exactly this was the point. I didn't go out with the "hook up mentality" I went out to a pub with live music to enjoy myself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I still love going out and chatting up girls can't beat some flirting building up sexual chemistry a connection plus its great for your confidence to be able to hold a conversation think the problem thease days is technology men are forgetting how to pull a girl much easier to use the phone and also 80 percent of girls and men are to d out of it to be able to function |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Can't understand why no one engaged with you!..I rarely go to bars on my own nowadays, but if I'd seen you sitting alone I'd have gone for the old fashioned eye contact first, said something silly,and if that made you smile,I'd have offered to buy you a drink!...mind you you'd probably have disappeared by the time I got back from the bar!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Jeez Steph...can't lie ..l am definitely the World's worst when twould come to chatting up a lady ... honestly...l am without a doubt THE shyest guy anyone wouid ever meet..l don't drink so wouldn't even be able to have the ol' " Dutch courage " in my corner to say hi to any lady and that's the truth ..BUT...say you were leaving the pub and it had started pouring rain while you were in the pub and l was going in and you had no umbrella or jacket l would of course offer my jacket or help you get to where you wanted to go warm and dry ...guess it's more of a action scenario than a talking one but as l said ,me having the courage to say hi to a lady on her own in the pub .. totally different situation for me... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Wemen have it different to men. A woman can walk into a pub/bar and know she will be hit on or she could pick a guy to bring home.
Men are different, if we want to meet somebody we have to work our ass off and buy them drinks or go for a meal or be charming( look at this site for example, if the first msg is not good enough the girl will delete the massage) a guy gets a message back and it feels like the best ego boost ever! This is why men cheat more than girls! If anyone shows a man any attention or complement them they can’t ignore it. It happens to girls every time the go out but a girl chatting up a guy happens once in a while, but when it happens to you it the greatest feeling ever and very hard to turn away |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Hi Steph
For me(Bruce), I’m always envious of those guys who have the level of self confidence to instigate such a chat, I do often struggle.
Add being polyamorous to the situation and most women I’ve spoken to run a mile (appreciate you’re on a swinging site, so perhaps your reaction would be different).
But, don’t let this one experience send you back to a corner.
Bruce |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just curious if you were out tonight and seen a lady sitting alone would you approach her or chat her up?
I'm curious as anytime I say I haven't been chatted up in years I get "oh I'd chat you up etc etc'
However I have been in a fairly busy pub in Derry tonight for 3 hours not one person approached me and last night in letterkenny the same !
"
Well I find that hard to believe that a guy didn't even said hello to you we were in a bar last night in Derry I went to the toilet and when I came back my wife was being chatting up by a young guy and I find this happen a lot well mostly in bars in donegal if you leave your wife unattended for any length of time so guy trying to get inside her knickers so is it donegal thing.
( the only thing she won't be wearing any) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just curious if you were out tonight and seen a lady sitting alone would you approach her or chat her up?
I'm curious as anytime I say I haven't been chatted up in years I get "oh I'd chat you up etc etc'
However I have been in a fairly busy pub in Derry tonight for 3 hours not one person approached me and last night in letterkenny the same !
Well I find that hard to believe that a guy didn't even said hello to you we were in a bar last night in Derry I went to the toilet and when I came back my wife was being chatting up by a young guy and I find this happen a lot well mostly in bars in donegal if you leave your wife unattended for any length of time so guy trying to get inside her knickers so is it donegal thing.
( the only thing she won't be wearing any) "
I wouldn't mind I actually went commando last night too ( something to tick of the bucket list) lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m surprised Steph, especially as you’re such good craic to talk to, I’m sure if they said hello you’d have had them beside you all night 
I have to admit though, I was out with friends last night and I didn’t notice other people because the craic was good in our group, so maybe (I know it’s a long shot) but maybe they were all busy with their own groups |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Hi Steph maybe a night out nearer to home like bundoran you won't be sitting to long at a bar you have the men tripping over themselves to to chat to you xx. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi Steph maybe a night out nearer to home like bundoran you won't be sitting to long at a bar you have the men tripping over themselves to to chat to you xx. "
Tried letterkenny on Friday night it was same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected"
And for ur own reason a lot of guys dont chat up women anymore  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
And for ur own reason a lot of guys dont chat up women anymore "
Ah I'll get over it but next time a guy says to me here "I'd chat you up" I will roll my eyes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
And for ur own reason a lot of guys dont chat up women anymore
Ah I'll get over it but next time a guy says to me here "I'd chat you up" I will roll my eyes "
I do the same when women say they would ride me here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
And for ur own reason a lot of guys dont chat up women anymore
Ah I'll get over it but next time a guy says to me here "I'd chat you up" I will roll my eyes
I do the same when women say they would ride me here "
Lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Your energy field has to be charged positively and you're radiating that out.
Add to that some lovely naughty thoughts which will bring out a bold smile/glint in your eyes.
Finally choose some guys you like the look of and make eye contact for a bit too long.
That normally gets their little heads thinking and try to approach you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Your energy field has to be charged positively and you're radiating that out.
Add to that some lovely naughty thoughts which will bring out a bold smile/glint in your eyes.
Finally choose some guys you like the look of and make eye contact for a bit too long.
That normally gets their little heads thinking and try to approach you. "
Tried all that dh, was in great form and all smiles and was sitting up looking around enjoying the music. But going by some of the posts guys just don't take the chance anymore. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I hate auto correct,as I was trying to say, I always say hello, or try chat to people in pubs. Worst that can happen is she says no.
I wonder tho if a man was there on his own would any lady's approach |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"Your energy field has to be charged positively and you're radiating that out.
Add to that some lovely naughty thoughts which will bring out a bold smile/glint in your eyes.
Finally choose some guys you like the look of and make eye contact for a bit too long.
That normally gets their little heads thinking and try to approach you.
Tried all that dh, was in great form and all smiles and was sitting up looking around enjoying the music. But going by some of the posts guys just don't take the chance anymore. "
Ahhh some still do but there are nights it just doesn't happen. Did you try changing the bar/pub to get a new choice?
Clubs are normally easier to get chatted up than the pub. Drawback is normally too much drink involved and that you can't hear your own words in the clubs because the music is too loud |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Your energy field has to be charged positively and you're radiating that out.
Add to that some lovely naughty thoughts which will bring out a bold smile/glint in your eyes.
Finally choose some guys you like the look of and make eye contact for a bit too long.
That normally gets their little heads thinking and try to approach you.
Tried all that dh, was in great form and all smiles and was sitting up looking around enjoying the music. But going by some of the posts guys just don't take the chance anymore.
Ahhh some still do but there are nights it just doesn't happen. Did you try changing the bar/pub to get a new choice?
Clubs are normally easier to get chatted up than the pub. Drawback is normally too much drink involved and that you can't hear your own words in the clubs because the music is too loud"
First time out in Derry and was alone so only went to the one place. First time to go out alone this weekend |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"Your energy field has to be charged positively and you're radiating that out.
Add to that some lovely naughty thoughts which will bring out a bold smile/glint in your eyes.
Finally choose some guys you like the look of and make eye contact for a bit too long.
That normally gets their little heads thinking and try to approach you.
Tried all that dh, was in great form and all smiles and was sitting up looking around enjoying the music. But going by some of the posts guys just don't take the chance anymore.
Ahhh some still do but there are nights it just doesn't happen. Did you try changing the bar/pub to get a new choice?
Clubs are normally easier to get chatted up than the pub. Drawback is normally too much drink involved and that you can't hear your own words in the clubs because the music is too loud
First time out in Derry and was alone so only went to the one place. First time to go out alone this weekend"
I think you did well simply by bracing it and put yourself out there. As others said, don't give up and certainly don't put yourself back into the corner.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you have an "ill fuckin stab you" look about you????"
MrB says this is why I never get chatted up, that I (unintentionally) give off a “don’t f**k with me” vibe, so I guess a lad would have to feel pretty confident to walk over... I dunno, it’s tricky out there! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
the song video killer the Radio star, is perhaps an indication of how the phone has killed the art of conversation...that & peoples own caution...gone are the days of conversation at the bus stop, in a shop...the art of conversation & friendly conversation ( without a goal) does appear to be dead.
Steph I applaud your courage in going outside your comfort zone ... your roadtrip may not be quite what you had envisaged but remember it's the journey not the destination..the memories & experiences outweigh the disappointments. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"the song video killer the Radio star, is perhaps an indication of how the phone has killed the art of conversation...that & peoples own caution...gone are the days of conversation at the bus stop, in a shop...the art of conversation & friendly conversation ( without a goal) does appear to be dead.
Steph I applaud your courage in going outside your comfort zone ... your roadtrip may not be quite what you had envisaged but remember it's the journey not the destination..the memories & experiences outweigh the disappointments."
Actually totally enjoyed the trip, was under no illusion heading out alone that I would pull etc but the amount of times I have chatted to guys here and said I don't get chatted up when out, and the reply is always oh I'd chat you up. Such bullshit lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You could go to another bar and get chatting you loads of times, I wouldn’t go back in the corner as you put it based on one or two nights out. This happens men alot, out for few drinks and no interaction.
On another note It’s sad in general that people can’t have conversations with each other without it having to lead anywhere, if I approached a lady would they think I’m trying it on or just being friendly? I’d like to think Irish people are very friendly and chat for the craic too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across thanks for complement I do apologise if a sound bitter or something I am just giving my personal experience. And no pun is being done toward the OP or anyone and again I apologise. But im a non drinker so I dont be in pubs or clubs often so that rules me out on the bitterness in pubs/clubs I guess "
My answer wasnt aimed at you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across .how does one come across rude in a bar? I sat in middle of bar, left my phone in bag, hopped away to music, spoke to staff etc but thanks for advice"
I didnt say you were rude. All i was saying that sometimes we give off a persona which isnt welcoming. Sometimes by looks. Body language. Ive been told i can look snobbish and unapproachable which isnt the case |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across .how does one come across rude in a bar? I sat in middle of bar, left my phone in bag, hopped away to music, spoke to staff etc but thanks for advice
I didnt say you were rude. All i was saying that sometimes we give off a persona which isnt welcoming. Sometimes by looks. Body language. Ive been told i can look snobbish and unapproachable which isnt the case"
Yes and I know I can be like that but I honestly was not like that last night. I sat in middle of bar, no phone out and smiled away while enjoying the music |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wrong pub, wrong city or just bad men. I always say hello to women that are alone in pubs, I know for sure that in 99% of the times she will smile back and turn her head in the other direction, but there's those very few times that she talks back. But that's life, it's not always sunny and it's not always rainy.
Try following the simple rule, sit or stand in 5 places for 5 minutes each time, if you don't see anyone approaching or no eye contact move to the next pub. After the 5th pub go home, ot was not your night.
Also try Dublin and let me know 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think alot of men have lost the ability to chat a woman up nowadays.With so much technology and apps now it's almost as though the simple old fashioned chat up is gone and replaced by cheap and easy thrills from Tinder and the likes."
I agree and social meets are so difficult for some also now with all the keyboard warriors. I much prefer a chat face to face over a cup of tea. Even a quick one just to see the person and see if the chemistry is there etc. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"And isn't that day gone now where men have to approach women. What about the other way round? Women approaching men saying that they would have a hell of a lot to choose from in irish pubs...
Jeez I just managed to go out alone at 45 give me a chance and the one time I did try to be forward and chat a guy up I was very publicly rejected
May i say you are lovely. But just reading your replies has a bit of a bitter tone to it. May a suggest you dnt take that into the bar with you. Possibly its a vibe you give off hence the non approach look. Dnt wish to be rude but thats how it comes across .how does one come across rude in a bar? I sat in middle of bar, left my phone in bag, hopped away to music, spoke to staff etc but thanks for advice
I didnt say you were rude. All i was saying that sometimes we give off a persona which isnt welcoming. Sometimes by looks. Body language. Ive been told i can look snobbish and unapproachable which isnt the case
Yes and I know I can be like that but I honestly was not like that last night. I sat in middle of bar, no phone out and smiled away while enjoying the music "
Then its their loss and maybe they dnt deserve you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I must admit, Ive always been hopeless at approaching women in a bar. Useless at telling if they want or don't want to be approached and then also useless at the chatting to them part. So I err on the side of caution and don't approach unless she makes first contact of some sort.
Definitely surprised to hear that nobody even said hi to the lovely OP, all the same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ocforuMan
over a year ago
Cork City |
"Do you try to catch anyone's eye by giving them the slightly longer than comfortable look??
I sat in middle of bar, not hidden away which is what I normally do.
Brave thing to do fair play to you. I would be too self conscious would probably sit in a corner hiding behind my phone.
That is what I normally do and after this weekend I will be back in the corner "
nobody puts baby in the corner |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Steph I don’t mean this to sound rude or anything but having met you at a few social events in the past you do have a very unapproachable vibe going on. Yes you say you were all smiles and bopping away to the music but a lot of it has to do with your body language too you can seem very closed off.
Please don’t think I’m being bitchy saying it but I do applaud you for your bravery of going out on your own and putting yourself out there maybe next time go out and try and relax and not be conscious that you aren’t being chatted up because thinking like that will close you off a bit without you even realising it which will put guys off. Go out enjoy yourself you are a very attractive women you just need to loosen up and have some positive body language |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Steph I don’t mean this to sound rude or anything but having met you at a few social events in the past you do have a very unapproachable vibe going on. Yes you say you were all smiles and bopping away to the music but a lot of it has to do with your body language too you can seem very closed off.
Please don’t think I’m being bitchy saying it but I do applaud you for your bravery of going out on your own and putting yourself out there maybe next time go out and try and relax and not be conscious that you aren’t being chatted up because thinking like that will close you off a bit without you even realising it which will put guys off. Go out enjoy yourself you are a very attractive women you just need to loosen up and have some positive body language "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Steph I don’t mean this to sound rude or anything but having met you at a few social events in the past you do have a very unapproachable vibe going on. Yes you say you were all smiles and bopping away to the music but a lot of it has to do with your body language too you can seem very closed off.
Please don’t think I’m being bitchy saying it but I do applaud you for your bravery of going out on your own and putting yourself out there maybe next time go out and try and relax and not be conscious that you aren’t being chatted up because thinking like that will close you off a bit without you even realising it which will put guys off. Go out enjoy yourself you are a very attractive women you just need to loosen up and have some positive body language "
Thanks for pointing my flaws out I have made quite a few changes since I was at any of the mingles and attended a couple of socials since and have got out there and chatted to people. Very hard to attend a social or mingle on your own and I will admit at one or two I have been unapproachable but when other women are a lot more forward and outgoing what can one do. But thanks for your comments |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Steph I don’t mean this to sound rude or anything but having met you at a few social events in the past you do have a very unapproachable vibe going on. Yes you say you were all smiles and bopping away to the music but a lot of it has to do with your body language too you can seem very closed off.
Please don’t think I’m being bitchy saying it but I do applaud you for your bravery of going out on your own and putting yourself out there maybe next time go out and try and relax and not be conscious that you aren’t being chatted up because thinking like that will close you off a bit without you even realising it which will put guys off. Go out enjoy yourself you are a very attractive women you just need to loosen up and have some positive body language
Thanks for pointing my flaws out I have made quite a few changes since I was at any of the mingles and attended a couple of socials since and have got out there and chatted to people. Very hard to attend a social or mingle on your own and I will admit at one or two I have been unapproachable but when other women are a lot more forward and outgoing what can one do. But thanks for your comments"
Sorry I didn’t mean to cause any offence I actually think you are very brave putting yourself out there I know I wouldn’t be able to do it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I agree with previous posters about lads losing the power of speech and ability to chat up. Far to much reliance on tinder and similar sites. Relying on the swipe right mentality and the annonomity of it if they reject you. Lads need to grow a pair again and at least say hi in bars, you never know where it might get you.
On another note of I had been out I definitely would have at least chanced a hi. And do find it easier if the woman is at the bar, less eyes watching you walking over and the walk of shame if you get told where to shove it ha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have to say that I'm really surprised at the amount of people who wouldn't approach a person on there own at a bar. And I don't mean that with any disrespect, I just don't see what the big deal is.
We are all just the same at the end of the day , and company is normally welcomed by most people. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Do you have an "ill fuckin stab you" look about you????
MrB says this is why I never get chatted up, that I (unintentionally) give off a “don’t f**k with me” vibe, so I guess a lad would have to feel pretty confident to walk over... I dunno, it’s tricky out there!"
The night u met mr B it must have being a "fuck me "vibe |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Stephen... Unfortunately, these days guys are really scared to start anything as they afraid they might be sued for sexual harassment 
I have twin sister. Few times happened that one of us went to the restroom, another left at the bar. Some guys were smiling to me, I've returned the smile. It costs nothing to be nice. When my sister back those guys were a bit in shock
As we both are natural ginger hair with blonde and bit brown highlights, Smokey is always blonde |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Stephen... Unfortunately, these days guys are really scared to start anything as they afraid they might be sued for sexual harassment
I have twin sister. Few times happened that one of us went to the restroom, another left at the bar. Some guys were smiling to me, I've returned the smile. It costs nothing to be nice. When my sister back those guys were a bit in shock
As we both are natural ginger hair with blonde and bit brown highlights, Smokey is always blonde "
Autofill grrr it should be Stephs of course |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I hate auto correct,as I was trying to say, I always say hello, or try chat to people in pubs. Worst that can happen is she says no.
I wonder tho if a man was there on his own would any lady's approach"
Well..I've been to loads of pub gigs on my own all over Munster & Leinster and never once has any lady approached ..could be a lot to do with my AC/DC t shirt though.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Depends on if the woman looked approachable or not. If she seemed pleasant and out generally enjoying herself I'd probably go over and chat for a few minutes...
If she had her arms crossed or was too busy to lift her head away from her phone to acknowledge people around her I'd leave well alone...
Perception is projection Op so...
Be the flame not the moth!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Depends on if the woman looked approachable or not. If she seemed pleasant and out generally enjoying herself I'd probably go over and chat for a few minutes...
If she had her arms crossed or was too busy to lift her head away from her phone to acknowledge people around her I'd leave well alone...
Perception is projection Op so...
Be the flame not the moth! "
Sat with my arms by my side and phone in my bag as someone else pointed out earlier I have been unapproachable at socials. So I actually did try and it wasn't about pulling a guy. I was a "single" female as in I was completely on my own for the few hours. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just curious if you were out tonight and seen a lady sitting alone would you approach her or chat her up?
I'm curious as anytime I say I haven't been chatted up in years I get "oh I'd chat you up etc etc'
However I have been in a fairly busy pub in Derry tonight for 3 hours not one person approached me and last night in letterkenny the same !
"
next time I see you in fiddlers |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyway guys cannot approach women any more due to the likes of the metoo bullshit and the likes of that."
So noone Cal say hi how are you? You enjoying the music? Fir fear of metoo issue but yet no prob saying fancy a fuck on here.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyway guys cannot approach women any more due to the likes of the metoo bullshit and the likes of that.
So noone Cal say hi how are you? You enjoying the music? Fir fear of metoo issue but yet no prob saying fancy a fuck on here.
"
exactly because on here it's not face to face and a person cannot be accused of something because of that,but apart from all of that "fancy a fuck next week?" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyway guys cannot approach women any more due to the likes of the metoo bullshit and the likes of that.
So noone Cal say hi how are you? You enjoying the music? Fir fear of metoo issue but yet no prob saying fancy a fuck on here.
exactly because on here it's not face to face and a person cannot be accused of something because of that,but apart from all of that "fancy a fuck next week?" "
I'm back to work and hanging up my Fab boots but thanks for asking  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I don't drink so I'm not into sitting at a bar I tend to go out for the food dancing and women so been a single man if I was in the pub and I was by myself having dinner and I seen a lady alone by herself for more than 15 minutes I'd approach her introduce myself ask her can I buy her a drink and see if she would like to join me for dinner has worked alot in the past for me helps to be observant of your surrounds at all times never know who or what you could miss |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyway guys cannot approach women any more due to the likes of the metoo bullshit and the likes of that.
So noone Cal say hi how are you? You enjoying the music? Fir fear of metoo issue but yet no prob saying fancy a fuck on here.
exactly because on here it's not face to face and a person cannot be accused of something because of that,but apart from all of that "fancy a fuck next week?"
I'm back to work and hanging up my Fab boots but thanks for asking "
Pffffff unhang them I don't make the offer to everyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyway guys cannot approach women any more due to the likes of the metoo bullshit and the likes of that.
So noone Cal say hi how are you? You enjoying the music? Fir fear of metoo issue but yet no prob saying fancy a fuck on here.
exactly because on here it's not face to face and a person cannot be accused of something because of that,but apart from all of that "fancy a fuck next week?"
I'm back to work and hanging up my Fab boots but thanks for asking
Pffffff unhang them I don't make the offer to everyone"
Well if that's the case pencil me in quick |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyway guys cannot approach women any more due to the likes of the metoo bullshit and the likes of that.
So noone Cal say hi how are you? You enjoying the music? Fir fear of metoo issue but yet no prob saying fancy a fuck on here.
exactly because on here it's not face to face and a person cannot be accused of something because of that,but apart from all of that "fancy a fuck next week?"
I'm back to work and hanging up my Fab boots but thanks for asking
Pffffff unhang them I don't make the offer to everyone
Well if that's the case pencil me in quick "
would be better to fill you in slow |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Anyway guys cannot approach women any more due to the likes of the metoo bullshit and the likes of that.
So noone Cal say hi how are you? You enjoying the music? Fir fear of metoo issue but yet no prob saying fancy a fuck on here.
exactly because on here it's not face to face and a person cannot be accused of something because of that,but apart from all of that "fancy a fuck next week?"
I'm back to work and hanging up my Fab boots but thanks for asking
Pffffff unhang them I don't make the offer to everyone
Well if that's the case pencil me in quick
would be better to fill you in slow "
Oh you like to tease and draw it out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Anyway guys cannot approach women any more due to the likes of the metoo bullshit and the likes of that.
So noone Cal say hi how are you? You enjoying the music? Fir fear of metoo issue but yet no prob saying fancy a fuck on here.
exactly because on here it's not face to face and a person cannot be accused of something because of that,but apart from all of that "fancy a fuck next week?"
I'm back to work and hanging up my Fab boots but thanks for asking
Pffffff unhang them I don't make the offer to everyone
Well if that's the case pencil me in quick
would be better to fill you in slow
Oh you like to tease and draw it out "
tis usually the best way |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm sure the lads here that say they would chat you up are probably talking about a Fab meet and greet situation rather than on a vanilla night out. Times have changed, and a lot ( no means all) of guys on here can become too reliant on Fab and it's social side, at the experience of attempting to flirt / pull in the vanilla social scenes.
Even in the vanilla world ( unless it's an organised singles night somewhere), most lads are out with a buddy / buddies, and similarly it is rare to see a lady out on her own, thus much more intimidating for a guy 35-55 to approach than two guys approaching 2 ladies.
Personally I wound be intimated but I've always had friend who were very confident and psychology strong in work and sports, but were ultra timid when it came to chatting to ladies on nights out. They would stand next to their friend(s) who could chat and approach a couple or more ladies. Lads like that don't usually get less intimidated with age. Some of them have settled down with strong women ( who chatted them up ) over the years, some are confirmed shrinking violets to this day.
Long story short Steph, my advise would be either socialize with a wing-woman or do the approaching yourself,and remember, the average guys lack of confidence in chatting up skills is no reflection on you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm sure the lads here that say they would chat you up are probably talking about a Fab meet and greet situation rather than on a vanilla night out. Times have changed, and a lot ( no means all) of guys on here can become too reliant on Fab and it's social side, at the experience of attempting to flirt / pull in the vanilla social scenes.
Even in the vanilla world ( unless it's an organised singles night somewhere), most lads are out with a buddy / buddies, and similarly it is rare to see a lady out on her own, thus much more intimidating for a guy 35-55 to approach than two guys approaching 2 ladies.
Personally I wound be intimated but I've always had friend who were very confident and psychology strong in work and sports, but were ultra timid when it came to chatting to ladies on nights out. They would stand next to their friend(s) who could chat and approach a couple or more ladies. Lads like that don't usually get less intimidated with age. Some of them have settled down with strong women ( who chatted them up ) over the years, some are confirmed shrinking violets to this day.
Long story short Steph, my advise would be either socialize with a wing-woman or do the approaching yourself,and remember, the average guys lack of confidence in chatting up skills is no reflection on you."
All my wing women get chatted up I'm usually the wing women lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Think the problem is you are a stunning woman and guess every guy that sees you at the bar assume you are taken and your partner just stepped out to go for a smoke or something |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sure the lads here that say they would chat you up are probably talking about a Fab meet and greet situation rather than on a vanilla night out. Times have changed, and a lot ( no means all) of guys on here can become too reliant on Fab and it's social side, at the experience of attempting to flirt / pull in the vanilla social scenes.
Even in the vanilla world ( unless it's an organised singles night somewhere), most lads are out with a buddy / buddies, and similarly it is rare to see a lady out on her own, thus much more intimidating for a guy 35-55 to approach than two guys approaching 2 ladies.
Personally I wound be intimated but I've always had friend who were very confident and psychology strong in work and sports, but were ultra timid when it came to chatting to ladies on nights out. They would stand next to their friend(s) who could chat and approach a couple or more ladies. Lads like that don't usually get less intimidated with age. Some of them have settled down with strong women ( who chatted them up ) over the years, some are confirmed shrinking violets to this day.
Long story short Steph, my advise would be either socialize with a wing-woman or do the approaching yourself,and remember, the average guys lack of confidence in chatting up skills is no reflection on you."
Should read...personally I wouldn't be intimadated....but that's only because I've never been intimidated to chat to anyone and my work involved a lot of public speaking and dealing one to one with people. Everyone is different for different reasons. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm sure the lads here that say they would chat you up are probably talking about a Fab meet and greet situation rather than on a vanilla night out. Times have changed, and a lot ( no means all) of guys on here can become too reliant on Fab and it's social side, at the experience of attempting to flirt / pull in the vanilla social scenes.
Even in the vanilla world ( unless it's an organised singles night somewhere), most lads are out with a buddy / buddies, and similarly it is rare to see a lady out on her own, thus much more intimidating for a guy 35-55 to approach than two guys approaching 2 ladies.
Personally I wound be intimated but I've always had friend who were very confident and psychology strong in work and sports, but were ultra timid when it came to chatting to ladies on nights out. They would stand next to their friend(s) who could chat and approach a couple or more ladies. Lads like that don't usually get less intimidated with age. Some of them have settled down with strong women ( who chatted them up ) over the years, some are confirmed shrinking violets to this day.
Long story short Steph, my advise would be either socialize with a wing-woman or do the approaching yourself,and remember, the average guys lack of confidence in chatting up skills is no reflection on you.
Should read...personally I wouldn't be intimadated....but that's only because I've never been intimidated to chat to anyone and my work involved a lot of public speaking and dealing one to one with people. Everyone is different for different reasons."
Maybe it's a country thing but I know if I was out at a gig in my local and seen a guy or girl obviously on their own, I would ask them did they want to join our company.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm sure the lads here that say they would chat you up are probably talking about a Fab meet and greet situation rather than on a vanilla night out. Times have changed, and a lot ( no means all) of guys on here can become too reliant on Fab and it's social side, at the experience of attempting to flirt / pull in the vanilla social scenes.
Even in the vanilla world ( unless it's an organised singles night somewhere), most lads are out with a buddy / buddies, and similarly it is rare to see a lady out on her own, thus much more intimidating for a guy 35-55 to approach than two guys approaching 2 ladies.
Personally I wound be intimated but I've always had friend who were very confident and psychology strong in work and sports, but were ultra timid when it came to chatting to ladies on nights out. They would stand next to their friend(s) who could chat and approach a couple or more ladies. Lads like that don't usually get less intimidated with age. Some of them have settled down with strong women ( who chatted them up ) over the years, some are confirmed shrinking violets to this day.
Long story short Steph, my advise would be either socialize with a wing-woman or do the approaching yourself,and remember, the average guys lack of confidence in chatting up skills is no reflection on you.
All my wing women get chatted up I'm usually the wing women lol "
Then for whatever reason ( good looks / confidence / tones of a man-eating dominatrix ) you should probably concentrate on approaching confident men yourself. If you choose to approach guys you seem to intimadate, then you'd best google skills and tips on how to approach wild rabbits |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm sure the lads here that say they would chat you up are probably talking about a Fab meet and greet situation rather than on a vanilla night out. Times have changed, and a lot ( no means all) of guys on here can become too reliant on Fab and it's social side, at the experience of attempting to flirt / pull in the vanilla social scenes.
Even in the vanilla world ( unless it's an organised singles night somewhere), most lads are out with a buddy / buddies, and similarly it is rare to see a lady out on her own, thus much more intimidating for a guy 35-55 to approach than two guys approaching 2 ladies.
Personally I wound be intimated but I've always had friend who were very confident and psychology strong in work and sports, but were ultra timid when it came to chatting to ladies on nights out. They would stand next to their friend(s) who could chat and approach a couple or more ladies. Lads like that don't usually get less intimidated with age. Some of them have settled down with strong women ( who chatted them up ) over the years, some are confirmed shrinking violets to this day.
Long story short Steph, my advise would be either socialize with a wing-woman or do the approaching yourself,and remember, the average guys lack of confidence in chatting up skills is no reflection on you.
All my wing women get chatted up I'm usually the wing women lol
Then for whatever reason ( good looks / confidence / tones of a man-eating dominatrix ) you should probably concentrate on approaching confident men yourself. If you choose to approach guys you seem to intimadate, then you'd best google skills and tips on how to approach wild rabbits "
Me intimadating lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Interesting topic "OP".
It really depends on the night that's in it and my mood if I want to approach girls or not.
I think it's easier been away to talk to girls as alot of girls like my accent so it makes it easier to have a conversation.
I find personally that irish men don't seem to have the confidence to a approach ladies or if they do they make them feel uncomfortable.
What I love about been in a bigger city always someone to chat too.
Op your a beauitful women I just think its a lack of confidence with irish men in general.
Next time maybe you do some approaching. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Actually totally enjoyed the trip, was under no illusion heading out alone that I would pull etc but the amount of times I have chatted to guys here and said I don't get chatted up when out, and the reply is always oh I'd chat you up. Such bullshit lol"
Steph your social experiment has shown the art of welcoming a stranger is gone ... & that many of the Fab Men are "all talk" as many women have suspected.
it would be interesting to know how many men would have turned up for an NSA social drink in each town you were stopping had you issued an invite.
again kudos and you have proved a woman can travel alone without being bothered by unwanted attention |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ommobMan
over a year ago
hotel |
"Just curious if you were out tonight and seen a lady sitting alone would you approach her or chat her up?
I'm curious as anytime I say I haven't been chatted up in years I get "oh I'd chat you up etc etc'
However I have been in a fairly busy pub in Derry tonight for 3 hours not one person approached me and last night in letterkenny the same !
"
Very seldom you see a lady sitting alone at a bar ? The reason ( i think ) guys dont say "hello"is their wifes or partner is sitting behind them burning holes in the back of their heads, any time i even say hello to a female i get daggers, but she can and does get chatted up all night and i dont mind |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *alrosMan
over a year ago
Limerick/Dublin/Beziers France |
I couldn't reply privately as I am above your age profile. For me I would have to think about it a lot as I would not want to be seen as pushy and trying to take advantage of a woman on her own. I know being a man on his own in a bar its a very lonely spot so i know exactly how you feel....just wish i was there. .I am originally from outside Derry in Donegal so know the area well....Would so so love to hear from you as I can't contact you due to the age profile.
Thanks
Tony |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This is an interesting thread and if you don't mind me asking with the greatest respect, what kind of guys are you trying to attract? I'm in no way trying to put you down as I think your an attractive looking woman but the real world is so different to fab where the odds are greatly in favour of wemon, I don't mean to sound like an ass but you'll find the majority of men won't randomly chat up a lady on her own in a pub as they might feel a little creepy, but would be much more inclined to approach groups with a few wing men |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is an interesting thread and if you don't mind me asking with the greatest respect, what kind of guys are you trying to attract? I'm in no way trying to put you down as I think your an attractive looking woman but the real world is so different to fab where the odds are greatly in favour of wemon, I don't mean to sound like an ass but you'll find the majority of men won't randomly chat up a lady on her own in a pub as they might feel a little creepy, but would be much more inclined to approach groups with a few wing men"
Tbh it wasn't about been chatted up but the fact that we are a nation of friendly people and yet noone asked was I enjoying the music, or even a hello. I didn't go out with the attitude to pull I went out to experience been out alone have a few drinks and enjoy some music. But from all the relies noone chats to anyone in case they get accused of sexual harassment. I was only looking for a conversation but as you said the replies have been interesting |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Just curious if you were out tonight and seen a lady sitting alone would you approach her or chat her up?
I'm curious as anytime I say I haven't been chatted up in years I get "oh I'd chat you up etc etc'
However I have been in a fairly busy pub in Derry tonight for 3 hours not one person approached me and last night in letterkenny the same !
"
If I was in the same bar as the lovely you, it would be a pleasure to chat to you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is an interesting thread and if you don't mind me asking with the greatest respect, what kind of guys are you trying to attract? I'm in no way trying to put you down as I think your an attractive looking woman but the real world is so different to fab where the odds are greatly in favour of wemon, I don't mean to sound like an ass but you'll find the majority of men won't randomly chat up a lady on her own in a pub as they might feel a little creepy, but would be much more inclined to approach groups with a few wing men
Tbh it wasn't about been chatted up but the fact that we are a nation of friendly people and yet noone asked was I enjoying the music, or even a hello. I didn't go out with the attitude to pull I went out to experience been out alone have a few drinks and enjoy some music. But from all the relies noone chats to anyone in case they get accused of sexual harassment. I was only looking for a conversation but as you said the replies have been interesting"
I think it just proves we're much more friendly down south, you know where to go on your next road trip  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is an interesting thread and if you don't mind me asking with the greatest respect, what kind of guys are you trying to attract? I'm in no way trying to put you down as I think your an attractive looking woman but the real world is so different to fab where the odds are greatly in favour of wemon, I don't mean to sound like an ass but you'll find the majority of men won't randomly chat up a lady on her own in a pub as they might feel a little creepy, but would be much more inclined to approach groups with a few wing men
Tbh it wasn't about been chatted up but the fact that we are a nation of friendly people and yet noone asked was I enjoying the music, or even a hello. I didn't go out with the attitude to pull I went out to experience been out alone have a few drinks and enjoy some music. But from all the relies noone chats to anyone in case they get accused of sexual harassment. I was only looking for a conversation but as you said the replies have been interesting
I think it just proves we're much more friendly down south, you know where to go on your next road trip "
Was in letterkenny Friday night lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well let's be honest you ladies are never happy. Because if you a guy tried to chat you would probably say he was a pest and when guys don't chat they are in the wrong as well. So guys can't win. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well let's be honest you ladies are never happy. Because if you a guy tried to chat you would probably say he was a pest and when guys don't chat they are in the wrong as well. So guys can't win. "
Sorry not all of us like that. If anyone male or female spoke to me last night I would have gladly spoken to them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well let's be honest you ladies are never happy. Because if you a guy tried to chat you would probably say he was a pest and when guys don't chat they are in the wrong as well. So guys can't win.
Sorry not all of us like that. If anyone male or female spoke to me last night I would have gladly spoken to them."
I have no reason to doubt you. But I stick by what I've already said. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well let's be honest you ladies are never happy. Because if you a guy tried to chat you would probably say he was a pest and when guys don't chat they are in the wrong as well. So guys can't win.
Sorry not all of us like that. If anyone male or female spoke to me last night I would have gladly spoken to them."
Fair dues to you for going out on your own in a town you don’t know. I suspect a large % of people wouldn’t have the self confidence to do that. Just my tuppance worth. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Well let's be honest you ladies are never happy. Because if you a guy tried to chat you would probably say he was a pest and when guys don't chat they are in the wrong as well. So guys can't win.
Sorry not all of us like that. If anyone male or female spoke to me last night I would have gladly spoken to them.
Fair dues to you for going out on your own in a town you don’t know. I suspect a large % of people wouldn’t have the self confidence to do that. Just my tuppance worth."
Thanks hopefully next time I'll have the confidence to chat to someone other than the bar staff |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well let's be honest you ladies are never happy. Because if you a guy tried to chat you would probably say he was a pest and when guys don't chat they are in the wrong as well. So guys can't win.
Sorry not all of us like that. If anyone male or female spoke to me last night I would have gladly spoken to them.
Fair dues to you for going out on your own in a town you don’t know. I suspect a large % of people wouldn’t have the self confidence to do that. Just my tuppance worth.
Thanks hopefully next time I'll have the confidence to chat to someone other than the bar staff "
I really hope you do. Put it like this after taking a look at your pictures, If you struck up a conversation with me, I would be sticking around! And having read this thread you do come across as quite normal and pleasant. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is an interesting thread and if you don't mind me asking with the greatest respect, what kind of guys are you trying to attract? I'm in no way trying to put you down as I think your an attractive looking woman but the real world is so different to fab where the odds are greatly in favour of wemon, I don't mean to sound like an ass but you'll find the majority of men won't randomly chat up a lady on her own in a pub as they might feel a little creepy, but would be much more inclined to approach groups with a few wing men
Tbh it wasn't about been chatted up but the fact that we are a nation of friendly people and yet noone asked was I enjoying the music, or even a hello. I didn't go out with the attitude to pull I went out to experience been out alone have a few drinks and enjoy some music. But from all the relies noone chats to anyone in case they get accused of sexual harassment. I was only looking for a conversation but as you said the replies have been interesting
I think it just proves we're much more friendly down south, you know where to go on your next road trip
Was in letterkenny Friday night lol"
Geography speaking |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just curious if you were out tonight and seen a lady sitting alone would you approach her or chat her up?
I'm curious as anytime I say I haven't been chatted up in years I get "oh I'd chat you up etc etc'
However I have been in a fairly
busyy pub in Derry tonight for 3 hours not one person approached me and last night in letterkenny the same !
"
I spot u alone at a bar,make sure to make eye contact with u few times before I approach u where I open with a comment on how wonderfull you look your dress or hair whatever etc I tell u how awfully bad the service and drink is in this lousy establishment and ask u to accompany me, to mine to share a bottle off fine wine where we can hear one another speak and on the off chance this fails I turn around and head to next single lady alone at the bar  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Just curious if you were out tonight and seen a lady sitting alone would you approach her or chat her up?
I'm curious as anytime I say I haven't been chatted up in years I get "oh I'd chat you up etc etc'
However I have been in a fairly
busyy pub in Derry tonight for 3 hours not one person approached me and last night in letterkenny the same !
I spot u alone at a bar,make sure to make eye contact with u few times before I approach u where I open with a comment on how wonderfull you look your dress or hair whatever etc I tell u how awfully bad the service and drink is in this lousy establishment and ask u to accompany me, to mine to share a bottle off fine wine where we can hear one another speak and on the off chance this fails I turn around and head to next single lady alone at the bar "
Good man |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Funnily enough I always get chatted up when I'm out. Mostly when I'm waiting to be served at the bar or standing by a table. Not so much if I was sitting down at a table. Maybe it looks like I'm waiting for someone.. I was told that I have one of those faces that people like to talk to lol  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ohnsmithMan
over a year ago
South Tipperary |
"Funnily enough I always get chatted up when I'm out. Mostly when I'm waiting to be served at the bar or standing by a table. Not so much if I was sitting down at a table. Maybe it looks like I'm waiting for someone.. I was told that I have one of those faces that people like to talk to lol "
where you social in Cork? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Funnily enough I always get chatted up when I'm out. Mostly when I'm waiting to be served at the bar or standing by a table. Not so much if I was sitting down at a table. Maybe it looks like I'm waiting for someone.. I was told that I have one of those faces that people like to talk to lol "
Mmmmmm I can see why! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oni69Man
over a year ago
Belfast |
"Just curious if you were out tonight and seen a lady sitting alone would you approach her or chat her up?
I'm curious as anytime I say I haven't been chatted up in years I get "oh I'd chat you up etc etc'
However I have been in a fairly busy pub in Derry tonight for 3 hours not one person approached me and last night in letterkenny the same !
"
I would .. I will be in Derry for the weekend today if you up there I definitely would .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
First off I commend the OP on taking a step to go out on her own to just enjoy herself! It’s not easy to do that, especially for a woman! So, I commend her on Her courage.
The art of conversation has been lost I think and I blame these very devices we are using right now. POF and TINDER are opened on the phone to see who is about instead of opening their eyes and looking! As a bartender I’ve seen this first hand!! I know the OP didn’t have her phone out, she made a real effort and this time it didn’t work, sadly.
As a person who has travelled on my own extensively I have faced the same situation but somehow I just end up chatting away.
Next week I’m off and plan to do what the OP done - visit a few towns for a bit of craic. Am I or do I expect to pull, no, but hopefully a bit of craic and a chat and who knows!
So Cork, Kilkenny and Galway here I come!! ?? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"Maybe they think your out of their league?
I'm not out of anyone's league and what does it cost to say hello. "
derry is normally a very friendly spot to chat to people, try paders pub next time and let me know and we can sit at each end of bar and see who chats up who lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
