FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Fab speed dating nite
Fab speed dating nite
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"Never said it was was just an idea for single people to meet other single people and possible new playmates as when going to socials etc most people already know each other and tend to stay in there wee cliques and not mingle with new folk " Great idea | |||
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"It's a good idea, just wrong country" Because ?? | |||
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"Because i'm in england "Oh ffs why bother | |||
"Never said it was was just an idea for single people to meet other single people and possible new playmates as when going to socials etc most people already know each other and tend to stay in there wee cliques and not mingle with new folk " I respectfully disagree, having attended many socials over the years the people who use the word cliques are the ones who don't make the effort to mingle. We have always made new friends at any social we've attended by going and talking to people throughout the night. Speed dating for dating says exactly what it is  | |||
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"If you’re looking for volunteers for attending, I’m definitely in!! I think it’s a great idea!! " | |||
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Logistics would be difficult on this one it would have to be set up in a public place where people can gather but you would have to book some where and probably under the pretense of it being a speed dating night! Just for swingers with out anyone else knowing.
I think a lot of people would be interested if this was the case where the thought of a sex club may just be too intense for people dipping there toe in the water for the first time.
Good luck with it OP is what I say and go for it.
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"Mildmovement, I think this is intended as a social meet & greet event, I didnt see any reference to a "sex club" as the venue, most M&G events tend to be in public spaces, such as a pub or a function room, whatever happens after the event is a private matter. there is no sex or guarantee of sex at most M&G events." I agree, but isn’t exactly what I meant! Even at the socials it’s still a large crowd in a corner of a pub or function room and can be intimidating for some to walk up to strangers. | |||
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"Never said it was was just an idea for single people to meet other single people and possible new playmates as when going to socials etc most people already know each other and tend to stay in there wee cliques and not mingle with new folk I respectfully disagree, having attended many socials over the years the people who use the word cliques are the ones who don't make the effort to mingle. We have always made new friends at any social we've attended by going and talking to people throughout the night. Speed dating for dating says exactly what it is "Good point, I agree | |||
"OP, great idea, I think the interest would be good also as not everyone is good at mingling in a new large crowds so this gives them that little extra push to talk to everyone. If they aren’t their cup of tea then they only have a limited time to be with them
Logistics would be difficult on this one it would have to be set up in a public place where people can gather but you would have to book some where and probably under the pretense of it being a speed dating night! Just for swingers with out anyone else knowing.
I think a lot of people would be interested if this was the case where the thought of a sex club may just be too intense for people dipping there toe in the water for the first time.
Good luck with it OP is what I say and go for it.
"On the first swing night at RVC, I went alone, met with a guy I played me later on in there. But I actually didn't even socialise a whole lot. I hid in the play area allm night, it is funny now that I think back. I had more social anxiety that play anxiety lol  | |||
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"are people that afraid meeting at parties . I found a lot need a lot of drink on board before they play ..I on the other hand have to be sober to play . " I would nearly think differently to this! I think people need drink to socialize and then once they getting chatting they make the decision to play. If it works out the won’t need drink to meet them the next night as the ice is broken and play happens without drinking!! | |||
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"Never said it was was just an idea for single people to meet other single people and possible new playmates as when going to socials etc most people already know each other and tend to stay in there wee cliques and not mingle with new folk " Great idea indeed. For those who find the dating word a little offensive change it to Speed Meeting for Fab. 
It's a great idea in a couple ways. You get to meet everyone (this I've found isn't the case at socials as there a cliques and whisperers). It helps those who are generally quiet and shy and gives them a chance next to those who are comfortable cold talking. It naturally provides opportunity to chat to those one wouldn't normally consider and could surprise a few.
Those who feel it's too 'dating' for them, don't need to go.
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"are people that afraid meeting at parties . I found a lot need a lot of drink on board before they play ..I on the other hand have to be sober to play . " I'd simply avoid anyone who has had too much to drink or I see drinking at the fountain. | |||
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"On paper sure why not? In reality, most people would cancel so it'd be about 20 random dudes sitting in a corner all thinking they were on for a bit of sex tonight lol. " Cough, more likely 3 guys and 10 ladies. It's a match making style social lol. | |||
"Hi just wondering if there would be any interest in this Think it would be a great way to meet new people and possible future playmates any advice welcome lol" I think this is a great idea. Speed dating/meeting would be great fun and as others have said it's a good way to mingle and meet other fabbers. Charging a small fee would be a good idea to help keep the dropouts away. Count me in if you get it organised and the date suits. | |||
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organizing it . | |||
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"FairPlay for coming up with the idea and willing to try something. However, to say there are cliques at socials i wrong. Perhaps you dont have the confidence or social skills to interact at one "That’s the exact point of the thread is it not! The intimidation by groups who may know each other and laughing and joking looking around and for newbies that is a clique and hard to approach maybe when you don’t know the etiquette or unsaid rules! At the speed matching it’s not a choice to walk up to some one it’s the rule to move to them! | |||
"Never said it was was just an idea for single people to meet other single people and possible new playmates as when going to socials etc most people already know each other and tend to stay in there wee cliques and not mingle with new folk Great idea indeed. For those who find the dating word a little offensive change it to Speed Meeting for Fab.
It's a great idea in a couple ways. You get to meet everyone (this I've found isn't the case at socials as there a cliques and whisperers). It helps those who are generally quiet and shy and gives them a chance next to those who are comfortable cold talking. It naturally provides opportunity to chat to those one wouldn't normally consider and could surprise a few.
Those who feel it's too 'dating' for them, don't need to go.
" | |||
"FairPlay for coming up with the idea and willing to try something. However, to say there are cliques at socials i wrong. Perhaps you dont have the confidence or social skills to interact at one
That’s the exact point of the thread is it not! The intimidation by groups who may know each other and laughing and joking looking around and for newbies that is a clique and hard to approach maybe when you don’t know the etiquette or unsaid rules! At the speed matching it’s not a choice to walk up to some one it’s the rule to move to them! "As you say those who are comfortable, laughing together often don't realise it can be intimidating for others to join in. That's where they're seen as a clique but don't see it themselves. | |||
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"It's really not a dating site "So where would single swingers looking to date other single swingers go other than a site for swingers?? This is a site for like minded people to engage with other like minded people. Free to meet or date or use it as they please. Any way for new people to meet others is a good idea. | |||
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"On paper sure why not? In reality, most people would cancel so it'd be about 20 random dudes sitting in a corner all thinking they were on for a bit of sex tonight lol. " Having organised a few group socials and play parties we would respectfully disagree, we've had no issues getting females to attend but single males have been proving quite elusive, they like the idea in theory but dont turn up. | |||
"FairPlay for coming up with the idea and willing to try something. However, to say there are cliques at socials i wrong. Perhaps you dont have the confidence or social skills to interact at one
That’s the exact point of the thread is it not! The intimidation by groups who may know each other and laughing and joking looking around and for newbies that is a clique and hard to approach maybe when you don’t know the etiquette or unsaid rules! At the speed matching it’s not a choice to walk up to some one it’s the rule to move to them!
As you say those who are comfortable, laughing together often don't realise it can be intimidating for others to join in. That's where they're seen as a clique but don't see it themselves."Theres no clique, its a myth made up by people unable to socialize. Most people who go to socials seek out new people to talk too. | |||
"FairPlay for coming up with the idea and willing to try something. However, to say there are cliques at socials i wrong. Perhaps you dont have the confidence or social skills to interact at one
That’s the exact point of the thread is it not! The intimidation by groups who may know each other and laughing and joking looking around and for newbies that is a clique and hard to approach maybe when you don’t know the etiquette or unsaid rules! At the speed matching it’s not a choice to walk up to some one it’s the rule to move to them!
As you say those who are comfortable, laughing together often don't realise it can be intimidating for others to join in. That's where they're seen as a clique but don't see it themselves.Theres no clique, its a myth made up by people unable to socialize.
Most people who go to socials seek out new people to talk too.
"Have to agree. Often the click/clique excuse is used but it's a fantasy. Yes, there are groups of Fabbers who know each other. What else do you expect living on a small island contry 
Met Peter on a M&G and he made an effort to talk to us newbie crew and was good craic. Also meant that other established members who knew him joined the group.
It's called normal social interaction
I still see the speed dating night as a good idea also | |||
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"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone " Are you referring to M&G's or online? | |||
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"I'm referring to the post made by _etergemma saying that cliques are made up by people who cannot socialize " Well, I'll let Peter reply, obviously but will say that he makes an effort to talk to others, again. | |||
"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone " Really? Unfair? I disagree with you, there are no cliques. In your infinite wisdom, how many socials have you been too? To have an opinion like | |||
"FairPlay for coming up with the idea and willing to try something. However, to say there are cliques at socials i wrong. Perhaps you dont have the confidence or social skills to interact at one
That’s the exact point of the thread is it not! The intimidation by groups who may know each other and laughing and joking looking around and for newbies that is a clique and hard to approach maybe when you don’t know the etiquette or unsaid rules! At the speed matching it’s not a choice to walk up to some one it’s the rule to move to them!
As you say those who are comfortable, laughing together often don't realise it can be intimidating for others to join in. That's where they're seen as a clique but don't see it themselves.Theres no clique, its a myth made up by people unable to socialize.
Most people who go to socials seek out new people to talk too.
Have to agree.
Often the click/clique excuse is used but it's a fantasy.
Yes, there are groups of Fabbers who know each other. What else do you expect living on a small island contry
Met Peter on a M&G and he made an effort to talk to us newbie crew and was good craic. Also meant that other established members who knew him joined the group.
It's called normal social interaction
I still see the speed dating night as a good idea also "Thanks John, we will talk to anyone and also introduce people to each other. | |||
"Never said it was was just an idea for single people to meet other single people and possible new playmates as when going to socials etc most people already know each other and tend to stay in there wee cliques and not mingle with new folk I respectfully disagree, having attended many socials over the years the people who use the word cliques are the ones who don't make the effort to mingle. We have always made new friends at any social we've attended by going and talking to people throughout the night. Speed dating for dating says exactly what it is " | |||
"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone Really? Unfair? I disagree with you, there are no cliques. In your infinite wisdom, how many socials have you been too? To have an opinion like" I have been to 6 socials / m&gs over the last 2 years and yes unfortunately there is groups of people who stick together because they know each other and it can be hard for a person to along to a social alone and interact with people. Not all of us are great at working the room or chatting to everyone. My first social I was in hotel room and decided wasn't going down as knew no-one and wasnt brave/confident to walk into a room where I knew no-one. Thankfully one of the women attending called to my room and persuaded me to go down to the social. As for speed dating be interesting to see format used. Been to 3 different events. One the gals all sat at a table and the guys sat for 3 mind chatted and when bell rang they were supposed to to move to the seat to their right. Well within 5 mins the Guys had started to just stand up look around the room and move to the person they liked the look of which defeated the whole purpose. The other 2 were just a group of people in a room and just mingle which is fine if you are social and confident to go chat people up. I'm definitely not hence no more socials for me. | |||
"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone Really? Unfair? I disagree with you, there are no cliques. In your infinite wisdom, how many socials have you been too? To have an opinion like" I have to respond to this respond this is total bollox. Nothing personal but you guys are seasoned Social/party goers and should know better IMO. I'm not sure why you're trying so hard to argue there are no such thing as cliques when there are so many who see them, feel them and have experienced them. It's as if you're taking it personal. Yes there are cliques. I've seen, watched heard and experienced them at clubs, socials and M&Gs and it's the one thing that puts me off going when I've been asked. You may be very social and talk to anyone, if they approach but some find it hard to approach, which you seem to not grasp. I've found those who argue on forums that there are no such thing as cliques tend to be the very ones who are in those in groups unaware others are struggling. It was said earlier, that it can be daunting to enter a group that's all chatting and laughing with each other. In jokes, commonality, friends etc. I had someone on the Irish forum ridicule my comments once saying I felt it was the responsibility of those regulars who know most others and who are comfortable in that environment to try to reach out and help the quiet ones feel welcomed. I was told to get a life, stop being entitled and it was my responsibility to go up to others and get involved. Some are comfortable doing that others are very uncomfortable butting into a group. Some have had big knock backs and so find it hard. It's easier as a couple as you've got a wing person all night. As a single it's very different even if going with a plus one it's different as one can find themselves struggling. So just to reiterate for those who don't see it and want to argue there are no cliques, you're on the wrong side to say that. To quote a famous Irish Fab quote, 'youre not walking in their shoes', so careful how you comment. OP I know you and others in this thread have experienced the cliques and maybe some structured Social meeting like this would be good to help those who aren't as socially confident as it would give everyone an equal opportunity. Hope it happens and I've already made a few suggestions to you. Happy fabbing and keep it fun for everyone. | |||
"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone Really? Unfair? I disagree with you, there are no cliques. In your infinite wisdom, how many socials have you been too? To have an opinion like I have been to 6 socials / m&gs over the last 2 years and yes unfortunately there is groups of people who stick together because they know each other and it can be hard for a person to along to a social alone and interact with people. Not all of us are great at working the room or chatting to everyone. My first social I was in hotel room and decided wasn't going down as knew no-one and wasnt brave/confident to walk into a room where I knew no-one. Thankfully one of the women attending called to my room and persuaded me to go down to the social. As for speed dating be interesting to see format used. Been to 3 different events. One the gals all sat at a table and the guys sat for 3 mind chatted and when bell rang they were supposed to to move to the seat to their right. Well within 5 mins the Guys had started to just stand up look around the room and move to the person they liked the look of which defeated the whole purpose. The other 2 were just a group of people in a room and just mingle which is fine if you are social and confident to go chat people up. I'm definitely not hence no more socials for me. " I didn't see this when I just posted. Totally get where you're coming from and I feel much the same about them too. | |||
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"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone Really? Unfair? I disagree with you, there are no cliques. In your infinite wisdom, how many socials have you been too? To have an opinion like I have to respond to this respond this is total bollox. Nothing personal but you guys are seasoned Social/party goers and should know better IMO. I'm not sure why you're trying so hard to argue there are no such thing as cliques when there are so many who see them, feel them and have experienced them. It's as if you're taking it personal. Yes there are cliques. I've seen, watched heard and experienced them at clubs, socials and M&Gs and it's the one thing that puts me off going when I've been asked. You may be very social and talk to anyone, if they approach but some find it hard to approach, which you seem to not grasp. I've found those who argue on forums that there are no such thing as cliques tend to be the very ones who are in those in groups unaware others are struggling. It was said earlier, that it can be daunting to enter a group that's all chatting and laughing with each other. In jokes, commonality, friends etc. I had someone on the Irish forum ridicule my comments once saying I felt it was the responsibility of those regulars who know most others and who are comfortable in that environment to try to reach out and help the quiet ones feel welcomed. I was told to get a life, stop being entitled and it was my responsibility to go up to others and get involved. Some are comfortable doing that others are very uncomfortable butting into a group. Some have had big knock backs and so find it hard. It's easier as a couple as you've got a wing person all night. As a single it's very different even if going with a plus one it's different as one can find themselves struggling. So just to reiterate for those who don't see it and want to argue there are no cliques, you're on the wrong side to say that. To quote a famous Irish Fab quote, 'youre not walking in their shoes', so careful how you comment. OP I know you and others in this thread have experienced the cliques and maybe some structured Social meeting like this would be good to help those who aren't as socially confident as it would give everyone an equal opportunity. Hope it happens and I've already made a few suggestions to you. Happy fabbing and keep it fun for everyone." Not wanting to drag this out but let me put a few things in perspective. 1. The M&G where I met Peter, and others, was my first ever. 2. Everyone else i met it was also the first time i had met them in person. 3. Yes there were people who knew each other well but i have never met such incredibly friendly people from the off before, so you are quickly put at ease. 4. Peter and others made a conscious effort to chat to newbies and introduce them to others. So, I did walk in your shoes and the above was my experience. I certainly don't think that you are entitled and understand where you are coming from. I was terrified walking into the venue at the time and it was probably an hour before I calmed down, helped by a little Dutch courage and a welcoming bunch of people. By the end of the night, everyone seemed to be chatting to everyone else and of course that's when I had to get the last bus home
Go again Midas and I hope you enjoy a similar evening of craic | |||
"Thankyou blueangel yes there are always people who try to put other people's ideas down just have to rise above it " I'm not knocking the idea but I give my opinion on having attended speed dating nights. | |||
"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone Really? Unfair? I disagree with you, there are no cliques. In your infinite wisdom, how many socials have you been too? To have an opinion like I have to respond to this respond this is total bollox. Nothing personal but you guys are seasoned Social/party goers and should know better IMO. I'm not sure why you're trying so hard to argue there are no such thing as cliques when there are so many who see them, feel them and have experienced them. It's as if you're taking it personal. Yes there are cliques. I've seen, watched heard and experienced them at clubs, socials and M&Gs and it's the one thing that puts me off going when I've been asked. You may be very social and talk to anyone, if they approach but some find it hard to approach, which you seem to not grasp. I've found those who argue on forums that there are no such thing as cliques tend to be the very ones who are in those in groups unaware others are struggling. It was said earlier, that it can be daunting to enter a group that's all chatting and laughing with each other. In jokes, commonality, friends etc. I had someone on the Irish forum ridicule my comments once saying I felt it was the responsibility of those regulars who know most others and who are comfortable in that environment to try to reach out and help the quiet ones feel welcomed. I was told to get a life, stop being entitled and it was my responsibility to go up to others and get involved. Some are comfortable doing that others are very uncomfortable butting into a group. Some have had big knock backs and so find it hard. It's easier as a couple as you've got a wing person all night. As a single it's very different even if going with a plus one it's different as one can find themselves struggling. So just to reiterate for those who don't see it and want to argue there are no cliques, you're on the wrong side to say that. To quote a famous Irish Fab quote, 'youre not walking in their shoes', so careful how you comment. OP I know you and others in this thread have experienced the cliques and maybe some structured Social meeting like this would be good to help those who aren't as socially confident as it would give everyone an equal opportunity. Hope it happens and I've already made a few suggestions to you. Happy fabbing and keep it fun for everyone. Not wanting to drag this out but let me put a few things in perspective. 1. The M&G where I met Peter, and others, was my first ever. 2. Everyone else i met it was also the first time i had met them in person. 3. Yes there were people who knew each other well but i have never met such incredibly friendly people from the off before, so you are quickly put at ease. 4. Peter and others made a conscious effort to chat to newbies and introduce them to others. So, I did walk in your shoes and the above was my experience. I certainly don't think that you are entitled and understand where you are coming from. I was terrified walking into the venue at the time and it was probably an hour before I calmed down, helped by a little Dutch courage and a welcoming bunch of people. By the end of the night, everyone seemed to be chatting to everyone else and of course that's when I had to get the last bus home
Go again Midas and I hope you enjoy a similar evening of craic "With respect to all of the opinions above, to say accross the board that cliques are a myth is wrong. I've been in this lifestyle for very many years and attended meet and greets, socials, parties, clubs and hosted a few too. In cork, Limerick, Dublin and few in between. Most where great fun and being here a long time I knew people at most I attended. But it was also clear to see groups that stuck together and that I would've found very intimidating to approach. I also was able to overhear some of these groups conversations and it made for uncomfortable listening. So they do exist but so do the lovely friendly people that will spot a stranger and/or the awkward newbie and will welcome them and make some introductions. In time you learn to spot the good people and ignore the not so welcoming. As in all aspects of life, every extended social group will have a mix of personalities and types. So attend and look for the friendly faces, there are more of them than there are cliques. Peace out people. | |||
I'm joking BTW.. Before you all jump on me | |||
"As in all aspects of life, every extended social group will have a mix of personalities and types. So attend and look for the friendly faces, there are more of them than there are cliques. Peace out people. "well said....this mirrors my experience exactly | |||
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"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone Really? Unfair? I disagree with you, there are no cliques. In your infinite wisdom, how many socials have you been too? To have an opinion like I have to respond to this respond this is total bollox. Nothing personal but you guys are seasoned Social/party goers and should know better IMO. I'm not sure why you're trying so hard to argue there are no such thing as cliques when there are so many who see them, feel them and have experienced them. It's as if you're taking it personal. Yes there are cliques. I've seen, watched heard and experienced them at clubs, socials and M&Gs and it's the one thing that puts me off going when I've been asked. You may be very social and talk to anyone, if they approach but some find it hard to approach, which you seem to not grasp. I've found those who argue on forums that there are no such thing as cliques tend to be the very ones who are in those in groups unaware others are struggling. It was said earlier, that it can be daunting to enter a group that's all chatting and laughing with each other. In jokes, commonality, friends etc. I had someone on the Irish forum ridicule my comments once saying I felt it was the responsibility of those regulars who know most others and who are comfortable in that environment to try to reach out and help the quiet ones feel welcomed. I was told to get a life, stop being entitled and it was my responsibility to go up to others and get involved. Some are comfortable doing that others are very uncomfortable butting into a group. Some have had big knock backs and so find it hard. It's easier as a couple as you've got a wing person all night. As a single it's very different even if going with a plus one it's different as one can find themselves struggling. So just to reiterate for those who don't see it and want to argue there are no cliques, you're on the wrong side to say that. To quote a famous Irish Fab quote, 'youre not walking in their shoes', so careful how you comment. OP I know you and others in this thread have experienced the cliques and maybe some structured Social meeting like this would be good to help those who aren't as socially confident as it would give everyone an equal opportunity. Hope it happens and I've already made a few suggestions to you. Happy fabbing and keep it fun for everyone. Not wanting to drag this out but let me put a few things in perspective. 1. The M&G where I met Peter, and others, was my first ever. 2. Everyone else i met it was also the first time i had met them in person. 3. Yes there were people who knew each other well but i have never met such incredibly friendly people from the off before, so you are quickly put at ease. 4. Peter and others made a conscious effort to chat to newbies and introduce them to others. So, I did walk in your shoes and the above was my experience. I certainly don't think that you are entitled and understand where you are coming from. I was terrified walking into the venue at the time and it was probably an hour before I calmed down, helped by a little Dutch courage and a welcoming bunch of people. By the end of the night, everyone seemed to be chatting to everyone else and of course that's when I had to get the last bus home
Go again Midas and I hope you enjoy a similar evening of craic
With respect to all of the opinions above, to say accross the board that cliques are a myth is wrong. I've been in this lifestyle for very many years and attended meet and greets, socials, parties, clubs and hosted a few too. In cork, Limerick, Dublin and few in between. Most where great fun and being here a long time I knew people at most I attended. But it was also clear to see groups that stuck together and that I would've found very intimidating to approach. I also was able to overhear some of these groups conversations and it made for uncomfortable listening. So they do exist but so do the lovely friendly people that will spot a stranger and/or the awkward newbie and will welcome them and make some introductions. In time you learn to spot the good people and ignore the not so welcoming. As in all aspects of life, every extended social group will have a mix of personalities and types. So attend and look for the friendly faces, there are more of them than there are cliques. Peace out people. " | |||
"As in all aspects of life, every extended social group will have a mix of personalities and types. So attend and look for the friendly faces, there are more of them than there are cliques. Peace out people. well said....this mirrors my experience exactly "Thats probably the best advice anyone can give. | |||
"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone Really? Unfair? I disagree with you, there are no cliques. In your infinite wisdom, how many socials have you been too? To have an opinion like I have to respond to this respond this is total bollox. Nothing personal but you guys are seasoned Social/party goers and should know better IMO. I'm not sure why you're trying so hard to argue there are no such thing as cliques when there are so many who see them, feel them and have experienced them. It's as if you're taking it personal. Yes there are cliques. I've seen, watched heard and experienced them at clubs, socials and M&Gs and it's the one thing that puts me off going when I've been asked. You may be very social and talk to anyone, if they approach but some find it hard to approach, which you seem to not grasp. I've found those who argue on forums that there are no such thing as cliques tend to be the very ones who are in those in groups unaware others are struggling. It was said earlier, that it can be daunting to enter a group that's all chatting and laughing with each other. In jokes, commonality, friends etc. I had someone on the Irish forum ridicule my comments once saying I felt it was the responsibility of those regulars who know most others and who are comfortable in that environment to try to reach out and help the quiet ones feel welcomed. I was told to get a life, stop being entitled and it was my responsibility to go up to others and get involved. Some are comfortable doing that others are very uncomfortable butting into a group. Some have had big knock backs and so find it hard. It's easier as a couple as you've got a wing person all night. As a single it's very different even if going with a plus one it's different as one can find themselves struggling. So just to reiterate for those who don't see it and want to argue there are no cliques, you're on the wrong side to say that. To quote a famous Irish Fab quote, 'youre not walking in their shoes', so careful how you comment. OP I know you and others in this thread have experienced the cliques and maybe some structured Social meeting like this would be good to help those who aren't as socially confident as it would give everyone an equal opportunity. Hope it happens and I've already made a few suggestions to you. Happy fabbing and keep it fun for everyone. Not wanting to drag this out but let me put a few things in perspective. 1. The M&G where I met Peter, and others, was my first ever. 2. Everyone else i met it was also the first time i had met them in person. 3. Yes there were people who knew each other well but i have never met such incredibly friendly people from the off before, so you are quickly put at ease. 4. Peter and others made a conscious effort to chat to newbies and introduce them to others. So, I did walk in your shoes and the above was my experience. I certainly don't think that you are entitled and understand where you are coming from. I was terrified walking into the venue at the time and it was probably an hour before I calmed down, helped by a little Dutch courage and a welcoming bunch of people. By the end of the night, everyone seemed to be chatting to everyone else and of course that's when I had to get the last bus home
Go again Midas and I hope you enjoy a similar evening of craic "In fairness that was an epic social. We only decided that night to attend. Thanks for the support John! We will chat to anyone, so anyone who happens to be at a social and are nervous come up and talk to us, we will introduce you, usually to people you might be compatible with. Also, I cant stress how important it is to interact in the group chats as a newbie, you can become practically friends with people before even meeting them face to face. | |||
"Hi just wondering if there would be any interest in this Think it would be a great way to meet new people and possible future playmates any advice welcome lol" I would give it a go could be fun | |||
"Sorry but I have to disagree with you on this one there is Definetly cliques and to say that it is made up by people who are unable to socialize is very unfair I am actually a very friendly and chatty person and will talk to anyone Really? Unfair? I disagree with you, there are no cliques. In your infinite wisdom, how many socials have you been too? To have an opinion like I have to respond to this respond this is total bollox. Nothing personal but you guys are seasoned Social/party goers and should know better IMO. I'm not sure why you're trying so hard to argue there are no such thing as cliques when there are so many who see them, feel them and have experienced them. It's as if you're taking it personal. Yes there are cliques. I've seen, watched heard and experienced them at clubs, socials and M&Gs and it's the one thing that puts me off going when I've been asked. You may be very social and talk to anyone, if they approach but some find it hard to approach, which you seem to not grasp. I've found those who argue on forums that there are no such thing as cliques tend to be the very ones who are in those in groups unaware others are struggling. It was said earlier, that it can be daunting to enter a group that's all chatting and laughing with each other. In jokes, commonality, friends etc. I had someone on the Irish forum ridicule my comments once saying I felt it was the responsibility of those regulars who know most others and who are comfortable in that environment to try to reach out and help the quiet ones feel welcomed. I was told to get a life, stop being entitled and it was my responsibility to go up to others and get involved. Some are comfortable doing that others are very uncomfortable butting into a group. Some have had big knock backs and so find it hard. It's easier as a couple as you've got a wing person all night. As a single it's very different even if going with a plus one it's different as one can find themselves struggling. So just to reiterate for those who don't see it and want to argue there are no cliques, you're on the wrong side to say that. To quote a famous Irish Fab quote, 'youre not walking in their shoes', so careful how you comment. OP I know you and others in this thread have experienced the cliques and maybe some structured Social meeting like this would be good to help those who aren't as socially confident as it would give everyone an equal opportunity. Hope it happens and I've already made a few suggestions to you. Happy fabbing and keep it fun for everyone. Not wanting to drag this out but let me put a few things in perspective. 1. The M&G where I met Peter, and others, was my first ever. 2. Everyone else i met it was also the first time i had met them in person. 3. Yes there were people who knew each other well but i have never met such incredibly friendly people from the off before, so you are quickly put at ease. 4. Peter and others made a conscious effort to chat to newbies and introduce them to others. So, I did walk in your shoes and the above was my experience. I certainly don't think that you are entitled and understand where you are coming from. I was terrified walking into the venue at the time and it was probably an hour before I calmed down, helped by a little Dutch courage and a welcoming bunch of people. By the end of the night, everyone seemed to be chatting to everyone else and of course that's when I had to get the last bus home
Go again Midas and I hope you enjoy a similar evening of craic
With respect to all of the opinions above, to say accross the board that cliques are a myth is wrong. I've been in this lifestyle for very many years and attended meet and greets, socials, parties, clubs and hosted a few too. In cork, Limerick, Dublin and few in between. Most where great fun and being here a long time I knew people at most I attended. But it was also clear to see groups that stuck together and that I would've found very intimidating to approach. I also was able to overhear some of these groups conversations and it made for uncomfortable listening. So they do exist but so do the lovely friendly people that will spot a stranger and/or the awkward newbie and will welcome them and make some introductions. In time you learn to spot the good people and ignore the not so welcoming. As in all aspects of life, every extended social group will have a mix of personalities and types. So attend and look for the friendly faces, there are more of them than there are cliques. Peace out people. "From a well attendee of socials I couldn't have summed it up better Rosered. | |||
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for putting it out there and there is more people needed on Fab with that attitude. | |||
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"Thankyou for your post improvement and for your encouragement yes I am very surprised at the amount of response I am just a single girl who enjoys the social side of fab as much as anything else and am just looking for ways to meet like minded people I am working on this idea with a friend so so hopefully have more information on it soon trying to get a venue is the hardest part lol" OP, a good idea will all ways be supported. Like minded people would be lovely and good to hang out with and you may never play with any or all of them. | |||
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"Never said it was was just an idea for single people to meet other single people and possible new playmates as when going to socials etc most people already know each other and tend to stay in there wee cliques and not mingle with new folk " Brilliant idea and spot on observation. I've been to Vanilla Club, KK and home sex parties. More often than not, very few experienced swingers would mix with the newcomers, unless they are young or very hot. I haven't done this for very long compared with others and I myself prefer one on one meets for sex play, but I like the parties and clubs for finding and meeting new potential partners. Nothing better than meeting someone in flesh, as pics don't do people justice, or are deceiving all along. I wish you best of luck organising such an event, as it won't be easy. Some sort of a vetting or fee would probably be a very good idea, to avoid time wasters. I am not sure how will you balance the number of "men/men from couples" versus very few women and couples attending. What I heard, from other people organising meets and greets, the number of folks turning up compared to the ones "confirmed" is at best 1 in 5. | |||
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"Don't Think for this one I'm going to have couples as I can't figure out a way for that to work yes there will Definetly have to be a small fee which will have to be paid before the event and which will be non refundable if you don't turn up yes getting the balance of men and women right is going to be the hardest thing as it's always easier getting single guys " Oh I think couples could work, on the night the man would move and his partner stay as they may be looking for singles and decide together afterwards if anyone is a potential meet! | |||
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"Ummm yes never thought of that but what if they just wanted to meet other couples " Then this event wouldn’t be for them. Lots of singles want to meet couples too | |||
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"Because i'm in england
Oh ffs why bother":- | |||
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"Just thinking about this, and it would add another difficulty to organizing the speed-meeting event but would it be better to have age requirements nights? Cause I’m looking at the age limits on profiles and thinking would women or couples that I would be above their age requirements want to sit down and chat with me for even 5 min? I know that a chat doesn’t mean anything would happen but would it be better to match age requirements to avoid this? " Also than take into consideration if couples attending and the single person doesn't want to meet couples the variations would be a logistic nightmare | |||
"Just thinking about this, and it would add another difficulty to organizing the speed-meeting event but would it be better to have age requirements nights? Cause I’m looking at the age limits on profiles and thinking would women or couples that I would be above their age requirements want to sit down and chat with me for even 5 min? I know that a chat doesn’t mean anything would happen but would it be better to match age requirements to avoid this? Also than take into consideration if couples attending and the single person doesn't want to meet couples the variations would be a logistic nightmare " Oh the logistics of organizing any social event is a nightmare IMO. That’s why I say fair play to anyone who does go ahead and do it. | |||
"Just thinking about this, and it would add another difficulty to organizing the speed-meeting event but would it be better to have age requirements nights? Cause I’m looking at the age limits on profiles and thinking would women or couples that I would be above their age requirements want to sit down and chat with me for even 5 min? I know that a chat doesn’t mean anything would happen but would it be better to match age requirements to avoid this? Also than take into consideration if couples attending and the single person doesn't want to meet couples the variations would be a logistic nightmare Oh the logistics of organizing any social event is a nightmare IMO. That’s why I say fair play to anyone who does go ahead and do it. " Have spoken to a few ladies who organised meet and greets and it takes a lot of work. | |||
"Just thinking about this, and it would add another difficulty to organizing the speed-meeting event but would it be better to have age requirements nights? Cause I’m looking at the age limits on profiles and thinking would women or couples that I would be above their age requirements want to sit down and chat with me for even 5 min? I know that a chat doesn’t mean anything would happen but would it be better to match age requirements to avoid this? Also than take into consideration if couples attending and the single person doesn't want to meet couples the variations would be a logistic nightmare Oh the logistics of organizing any social event is a nightmare IMO. That’s why I say fair play to anyone who does go ahead and do it. Have spoken to a few ladies who organised meet and greets and it takes a lot of work." Agreed, takes a lot of work if it’s a normal social, even harder when you have to keep it under the radar. | |||
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"I was thinking of having a few age ranges say 25_40 then 40+and picking equal amounts of women and men from each age group would that not work " I think just run it like a normal speed dating night. The ladies are seated and the guys chat for 3 mind the buzzer goes and they move to the next seat. Maybe if the guys and girls have a coloured badge to show whether single/couple/bi/gay/age range might work | |||
"I was thinking of having a few age ranges say 25_40 then 40+and picking equal amounts of women and men from each age group would that not work I think just run it like a normal speed dating night. The ladies are seated and the guys chat for 3 mind the buzzer goes and they move to the next seat. Maybe if the guys and girls have a coloured badge to show whether single/couple/bi/gay/age range might work" I wouldn’t go with the badges to be honest. I want to chat to everyone gay, bi or anything else! It’s a social event and I’m not chatting them because I want something to happen. I’m chatting to be social. May be just run it open to everyone and people are adults they can arrange what they want with who ever the want afterwards. One way or another an event will not provide for everyone’s tastes. | |||
"I was thinking of having a few age ranges say 25_40 then 40+and picking equal amounts of women and men from each age group would that not work I think just run it like a normal speed dating night. The ladies are seated and the guys chat for 3 mind the buzzer goes and they move to the next seat. Maybe if the guys and girls have a coloured badge to show whether single/couple/bi/gay/age range might work I wouldn’t go with the badges to be honest. I want to chat to everyone gay, bi or anything else! It’s a social event and I’m not chatting them because I want something to happen. I’m chatting to be social. May be just run it open to everyone and people are adults they can arrange what they want with who ever the want afterwards. One way or another an event will not provide for everyone’s tastes. " I know that goes against what I was suggesting earlier but just thinking aloud. | |||
"I was thinking of having a few age ranges say 25_40 then 40+and picking equal amounts of women and men from each age group would that not work I think just run it like a normal speed dating night. The ladies are seated and the guys chat for 3 mind the buzzer goes and they move to the next seat. Maybe if the guys and girls have a coloured badge to show whether single/couple/bi/gay/age range might work I wouldn’t go with the badges to be honest. I want to chat to everyone gay, bi or anything else! It’s a social event and I’m not chatting them because I want something to happen. I’m chatting to be social. May be just run it open to everyone and people are adults they can arrange what they want with who ever the want afterwards. One way or another an event will not provide for everyone’s tastes. " I don't mean that u seek out the one with badges to suit you. But no point a guy sitting chatting to me thinking it goes well and than at end of night he's in a couple looking for a bi girl. | |||
"I was thinking of having a few age ranges say 25_40 then 40+and picking equal amounts of women and men from each age group would that not work I think just run it like a normal speed dating night. The ladies are seated and the guys chat for 3 mind the buzzer goes and they move to the next seat. Maybe if the guys and girls have a coloured badge to show whether single/couple/bi/gay/age range might work I wouldn’t go with the badges to be honest. I want to chat to everyone gay, bi or anything else! It’s a social event and I’m not chatting them because I want something to happen. I’m chatting to be social. May be just run it open to everyone and people are adults they can arrange what they want with who ever the want afterwards. One way or another an event will not provide for everyone’s tastes. I know that goes against what I was suggesting earlier but just thinking aloud. " Sure what do I know I can't even get a coffee meet lol | |||
"I was thinking of having a few age ranges say 25_40 then 40+and picking equal amounts of women and men from each age group would that not work I think just run it like a normal speed dating night. The ladies are seated and the guys chat for 3 mind the buzzer goes and they move to the next seat. Maybe if the guys and girls have a coloured badge to show whether single/couple/bi/gay/age range might work I wouldn’t go with the badges to be honest. I want to chat to everyone gay, bi or anything else! It’s a social event and I’m not chatting them because I want something to happen. I’m chatting to be social. May be just run it open to everyone and people are adults they can arrange what they want with who ever the want afterwards. One way or another an event will not provide for everyone’s tastes. I don't mean that u seek out the one with badges to suit you. But no point a guy sitting chatting to me thinking it goes well and than at end of night he's in a couple looking for a bi girl. " I hear what your saying Steph, but I think that would actually be ok, you chat you get on but that doesn’t mean there has to be a play date organized after. It’s a social and eater than going with the intent of scoring with someone you meet and socialize with people in the lifestyle. | |||
"I was thinking of having a few age ranges say 25_40 then 40+and picking equal amounts of women and men from each age group would that not work I think just run it like a normal speed dating night. The ladies are seated and the guys chat for 3 mind the buzzer goes and they move to the next seat. Maybe if the guys and girls have a coloured badge to show whether single/couple/bi/gay/age range might work I wouldn’t go with the badges to be honest. I want to chat to everyone gay, bi or anything else! It’s a social event and I’m not chatting them because I want something to happen. I’m chatting to be social. May be just run it open to everyone and people are adults they can arrange what they want with who ever the want afterwards. One way or another an event will not provide for everyone’s tastes. I know that goes against what I was suggesting earlier but just thinking aloud. Sure what do I know I can't even get a coffee meet lol" You and me both maybe the cliques discusses earlier own all the coffee shops | |||
"I was thinking of having a few age ranges say 25_40 then 40+and picking equal amounts of women and men from each age group would that not work I think just run it like a normal speed dating night. The ladies are seated and the guys chat for 3 mind the buzzer goes and they move to the next seat. Maybe if the guys and girls have a coloured badge to show whether single/couple/bi/gay/age range might work I wouldn’t go with the badges to be honest. I want to chat to everyone gay, bi or anything else! It’s a social event and I’m not chatting them because I want something to happen. I’m chatting to be social. May be just run it open to everyone and people are adults they can arrange what they want with who ever the want afterwards. One way or another an event will not provide for everyone’s tastes. I know that goes against what I was suggesting earlier but just thinking aloud. Sure what do I know I can't even get a coffee meet lol" No way !!! I certainly don't believe that !!! even with that Beautiful GnR t-shirt ..naww lady .. you definitely not telling the truth there ...can't even get a coffee meet ..ya right ...sorry Beautiful..l for one don't believe that .. | |||
"I was thinking of having a few age ranges say 25_40 then 40+and picking equal amounts of women and men from each age group would that not work I think just run it like a normal speed dating night. The ladies are seated and the guys chat for 3 mind the buzzer goes and they move to the next seat. Maybe if the guys and girls have a coloured badge to show whether single/couple/bi/gay/age range might work I wouldn’t go with the badges to be honest. I want to chat to everyone gay, bi or anything else! It’s a social event and I’m not chatting them because I want something to happen. I’m chatting to be social. May be just run it open to everyone and people are adults they can arrange what they want with who ever the want afterwards. One way or another an event will not provide for everyone’s tastes. I know that goes against what I was suggesting earlier but just thinking aloud. Sure what do I know I can't even get a coffee meet lol No way !!! I certainly don't believe that !!! even with that Beautiful GnR t-shirt ..naww lady .. you definitely not telling the truth there ...can't even get a coffee meet ..ya right ...sorry Beautiful..l for one don't believe that .." Well I posted a coffee meet this morning as you can took it down. One guy messaged sent me a face pic which showed his body was a different race to his face, yet I sent mine and than he expected me to turn up cause he was tall, charming honest and discreet | |||
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"Stephinboots2 could you pm me tried pming you but you have single women blocked lol" Have everyone blocked lol. Will pm you. | |||
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"a few points to raise though. 1. if u believe in cliques or not, this is a different type of party so be open to new experiences and give it a go and end the clique debate. that's not what the thread is for 2. organising any event is hard work. classy lady and anyone who puts on events should be applauded for their efforts. 3. i do believe the wording is wrong for this environment. no one on fab wants to go speed dating. maybe speed M&G, speed fabbing, speed ice breaking or speed swinging ... just of the top of my head but something to thing about and work on 4. it will take more than 2 people to run the night. after ur 5 minutes is up u need to physically move the guys on and traffic jams then occur (i refer back to the hard work comment) 5. include couples, but remember to word in ur invite how the night will work. most couples r after girl on girl, so the male half going round and chatting to single girls may be a bone of contention even if they are/should be picking out potential playmates for their partner. 6 have an allotted time after the 'speed rounds' to socialise. have a DJ and all attendees can then chat again with their favourites. maybe have additional tickets for this part of the evening as the room can become bigger as tables etc are moved to create a dance floor. i hope this helps and time permitting, we'd love to attend. keep us updated and add it to the organised socials on fab." Great advice | |||
"Thankyou hedonism ni will take your points on board am just realising there is more work goes into organising an event than I thought maybe o have taken on too much lol" Maybe start small and selective with the demographics. If it's successful then you could try again with another group. If you still feel it's too much you've certainly given an idea a few might steal for part of their socials and so the seed has been down. | |||
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"Never said it was was just an idea for single people to meet other single people and possible new playmates as when going to socials etc most people already know each other and tend to stay in there wee cliques and not mingle with new folk I respectfully disagree, having attended many socials over the years the people who use the word cliques are the ones who don't make the effort to mingle. We have always made new friends at any social we've attended by going and talking to people throughout the night. Speed dating for dating says exactly what it is "I so you're in a couple that's easy for you to say that. I make every effort to go to things as a single female, I have no problem attending socials on my own which I've always done however I have also attended a club on 2 occasions on my own and went to the drinks reception to mix before and yet when it comes to play time the couple's stay together so I personally think speed fab dating is a great idea | |||
"Never said it was was just an idea for single people to meet other single people and possible new playmates as when going to socials etc most people already know each other and tend to stay in there wee cliques and not mingle with new folk I respectfully disagree, having attended many socials over the years the people who use the word cliques are the ones who don't make the effort to mingle. We have always made new friends at any social we've attended by going and talking to people throughout the night. Speed dating for dating says exactly what it is
I so you're in a couple that's easy for you to say that.
I make every effort to go to things as a single female, I have no problem attending socials on my own which I've always done however I have also attended a club on 2 occasions on my own and went to the drinks reception to mix before and yet when it comes to play time the couple's stay together so I personally think speed fab dating is a great idea
"Now imagine how hard it is for a single guy , at clubs the regulars stay together , its all good fun on the kik chat but when it comes to play in real ,not so easy | |||
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"Anyone fancy giving me a hand to organise it lol" Well where are you planning it to happen , will gladly help | |||
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"Hi just wondering if there would be any interest in this Think it would be a great way to meet new people and possible future playmates any advice welcome lol" Good idea Sounds interesting | |||
