FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > "Fab straight" guys
"Fab straight" guys
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just another brainstorm... we all know too well about bi guys having listed themselves as straight as pretty much every single guy manages to complain about how they're getting messages with offers from "straight" men.
Maybe ones that list themselves as straight just don't want to get bombarded by men all the time like women and couples do. Maybe they're just curious to try it once or twice or it's not their main preference. Maybe they don't want to put off some women (a lot of women don't like bi guys). Maybe they just want to keep it a secret in case someone from real life recognizes them.
Why be so judgemental? If you dont want to receive any messages from guys - just filter them out, why laugh at someone who is trying to do what we're all here to do (suit our own needs)?
Thoughts? |
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"Just another brainstorm... we all know too well about bi guys having listed themselves as straight as pretty much every single guy manages to complain about how they're getting messages with offers from "straight" men.
Maybe ones that list themselves as straight just don't want to get bombarded by men all the time like women and couples do. Maybe they're just curious to try it once or twice or it's not their main preference. Maybe they don't want to put off some women (a lot of women don't like bi guys). Maybe they just want to keep it a secret in case someone from real life recognizes them.
Why be so judgemental? If you dont want to receive any messages from guys - just filter them out, why laugh at someone who is trying to do what we're all here to do (suit our own needs)?
Thoughts? "
Filters are great and they work. Everyone to their own in a non judgemental way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just another brainstorm... we all know too well about bi guys having listed themselves as straight as pretty much every single guy manages to complain about how they're getting messages with offers from "straight" men.
Maybe ones that list themselves as straight just don't want to get bombarded by men all the time like women and couples do. Maybe they're just curious to try it once or twice or it's not their main preference. Maybe they don't want to put off some women (a lot of women don't like bi guys). Maybe they just want to keep it a secret in case someone from real life recognizes them.
Why be so judgemental? If you dont want to receive any messages from guys - just filter them out, why laugh at someone who is trying to do what we're all here to do (suit our own needs)?
Thoughts? "
I’ve honestly had the same thought many times that’s what filters are for if your not intrested instead of moaning must like the attention on some level  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Is the complaint not usually that they are getting messages from people that do not fit their stated preferenses who then refuse to take no for an answer, rather than giving out that "straight" men are.
In the same way that women and couples who state they are not looking for single men still get loads of messages.
You could block a whole gender but should you have to?
And yes the complaining about it us annoying I just dont think its as sinister or judgemental about the persons sexual orientation as you make out |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is the complaint not usually that they are getting messages from people that do not fit their stated preferenses who then refuse to take no for an answer, rather than giving out that "straight" men are.
In the same way that women and couples who state they are not looking for single men still get loads of messages.
You could block a whole gender but should you have to?
And yes the complaining about it us annoying I just dont think its as sinister or judgemental about the persons sexual orientation as you make out"
If it filters out the nonsense why not use it?
And yes, some people are quite sinister and judgemental about it. I do happen to have a lot of private conversations with a lot of those complainers...
And yes, I get your point too - some are extremely persistent, but those are persistent with everything that moves, my block list is overflowing with them too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im always sceptical when i see threads, or posts bemoaning the constant contact from bi guys, fab straight guys, tv/ts etc. In the time i have been on site with this profile, i have received no more than 4 messages from the above profiles.. |
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I don't judge anybody on FAB so long as you're here to respectly have fun with yourself or another. If so, more power to you 
Now, I don't use filters myself because I'm straight and if another man wants to pm or chat to me about a post, status update, parties he can do so. No probs there 
However, when I get guys asking me if I want "to suck" or "call over" to theirs, etc... I usually play along with their little game sometimes, get them feeling all lucky 
...& then point out two things...
1. My profile says "STRAIGHT"  &
2. TEASING is in my name!
So, best remember that! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There is still a bit of stigma about guys being bi offline, but I would have thought it wouldn't be an issue on here!?
I am somewhere between bi and straight, but have bi on my profile.
As a regular guy I am straight and as a CD I am bi with a m/f couple. Hard to explain why, but that's just the way I roll 
A lot of guys won't put bi down in case it puts women off. But in the first 6 months of my profile 90% of my profile views were by straight guys having a secret little perv  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just another brainstorm... we all know too well about bi guys having listed themselves as straight as pretty much every single guy manages to complain about how they're getting messages with offers from "straight" men.
Maybe ones that list themselves as straight just don't want to get bombarded by men all the time like women and couples do. Maybe they're just curious to try it once or twice or it's not their main preference. Maybe they don't want to put off some women (a lot of women don't like bi guys). Maybe they just want to keep it a secret in case someone from real life recognizes them.
Why be so judgemental? If you dont want to receive any messages from guys - just filter them out, why laugh at someone who is trying to do what we're all here to do (suit our own needs)?
Thoughts? "
I total agree x |
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Great topic. For a place you would think is a safe place to share your kinks and fantasies with whom you would assume are an open minded community in reality can be sadly very judgemental. I opened my account here as bi-curious. Being totally honest. Having been in a foursome with an ex and another couple years ago. lets just say some things happened with the other guy that i enjoyed, so my bucket list as a single guy included to have a threesome with a bi couple and to have sex with a convincing tv/ts. Not the slightest bit interested in meeting single guys. But the barrage of abuse i got(not just from males) was ridiculous so that fantasy will stay just that. And the sad thing is i will probably recieve messages now just proving my point lol |
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"To be honest this site might be turning them
Dare to disagree. I've turned a lot of people into bi before I knew that dab existed "
Jesus just looked at your profile an arse like that would turn man or woman with a strap on bi .... just saying like |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest this site might be turning them"
My brother went of university in London after finishing school here in Ireland in 1996 , my Dad (77) advice to him was
"Be careful over there son, look at your cousin (insert name), he went over there and he fell in with the wrong crowd and they got the turn on him" basically what he was saying was, they turned him gay
My mothers response was "are you mad, (insert name) was born gay, he was gay when he was 2. There was no big shock when he came out, the only ones who were surprised were you and his Dad.
Might point being you dont suddenly turn Bi
I know I curtanly didnt make a conscience discision to be straight, I didnt say to myself "all your mates are straight WB so you're gonna be straight" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Definitely agree. I don't think it should be any different from getting a message from a woman you're not interested in - graciously accept the compliment and move on!
You're right though, if it bothers someone that much, that's what the filters are for.
I never quite understood the reason why some women explicitly don't want to hear from bi or even bi-curious guys, even in a one on one setting. But people want what they want! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"To be honest this site might be turning them
My brother went of university in London after finishing school here in Ireland in 1996 , my Dad (77) advice to him was
"Be careful over there son, look at your cousin (insert name), he went over there and he fell in with the wrong crowd and they got the turn on him" basically what he was saying was, they turned him gay
My mothers response was "are you mad, (insert name) was born gay, he was gay when he was 2. There was no big shock when he came out, the only ones who were surprised were you and his Dad.
Might point being you dont suddenly turn Bi
I know I curtanly didnt make a conscience discision to be straight, I didnt say to myself "all your mates are straight WB so you're gonna be straight""
Very interesting point, but for me it's a little more complicated than that . |
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They list themselves as straight because some women wont fuck bi men due to increased std risks and they don't like it.
There was a thread on here a while ago where other women were openly laughing at girls who don't like bi men and had been lied to and bi men had sex with them unkown to them.
So since the women into bi men think its funny that they lie to get sex from other women, and wont judge them for being bi, then why say they are bi? why not just say straight? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most people on fab are not straight. Really don't know what the fuss is about.
Most fab guys are not straight and they don't need to 'be honest' about it or 'not lie' about their identity. It's their personal issue and not something they need to justify to anyone.
Assuming that bi guy is more risky (STIs) is just silly. Unprotected sex is risky. Not testing yourself often is risky. I've learnt more about safe sex from my bi and gay friends than I ever seen a straight friend knowing. Almost none of my straight friends screen for STIs.
There is some stigma out there related to male bisexuality. Male bisexuality is not that visible in the public eye. When a bi guy has a female partner, he's described as straight, when a male partner, as gay. That makes people not to hear or see much of bi guys and therefore, in my opinion, simply not being accustomed with it. And if something is unfamiliar, it seems strange and risky.
All of you ladies played with a bi guy knowingly or not... You also played with a guy who's predominantly straight and somehow bi etc. It's a scale and not a simple division as in straight/bi/gay. That is the main reason why so many lads keep it as straight in my view. If you are experimenting to see how attracted you are to same or another gender, it doesn't make you anything but an openminded and searching individual. People like labels though and black and white simplistic view of the world.
Btw, not many hot bi/bi curious lads in Ireland on fab though. But thankfully I know few, so if you fancy some very naughty curious and openminded fun, you know where to find me  hahaha  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most people on fab are not straight"
Firstly I agree with your about not having to justify their sexuality and the stigma around sti's.... but where are yiu getting your figures about how.many people on here are bi or gay? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most people on fab are not straight
Firstly I agree with your about not having to justify their sexuality and the stigma around sti's.... but where are yiu getting your figures about how.many people on here are bi or gay?"
I'm saying not straight, I didn't say bi or gay. You may have not read the end of my post.
I claim that statement due to statistics, deduction and some generalisation. Fab life experience tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most people on fab are not straight
Firstly I agree with your about not having to justify their sexuality and the stigma around sti's.... but where are yiu getting your figures about how.many people on here are bi or gay?
I'm saying not straight, I didn't say bi or gay. You may have not read the end of my post.
I claim that statement due to statistics, deduction and some generalisation. Fab life experience tbh. "
Ah thats just playing around with words.. you use labels in part of your post and then disregard them in others.
But I asked where you came up with your numbers and you answered so thanks |
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"Assuming that bi guy is more risky (STIs) is just silly."
It's just fact.
A straight swinger is obviously higher risk than a straight member of the public, but a lot of STIs simply do not exist in Ireland in white/straight people.
You would have to put 80,000 straight people in a room to find one person with hiv. And that one person likely participated in "risky" behaviour.
End of the day, all swinging increases the risk, if people want to reduce risk by not meeting some people, its no different than putting a condom on, is it?
the risk level goes like this, from lowest risk to highest.
Straight non risk takers - straight risk takers - Bisexual/gay women - Bisexual men - Gay men - African people in Ireland.
I have tattoos, and I have casual sex now and again. I am higher risk than an average guy, and I have no problem saying this to a girl I meet and saying she should get tested. I would never pretend to be as low risk as a normal member of the public, regardless of the precautions I take.
|
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I was on Fab for ages and used to get excited when I'd see that I had a new unsolicited message. Only to click on it...and find that it was a guy, despite my saying I was straight on my profile. A few got quite abusive and/or persistent when I didn't reply. Blockity-blockity-block!
And then... lo and behold I discovered filters and while I now get far fewer messages, at least there's some chance I'll be interested in the senders of the messages I do get.
But - I'm fairly sure I never moaned about receiving those messages in my status and definitely not in the forum! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some further reading on the best post imo and others on this subject. Good debate, questions and no personalisation or judgemental approaches.
https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/819023 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assuming that bi guy is more risky (STIs) is just silly.
It's just fact.
A straight swinger is obviously higher risk than a straight member of the public, but a lot of STIs simply do not exist in Ireland in white/straight people.
You would have to put 80,000 straight people in a room to find one person with hiv. And that one person likely participated in "risky" behaviour.
End of the day, all swinging increases the risk, if people want to reduce risk by not meeting some people, its no different than putting a condom on, is it?
the risk level goes like this, from lowest risk to highest.
Straight non risk takers - straight risk takers - Bisexual/gay women - Bisexual men - Gay men - African people in Ireland.
I have tattoos, and I have casual sex now and again. I am higher risk than an average guy, and I have no problem saying this to a girl I meet and saying she should get tested. I would never pretend to be as low risk as a normal member of the public, regardless of the precautions I take.
"
There are few points I don't understand in your post.
1. Assuming that a guy with a tattoo (unless you got it recently and haven't tested yourself after the period that takes for HIV to incubate) is a higher risk as a sexual partner (I assume you use protection every time and test yourself often), where the main risk factors are
a) unprotected sex
b) multiple partners
c) youth - young people actually are biologically more susceptible to the infections than older people, especially females
d) trading sex - as not being in position to demand safe sex
etc etc
You are mentioning an average guy, with how you described your sexual life, it looks you represent the average guy lifestyle pretty well, therefore you are not higher risk than any other lad out there. If you practice safe sex, you are most likely a less of a risk than the girl you sleep with.
2. Putting straight risk takers as a lesser risk than bisexual males on the scale of risk is not based on science but your own imagination. Risk takers are always higher risk than people that practice safe sex. It's not your sexual orientation, sexual identity or colour of the skin that makes you a higher risk but how you practice sex.
Best way of avoiding risk in swinging is not playing with people that don't use protection and that don't test themselves on a regular basis.
I can easily create similar scale like yours based on level of education, financial status, areas of Dublin where you live etc. But nobody says that people with lower income, lower education are higher risk than those with higher education and financial status. Because it's not what causes spread of STIs. I encourage you to talk about what cases risk of STIs and not to spread fake news that leads to stigmatising others.
Not practicing safe sex is the biggest issue.
BTW - how many of you practice oral sex with protection? |
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I'm a BI TS. In my experience most men are BI .I've had more so called straight men come on to me than I've had hot dinners . I'm honest about who I like... I've dated both women and men ..I get tested regularly and I think if you don't do that you're fooling yourself and a risk to everyone else. There is a stigma on Fab I can see that and it surprised me to see it tbh.. However there are lovely people who accept my bi self. Today I've 430 hits on my profile and the biggest majority are so called straight men. I don't show my bits unless to friends so make of that what you will. I live female think female and look female so obviously that over rides the fact I also have a cock.  |
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"Just another brainstorm... we all know too well about bi guys having listed themselves as straight as pretty much every single guy manages to complain about how they're getting messages with offers from "straight" men.
Maybe ones that list themselves as straight just don't want to get bombarded by men all the time like women and couples do. Maybe they're just curious to try it once or twice or it's not their main preference. Maybe they don't want to put off some women (a lot of women don't like bi guys). Maybe they just want to keep it a secret in case someone from real life recognizes them.
Why be so judgemental? If you dont want to receive any messages from guys - just filter them out, why laugh at someone who is trying to do what we're all here to do (suit our own needs)?
Thoughts? "
Absolutely spot on. I used to get messages from "straight" guys on here making all kinds of offers. Rather than get into endless debate with them or whine about it, filters were set and single guys can't message me. Done. Easy peasy and best of luck to them. Just not my thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is still a bit of stigma about guys being bi offline, but I would have thought it wouldn't be an issue on here!?
I am somewhere between bi and straight, but have bi on my profile.
As a regular guy I am straight and as a CD I am bi with a m/f couple. Hard to explain why, but that's just the way I roll
A lot of guys won't put bi down in case it puts women off. But in the first 6 months of my profile 90% of my profile views were by straight guys having a secret little perv "
But how do you know their perving? I sometimes look at guys profiles, and the only reason is because I'm looking at a ladies profile verifications to give me an idea of what kind of guys she's into.. But just me |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"There is still a bit of stigma about guys being bi offline, but I would have thought it wouldn't be an issue on here!?
I am somewhere between bi and straight, but have bi on my profile.
As a regular guy I am straight and as a CD I am bi with a m/f couple. Hard to explain why, but that's just the way I roll
A lot of guys won't put bi down in case it puts women off. But in the first 6 months of my profile 90% of my profile views were by straight guys having a secret little perv
But how do you know their perving? I sometimes look at guys profiles, and the only reason is because I'm looking at a ladies profile verifications to give me an idea of what kind of guys she's into.. But just me "
100% valid point. |
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"There is still a bit of stigma about guys being bi offline, but I would have thought it wouldn't be an issue on here!?
I am somewhere between bi and straight, but have bi on my profile.
As a regular guy I am straight and as a CD I am bi with a m/f couple. Hard to explain why, but that's just the way I roll
A lot of guys won't put bi down in case it puts women off. But in the first 6 months of my profile 90% of my profile views were by straight guys having a secret little perv
But how do you know their perving? I sometimes look at guys profiles, and the only reason is because I'm looking at a ladies profile verifications to give me an idea of what kind of guys she's into.. But just me
100% valid point. "
100% straight here. No shame on admitting it.
Haven't read all threats above, don't care .
Some of us really are straight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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100% not straight here..couldnt care less about the stigma attached to it...im more interested in tv/ts than I am in male or female.. as a bit guy a ts is just what I want...a cock and boobs!!! Oh happy days!!! to be honest vaginas scare me a bit!! anyway be yourself enjoy what you enjoy and ignore the rest...(.)(.) =)----- |
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