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Virginity - if you knew then what you know now
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"is losing your virginity a planned event, yes lads hope to lose it, but when least expected it happens, well mine did anyway... & the plans, thoughts went out the window ... now if your talking 1st Fab meet Virginity, well yes I would like to have done that differently, but inhind sight I did enjoy the event & you learn from every experience ... so different...well maybe not ... itd the journey not the destination "Planning wasn't mentioned in my question. What would you DO differently. Not rush? Not be afraid of what you didn't know or understand? Let your body find its own way and get out of your thoughts? Be more focused on the other person and less afraid or self conscious? Did you miss anything that you only figured out later and thought - 'Fuck, I wish I had known that all along' - and if you could apply that, what would that be? | |||
"I wouldn’t change anything really, well perhaps that it wasn’t on a made up bed on the floor of a friends house (but equally I’m not a rose petals and candles type of woman!) but it was part of one of the best weekends of fun with friends as a student and with the man I married and with whom I’ve had endless fun with since "That is beautiful! Thank you. | |||
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"I wouldn’t change anything really, well perhaps that it wasn’t on a made up bed on the floor of a friends house (but equally I’m not a rose petals and candles type of woman!) but it was part of one of the best weekends of fun with friends as a student and with the man I married and with whom I’ve had endless fun with since "Now THAT is AWESOME !!! and may l Sincerely wish you both many many more endless fun times... | |||
"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?" In hindsight...if l knew back then what l was to discover throughout my life ...a different lady...and maybe 4 years earlier... | |||
"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently? In hindsight...if l knew back then what l was to discover throughout my life ...a different lady...and maybe 4 years earlier..." Now that I find fascinating. Why did you wait? Had you wanted to earlier and held off because of...morality? I'm not trying to pry, I'm terribly curious. | |||
"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?" I would have mastrubated before hand | |||
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"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?" Still waiting to get rid of my pen virginity done plenty of oral but none of the good stuff | |||
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"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently? In hindsight...if l knew back then what l was to discover throughout my life ...a different lady...and maybe 4 years earlier... Now that I find fascinating. Why did you wait? Had you wanted to earlier and held off because of...morality? I'm not trying to pry, I'm terribly curious. " Yup..correct on both counts...was fierce shy & quite..still a lot to this day to be honest but wayyyyyyyyyy more relaxed regards Everything now ..all going through life l suppose.. | |||
" Planning wasn't mentioned in my question. What would you DO differently. Not rush? Not be afraid of what you didn't know or understand? Let your body find its own way and get out of your thoughts? Be more focused on the other person and less afraid or self conscious? Did you miss anything that you only figured out later and thought - 'Fuck, I wish I had known that all along' - and if you could apply that, what would that be? " as a young lads you are always hoping for that 1st ride, the losing of your cherry, their is always a plan ... but best laid plans | |||
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"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?" Nothing. Mine was perfect (excl pain). I think our first time should be done with the person we love and trust and planned not just a quick shag 
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"Tonight Vanilla...one of the last virgin frontiers for me. Made me wonder...If you had to lose your virginity again, what would you do differently?" -------------------------- Strong christian upbringing with hang ups around sex made my first experience a nerve wracking one 
As bad as it was, do you know what?
I wouldn't change it at all now ...as it inspire me to go and study more about tantra and better sex | |||
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"Eurydice, thanks for providing us with an opportunity to think, reminisce and reflect. It has been interesting to read other people’s thoughts, and here are some based on my experiences. It made me think of virginity in a wider sense than just the first penetrative sex. I remembered the first kiss, mutual fondling, the first oral and anal sex, the first threesome, the first foursome, the first time with a man. I also regretfully remembered the firsts that didn’t happen. Thinking back, there are few regrets and many sweet memories. The main thread that runs through most of the firsts and missed opportunities is a wish to have understood the other party/parties’ signals better, to have been braver, more giving and more communicative. With the first exhilarating kiss, I would have returned it and repeated it. She was brave, I wasn’t. With the first girl who touched me, I would have gone further than just rubbing her crotch through her jeans. But we did have full intercourse two months later, and although it felt like a triumph, the quality of the sex was not great for either of us. I would have spent longer in her arms after the fact. We never did it again, moved to different places for study. I wish we had done more together and spoken more. We were nervous, fumbling and too shy and inexperienced to communicate well. The first threesome started fantastically and ended in a tense situation between the couple I was visiting. What I should have done differently was not to let her ride me while he went to the bathroom. She had done the same earlier, and he and I had continued playing, and that hadn’t been a problem. What had been great ended up in an argument between them and my hurried departure. It must also have been a lesson for them to make their rules of engagement clear. I ran into her in a supermarket months later, we exchanged glances and smiles, but we never met again. The first foursome was amazing, but some things would be done differently in hindsight. It happened spontaneously in a club. Well, spontaneously in the sense that we went with the intention of playing with another couple or my then girlfriend playing with a woman or more. But we didn’t know what would happen – if anything – and with whom. If I were to do it again, it would be in a different environment, either a hotel or the home of one of the couples. I would have liked to spend more time after/between sexual contact. It happened rather quickly and we left shortly after some very exciting play, feeling simultaneously awkward and on a high. I wish we had stayed, talked and enjoyed their company on a more personal level. As for firsts that didn’t happen and may therefore be considered “nevers” was the teacher who hit on me. I was 18, she was 26, and at that time in my life it seemed like a generational difference. The day I passed her oral exam (sic.) with flying colours and she stopped being my teacher, we ended up early in the evening drinking wine in a café. When my friend left, she asked what my plans for the evening were, and I said I was just going home. She touched my thigh and said “B (her journalist boyfriend and later husband) is abroad, I want you to stay with me tonight.” I panicked when she tried to kiss me and left. A couple of decades later I wish I had had the courage to spend the night with her. I had technically ceased to be her student, I was legally an adult and free to pursue my desires. I hadn’t felt any sexual desire for her until then, but I did the moment I knew she wanted me. The breaking of a taboo was alluring. Another first that wasn’t was “the Indian dormitory incident.” A young Frenchwoman and I were the only guests in a guesthouse in India and slept in the same dormitory-style room. We had chatted the evening before and gone to beds facing each other, with me perceiving no sign that she might be interested in me, although I found her attractive. When I woke up the next morning, she was awake. She smiled and looked at me, took her knickers off and started to masturbate and touch her breasts, looking me into the eye. As with the teacher, this sudden eruption of female sexuality made me panic. I quickly went to the bathroom. She felt very embarrassed and got dressed, and it was awkward and unpleasant. In this case, I would retrospectively have responded to her invitation and gone wherever it would have led us. We learn from our experiences, and the main lesson for me is to be more confident, to be more attuned to sexual semiotics and to interpret signals correctly. " Hey... AWESOME post..thank you so much for sharing... Brilliant read my friend...can't lie there were times also I my life that a lady was maybe " more interested " in me than l could see...and tell you the truth ..at the age l was ..it was the music that l was really into ...so much so l suppose l didn't notice anything else ...happy to say that today ..the two things that keep my life moving ...sex & music ...thanks again for writing a brilliant piece .. | |||
"Eurydice, thanks for providing us with an opportunity to think, reminisce and reflect. It has been interesting to read other people’s thoughts, and here are some based on my experiences. It made me think of virginity in a wider sense than just the first penetrative sex. I remembered the first kiss, mutual fondling, the first oral and anal sex, the first threesome, the first foursome, the first time with a man. I also regretfully remembered the firsts that didn’t happen. Thinking back, there are few regrets and many sweet memories. The main thread that runs through most of the firsts and missed opportunities is a wish to have understood the other party/parties’ signals better, to have been braver, more giving and more communicative. With the first exhilarating kiss, I would have returned it and repeated it. She was brave, I wasn’t. With the first girl who touched me, I would have gone further than just rubbing her crotch through her jeans. But we did have full intercourse two months later, and although it felt like a triumph, the quality of the sex was not great for either of us. I would have spent longer in her arms after the fact. We never did it again, moved to different places for study. I wish we had done more together and spoken more. We were nervous, fumbling and too shy and inexperienced to communicate well. The first threesome started fantastically and ended in a tense situation between the couple I was visiting. What I should have done differently was not to let her ride me while he went to the bathroom. She had done the same earlier, and he and I had continued playing, and that hadn’t been a problem. What had been great ended up in an argument between them and my hurried departure. It must also have been a lesson for them to make their rules of engagement clear. I ran into her in a supermarket months later, we exchanged glances and smiles, but we never met again. The first foursome was amazing, but some things would be done differently in hindsight. It happened spontaneously in a club. Well, spontaneously in the sense that we went with the intention of playing with another couple or my then girlfriend playing with a woman or more. But we didn’t know what would happen – if anything – and with whom. If I were to do it again, it would be in a different environment, either a hotel or the home of one of the couples. I would have liked to spend more time after/between sexual contact. It happened rather quickly and we left shortly after some very exciting play, feeling simultaneously awkward and on a high. I wish we had stayed, talked and enjoyed their company on a more personal level. As for firsts that didn’t happen and may therefore be considered “nevers” was the teacher who hit on me. I was 18, she was 26, and at that time in my life it seemed like a generational difference. The day I passed her oral exam (sic.) with flying colours and she stopped being my teacher, we ended up early in the evening drinking wine in a café. When my friend left, she asked what my plans for the evening were, and I said I was just going home. She touched my thigh and said “B (her journalist boyfriend and later husband) is abroad, I want you to stay with me tonight.” I panicked when she tried to kiss me and left. A couple of decades later I wish I had had the courage to spend the night with her. I had technically ceased to be her student, I was legally an adult and free to pursue my desires. I hadn’t felt any sexual desire for her until then, but I did the moment I knew she wanted me. The breaking of a taboo was alluring. Another first that wasn’t was “the Indian dormitory incident.” A young Frenchwoman and I were the only guests in a guesthouse in India and slept in the same dormitory-style room. We had chatted the evening before and gone to beds facing each other, with me perceiving no sign that she might be interested in me, although I found her attractive. When I woke up the next morning, she was awake. She smiled and looked at me, took her knickers off and started to masturbate and touch her breasts, looking me into the eye. As with the teacher, this sudden eruption of female sexuality made me panic. I quickly went to the bathroom. She felt very embarrassed and got dressed, and it was awkward and unpleasant. In this case, I would retrospectively have responded to her invitation and gone wherever it would have led us. We learn from our experiences, and the main lesson for me is to be more confident, to be more attuned to sexual semiotics and to interpret signals correctly. " Thank you for this - the writing, the revealing, the intimate sharing. It's beautiful. The teacher part of me is in awe of the teacher that took the chance with you - irrespective of the outcome. | |||
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