FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > To cum or not to cum it's De question.
To cum or not to cum it's De question.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is based on Guys.
Not about female Cummings.that will be a different post.
Where I am coming from on this. I was reading the Dear Deirdre In the Sun. And the common theme is the wife/Gf feeling rejected because her husband or Bf didn't cum. Some it more also got to do with also cathing them wanking to porn.
What causes guys not to cum if it's nothing to do with a medical condition. Like ye can come the first time but second time nothing.
Also ladies does it make ye feel unwanted.
I dont see it that way at all.
There's more to life than Cum. |
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By *addy0Man
over a year ago
carlow town |
Personally depends on situation I think...
Some days I could come in less than a minute and other days could go for ages..
Alcohol obviously slows the whole process but not always either..
I know wen I slip in from the side wen bothnof is are lying side on iuts game over in 30 seconds with or without alchol  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally depends on situation I think...
Some days I could come in less than a minute and other days could go for ages..
Alcohol obviously slows the whole process but not always either..
I know wen I slip in from the side wen bothnof is are lying side on iuts game over in 30 seconds with or without alchol "
Thank you for replying. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Blame it on porn sure. Nothing to do with not turning their guy on properly. I, like many other men, can cum again given a realistic time frame and stimulus. As i am sure women could as well. If they feel rejected, tough. The guy probably had to go for a wank afterward to finish himself off. How do you think he felt? Who cares though? Certainly not their women. They're too busy blaming porn, feeling rejected or writing to Dear Deirdre. Instead they should maybe try a little harder to understand what will make their man cum. It's simple communication. Talk to their man. Find shit out. Find out how to finish him off properly. I hope this helps. Truly, because those guys probably feel their women are a tad selfish in bed. Just my thoughts |
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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
"Personally depends on situation I think...
Some days I could come in less than a minute and other days could go for ages..
Alcohol obviously slows the whole process but not always either..
I know wen I slip in from the side wen bothnof is are lying side on iuts game over in 30 seconds with or without alchol "
Ill keep that in mind Paww  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Blame it on porn sure. Nothing to do with not turning their guy on properly. I, like many other men, can cum again given a realistic time frame and stimulus. As i am sure women could as well. If they feel rejected, tough. The guy probably had to go for a wank afterward to finish himself off. How do you think he felt? Who cares though? Certainly not their women. They're too busy blaming porn, feeling rejected or writing to Dear Deirdre. Instead they should maybe try a little harder to understand what will make their man cum. It's simple communication. Talk to their man. Find shit out. Find out how to finish him off properly. I hope this helps. Truly, because those guys probably feel their women are a tad selfish in bed. Just my thoughts"
Cheers.
Yes I totally agree with you there. Communication skills is the key. But as some people find out,they lack it and then cause issue like this and other stuff.
But ok you came with the fact that The wife or girlfriend isn't pleasing him. If he not communicating it,How she is meant to know. Hence why I say,that she feels rejected.
Like I don't always come with sex. And I will say no it didn't happen, try this way.
But I also know that if I have a lot on my mind and he can be absolutely brilliant.but nope i wont be near to orgasim.
Does that happened for men also. If you just aren't there mentally.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Blame it on porn sure. Nothing to do with not turning their guy on properly. I, like many other men, can cum again given a realistic time frame and stimulus. As i am sure women could as well. If they feel rejected, tough. The guy probably had to go for a wank afterward to finish himself off. How do you think he felt? Who cares though? Certainly not their women. They're too busy blaming porn, feeling rejected or writing to Dear Deirdre. Instead they should maybe try a little harder to understand what will make their man cum. It's simple communication. Talk to their man. Find shit out. Find out how to finish him off properly. I hope this helps. Truly, because those guys probably feel their women are a tad selfish in bed. Just my thoughts"
Cheers.
Yes I totally agree with you there. Communication skills is the key. But as some people find out,they lack it and then cause issue like this and other stuff.
But ok you came with the fact that The wife or girlfriend isn't pleasing him. If he not communicating it,How she is meant to know. Hence why I say,that she feels rejected.
Like I don't always come with sex. And I will say no it didn't happen, try this way.
But I also know that if I have a lot on my mind and he can be absolutely brilliant.but nope i wont be near to orgasim.
Does that happened for men also. If you just aren't there mentally.
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By *addy0Man
over a year ago
carlow town |
"Personally depends on situation I think...
Some days I could come in less than a minute and other days could go for ages..
Alcohol obviously slows the whole process but not always either..
I know wen I slip in from the side wen bothnof is are lying side on iuts game over in 30 seconds with or without alchol
Ill keep that in mind Paww "
Don't put me on my side lolly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blame it on porn sure. Nothing to do with not turning their guy on properly. I, like many other men, can cum again given a realistic time frame and stimulus. As i am sure women could as well. If they feel rejected, tough. The guy probably had to go for a wank afterward to finish himself off. How do you think he felt? Who cares though? Certainly not their women. They're too busy blaming porn, feeling rejected or writing to Dear Deirdre. Instead they should maybe try a little harder to understand what will make their man cum. It's simple communication. Talk to their man. Find shit out. Find out how to finish him off properly. I hope this helps. Truly, because those guys probably feel their women are a tad selfish in bed. Just my thoughts
Cheers.
Yes I totally agree with you there. Communication skills is the key. But as some people find out,they lack it and then cause issue like this and other stuff.
But ok you came with the fact that The wife or girlfriend isn't pleasing him. If he not communicating it,How she is meant to know. Hence why I say,that she feels rejected.
Like I don't always come with sex. And I will say no it didn't happen, try this way.
But I also know that if I have a lot on my mind and he can be absolutely brilliant.but nope i wont be near to orgasim.
Does that happened for men also. If you just aren't there mentally.
"
Ha ha. Yes i agree..but 
It's communication. Do you realise that its harder to tell the truth to a woman, than for a woman a man. Guy see it as it is. Oh ok, cool i'll try an extra finger next time love or lick or touch you this way. Roger that.
A guy tells a woman and holy fuck! That's like saying, yes love your ass does look fat in those jeans..if they felt rejected before, they'll be crushed after a guy pipes up a bit of clarity. She'll say ok but deep down, she'll feel criticised. Then one day 5 months later, she'll bring it up in an arguement and call him a cunt for saying anything. |
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By *s LollyWoman
over a year ago
The pub then supermacs ... |
"Personally depends on situation I think...
Some days I could come in less than a minute and other days could go for ages..
Alcohol obviously slows the whole process but not always either..
I know wen I slip in from the side wen bothnof is are lying side on iuts game over in 30 seconds with or without alchol
Ill keep that in mind Paww
Don't put me on my side lolly "
On your back so  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never really a problem for me op, none the less I have to be attracted to the other party.. I just can't shag anything for the sake of it..sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never really a problem for me op, none the less I have to be attracted to the other party.. I just can't shag anything for the sake of it..sometimes I wonder what the hell I'm doing here "
So I guess attraction and the misses is very attractive |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't always cum during sex, and sometimes I can't cum while masterbating ...
It happens ! "
And has it ever caused a negative response from a female. |
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It's like a sign of success to some people. If you don't make someone come then the other person might feel like they did something wrong or maybe they aren't good enough etc etc.
As we all know many people can't finish for different reasons. And that's best communicated during sex if its not going to happen. No reason to feel dejected if maybe he's stressed or on meds or whatever. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's like a sign of success to some people. If you don't make someone come then the other person might feel like they did something wrong or maybe they aren't good enough etc etc.
As we all know many people can't finish for different reasons. And that's best communicated during sex if its not going to happen. No reason to feel dejected if maybe he's stressed or on meds or whatever. "
Your profile pic is medication in its self.... Where can you get your hands on that?...i mean medication |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Blame it on porn sure. Nothing to do with not turning their guy on properly. I, like many other men, can cum again given a realistic time frame and stimulus. As i am sure women could as well. If they feel rejected, tough. The guy probably had to go for a wank afterward to finish himself off. How do you think he felt? Who cares though? Certainly not their women. They're too busy blaming porn, feeling rejected or writing to Dear Deirdre. Instead they should maybe try a little harder to understand what will make their man cum. It's simple communication. Talk to their man. Find shit out. Find out how to finish him off properly. I hope this helps. Truly, because those guys probably feel their women are a tad selfish in bed. Just my thoughts
Cheers.
Yes I totally agree with you there. Communication skills is the key. But as some people find out,they lack it and then cause issue like this and other stuff.
But ok you came with the fact that The wife or girlfriend isn't pleasing him. If he not communicating it,How she is meant to know. Hence why I say,that she feels rejected.
Like I don't always come with sex. And I will say no it didn't happen, try this way.
But I also know that if I have a lot on my mind and he can be absolutely brilliant.but nope i wont be near to orgasim.
Does that happened for men also. If you just aren't there mentally.
Ha ha. Yes i agree..but
It's communication. Do you realise that its harder to tell the truth to a woman, than for a woman a man. Guy see it as it is. Oh ok, cool i'll try an extra finger next time love or lick or touch you this way. Roger that.
A guy tells a woman and holy fuck! That's like saying, yes love your ass does look fat in those jeans..if they felt rejected before, they'll be crushed after a guy pipes up a bit of clarity. She'll say ok but deep down, she'll feel criticised. Then one day 5 months later, she'll bring it up in an arguement and call him a cunt for saying anything. "
I can't say that ain't far from the truth. And I do feel it for you men. As it does seem Impossible for ye guys,ye are damn if you do and damned if you don't.
As for myself over time and learning new things about what I can and can't handle,I e learnt that you can't take everything as a personal attacked but yo reflect and learn a lesson.because Someone gave a opinion or spoke up about something.I kinda blame the whole Hollywood,Mills and blooms book sold for women telling then that men should behave this way if they love you. When we all know that not every guy or woman is the same or thinks or acts the same,maybe in a few things.
Hence why we have the majority of men and women who have been hurt and think to tar all with the same brush.
I went off point.ranto over |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It's like a sign of success to some people. If you don't make someone come then the other person might feel like they did something wrong or maybe they aren't good enough etc etc.
As we all know many people can't finish for different reasons. And that's best communicated during sex if its not going to happen. No reason to feel dejected if maybe he's stressed or on meds or whatever. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can't always cum during sex, and sometimes I can't cum while masterbating ...
It happens !
And has it ever caused a negative response from a female."
Yes sometimes my o.h does feel it's because of her, but it's not. Usually something just pops into my head , about the kids, or work and that's that's then ! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't always cum during sex, and sometimes I can't cum while masterbating ...
It happens !
And has it ever caused a negative response from a female.
Yes sometimes my o.h does feel it's because of her, but it's not. Usually something just pops into my head , about the kids, or work and that's that's then ! "
Thank you for your honesty.
As I wanted to hear from the guys point. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"God I hope none of the guys I've been with felt rejected because I didn't cum. I'm sure they got over it though lol"
Have you ever been with a bloke that hasn't been able to cum. And how did it make you feel. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"God I hope none of the guys I've been with felt rejected because I didn't cum. I'm sure they got over it though lol
Have you ever been with a bloke that hasn't been able to cum. And how did it make you feel."
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"For me sometimes I think about it briefly, just sets a goal for the next time to mix it up "
Ok. Are you on about the female orasgism. Or about yourself cuming or not been able to cum. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Female orgasm "
Ah ok Thank you.
So it's just a brief taught for you,you don't get hung up on it.
But have you been in a situation where you couldn't cum.and did you get a negative response from a female.
As someone above said that for some guys and girls it's a score keeper like they feel that they done their job. But I know that it is not always the case. As I don't always come from sex or lick of the pussy and that is usually because Im in my head. And the guy can be doing all sorts of things still don't make it happen. Some understand,others get real thick and go in a huff. Same were women think that they are no good and feel rejected |
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It can stem from being tired not turned on enough and if you have not had sex in ages that can stop you. There is lots of things it could also be stress worrying over problems in life . Then not coming makes you worse . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It can stem from being tired not turned on enough and if you have not had sex in ages that can stop you. There is lots of things it could also be stress worrying over problems in life . Then not coming makes you worse . "
Thanks very much for getting back and for your honesty.
As I can imagine that it is hard on you guys when you can't cum.
I understand that and I don't feel rejected if it happens. As there is other ways of been intimate.
but just I couldn't get over the fact that how it is a big deal to some women and men.
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
It only is an issue when one side makes a big deal about it. It can happen for many reasons.
I find it quite pathetic if a woman feels rejected if there's no climax on his side. Seems to me a problem of low self-confidence on her side and an outdated stance on sex in a relationship.
Sex isn't only about having an orgasm. If you're in tune with the person you're having sex with you know if they enjoyed themselves, a cum score isn't needed.
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By *orny guy !Man
over a year ago
waterford / tipperary |
"I can't always cum during sex, and sometimes I can't cum while masterbating ...
It happens !
And has it ever caused a negative response from a female."
Same here. Sometimes could just go on & on without cumming. But makes sure the woman is satisfied. It caused a bit of but i didn’t make you cum , why ... but we sorted it & doesn’t cause a moment anymore if it happens.
Some women who don’t orgasm at times say they feel pleased in other ways. Guys can feel the same I’m sure going on personal experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Simple fact is that the Willy has a bloody mind of its own and does whatever it wants.
One day it will stay up all day others it will shoot you before you can build up speed.
But it's really just when I wank am just pleasing me so I can go as fast slow as I like.
But when you are trying to please someone, you have the worry of Cumming to soon or not at all.
My last meet I could not cum at all . She came and enjoyed herself. But a quick wank at home later no problems.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can't always cum during sex, and sometimes I can't cum while masterbating ...
It happens !
And has it ever caused a negative response from a female.
Same here. Sometimes could just go on & on without cumming. But makes sure the woman is satisfied. It caused a bit of but i didn’t make you cum , why ... but we sorted it & doesn’t cause a moment anymore if it happens.
Some women who don’t orgasm at times say they feel pleased in other ways. Guys can feel the same I’m sure going on personal experience. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It only is an issue when one side makes a big deal about it. It can happen for many reasons.
I find it quite pathetic if a woman feels rejected if there's no climax on his side. Seems to me a problem of low self-confidence on her side and an outdated stance on sex in a relationship.
Sex isn't only about having an orgasm. If you're in tune with the person you're having sex with you know if they enjoyed themselves, a cum score isn't needed.
"
.
Very true |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Simple fact is that the Willy has a bloody mind of its own and does whatever it wants.
One day it will stay up all day others it will shoot you before you can build up speed.
But it's really just when I wank am just pleasing me so I can go as fast slow as I like.
But when you are trying to please someone, you have the worry of Cumming to soon or not at all.
My last meet I could not cum at all . She came and enjoyed herself. But a quick wank at home later no problems.
"
thank you |
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