FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Regular Playmate
Regular Playmate
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"well there is a lady up your neck of the woods looking for the same thing . I thought you would have seen her . " Names names sar | |||
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"It's actually unreal hard. To find someone you click with and live close by would be ideal. " Agreed, for whatever reason my best "friends" on here have pretty much been from outside the pale.... Then again, you can get too much of a good thing... | |||
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"It's actually unreal hard. To find someone you click with and live close by would be ideal. " Or you might be outside their age range  | |||
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"At this point, I'd even be delighted to have a lovely pillow princess. " | |||
"At this point, I'd even be delighted to have a lovely pillow princess.
"Well if you're offering. | |||
"Yep still looking too "Let's find steph a Sligo Stud | |||
"At this point, I'd even be delighted to have a lovely pillow princess.
Well if you're offering. "Is there a crown | |||
"Yep still looking too
Let's find steph a Sligo Stud "Good luck with that might want to widen the search | |||
"Yep still looking too
Let's find steph a Sligo Stud
Good luck with that might want to widen the search "And myself a Donegal Damsel | |||
"At this point, I'd even be delighted to have a lovely pillow princess.
Well if you're offering.
Is there a crown "Of course, and a good throne as well. | |||
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"And myself a Donegal Damsel " Cough cough | |||
"Yup. Near impossible..." Impossible to replace, we should forget ages as that will open up bigger avenue, that we can both play in and could still enjoy platonic ourselves  | |||
"Yup. Near impossible...Impossible to replace, we should forget ages as that will open up bigger avenue, that we can both play in and could still enjoy platonic ourselves "Basically forget our preferences and standards and just become regular with anyone that comes along. No thanks, I'm horny, not desperate  | |||
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"Yup. Near impossible...Impossible to replace, we should forget ages as that will open up bigger avenue, that we can both play in and could still enjoy platonic ourselves
Basically forget our preferences and standards and just become regular with anyone that comes along.
No thanks, I'm horny, not desperate " | |||
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 But both of them became my FWB gradually, without either of us really noticing. I'm with my current FWB almost 3 years now (next month is our bangiversary lol) and tbh we're both still as wild about each other as we were when we first met. He still thinks my Scooby Doo impression is woeful and I still think he drives like a lunatic, but what we have works perfectly, and if it doesn't fizzle out in the next few years, we'll probably end up visiting each other's nursing homes and one of us having to be untied by orderlies after the other has fallen off the bed and broken a hip
As I said before... It'll just happen when you least expect it. You'll meet someone once, then again, and again.... They'll become your friend... With benefits | |||
"I wonder is actively looking for a regular playmate/fwb part of the problem? Could it be that someone considering meeting a man or woman who is actively looking for an FWB might feel pressured. If you're meeting someone for the first time and just getting to know them, should it not just be relaxed and see how it goes, without expectation? And from the other perspective, if you're actively looking for your perfect FWB, and you meet someone but find that they aren't what you're looking for in an FWB, won't they feel annoyed or misled? I know it's easy for me to say these things. I've been incredibly lucky and I know that. I've had 2 wonderful fwbs over the years who have made me smile, laugh, and orgasm more times than I can say But both of them became my FWB gradually, without either of us really noticing. I'm with my current FWB almost 3 years now (next month is our bangiversary lol) and tbh we're both still as wild about each other as we were when we first met. He still thinks my Scooby Doo impression is woeful and I still think he drives like a lunatic, but what we have works perfectly, and if it doesn't fizzle out in the next few years, we'll probably end up visiting each other's nursing homes and one of us having to be untied by orderlies after the other has fallen off the bed and broken a hip
As I said before... It'll just happen when you least expect it. You'll meet someone once, then again, and again.... They'll become your friend... With benefits "You’re totally right! | |||
"I wonder is actively looking for a regular playmate/fwb part of the problem? Could it be that someone considering meeting a man or woman who is actively looking for an FWB might feel pressured. If you're meeting someone for the first time and just getting to know them, should it not just be relaxed and see how it goes, without expectation? And from the other perspective, if you're actively looking for your perfect FWB, and you meet someone but find that they aren't what you're looking for in an FWB, won't they feel annoyed or misled? I know it's easy for me to say these things. I've been incredibly lucky and I know that. I've had 2 wonderful fwbs over the years who have made me smile, laugh, and orgasm more times than I can say But both of them became my FWB gradually, without either of us really noticing. I'm with my current FWB almost 3 years now (next month is our bangiversary lol) and tbh we're both still as wild about each other as we were when we first met. He still thinks my Scooby Doo impression is woeful and I still think he drives like a lunatic, but what we have works perfectly, and if it doesn't fizzle out in the next few years, we'll probably end up visiting each other's nursing homes and one of us having to be untied by orderlies after the other has fallen off the bed and broken a hip
As I said before... It'll just happen when you least expect it. You'll meet someone once, then again, and again.... They'll become your friend... With benefits
You’re totally right! " | |||
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"So the secret is to not look for a fwb ffs. "I think you need to be active to find one, but anything can happen at any time! | |||
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"I have wondered though if having, looking for a regular Feb puts many off even messaging at times. Then again if I see someones profile and they have 2or 3 new meets every week I know they're not interested in a regular so don't bother even if they look interesting and may like their profile. What's in you're profile does effect consideration." I'm looking for a FWB but what do you call regular with the hours I work would probably be twice a month at most and that's been proactive at meeting up. Think interest wains than. | |||
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"It seems to be a very slow burner here, got a couple of socials in the last week so headed the right direction. Distance not an issue for me but it would be nice to find someone I connect with close by. Think the sheer volumes make it hard for the guys to get a conversation going to begin with and to keep it going and hard for the ladies to filter through to guys that interests them. You just got to be patient and hope you get there in the end " Slow burner isn't bad though. I've got a meet planned but no date arranged as yet due to distance and also work commitments. Shell be worth restraining though and hopefully repeat meets will be bit easier than arranging the first meet. | |||
"Impossible for us guys that’s for sure . You think I’ve found someone , have great sex, planning to go again and the glowing veri they get smothers them with thousands of offers and you become yesterdays man. Onwards and upwards" This does happen too. | |||
" I know a few here its happened too hang in there everyone "Send them my way please | |||
" I know a few here its happened too hang in there everyone
Send them my way please "And send someone my way too please | |||
"Impossible for us guys that’s for sure . You think I’ve found someone , have great sex, planning to go again and the glowing veri they get smothers them with thousands of offers and you become yesterdays man. Onwards and upwards This does happen too. "I think this happens for both men and women. | |||
"Yup. Near impossible...Impossible to replace, we should forget ages as that will open up bigger avenue, that we can both play in and could still enjoy platonic ourselves
Basically forget our preferences and standards and just become regular with anyone that comes along.
No thanks, I'm horny, not desperate "no keep standards at all times , but play with people who enjoy your likes? | |||
"So the secret is to not look for a fwb ffs. "I have noticed that actively stating on your profile that you're looking for an FWB attracts the wrong type more than it does the right. I had it on mine briefly when myself and Games took a break the year before last. While there were a few genuinely decent guys who mailed me, the rest were opportunists. Guys who just want to use someone to get their foot in the door of the party scene and once they get that intro, they're off and running like a kid in a sweet shop lol, and fantasists who think once they 'have' one female, it'll make it easier to get another one for that FFM they've always dreamed of, regardless of what you want. People lie to get what they want all the time. It was an eye-opening experience and thankfully I was old enough, wise enough and experienced enough to know what they were doing and not to waste my time on them. But for those who do find it happening over and over, it must be completely demoralising. I'm not sure if there's an equivalent for men, maybe someone else can shed some light on that, but women actively looking for something regular do often get targeted in this way. | |||
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"I would consider it a good day if someone looked at a message I’ve sent "I read it, twice | |||
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"The thing is to not become emotionally involved with them and that’s a very fine line. I’ve had three very good FwB but eventually it’s crossed the line for one of us. I’d much prefer a play partner than a FwB any day. " I don't see anything wrong with becoming emotionally involved as long as you both know what you want. It's only a problem if one person wants something more and the other doesn't. But isn't that the case with everything?? I'd much rather spend time with someone who really likes me and cares for me (and vice versa), than someone who just viewed me as a booty call. I think we're all adults and should be able to handle adult situations. Tbh I've experienced more ill behaviour, jealousy and possessiveness from guys I'd only met once or twice than I ever have with a long-term friend, which is absolutely ridiculous | |||
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"So the secret is to not look for a fwb ffs.
I have noticed that actively stating on your profile that you're looking for an FWB attracts the wrong type more than it does the right. I had it on mine briefly when myself and Games took a break the year before last. While there were a few genuinely decent guys who mailed me, the rest were opportunists. Guys who just want to use someone to get their foot in the door of the party scene and once they get that intro, they're off and running like a kid in a sweet shop lol, and fantasists who think once they 'have' one female, it'll make it easier to get another one for that FFM they've always dreamed of, regardless of what you want. People lie to get what they want all the time. It was an eye-opening experience and thankfully I was old enough, wise enough and experienced enough to know what they were doing and not to waste my time on them. But for those who do find it happening over and over, it must be completely demoralising. I'm not sure if there's an equivalent for men, maybe someone else can shed some light on that, but women actively looking for something regular do often get targeted in this way."Better put than if I'd tried. | |||
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"Yup. Near impossible...Impossible to replace, we should forget ages as that will open up bigger avenue, that we can both play in and could still enjoy platonic ourselves
Basically forget our preferences and standards and just become regular with anyone that comes along.
No thanks, I'm horny, not desperate "You missed a connection and I'll never move to the northern neck of the woods because I'd really struggle as I haven't a fookin clue what you people are saying most of the time | |||
"I fully agree what playD8 said above, actively looking for a fb/fwb can be counterproductive. Beside personality, looks, chemistry and whatever else is on the requirements list you also have to click in the bedroom. The only way to find out the latter is to have sex. So and if the sex isn't what you're looking for, you wouldn't go back and repeat. Simples, no point in having to high expectations straight from the beginning. It either happens or it doesn't. At least that's my opinion. " Honest and straight to the point, well said | |||
"You'd think that finding a regular playmate, fck buddy or friends with benefits would be easy enough on here but it sounds like everyone is struggling ? If that's what you after join the post and sweet if we can pair each other up. #CillaBlack ??" Practically impossible | |||
"You'd think that finding a regular playmate, fck buddy or friends with benefits would be easy enough on here but it sounds like everyone is struggling ? If that's what you after join the post and sweet if we can pair each other up. #CillaBlack ?? Practically impossible" Has to be worth a go ffs lol. So anyone want me occasionally , regularly, now and then , when mutually acceptable, ???? | |||
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"I never taught it would be this hard to find.. " wexford just my luck  | |||
"I never taught it would be this hard to find.. wexford just my luck "I'll just move so | |||
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"I never taught it would be this hard to find.. wexford just my luck
I'll just move so "I knew things would work out in the end, it's written in the stars | |||
"I never taught it would be this hard to find.. wexford just my luck
I'll just move so I knew things would work out in the end, it's written in the stars "Well if it's in the stars there's no going back | |||
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"The idea of one regular dude is cool.. but have you seen how many hot guys there are out there "and girls | |||
"The idea of one regular dude is cool.. but have you seen how many hot guys there are out there "Yup, I have, but a different meet (or more) every week doesn't appeal to me. To have sex even just once a week, I'd have to meet 52 men each year, and that's just the ones I'd have sex with, there would also be the ones I'd have ruled out after meeting them for coffee, so being very generous and saying that I'd sleep with half of the men I met, that's 104 men each year to chat to, make plans with, and juggle around my real world commitments for. Just to have sex once a week. | |||
"The idea of one regular dude is cool.. but have you seen how many hot guys there are out there
Yup, I have, but a different meet (or more) every week doesn't appeal to me. To have sex even just once a week, I'd have to meet 52 men each year, and that's just the ones I'd have sex with, there would also be the ones I'd have ruled out after meeting them for coffee, so being very generous and saying that I'd sleep with half of the men I met, that's 104 men each year to chat to, make plans with, and juggle around my real world commitments for. Just to have sex once a week. "good maths head on you there, if your enjoying the site and life in general does figures really matter? You only live once why stop doing something you enjoy just because it looks bad or wat other people think | |||
"The idea of one regular dude is cool.. but have you seen how many hot guys there are out there
Yup, I have, but a different meet (or more) every week doesn't appeal to me. To have sex even just once a week, I'd have to meet 52 men each year, and that's just the ones I'd have sex with, there would also be the ones I'd have ruled out after meeting them for coffee, so being very generous and saying that I'd sleep with half of the men I met, that's 104 men each year to chat to, make plans with, and juggle around my real world commitments for. Just to have sex once a week.
good maths head on you there, if your enjoying the site and life in general does figures really matter? You only live once why stop doing something you enjoy just because it looks bad or wat other people think "Who said it looks bad or that I'd worry what anyone thought? I just said it wasn't practical
But having said that, I am doing what I enjoy, I don't want or need to meet 104 men every year, I've one pretty great one who ticks all my boxes, shares all my kinks and doesn't throw a fit if I occasionally do want to meet someone else how bad is that?  | |||
"The idea of one regular dude is cool.. but have you seen how many hot guys there are out there
Yup, I have, but a different meet (or more) every week doesn't appeal to me. To have sex even just once a week, I'd have to meet 52 men each year, and that's just the ones I'd have sex with, there would also be the ones I'd have ruled out after meeting them for coffee, so being very generous and saying that I'd sleep with half of the men I met, that's 104 men each year to chat to, make plans with, and juggle around my real world commitments for. Just to have sex once a week.
good maths head on you there, if your enjoying the site and life in general does figures really matter? You only live once why stop doing something you enjoy just because it looks bad or wat other people think
Who said it looks bad or that I'd worry what anyone thought? I just said it wasn't practical
But having said that, I am doing what I enjoy, I don't want or need to meet 104 men every year, I've one pretty great one who ticks all my boxes, shares all my kinks and doesn't throw a fit if I occasionally do want to meet someone else how bad is that? "why would anyone take a fit if you met someone? If your single can you not meet whoever you like? I do pretty well I like fab and love meeting new people, in fact iv a few meets on this week with a few pretty lady's which I'm looking forward to, some people can be clingy tho you can't be too careful either but others will just turn a blind eye and get there hole which is a bit sad unfortunately while knowing this then there's others who wish it was something more and gets ugly, I prefare to meet new people but I do also meet one or 2 previous meets for sex but im a dirty fucker so its likeminded sexy ladies, it's a great place for a horny guy I must admit you seem to know wat you want from it too so good luck | |||
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"Interesting thread with a lot of different opinions but it seems mostly everyone is still struggling to find that regular play mate, we all live in hope and occasionally it happens but I think it’s just luck. " I suppose Fermanagh isn't a million miles away.... How you doing? | |||
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"I'd be happy with once a month with my work schedule once it was an over night lol" | |||
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"You'd think that finding a regular playmate, fck buddy or friends with benefits would be easy enough on here but it sounds like everyone is struggling ? If that's what you after join the post and sweet if we can pair each other up. #CillaBlack ??" yea true you click all the boxes on the profile and send a message with no reply, altho i do realise the ladys are hounded with messages | |||
"Whats everyones definition of “regular” though..? Weekly? Monthly? Quarterly? Whenever our calendars sync up? That can be a problem when both want regular but each persons definition is very different..." Very true. My definition of regular, factoring in my urges, once being married and a desire to get to know the other person as sex improves with meets, exploring others interests etc etc it would ideally be a couple times a week. That's ideal and we rarely find that, regular for me needs to be someone looking 2 to 3 times a month. | |||
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"The idea of one regular dude is cool.. but have you seen how many hot guys there are out there
Yup, I have, but a different meet (or more) every week doesn't appeal to me. To have sex even just once a week, I'd have to meet 52 men each year, and that's just the ones I'd have sex with, there would also be the ones I'd have ruled out after meeting them for coffee, so being very generous and saying that I'd sleep with half of the men I met, that's 104 men each year to chat to, make plans with, and juggle around my real world commitments for. Just to have sex once a week.
good maths head on you there, if your enjoying the site and life in general does figures really matter? You only live once why stop doing something you enjoy just because it looks bad or wat other people think
Who said it looks bad or that I'd worry what anyone thought? I just said it wasn't practical
But having said that, I am doing what I enjoy, I don't want or need to meet 104 men every year, I've one pretty great one who ticks all my boxes, shares all my kinks and doesn't throw a fit if I occasionally do want to meet someone else how bad is that?
why would anyone take a fit if you met someone? If your single can you not meet whoever you like? I do pretty well I like fab and love meeting new people, in fact iv a few meets on this week with a few pretty lady's which I'm looking forward to, some people can be clingy tho you can't be too careful either but others will just turn a blind eye and get there hole which is a bit sad unfortunately while knowing this then there's others who wish it was something more and gets ugly, I prefare to meet new people but I do also meet one or 2 previous meets for sex but im a dirty fucker so its likeminded sexy ladies, it's a great place for a horny guy I must admit you seem to know wat you want from it too so good luck "Long-term friends don't tend to throw a fit, they're pretty secure. But I've had one-off meets and guys I've met 2 or 3 times freak out because I met someone else or continued to meet someone else, and I've also had to put up with jealousy from other people they themselves have met previously. I'm not just talking about throwing the dummy out of the pram with a few irate texts, I've had someone go the revenge porn route (using photos and vids of someone else), I've had a Dom who threatened to self-harm, I've had a d*unk local woman hurl abuse at me on multiple occasions in chat for daring to even speak to anyone she perceives as her property, and you wouldn't believe the amount of women I've had mail me over the years to let me know who they are meeting so I don't try to 'steal them away'. There are people on this thread ffs who I have met and had hassle afterwards from their other meets because of it, and others who have mailed me to warn me off someone they fancied/were meeting. I'm glad you're making the most of your opportunities, but even you mention that you have to be careful with some of your clingy meets. Jealous/possessive behaviour is rampant on swinging sites, so yes, I'm bloody thrilled to have a gorgeous, great, chilled guy who doesn't try to control me and doesn't monitor my every move and conversation, who is secure in himself and our friendship... Long may it last!! | |||
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"I used to have a regular FB. And in between meets I carried on on fab and despite her saying it wasn’t exclusive, it became apparent she got increasingly jealous. To the point where she had multiple profiles where she would start chatting to me , pretending to be someone else to try to “catch me out @. She used to ask me about herself on her real profile . I kept catching her out by her grammar and even repeating something only me and her knew about . Eventually she left fab because she couldn’t have me all to herself ( ya can’t blame her really - I mean - just look at me lol !!!)" I couldn’t help myself I had to have a look..... have to say that lady would scare the ........ out of me, must have been quite a nightmare for you | |||
"I fully agree what playD8 said above, actively looking for a fb/fwb can be counterproductive. Beside personality, looks, chemistry and whatever else is on the requirements list you also have to click in the bedroom. The only way to find out the latter is to have sex. So and if the sex isn't what you're looking for, you wouldn't go back and repeat. Simples, no point in having to high expectations straight from the beginning. It either happens or it doesn't. At least that's my opinion. " Exactly! | |||
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"I used to have a regular FB. And in between meets I carried on on fab and despite her saying it wasn’t exclusive, it became apparent she got increasingly jealous. To the point where she had multiple profiles where she would start chatting to me , pretending to be someone else to try to “catch me out @. She used to ask me about herself on her real profile . I kept catching her out by her grammar and even repeating something only me and her knew about . Eventually she left fab because she couldn’t have me all to herself ( ya can’t blame her really - I mean - just look at me lol !!!)" Exactly the same happened to me when I wanted to end it with a fb of 3+ years. He kept opening profiles and contacting me. | |||
