FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Single parents meets.
Single parents meets.
Jump to: Newest in thread
| |||
| |||
"Sorry but no I don't think it's okay to bring a person whom you know very little about into your home with your children there. As a single parent I never had a guy in my home while my child slept. But each to their in but put it this way if the kids father (whether in involved or not I didn't not know) but if he had them on overnight and he had some random woman over how would you feel? I know it can be hard to get a babysitter etc have you a friend that would stay over and mind them? Plenty of guys look for day meets too. Hope you get some fun sorted. It's tough raising kids alone." Thanks for the feed back. It was actually my ex idea. He a swinger here too. He lives over in the UK and thought I could do with a fab night. I don't get support from family or friends to have my boys at the moment. | |||
"Sorry but no I don't think it's okay to bring a person whom you know very little about into your home with your children there. As a single parent I never had a guy in my home while my child slept. But each to their in but put it this way if the kids father (whether in involved or not I didn't not know) but if he had them on overnight and he had some random woman over how would you feel? I know it can be hard to get a babysitter etc have you a friend that would stay over and mind them? Plenty of guys look for day meets too. Hope you get some fun sorted. It's tough raising kids alone. Thanks for the feed back. It was actually my ex idea. He a swinger here too. He lives over in the UK and thought I could do with a fab night. I don't get support from family or friends to have my boys at the moment." Sorry to hear that your family and friends don't give support x | |||
| |||
"I have a question and would love members answers. I am a single mom with 3 kids. I have them full time and don't have any breaks. Can't get a babysitter.not from lack of trying. So I was wondering would members or if there any members in the same boat as me. Do you think it's ok to arrange a meet at home. Even though kids are upstairs asleep. I am just wondering it would only be people I know and met before and even trust . My oldest would be asleep every night well out of the count by 10pm as he goes to bed at 8.30 on school nights and at 9 weekends. Is it wrong or should I go for it. Been asked a lot lately to meet and again today but not sure should I and would others be willing to meet me especially knowing kids are upstairs asleep." definitely not thats ur sanctum and safe place where u and ur kiddies live. idea go for coffee meet when kids at school or creche. always be safe and careful. | |||
| |||
"Thanks everyone think I will stick to coffee meets in till I get a night away." Good decision  | |||
| |||
| |||
"Few questions come to mind reading the responses. Not sure if anyone saw you said you only consider someone you knew and trusted. Also the age of your kids, do they sleep through the night, when they wake do they come downstairs or go into your room to look for you? Do people never bring a guest into their home for coffee or chat that kids have never met, male or female? Is it different bringing your male fwb than your female fwb if your bi? If so why any different? What's the difference of bringing home a bf/fwb for the first time. How do you introduce him/her to your kids first? Do those with older kids allow them to bring their gf/bf over? I ask this as I've me a few in their home when kids were there sleeping. I was a little uncomfortable about it at first at the concern of one waking and come across us, this fear has never realised." I think this would only happen if you knew each other really well, not just random guys calling over while the kids are in bed | |||
"Few questions come to mind reading the responses. Not sure if anyone saw you said you only consider someone you knew and trusted. Also the age of your kids, do they sleep through the night, when they wake do they come downstairs or go into your room to look for you? Do people never bring a guest into their home for coffee or chat that kids have never met, male or female? Is it different bringing your male fwb than your female fwb if your bi? If so why any different? What's the difference of bringing home a bf/fwb for the first time. How do you introduce him/her to your kids first? Do those with older kids allow them to bring their gf/bf over? I ask this as I've me a few in their home when kids were there sleeping. I was a little uncomfortable about it at first at the concern of one waking and come across us, this fear has never realised." I get what you mean about knowing and trusting them. But I still wouldnt feel comfortable having a "meet" with someones kids in the house personally. If it got to the point where I was going to someones house with their kids asleep upstairs its gone beyond a fab meet relationship. | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
"As someone previously said... Its your safe place and your kids home. I wouldn't bring a meet there. In fact even as someone who doesn't have kids, or any of your concerns, I made a decision a while back not to accomm anymore for anyone other than my long term fwb, because someone abused that privilege and told others where I lived and what my home was like. I know it's not easy OP, and I do feel for people in your situation, but I heartily commend you on putting your kids first. As someone suggested... Save up for a sitter, or maybe try to arrange a sleepover for your kids with friends one night. Maybe even find another swinging mum who you can alternate babysitting favours with and help each other out " (thumb Great advice here, i agree, safety for you and your kids comes first. It's to risky. | |||
| |||
"Few questions come to mind reading the responses. Not sure if anyone saw you said you only consider someone you knew and trusted. Also the age of your kids, do they sleep through the night, when they wake do they come downstairs or go into your room to look for you? Do people never bring a guest into their home for coffee or chat that kids have never met, male or female? Is it different bringing your male fwb than your female fwb if your bi? If so why any different? What's the difference of bringing home a bf/fwb for the first time. How do you introduce him/her to your kids first? Do those with older kids allow them to bring their gf/bf over? I ask this as I've me a few in their home when kids were there sleeping. I was a little uncomfortable about it at first at the concern of one waking and come across us, this fear has never realised." It's not about whether kids will wake up or not. It's about keeping their living environment a safe, protected space for them. It's an extreme example, granted, but think how you would feel if your local national school, creche or Playzone was being used for swinging parties at night? Even though they're empty at night and no children are present, people would still be outraged and horrified that a place seen as a safe space for children was being used for casual sex, wouldn't they? Now, what safer and more protected space for children is their own home? Shouldn't those same sentiments apply? As for bringing guests into the house just for a coffee or chat... I'm sure most folk even think hard enough about doing this (parents or not), as innocent as it all may be. Even when getting estimates for work on the house, I worry about who I'm giving access to. Your home is a sacred space, and once that's been violated in some way, it changes forever. You never feel the same about it again. | |||
"Few questions come to mind reading the responses. Not sure if anyone saw you said you only consider someone you knew and trusted. Also the age of your kids, do they sleep through the night, when they wake do they come downstairs or go into your room to look for you? Do people never bring a guest into their home for coffee or chat that kids have never met, male or female? Is it different bringing your male fwb than your female fwb if your bi? If so why any different? What's the difference of bringing home a bf/fwb for the first time. How do you introduce him/her to your kids first? Do those with older kids allow them to bring their gf/bf over? I ask this as I've me a few in their home when kids were there sleeping. I was a little uncomfortable about it at first at the concern of one waking and come across us, this fear has never realised. It's not about whether kids will wake up or not. It's about keeping their living environment a safe, protected space for them. It's an extreme example, granted, but think how you would feel if your local national school, creche or Playzone was being used for swinging parties at night? Even though they're empty at night and no children are present, people would still be outraged and horrified that a place seen as a safe space for children was being used for casual sex, wouldn't they? Now, what safer and more protected space for children is their own home? Shouldn't those same sentiments apply? As for bringing guests into the house just for a coffee or chat... I'm sure most folk even think hard enough about doing this (parents or not), as innocent as it all may be. Even when getting estimates for work on the house, I worry about who I'm giving access to. Your home is a sacred space, and once that's been violated in some way, it changes forever. You never feel the same about it again." Thank you. I'll be blunt. I think some of the concerns about keeping it a safe place by not inviting fabbers around are less founded than leaving your young kids with close friends or wider family members. There's a higher % of abuse arise from that demographic than complete ransoms, and in today's world It's not just men. But maybe it's more than that issue. I must be quite different as my home when we were together was very much an open door to anyone. It was an extension of how I was raised too. Strangers we met often invited in, had travelers from biking community or backpackers stay overnight too. It was a great environment for my girls to hear amazing travel stories and of places around the world. Never ever did I think my kids would have been any less safe as a result either. If anything I'd say they learned, counter to what media pushes all the time, that people are generally amazing, kind, considerate and giving. The result is that one went to Australia and has settled there, another in England and a third soon off to Canada. Two of these have backpacked solo around eastern Europe, India and Nepal. One with another girl to Turkey. Worst thing ever happened was one had her travel friend leave her to finish alone as she had become home sick after a week. Yes we need to not put ourselves in harm's way, but there's a balance of teaching kids by certain exposure and glass-housing them. They may have long healthy stems but little hidden root structure. Maybe this is a bit off topic, but it's not too far. | |||
"Few questions come to mind reading the responses. Not sure if anyone saw you said you only consider someone you knew and trusted. Also the age of your kids, do they sleep through the night, when they wake do they come downstairs or go into your room to look for you? Do people never bring a guest into their home for coffee or chat that kids have never met, male or female? Is it different bringing your male fwb than your female fwb if your bi? If so why any different? What's the difference of bringing home a bf/fwb for the first time. How do you introduce him/her to your kids first? Do those with older kids allow them to bring their gf/bf over? I ask this as I've me a few in their home when kids were there sleeping. I was a little uncomfortable about it at first at the concern of one waking and come across us, this fear has never realised. It's not about whether kids will wake up or not. It's about keeping their living environment a safe, protected space for them. It's an extreme example, granted, but think how you would feel if your local national school, creche or Playzone was being used for swinging parties at night? Even though they're empty at night and no children are present, people would still be outraged and horrified that a place seen as a safe space for children was being used for casual sex, wouldn't they? Now, what safer and more protected space for children is their own home? Shouldn't those same sentiments apply? As for bringing guests into the house just for a coffee or chat... I'm sure most folk even think hard enough about doing this (parents or not), as innocent as it all may be. Even when getting estimates for work on the house, I worry about who I'm giving access to. Your home is a sacred space, and once that's been violated in some way, it changes forever. You never feel the same about it again. Thank you. I'll be blunt. I think some of the concerns about keeping it a safe place by not inviting fabbers around are less founded than leaving your young kids with close friends or wider family members. There's a higher % of abuse arise from that demographic than complete ransoms, and in today's world It's not just men. But maybe it's more than that issue. I must be quite different as my home when we were together was very much an open door to anyone. It was an extension of how I was raised too. Strangers we met often invited in, had travelers from biking community or backpackers stay overnight too. It was a great environment for my girls to hear amazing travel stories and of places around the world. Never ever did I think my kids would have been any less safe as a result either. If anything I'd say they learned, counter to what media pushes all the time, that people are generally amazing, kind, considerate and giving. The result is that one went to Australia and has settled there, another in England and a third soon off to Canada. Two of these have backpacked solo around eastern Europe, India and Nepal. One with another girl to Turkey. Worst thing ever happened was one had her travel friend leave her to finish alone as she had become home sick after a week. Yes we need to not put ourselves in harm's way, but there's a balance of teaching kids by certain exposure and glass-housing them. They may have long healthy stems but little hidden root structure. Maybe this is a bit off topic, but it's not too far." Yes but I am guessing you had a long term partner/husband when allow these strangers in your home? When it's a single parent I think it is more vulnerable. | |||
"Few questions come to mind reading the responses. Not sure if anyone saw you said you only consider someone you knew and trusted. Also the age of your kids, do they sleep through the night, when they wake do they come downstairs or go into your room to look for you? Do people never bring a guest into their home for coffee or chat that kids have never met, male or female? Is it different bringing your male fwb than your female fwb if your bi? If so why any different? What's the difference of bringing home a bf/fwb for the first time. How do you introduce him/her to your kids first? Do those with older kids allow them to bring their gf/bf over? I ask this as I've me a few in their home when kids were there sleeping. I was a little uncomfortable about it at first at the concern of one waking and come across us, this fear has never realised. It's not about whether kids will wake up or not. It's about keeping their living environment a safe, protected space for them. It's an extreme example, granted, but think how you would feel if your local national school, creche or Playzone was being used for swinging parties at night? Even though they're empty at night and no children are present, people would still be outraged and horrified that a place seen as a safe space for children was being used for casual sex, wouldn't they? Now, what safer and more protected space for children is their own home? Shouldn't those same sentiments apply? As for bringing guests into the house just for a coffee or chat... I'm sure most folk even think hard enough about doing this (parents or not), as innocent as it all may be. Even when getting estimates for work on the house, I worry about who I'm giving access to. Your home is a sacred space, and once that's been violated in some way, it changes forever. You never feel the same about it again. Thank you. I'll be blunt. I think some of the concerns about keeping it a safe place by not inviting fabbers around are less founded than leaving your young kids with close friends or wider family members. There's a higher % of abuse arise from that demographic than complete ransoms, and in today's world It's not just men. But maybe it's more than that issue. I must be quite different as my home when we were together was very much an open door to anyone. It was an extension of how I was raised too. Strangers we met often invited in, had travelers from biking community or backpackers stay overnight too. It was a great environment for my girls to hear amazing travel stories and of places around the world. Never ever did I think my kids would have been any less safe as a result either. If anything I'd say they learned, counter to what media pushes all the time, that people are generally amazing, kind, considerate and giving. The result is that one went to Australia and has settled there, another in England and a third soon off to Canada. Two of these have backpacked solo around eastern Europe, India and Nepal. One with another girl to Turkey. Worst thing ever happened was one had her travel friend leave her to finish alone as she had become home sick after a week. Yes we need to not put ourselves in harm's way, but there's a balance of teaching kids by certain exposure and glass-housing them. They may have long healthy stems but little hidden root structure. Maybe this is a bit off topic, but it's not too far." It's a bit of a difference to have guests at your house offering traditional hospitality than a fabber for a fuck. Don't really think you can compare them with each other. Problem is with kids, even when they're at the stage of sleeping through the night, they can suddenly stay there with a sicky tummy or a sore troath or waking up from a bad dream. Imagine as a kid waking in on your mum being physically with a complete stranger.... now explain that one to a ie 7 year old. | |||
| |||
"I have a question and would love members answers. I am a single mom with 3 kids. I have them full time and don't have any breaks. Can't get a babysitter.not from lack of trying. So I was wondering would members or if there any members in the same boat as me. Do you think it's ok to arrange a meet at home. Even though kids are upstairs asleep. I am just wondering it would only be people I know and met before and even trust . My oldest would be asleep every night well out of the count by 10pm as he goes to bed at 8.30 on school nights and at 9 weekends. Is it wrong or should I go for it. Been asked a lot lately to meet and again today but not sure should I and would others be willing to meet me especially knowing kids are upstairs asleep." I used to allow one person from Fab stay over. But we were meeting frequently and after a few month's I allowed him to stay over and he met the kids. It wasn't something I considered lightly. He's a Father himself so he respected my caution about having him stay over. I wouldn't consider it for once off meets. As a single Mammy you just have to be extra cautious. Have you got any friends that can babysit in return for you minding their kids. That's how I get my very odd night away. | |||
| |||
| |||
 | |||
"I have a question and would love members answers. I am a single mom with 3 kids. I have them full time and don't have any breaks. Can't get a babysitter.not from lack of trying. So I was wondering would members or if there any members in the same boat as me. Do you think it's ok to arrange a meet at home. Even though kids are upstairs asleep. I am just wondering it would only be people I know and met before and even trust . My oldest would be asleep every night well out of the count by 10pm as he goes to bed at 8.30 on school nights and at 9 weekends. Is it wrong or should I go for it. Been asked a lot lately to meet and again today but not sure should I and would others be willing to meet me especially knowing kids are upstairs asleep. I used to allow one person from Fab stay over. But we were meeting frequently and after a few month's I allowed him to stay over and he met the kids. It wasn't something I considered lightly. He's a Father himself so he respected my caution about having him stay over. I wouldn't consider it for once off meets. As a single Mammy you just have to be extra cautious. Have you got any friends that can babysit in return for you minding their kids. That's how I get my very odd night away. " But who did you explain him as.....? | |||
| |||
"So many replies slating fellow fabbers as some kind of ungodly sex monsters which if a kid would see - something most terrible would instantly happen. In reality - only you are good to judge who you want to invite into your home and who you would trust enough. I'm sure your kids will stay safe at all times as you're actually there to keep them safe. And if any questions are asked - that's what while lies are for. Just because you're not in a relationship with anyone and want to keep it casual doesn't mean that out of a sudden you'll just turn your house into some sex den and start inviting hundreds of random strangers... " | |||
"So many replies slating fellow fabbers as some kind of ungodly sex monsters which if a kid would see - something most terrible would instantly happen. In reality - only you are good to judge who you want to invite into your home and who you would trust enough. I'm sure your kids will stay safe at all times as you're actually there to keep them safe. And if any questions are asked - that's what while lies are for. Just because you're not in a relationship with anyone and want to keep it casual doesn't mean that out of a sudden you'll just turn your house into some sex den and start inviting hundreds of random strangers... " | |||
"Well as a single mom too and knowing the op.. I think people are missing the point. The person is well known to her and I've been in the same situation.No one is gonna invite a random stranger into their home without having met them somewhere and built up a trust..its a very hard situation to be in.xxx " Nowhere in her original post she says the person is well known to her. That's different and you f she's comfortable bringing him into her home that's her choice. Maybe have him call around during the day so kids know it's mums friend. | |||
"Well as a single mom too and knowing the op.. I think people are missing the point. The person is well known to her and I've been in the same situation.No one is gonna invite a random stranger into their home without having met them somewhere and built up a trust..its a very hard situation to be in.xxx Nowhere in her original post she says the person is well known to her. That's different and you f she's comfortable bringing him into her home that's her choice. Maybe have him call around during the day so kids know it's mums friend. " She actually did say that she would only invite people she already knows and trusts | |||
"Well as a single mom too and knowing the op.. I think people are missing the point. The person is well known to her and I've been in the same situation.No one is gonna invite a random stranger into their home without having met them somewhere and built up a trust..its a very hard situation to be in.xxx Nowhere in her original post she says the person is well known to her. That's different and you f she's comfortable bringing him into her home that's her choice. Maybe have him call around during the day so kids know it's mums friend. She actually did say that she would only invite people she already knows and trusts " So she did. Sorry don't see what issue is then. If she trusts them why not. | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
"Would the same judgement be passed on a single father for bringing a fab fb over? Lads it's 2019, we're entering into a more sex positive world, ultimately OP you do what you want to do as long as it doesn't effect the child why does it matter to so many people. Walk a a day in another person's shoes before casting judgement folks "Yeah I think it would be the same if OP was a single father...it's the fact of there being kids in the house..the possibility of them waking up and maybe walking in on something that they shouldn't see. .or the potential tits up aftermath if meet doesn't go to plan and she has to ask him to leave or some other horror..clearly the OP has concerns as she hasn't done it yet. .getting other people's opposing views may help her to decide what is best for her to do | |||
"Would the same judgement be passed on a single father for bringing a fab fb over? Lads it's 2019, we're entering into a more sex positive world, ultimately OP you do what you want to do as long as it doesn't effect the child why does it matter to so many people. Walk a a day in another person's shoes before casting judgement folks
Yeah I think it would be the same if OP was a single father...it's the fact of there being kids in the house..the possibility of them waking up and maybe walking in on something that they shouldn't see. .or the potential tits up aftermath if meet doesn't go to plan and she has to ask him to leave or some other horror..clearly the OP has concerns as she hasn't done it yet. .getting other people's opposing views may help her to decide what is best for her to do"I see what you're saying but I've met the OP previously and she's a good judge of character I'm sure she'd know the person well enough before bringing them back to her house I suppose if it were to be done it needs planning and the trust of the other person | |||
"Would the same judgement be passed on a single father for bringing a fab fb over? Lads it's 2019, we're entering into a more sex positive world, ultimately OP you do what you want to do as long as it doesn't effect the child why does it matter to so many people. Walk a a day in another person's shoes before casting judgement folks "Well as a single parent I gave my opinion and if I was a parent of small kid again I would have the same attitude I had when my son was growing up, no random men in our home. And I only dated once when he was 5 for a few months and it took a while before I trusted the guy enough to have him stay over but each to their own. | |||
"Would the same judgement be passed on a single father for bringing a fab fb over? Lads it's 2019, we're entering into a more sex positive world, ultimately OP you do what you want to do as long as it doesn't effect the child why does it matter to so many people. Walk a a day in another person's shoes before casting judgement folks
Well as a single parent I gave my opinion and if I was a parent of small kid again I would have the same attitude I had when my son was growing up, no random men in our home. And I only dated once when he was 5 for a few months and it took a while before I trusted the guy enough to have him stay over but each to their own. "The OP never mentioned random though that's just an assumption that was presumed. Yes each to their own exactly but I don't believe the OP meant just bringing randomer she'd never met back | |||
"Would the same judgement be passed on a single father for bringing a fab fb over? Lads it's 2019, we're entering into a more sex positive world, ultimately OP you do what you want to do as long as it doesn't effect the child why does it matter to so many people. Walk a a day in another person's shoes before casting judgement folks
Well as a single parent I gave my opinion and if I was a parent of small kid again I would have the same attitude I had when my son was growing up, no random men in our home. And I only dated once when he was 5 for a few months and it took a while before I trusted the guy enough to have him stay over but each to their own.
The OP never mentioned random though that's just an assumption that was presumed.
Yes each to their own exactly but I don't believe the OP meant just bringing randomer she'd never met back "No she didn't , she said she trusted him in her original post. And I apologized in an earlier post for missing that. But as a single mum we are still judged by men even on here it happens. All in well saying it's a modern society but I have seen first hand how guys can judge just because they think u sleep around. | |||
"Would the same judgement be passed on a single father for bringing a fab fb over? Lads it's 2019, we're entering into a more sex positive world, ultimately OP you do what you want to do as long as it doesn't effect the child why does it matter to so many people. Walk a a day in another person's shoes before casting judgement folks
Well as a single parent I gave my opinion and if I was a parent of small kid again I would have the same attitude I had when my son was growing up, no random men in our home. And I only dated once when he was 5 for a few months and it took a while before I trusted the guy enough to have him stay over but each to their own.
The OP never mentioned random though that's just an assumption that was presumed.
Yes each to their own exactly but I don't believe the OP meant just bringing randomer she'd never met back
No she didn't , she said she trusted him in her original post. And I apologized in an earlier post for missing that. But as a single mum we are still judged by men even on here it happens. All in well saying it's a modern society but I have seen first hand how guys can judge just because they think u sleep around. "I suppose not having kids of my own does make me see things differently | |||
| |||
"I have a question and would love members answers. I am a single mom with 3 kids. I have them full time and don't have any breaks. Can't get a babysitter.not from lack of trying. So I was wondering would members or if there any members in the same boat as me. Do you think it's ok to arrange a meet at home. Even though kids are upstairs asleep. I am just wondering it would only be people I know and met before and even trust . My oldest would be asleep every night well out of the count by 10pm as he goes to bed at 8.30 on school nights and at 9 weekends. Is it wrong or should I go for it. Been asked a lot lately to meet and again today but not sure should I and would others be willing to meet me especially knowing kids are upstairs asleep." If youve met the person before then yes go for it but not a random stranger no | |||
| |||
"I didn't think that there was any judgement passed to OP, only thing that I found quite disturbing in a way was how the men were portrayed in them responses. In some other forum threads females were asking why a man wouldn't consider a relationship with a fab woman. It kinda goes both ways in this case - why a fab man isn't being considered as a wise, mature human being capable to be considerate and respectful and inviting him into ones home or even saying a friendly hello if ever bumped into him down the street is such a taboo. Single men on here (obviously apart from the cringy, annoying lot who nobody meets anyway) get treated like shit on a shoe. "I don't want to know you, just fuck and leave" which is a nice concept for some and a lot of them prefer it to be that way, but bottom line - they're human beings too and a little courtesy towards their own feelings would go a long way. There's me rambling again fs " | |||
| |||
"Sorry but no I don't think it's okay to bring a person whom you know very little about into your home with your children there. As a single parent I never had a guy in my home while my child slept. But each to their in but put it this way if the kids father (whether in involved or not I didn't not know) but if he had them on overnight and he had some random woman over how would you feel? I know it can be hard to get a babysitter etc have you a friend that would stay over and mind them? Plenty of guys look for day meets too. Hope you get some fun sorted. It's tough raising kids alone." Totally agree. I am also single mum but working full time so only meets after work or sometimes on the weekends. I wish you best of luck my dear | |||
agree with you  | |||
| |||
"As someone previously said... Its your safe place and your kids home. I wouldn't bring a meet there. In fact even as someone who doesn't have kids, or any of your concerns, I made a decision a while back not to accomm anymore for anyone other than my long term fwb, because someone abused that privilege and told others where I lived and what my home was like. I know it's not easy OP, and I do feel for people in your situation, but I heartily commend you on putting your kids first. As someone suggested... Save up for a sitter, or maybe try to arrange a sleepover for your kids with friends one night. Maybe even find another swinging mum who you can alternate babysitting favours with and help each other out "Lady.. Absolutely Brilliant ...you nailed it all in the one go there..great reply....not a hope would l even consider bringing anyone into a house where kids reside...thats a line that l would never cross..a huge no no for me ... | |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
| |||
