FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > CONFESSION BOOTH... One-up-manship /one-up-womanship
CONFESSION BOOTH... One-up-manship /one-up-womanship
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If we are honest most of us are guilty of One-up-manship /one-up-womanship at one stage or other whether it be subtle or obvious. Joining in with the concensus of pilloring, stating the obvious in a subtly different way even if it's been stated before, correcting facts whether it be a tiny issue, the grammar and spelling police... most of us find it hard to resist tearing a strip from our peers when we can.
Even attention seeking forum posts like this lol.
So as this is a CONFESSION BOOTH feel free to spill... have you done it and what was your favorite method subtle or unsubtle. Examples too where you are willing to give. No judgement just free your soul  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In fairness I wouldn't consider frankness (is that a word?) and character attributes to be 'one up man ship'. To me its more a conscious decision, sometimes reactive especially in argumental situations. |
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"In fairness I wouldn't consider frankness (is that a word?) and character attributes to be 'one up man ship'. To me its more a conscious decision, sometimes reactive especially in argumental situations. "
Ok... Seriously though... Where's my flogger? I was expecting penance!!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we are honest most of us are guilty of One-up-manship /one-up-womanship at one stage or other whether it be subtle or obvious. Joining in with the concensus of pilloring, stating the obvious in a subtly different way even if it's been stated before, correcting facts whether it be a tiny issue, the grammar and spelling police... most of us find it hard to resist tearing a strip from our peers when we can.
Even attention seeking forum posts like this lol.
So as this is a CONFESSION BOOTH feel free to spill... have you done it and what was your favorite method subtle or unsubtle. Examples too where you are willing to give. No judgement just free your soul "
i'll confess i've done nitpicking and calling people on their bullshit especailly if i didn't like them. that was a long time ago though and have seen that it is childish and stupid. people have picked what i have said on started threads about it. these are ignored as i don't wish to be involved in drama. i've too much going on to be dragged into fab drama.
as for the tiny fact correcting and the spelling/grammar thing i never understood it. I usually put it as people with too much time on their hands. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well said. Also as there has already been an example of it posting a negative comment rather than a contribution and things like irrelevant postings to site threads would anyone consider that one up man ship or negging |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well said. Also as there has already been an example of it posting a negative comment rather than a contribution and things like irrelevant postings to site threads would anyone consider that one up man ship or negging"
If the post is giving an alternative view...that's one thing...but posts that just pfffing the OP, I would see that as negging. |
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"If we are honest most of us are guilty of One-up-manship /one-up-womanship at one stage or other whether it be subtle or obvious. Joining in with the concensus of pilloring, stating the obvious in a subtly different way even if it's been stated before, correcting facts whether it be a tiny issue, the grammar and spelling police... most of us find it hard to resist tearing a strip from our peers when we can.
Even attention seeking forum posts like this lol.
So as this is a CONFESSION BOOTH feel free to spill... have you done it and what was your favorite method subtle or unsubtle. Examples too where you are willing to give. No judgement just free your soul
i'll confess i've done nitpicking and calling people on their bullshit especailly if i didn't like them. that was a long time ago though and have seen that it is childish and stupid. people have picked what i have said on started threads about it. these are ignored as i don't wish to be involved in drama. i've too much going on to be dragged into fab drama.
as for the tiny fact correcting and the spelling/grammar thing i never understood it. I usually put it as people with too much time on their hands."
Why do people get so upset by anyone correcting spelling or grammar?? If I'm wrong about a fact, I expect someone to correct me... If someone doesn't point out that I'm wrong, I'm likely to (wrongly) keep thinking it's right. My education and thirst for knowledge didn't stop when I finished college. Even most days on the forums I'll learn something new, either via a thread or in pm about a thread... So why does this one particular thing seem to bother people so much? If I point out to someone that they used discrete when they meant discreet, or that definitely and defiantly aren't the same thing, am I not being helpful? Particularly for members for whom English isn't their first language, it can be very easy to pick up bad habits from reading posts or messages where folk consistently use incorrect spellings and grammar. And while the person being correcting might not appreciate being corrected, someone else reading might realise they've been saying something wrong for years and appreciate the heads up.
Is it worse to be helped/corrected or to condemn those who try?
There’s no one-upmanship intended in this reply. I'm just offering a different perspective on the spelling/grammar thing. It surprises me how upset people get over it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Totally agree with both posts above. Re spelling First World problem and they don't realise that sometimes it might actually cause harm to someone especially if they have any reading or writing issues. |
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"In fairness I wouldn't consider frankness (is that a word?) and character attributes to be 'one up man ship'. To me its more a conscious decision, sometimes reactive especially in argumental situations.
Ok... Seriously though... Where's my flogger? I was expecting penance!! "
I volunteer, assume the position
I don't get too hung up on peoples grammar or spelling. As already pointed out English might not be a persons first language or they may be dyslexic or similar.
Constant text speak in a profile or email conversation is annoying. I think it shows a lack of interest by the person using it.
As for one upmanship, this one time, at band camp.... actually it was at a swingers club. Myself another guy and a woman were chatting at the bar and there was a porn video playing on the tv. He remarked "I don't know why they show those things in clubs, it just makes the men here feel inadequate". I looked at him with surprise and replied "speak for yyourself".
Probably a bit mean of me but my wicked sense of humour just took over  |
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Probably, I don't see myself as above or below anyone else. I've met people in real life who always have a better job, car, holiday, story to tell etc; It doesn't bother me, I just let them ramble on & eventually they will say something that I can pounce on & bring them back down to earth |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well said. Also as there has already been an example of it posting a negative comment rather than a contribution and things like irrelevant postings to site threads would anyone consider that one up man ship or negging
If the post is giving an alternative view...that's one thing...but posts that just pfffing the OP, I would see that as negging."
us as well. recent threads show this as well as a thread about killing kittens party here in ireland being outted. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we are honest most of us are guilty of One-up-manship /one-up-womanship at one stage or other whether it be subtle or obvious. Joining in with the concensus of pilloring, stating the obvious in a subtly different way even if it's been stated before, correcting facts whether it be a tiny issue, the grammar and spelling police... most of us find it hard to resist tearing a strip from our peers when we can.
Even attention seeking forum posts like this lol.
So as this is a CONFESSION BOOTH feel free to spill... have you done it and what was your favorite method subtle or unsubtle. Examples too where you are willing to give. No judgement just free your soul
i'll confess i've done nitpicking and calling people on their bullshit especailly if i didn't like them. that was a long time ago though and have seen that it is childish and stupid. people have picked what i have said on started threads about it. these are ignored as i don't wish to be involved in drama. i've too much going on to be dragged into fab drama.
as for the tiny fact correcting and the spelling/grammar thing i never understood it. I usually put it as people with too much time on their hands.
Why do people get so upset by anyone correcting spelling or grammar?? If I'm wrong about a fact, I expect someone to correct me... If someone doesn't point out that I'm wrong, I'm likely to (wrongly) keep thinking it's right. My education and thirst for knowledge didn't stop when I finished college. Even most days on the forums I'll learn something new, either via a thread or in pm about a thread... So why does this one particular thing seem to bother people so much? If I point out to someone that they used discrete when they meant discreet, or that definitely and defiantly aren't the same thing, am I not being helpful? Particularly for members for whom English isn't their first language, it can be very easy to pick up bad habits from reading posts or messages where folk consistently use incorrect spellings and grammar. And while the person being correcting might not appreciate being corrected, someone else reading might realise they've been saying something wrong for years and appreciate the heads up.
Is it worse to be helped/corrected or to condemn those who try?
There’s no one-upmanship intended in this reply. I'm just offering a different perspective on the spelling/grammar thing. It surprises me how upset people get over it. "
not taken as one up manship. i see the spelling correction as being rude as well nit picking especially to the newer posters. that's my opinion anyway. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we are honest most of us are guilty of One-up-manship /one-up-womanship at one stage or other whether it be subtle or obvious. Joining in with the concensus of pilloring, stating the obvious in a subtly different way even if it's been stated before, correcting facts whether it be a tiny issue, the grammar and spelling police... most of us find it hard to resist tearing a strip from our peers when we can.
Even attention seeking forum posts like this lol.
So as this is a CONFESSION BOOTH feel free to spill... have you done it and what was your favorite method subtle or unsubtle. Examples too where you are willing to give. No judgement just free your soul
i'll confess i've done nitpicking and calling people on their bullshit especailly if i didn't like them. that was a long time ago though and have seen that it is childish and stupid. people have picked what i have said on started threads about it. these are ignored as i don't wish to be involved in drama. i've too much going on to be dragged into fab drama.
as for the tiny fact correcting and the spelling/grammar thing i never understood it. I usually put it as people with too much time on their hands.
Why do people get so upset by anyone correcting spelling or grammar?? If I'm wrong about a fact, I expect someone to correct me... If someone doesn't point out that I'm wrong, I'm likely to (wrongly) keep thinking it's right. My education and thirst for knowledge didn't stop when I finished college. Even most days on the forums I'll learn something new, either via a thread or in pm about a thread... So why does this one particular thing seem to bother people so much? If I point out to someone that they used discrete when they meant discreet, or that definitely and defiantly aren't the same thing, am I not being helpful? Particularly for members for whom English isn't their first language, it can be very easy to pick up bad habits from reading posts or messages where folk consistently use incorrect spellings and grammar. And while the person being correcting might not appreciate being corrected, someone else reading might realise they've been saying something wrong for years and appreciate the heads up.
Is it worse to be helped/corrected or to condemn those who try?
There’s no one-upmanship intended in this reply. I'm just offering a different perspective on the spelling/grammar thing. It surprises me how upset people get over it.
not taken as one up manship. i see the spelling correction as being rude as well nit picking especially to the newer posters. that's my opinion anyway. "
It’s One-upmanship btw |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't bother voicing my opinion anymore on the forum as 99% of the time time it is ignored.
So is that others having oneupmanship?
"
Awww P... I don’t ignore ya xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I tend to not think through my posts and type thoughts as they pop into my head...
This has lead the odd time to me being wrong....... I sometimes will npt admit this |
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"I tend to not think through my posts and type thoughts as they pop into my head...
This has lead the odd time to me being wrong....... I sometimes will npt admit this "
Cheers... At least now I know you don't really mean it when you say Cherry Garcia is not a good ice cream! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I tend to not think through my posts and type thoughts as they pop into my head...
This has lead the odd time to me being wrong....... I sometimes will npt admit this "
I think we are all guilty of that too... Pride in admitting we are wrong is a terrible thing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I don't bother voicing my opinion anymore on the forum as 99% of the time time it is ignored.
So is that others having oneupmanship?
"
Yes I have seen this over the years on occasion it can be just life but when it happens 99% of the time it's nearly a silent bullying. And from other threads I see that some are told not to communicate to others which is ridiculous as we all individuals and all equal. IMHO  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I probably am reactive sometimes and I apologize if I ever hurt anyone but I’m usually sensitive to peoples feelings maybe overly so, I try not bite on those threads that go up for reactions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I probably am reactive sometimes and I apologize if I ever hurt anyone but I’m usually sensitive to peoples feelings maybe overly so, I try not bite on those threads that go up for reactions. "
Well I can assure u this isn't one of those. And yes I can empthaise with you. I know I have pissed off a few over the years without intention but good intention taken bad. And sad for that as I'm a lover of positives rather than negatives. So I profoundly apologise where and when I have. |
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"I'm just pretty much a cunt to almost everyone. But, I save my best cuntishness for white knights and their ilk."
Oh and those that are facetious in their profiles demanding respect and politeness whilst being utter cockwombles in their profiles x x x x x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just pretty much a cunt to almost everyone. But, I save my best cuntishness for white knights and their ilk.
Oh and those that are facetious in their profiles demanding respect and politeness whilst being utter cockwombles in their profiles x x x x x"
I admire your honesty fairplay |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good thread op. And still it turns into a thread with people turning it into a bragging it's all about me thread. Dyslexia is real people who correct others really do have very small minds no matter how well educated they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just pretty much a cunt to almost everyone. But, I save my best cuntishness for white knights and their ilk.
Oh and those that are facetious in their profiles demanding respect and politeness whilst being utter cockwombles in their profiles x x x x x"
Wombles tune earworm  |
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"I'm just pretty much a cunt to almost everyone. But, I save my best cuntishness for white knights and their ilk.
Oh and those that are facetious in their profiles demanding respect and politeness whilst being utter cockwombles in their profiles x x x x x
I admire your honesty fairplay"
Unfortunately the mods don't share your admiration as my many naughty step time outs will testify |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm just pretty much a cunt to almost everyone. But, I save my best cuntishness for white knights and their ilk.
Oh and those that are facetious in their profiles demanding respect and politeness whilst being utter cockwombles in their profiles x x x x x
I admire your honesty fairplay
Unfortunately the mods don't share your admiration as my many naughty step time outs will testify "
I've been there. Lol |
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"I'm just pretty much a cunt to almost everyone. But, I save my best cuntishness for white knights and their ilk.
Oh and those that are facetious in their profiles demanding respect and politeness whilst being utter cockwombles in their profiles x x x x x
Thought you looked familiar hahaha
I admire your honesty fairplay
Unfortunately the mods don't share your admiration as my many naughty step time outs will testify
I've been there. Lol"
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"Good thread op. And still it turns into a thread with people turning it into a bragging it's all about me thread. Dyslexia is real people who correct others really do have very small minds no matter how well educated they are. "
Do you feel better now? Has that little dig about education helped you feel morally superior? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good thread op. And still it turns into a thread with people turning it into a bragging it's all about me thread. Dyslexia is real people who correct others really do have very small minds no matter how well educated they are.
Do you feel better now? Has that little dig about education helped you feel morally superior? "
Oh wow.it wasn't a dig . But WOW |
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"Good thread op. And still it turns into a thread with people turning it into a bragging it's all about me thread. Dyslexia is real people who correct others really do have very small minds no matter how well educated they are.
Do you feel better now? Has that little dig about education helped you feel morally superior? "
See now I'm confused. Is this a play on the message of the post or is it something else? |
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"Good thread op. And still it turns into a thread with people turning it into a bragging it's all about me thread. Dyslexia is real people who correct others really do have very small minds no matter how well educated they are.
Do you feel better now? Has that little dig about education helped you feel morally superior?
See now I'm confused. Is this a play on the message of the post or is it something else? "
Well spotted |
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"Good thread op. And still it turns into a thread with people turning it into a bragging it's all about me thread. Dyslexia is real people who correct others really do have very small minds no matter how well educated they are.
Do you feel better now? Has that little dig about education helped you feel morally superior?
See now I'm confused. Is this a play on the message of the post or is it something else?
Well spotted "
Phew |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Good thread op. And still it turns into a thread with people turning it into a bragging it's all about me thread. Dyslexia is real people who correct others really do have very small minds no matter how well educated they are.
Do you feel better now? Has that little dig about education helped you feel morally superior?
See now I'm confused. Is this a play on the message of the post or is it something else? "
Someone just got out the wrong side of the bed. Lovely day out there im off out not spend the day on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"OK guys can we get back to the point of the topic rather than diverting from it. Xxx love and hugs all around. "
I think its right on point... great examoles of one upping  |
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"OK guys can we get back to the point of the topic rather than diverting from it. Xxx love and hugs all around.
I think its right on point... great examoles of one upping "
He gets it ^^^ 
Pssstt...  *examples... don't tell anyone I told you |
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"OK guys can we get back to the point of the topic rather than diverting from it. Xxx love and hugs all around.
I think its right on point... great examoles of one upping
He gets it ^^^
Pssstt... *examples... don't tell anyone I told you "
If only I was 99 |
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