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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi Ted,
I’m not exactly an expert but I see a few flaws.
Firstly there’s a discrepancy with your age. The profile says you’re 41 and your blurb says you’re 43.
There are also a couple of spelling mistakes. I know this may sound petty but your target may look at that and mark you down.
Reading the text it comes across as sterile. It sounds like it’s a CV type of thing. Try to inject your personality in that part.
As previously mentioned I am not an expert and if you look at my profile and do the opposite you’ll be fine as I haven’t had much luck. Haha
I hope this helps. |
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