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3 Terrible Words to hear on Xmas Eve..

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Some assembly required

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some assembly required "

Oh pass it here I am bored to tears and a flat pack expert

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By *sa_curiousMan  over a year ago

Waterford

Batteries not included

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Hi, we're here!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some assembly required

Oh pass it here I am bored to tears and a flat pack expert"

How are you with Turkey?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Some assembly required

Oh pass it here I am bored to tears and a flat pack expert

How are you with Turkey?"

Shit

I can't cook

I'm not perfect

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The ovens broken!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The ovens broken!"

Disaster!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Ready for Mass

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Black Forest cake (it’s my birthday and I hate cream)

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

There's parts missing

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

OFF LICENCE CLOSED!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Are you free?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Are you free? "

Lot of them today

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Feed the World

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Forgot the gravy

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By *eankaren88Couple  over a year ago

By the sea

sprouts are ready.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Mrs Browns Boys

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Mrs Browns Boys"

Worst horror of all

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Lets get married

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Lets get married "

Oh that really is worst horror of all

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/12/18 19:42:54]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"The ovens broken!

Disaster!!!"

And it happened one year halfway through cooking the turkey. We all remember that one!

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By *ohng69Man  over a year ago

athenry

The tv's broken. I got a panic call last night from a friend looking for a spare tv as hers was broken, and her teenage son was distraught at not being able to watch Xmas movies.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Half price sale

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By *eductively_SweetWoman  over a year ago

wexford


"Some assembly required

Oh pass it here I am bored to tears and a flat pack expert

How are you with Turkey?

Shit

I can't cook

I'm not perfect "

I'll cook for you

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By *eductively_SweetWoman  over a year ago

wexford


"Lets get married "

Christ no that's a nightmare

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By *acey_smWoman  over a year ago

westmeath

Last orders please

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Lets get married

Christ no that's a nightmare"

I'd marry you tho

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/12/18 20:44:05]

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Brought a friend

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

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By *DSGCouple  over a year ago

That place in

Santa doesn't exist

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment "

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out "

I don't play with myself

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By *j47Man  over a year ago

limerick

Bird needs stuffing (and she hands u a pair of gloves hold theses legs open "turkey legs )

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By *j47Man  over a year ago

limerick


"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

I don't play with myself "

Liar

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Bird needs stuffing (and she hands u a pair of gloves hold theses legs open "turkey legs )"

good enough for ya cj

Man up

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

I don't play with myself

Liar "

Pants aflame

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Santa doesn't exist "

You guys have a sick mind

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out "

It's purple anyway not blue

Ffs you just want me to post another pic

I might be bored enough tomorrow to do that

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

It's purple anyway not blue

Ffs you just want me to post another pic

I might be bored enough tomorrow to do that "

Someone needs to give you a rubiks cube to practise

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By *he rover returnedWoman  over a year ago

xxx

Wheres the batterys

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Netflix can't connect

Shoot me now....The locals are sucking my broadband and I am without entertainment

In house entertainment it is so, get your smurf out

It's purple anyway not blue

Ffs you just want me to post another pic

I might be bored enough tomorrow to do that

Someone needs to give you a rubiks cube to practise "

I mastered that many moons ago

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet? "

No

But wine chilling in the fridge

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet? "

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

"

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

No

But wine chilling in the fridge "

Damn woman who puts red wine in the fridge?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven "

Oven is closed for maintenance

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

No

But wine chilling in the fridge

Damn woman who puts red wine in the fridge? "

Ooooh yours is breathing on the mantelpiece so

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance "

Permanently

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

"

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently "

Gone out of date

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs "

I put them under the tree

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date "

Way past best before date

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date "

Like her wine

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

I put them under the tree "

What fecking tree

You know I chopped them down

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

I put them under the tree

What fecking tree

You know I chopped them down "

My tree

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

I put them under the tree

What fecking tree

You know I chopped them down

My tree "

Actually Fast. I have upgraded from hobnobs. A recent meet upgraded and you need to up your game to Foxes

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date "

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol "

It won't kill you. Wanna share?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

It won't kill you. Wanna share?"

I did. Gave it away lol I dont eat sugar

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Feck you fast where are my hobnobs

I put them under the tree

What fecking tree

You know I chopped them down

My tree

Actually Fast. I have upgraded from hobnobs. A recent meet upgraded and you need to up your game to Foxes "

Foxes !!!!! What !!!

Geordie leave the neighborhood, if you go quietly now it will be best for all .

This is a hobnob neighborhood

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

It won't kill you. Wanna share?"

You could be getting it next year

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

It won't kill you. Wanna share?"

Obviously they don't know me that well or would have got me a schlong of salami

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Geordie, are them goujons in the oven yet?

I wouldnt mind putting a bun in your oven

Oven is closed for maintenance

Permanently

Gone out of date

Way past best before date

Just like the homemade fudge that I received today which was meant for me last year lol

It won't kill you. Wanna share?

Obviously they don't know me that well or would have got me a schlong of salami "

This is true

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By *oo32Man  over a year ago

tipperary

We've no bread

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We've no bread"

You won't die

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By *oo32Man  over a year ago

tipperary


"We've no bread

You won't die "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ran outa cream

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By *ippa 63TV/TS  over a year ago

St Helens

Im off to bed see you in the morning. But its only 9 o clock.

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By *ficouldMan  over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?

We're abit early.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman  over a year ago

middle of nowhere

Is that mistletoe

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Did santy cum

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By *j47Man  over a year ago

limerick


"Did santy cum "

Not yet he has great staminia that fella he stays going all night

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Ate tomorrow's food

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Your terminally ill|

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman  over a year ago

middle of nowhere


"Your terminally ill| "

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Is that it?

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By *oo32Man  over a year ago

tipperary


"Ran outa cream "

Forgive the pun....but im sure youll get plenty of offers of cream...oh god

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By *he rover returnedWoman  over a year ago

xxx

Dublin for sam .... ffs

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Ran outa cream

Forgive the pun....but im sure youll get plenty of offers of cream...oh god "

Was waiting on that

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By *man79Man  over a year ago

newry dundalk. warrenpoint

There’s no Santa

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

“Kids are awake”

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By *elticmixMan  over a year ago

Antrim / Sligo

"Have the receipt?"

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By *oo32Man  over a year ago

tipperary


"Ran outa cream

Forgive the pun....but im sure youll get plenty of offers of cream...oh god

Was waiting on that "

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By *arshmallow_CannonMan  over a year ago

Belfast

There's the classic: "Is it in?"

Alternatively:

"I'm actually fifteen"

"No internet access"

"No toilet paper"

"Oh, you're awake"

More Christmas related - "Santas come early"

But my personal favourite most terrifying phrase is "we should talk"

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By *rinibooWoman  over a year ago

clare

Did I hear something

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By *traycats2Couple  over a year ago

Dublin

No gin left

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By *addy36Man  over a year ago

Mayo

I've no drink

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By *ustin-SiderMan  over a year ago

Belfast

Fuck it all?

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Downton abbeys on

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It needs

Extra Small Screwdriver

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By *ka ..Agent k ..Man  over a year ago

..


"Some assembly required "

Religion,football,politics

They all end in row.

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By *umpsMan  over a year ago

city

Car won't start

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The Fucking in-laws!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

"It's my mum"

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By *inkywife1981Couple  over a year ago

A town near you

Is that all

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By *uliacWoman  over a year ago

dublin

maybe next year

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By *eductively_SweetWoman  over a year ago

wexford


"Lets get married

Christ no that's a nightmare

I'd marry you tho "

Only if it's in the new year

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Out of drinks

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By *j47Man  over a year ago

limerick

Are u in yet

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

My mams coming

( not the gud type come either lol)

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Got my periods

Cue; background music...

"By the rivers of babylon"

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By *umpsMan  over a year ago

city

Santa's not real

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By *traycats2Couple  over a year ago

Dublin


"Got my periods

Cue; background music...

"By the rivers of babylon""

that was my present from Santa the asshole

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Bank accounts empty.... nothing worse than hearing that

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By *arbiegirl19Woman  over a year ago

Hollymount

Think I'm pregnant..

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Think I'm pregnant.. "

Haha

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"Think I'm pregnant.. "

Lovely ..fucking ..lovely..

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By *umpsMan  over a year ago

city


"Think I'm pregnant.. "

What! Pregnant! How?

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By *otstuff42Man  over a year ago

country

Right

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By *iktikiCouple  over a year ago

city centre

Liverpool top premier

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Sacre fucking bleu

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