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Cancelling meets with valid reasons
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By *uzz_Buzz OP Couple
over a year ago
Dublin |
Probably a lot of you, had to cancel meets for last minute valid reasons.
A good friend of ours, was supposed to meet a woman tonight (she is part of a couple).
All arrangements were done, B&B booked.
Then massive hangover/food poisoning hits him last night.
He wasn't sure himself why it happened, but he was in no shape for the meet and had to cancel.
We had to cancel attending a sex party few months ago, when the kid got sick the night before.
Bee, my partner, twice had to postpone her first solo coffee meet and then her first solo play meet, again when she got sick first, then our kid got sick again just few days ago.
Absolutely genuine reasons to cancel or postpone meets, but so hard to not look like cold feet and feel shit about it.
What is your experience with this kind of situation when real life, shows us that random events in our life makes us look "not genuine" in our efforts to meet someone!? |
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By *ackk25Man
over a year ago
Kilkenny |
"Probably a lot of you, had to cancel meets for last minute valid reasons.
A good friend of ours, was supposed to meet a woman tonight (she is part of a couple).
All arrangements were done, B&B booked.
Then massive hangover/food poisoning hits him last night.
He wasn't sure himself why it happened, but he was in no shape for the meet and had to cancel.
We had to cancel attending a sex party few months ago, when the kid got sick the night before.
Bee, my partner, twice had to postpone her first solo coffee meet and then her first solo play meet, again when she got sick first, then our kid got sick again just few days ago.
Absolutely genuine reasons to cancel or postpone meets, but so hard to not look like cold feet and feel shit about it.
What is your experience with this kind of situation when real life, shows us that random events in our life makes us look "not genuine" in our efforts to meet someone!? "
No big deal!... Normal life takes priority sometimes... Simple as |
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By *uzz_Buzz OP Couple
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Is his woman meet at a loose end then?  "
He messaged her few good hours before the meet and let her know.
She messaged him back with a nice message, but he feels like a let down.
I would say, she won't want to rearrange the meet again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is his woman meet at a loose end then?
He messaged her few good hours before the meet and let her know.
She messaged him back with a nice message, but he feels like a let down.
I would say, she won't want to rearrange the meet again. "
Did he let her know last night that he was starting to feel sick? |
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By *uzz_Buzz OP Couple
over a year ago
Dublin |
"Is his woman meet at a loose end then?
He messaged her few good hours before the meet and let her know.
She messaged him back with a nice message, but he feels like a let down.
I would say, she won't want to rearrange the meet again.
Did he let her know last night that he was starting to feel sick?"
He got sick about 3:30 last night and he was hopping to get better by the time the meet was supposed to happen. They were supposed to meet at 10:30 tonight and both would have had to travel a bit for the meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is his woman meet at a loose end then?
He messaged her few good hours before the meet and let her know.
She messaged him back with a nice message, but he feels like a let down.
I would say, she won't want to rearrange the meet again.
Did he let her know last night that he was starting to feel sick?
He got sick about 3:30 last night and he was hopping to get better by the time the meet was supposed to happen. They were supposed to meet at 10:30 tonight and both would have had to travel a bit for the meet. "
His mistake as probably heading out on the lash the night before a meet....
But of course life will get in the way, all you can do is give as much notice as possible  |
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We are all meeting people, so we have to accept that people have other lives away from this world, which includes other people, their jobs, family, health etc. Some meets will not happen - we all have to accept that. As long as we're respectful and inform people promptly, then we're doing all that we can do. The same cancellations and postponements will happen to us, just the same.
Don't accept any abuse - if you get it, report it Fab admin. |
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By *uzz_Buzz OP Couple
over a year ago
Dublin |
Life does get in the way, family comes first.
People get sick all the time.
What helps sometimes, is the amount of time people talk before arranging a meet.
If there is a certain level of trust, phone numbers exchanged etc... It makes it easier to accept and not see it as a lame excuse.
I suppose, when a meet is arranged within a very short time, then the level of trust is low and it is much harder to believe the reason someone will cancel a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Shit happens. Every one of us here has probably had to cancel at some time and every one of us has been cancelled on. It’s not a nice feeling and you do feel shit but you dust yourself off and get on with life and your Fab life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We are all meeting people, so we have to accept that people have other lives away from this world, which includes other people, their jobs, family, health etc. Some meets will not happen - we all have to accept that. As long as we're respectful and inform people promptly, then we're doing all that we can do. The same cancellations and postponements will happen to us, just the same.
Don't accept any abuse - if you get it, report it Fab admin."
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I had to cancel a meeting because i had been split open in an accident on my way to the meet.
They called me a time waster.
So after i got 5 stiches in my head I went to the meet, in the same clothes, with a bandage on my head, covered in blood.
Spent the whole meet complaining that i felt like i was going to vomit and felt dizzy.
Anyway we never met again. |
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I've had to cancel once or twice on coffee meets for good reason, but when I did, I offered an alternative day straight away so they knew I wasn't just flaking on them. With long-term meets, they know me well enough to know that I don't really cancel... I just postpone  |
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Myself, have always been lucky that I've always been healthy before a meet but a flu, migrane, death of relative, etc can happen or strike an individual at any time...
- now, the genuine people Ihere tend to simply explain, apologise & look to reschedule
- whereas The timewasters tend to look to just cancel or get straight on the defensive or even claim that they were there and you weren't 
...Nobody gets a buzz out of being cancelled on 
so feeling a little annoyed or pissed off being cancelled on or out of pocket is a legitimate feeling.
So for people who genuinely have to cancel I'd say...
Apologise and look to organise the next meet that's more convenient to the other person not you, the next time around...
It's only fair  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Myself, have always been lucky that I've always been healthy before a meet but a flu, migrane, death of relative, etc can happen or strike an individual at any time...
- now, the genuine people Ihere tend to simply explain, apologise & look to reschedule
- whereas The timewasters tend to look to just cancel or get straight on the defensive or even claim that they were there and you weren't
...Nobody gets a buzz out of being cancelled on
so feeling a little annoyed or pissed off being cancelled on or out of pocket is a legitimate feeling.
So for people who genuinely have to cancel I'd say...
Apologise and look to organise the next meet that's more convenient to the other person not you, the next time around...
It's only fair "
Totally agree with you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Myself, have always been lucky that I've always been healthy before a meet but a flu, migrane, death of relative, etc can happen or strike an individual at any time...
- now, the genuine people Ihere tend to simply explain, apologise & look to reschedule
- whereas The timewasters tend to look to just cancel or get straight on the defensive or even claim that they were there and you weren't
...Nobody gets a buzz out of being cancelled on
so feeling a little annoyed or pissed off being cancelled on or out of pocket is a legitimate feeling.
So for people who genuinely have to cancel I'd say...
Apologise and look to organise the next meet that's more convenient to the other person not you, the next time around...
It's only fair "
Excellent advice! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I regularly meet my fb. We both have family and at times each of us have had to cancel at last minute no big deal as we understand the situations we both have . |
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By *uzz_Buzz OP Couple
over a year ago
Dublin |
"I regularly meet my fb. We both have family and at times each of us have had to cancel at last minute no big deal as we understand the situations we both have . "
Rearranging or canceling the new meets, is more difficult, as people might think of excuses or cold feet at the last minute.
With a regular FWB, it should be much easier, as there is a trusted relationship built already. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately there's always going to be annoyance when someone cancels when there's been the effort in organising, putting time aside and of course the excitement and nervousness feelings suddenly subside like a loss of adrenaline but I think as long as you ask in the same breath if they would know if there's another day that suits it would make it a little easier on that person.......not that I'm speaking from experience or anything |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It can be a costly business especially if one party is left with hotel bill. Lots of genuine people here but too many wannabe time wasters. Happy Easter to all you serious players |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Place is full of idiots and time wasters.
I could name 3 couples who seem to be pic collectors and time wasters.
Then again when their last verification is from 2016,I should have known better. |
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Had a meet arranged. She texted that her mother suddenly got sick and offered two alternative days she could meet. I replied that I'm busy at those particular days. She called me a time waster, voiced her suspicions that I'm actually married and blocked me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have to cancel you have to cancel. People have lives outside fab. Some people spend there lives on here and forget that. Try rearrange another meet if that doesnt happen move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A couple of years ago after a few weeks of chatting on here i finally arranged to meet for coffee in town to see how we got on.
About 5 minutes before the meet time i got a message to say that she wouldnt be able to make it as her husband had fell down some stairs at home and she needed to bring him to hospital.
I didnt even know she was married and was led to believe she lived in a bungalow  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A couple of years ago after a few weeks of chatting on here i finally arranged to meet for coffee in town to see how we got on.
About 5 minutes before the meet time i got a message to say that she wouldnt be able to make it as her husband had fell down some stairs at home and she needed to bring him to hospital.
I didnt even know she was married and was led to believe she lived in a bungalow "
Riiiggggght, feeellllll.....another pushy person me thinks!!!? |
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"I had a guy bale on us this morning, apparently his parents decided to come stay for the weekend "
Things like this do happen!! I'm a single who lives alone, which means my nearby family never expect to be interrupting anything and tend to drop in whenever, or my siblings further away announce they've packed up the car and kids and are coming for the weekend
My poor fwb has had to endure some scary moments and last minute postponements because of this. |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Sure we all experienced that life can get into the way of meeting.
What I find a bit bizarre with your 'friend's' story that he doesn't know if he had food poisoning or drank over the top. When I have either or I can clearly tell which one it is. So my best guess is that he drank too much and had to cancel. Because that doesn't sound great, that's where the food poisoning was added on. Tbh I wouldn't be impressed at all if I were let down due to alcohol over-consumption.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can happen, we had a party in February this year, Hubby almost collapsed in gym in December, went to the Docs numerous times and was repeatedly misdiagnosed, ended up at a consultant late Jan and was eventually diagnosed after lots of tests, this all took months and by the time the party came around he was unable to go. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a guy bale on us this morning, apparently his parents decided to come stay for the weekend
Things like this do happen!! I'm a single who lives alone, which means my nearby family never expect to be interrupting anything and tend to drop in whenever, or my siblings further away announce they've packed up the car and kids and are coming for the weekend
My poor fwb has had to endure some scary moments and last minute postponements because of this."
Christ that's a bit rude. I've trained everyone to phone beforehand.  |
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"I had a guy bale on us this morning, apparently his parents decided to come stay for the weekend
Things like this do happen!! I'm a single who lives alone, which means my nearby family never expect to be interrupting anything and tend to drop in whenever, or my siblings further away announce they've packed up the car and kids and are coming for the weekend
My poor fwb has had to endure some scary moments and last minute postponements because of this.
Christ that's a bit rude. I've trained everyone to phone beforehand. "
I wish!! It's not unusual to find my mum rummaging through my fridge or cupboards looking for something she's run out of, having let herself in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a guy bale on us this morning, apparently his parents decided to come stay for the weekend
Things like this do happen!! I'm a single who lives alone, which means my nearby family never expect to be interrupting anything and tend to drop in whenever, or my siblings further away announce they've packed up the car and kids and are coming for the weekend
My poor fwb has had to endure some scary moments and last minute postponements because of this.
Christ that's a bit rude. I've trained everyone to phone beforehand.
I wish!! It's not unusual to find my mum rummaging through my fridge or cupboards looking for something she's run out of, having let herself in "
Boundary awareness eh? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always explain to people that I am a single Mammy and sometimes life gets in the way and I might have to cancel. The vast majority of people are grand about this and totally appreciate that family comes first. I very rarely have to cancel and when I do give as much notice as possible I have only had one guy get annoyed when I cancelled a coffee meet with 24 hours notice. He called me a ignorant c*unt just like all the other sluts on Fab. Quite the charmer! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always explain to people that I am a single Mammy and sometimes life gets in the way and I might have to cancel. The vast majority of people are grand about this and totally appreciate that family comes first. I very rarely have to cancel and when I do give as much notice as possible I have only had one guy get annoyed when I cancelled a coffee meet with 24 hours notice. He called me a ignorant c*unt just like all the other sluts on Fab. Quite the charmer! "
But worth it to find out what he was really like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always explain to people that I am a single Mammy and sometimes life gets in the way and I might have to cancel. The vast majority of people are grand about this and totally appreciate that family comes first. I very rarely have to cancel and when I do give as much notice as possible I have only had one guy get annoyed when I cancelled a coffee meet with 24 hours notice. He called me a ignorant c*unt just like all the other sluts on Fab. Quite the charmer!
But worth it to find out what he was really like"
It was totally worth it. He very quickly revealed his true colours. |
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By *isspafWoman
over a year ago
Dublin |
I had a guy cancel on a first play meet after having coffee 2 weeks prior. Arranged it a few days in advance.
On the day I messaged in the morning to confirm it was still going ahead. He read it and waited 6 hours later to tell me he was cancelling cos he ended up having a Fab meet the night prior and he was "too tired".
Others have flaked an hour or so before and I had two guys not show up to my house and me all dressed and waiting. That shit pisses me off cos it takes time and effort for a woman to get ready  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a guy cancel on a first play meet after having coffee 2 weeks prior. Arranged it a few days in advance.
On the day I messaged in the morning to confirm it was still going ahead. He read it and waited 6 hours later to tell me he was cancelling cos he ended up having a Fab meet the night prior and he was "too tired".
Others have flaked an hour or so before and I had two guys not show up to my house and me all dressed and waiting. That shit pisses me off cos it takes time and effort for a woman to get ready "
Jesus, what idiots would not turn up for you MissPaf!!? |
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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago
South Dublin Area |
"I had a guy cancel on a first play meet after having coffee 2 weeks prior. Arranged it a few days in advance.
On the day I messaged in the morning to confirm it was still going ahead. He read it and waited 6 hours later to tell me he was cancelling cos he ended up having a Fab meet the night prior and he was "too tired".
Others have flaked an hour or so before and I had two guys not show up to my house and me all dressed and waiting. That shit pisses me off cos it takes time and effort for a woman to get ready "
I've a list of excuses on my profile that I've received from single guys after the time arranged for a drink. Like you it's all fine until the day, message to check it's still ok because yes things happen but the mildly infuriating thing is knowing that no one, especially a single guy, let's their phone out of their hand for longer than an hour so waiting until the time passes to respond is just ball-less!
Obviously things happen in life and cancellations are a part of that, not an issue and I'd never be p!ssed at someone who gives me notice even on the day but waiting on a response is just a power play because it is usually me calling the shots in terms of what I'm meeting them for and I feel some of them just don't like that they don't control the purpose of my meets and this is their way. That or they just brick it! They don't get a 2nd chance in this instance.
Manners and an alternate date gets trust. |
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By *isspafWoman
over a year ago
Dublin |
"I've a list of excuses on my profile that I've received from single guys after the time arranged for a drink. Like you it's all fine until the day, message to check it's still ok because yes things happen but the mildly infuriating thing is knowing that no one, especially a single guy, let's their phone out of their hand for longer than an hour so waiting until the time passes to respond is just ball-less!
Obviously things happen in life and cancellations are a part of that, not an issue and I'd never be p!ssed at someone who gives me notice even on the day but waiting on a response is just a power play because it is usually me calling the shots in terms of what I'm meeting them for and I feel some of them just don't like that they don't control the purpose of my meets and this is their way. That or they just brick it! They don't get a 2nd chance in this instance.
Manners and an alternate date gets trust. "
I offered an alternative dates, he avoided my question and eventually said he had arranged a meet with the woman he met the night prior on one of those dates I suggested.
I said I wasn't going to bother trying to arrange a date to meet and for him to let me know when he's free. He said he would. Never heard from him since
Like that, if they offered an alternative or followed up, I'd give them another chance. |
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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago
South Dublin Area |
"I've a list of excuses on my profile that I've received from single guys after the time arranged for a drink. Like you it's all fine until the day, message to check it's still ok because yes things happen but the mildly infuriating thing is knowing that no one, especially a single guy, let's their phone out of their hand for longer than an hour so waiting until the time passes to respond is just ball-less!
Obviously things happen in life and cancellations are a part of that, not an issue and I'd never be p!ssed at someone who gives me notice even on the day but waiting on a response is just a power play because it is usually me calling the shots in terms of what I'm meeting them for and I feel some of them just don't like that they don't control the purpose of my meets and this is their way. That or they just brick it! They don't get a 2nd chance in this instance.
Manners and an alternate date gets trust.
I offered an alternative dates, he avoided my question and eventually said he had arranged a meet with the woman he met the night prior on one of those dates I suggested.
I said I wasn't going to bother trying to arrange a date to meet and for him to let me know when he's free. He said he would. Never heard from him since
Like that, if they offered an alternative or followed up, I'd give them another chance. "
completely agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I must be very lucky never been let down by anyone
Jinx....! Haha "
If I haven’t been let down in over 12 years I doubt saying it is going to jinks anything |
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By *iiboyMan
over a year ago
Tankardstown |
Cancelling for valid reasons had to be allowed , shit does and will happen, so long as you notify the other party as soon as you know , what really gets me and id say most people is the " no show " no explaination , refusal to answer mails/kik/texts and the inevitable block on site  |
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"Probably a lot of you, had to cancel meets for last minute valid reasons.
A good friend of ours, was supposed to meet a woman tonight (she is part of a couple).
All arrangements were done, B&B booked.
Then massive hangover/food poisoning hits him last night.
He wasn't sure himself why it happened, but he was in no shape for the meet and had to cancel.
We had to cancel attending a sex party few months ago, when the kid got sick the night before.
Bee, my partner, twice had to postpone her first solo coffee meet and then her first solo play meet, again when she got sick first, then our kid got sick again just few days ago.
Absolutely genuine reasons to cancel or postpone meets, but so hard to not look like cold feet and feel shit about it.
What is your experience with this kind of situation when real life, shows us that random events in our life makes us look "not genuine" in our efforts to meet someone!? "
Well a reason is better than just nothing and I'm sure there are understanding people here myself included lol when things happen out of the blue its not your fault just life shows its mean side at times |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Probably a lot of you, had to cancel meets for last minute valid reasons.
A good friend of ours, was supposed to meet a woman tonight (she is part of a couple).
All arrangements were done, B&B booked.
Then massive hangover/food poisoning hits him last night.
He wasn't sure himself why it happened, but he was in no shape for the meet and had to cancel.
We had to cancel attending a sex party few months ago, when the kid got sick the night before.
Bee, my partner, twice had to postpone her first solo coffee meet and then her first solo play meet, again when she got sick first, then our kid got sick again just few days ago.
Absolutely genuine reasons to cancel or postpone meets, but so hard to not look like cold feet and feel shit about it.
What is your experience with this kind of situation when real life, shows us that random events in our life makes us look "not genuine" in our efforts to meet someone!? "
Everyone has a life out of Fab which takes precedence.
If someone genuinely has to cancel they should do so with a plan to meet at a future date.
I'd be more inclined to believe them then. |
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"Cancelling for valid reasons had to be allowed , shit does and will happen, so long as you notify the other party as soon as you know , what really gets me and id say most people is the " no show " no explaination , refusal to answer mails/kik/texts and the inevitable block on site "
This right here
Those people piss me off no end. |
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