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Chuck Norris jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Right I did this one a few months ago,thought I’d start it again because these forums get far to serious at times and let’s lighten our Wednesday’s :-Ill start with one of my favourites

Chuck Norris invented giraffes by uppercutting horses

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norria doesn't flush the toilet he scares the shit out of it!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is it 2005 again

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By *lan5200Man over a year ago

cavan

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Chuck Norris is the only man who lost his virginity before his father

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By *ussieGMan over a year ago

Ireland

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse , horses are hung like Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris owned a boomerang...but it was too scared to come back.

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By *aughtyTippcplCouple over a year ago

Nearby

Chuck Norris doesn't wear condoms

Because there's no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris

Tina

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

After each night of shooting Expendables 1, Stallone used to go to Hooters for a drink where a cute Hooters girl in hot pants named Chuck served him...

... the rest as they say is history

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

There's Chuck Norris jokes...

because no one's brave enough

to joke about Bruce Lee!

(mic drop...)

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

Before being discovered as a martial arts talent, Chuck Norris was a writer for Hallmark greeting cards.

Awwwww....

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

Moral of the last three posts is

that Pro Chuck Norris jokes aren't funny

...although credit where credit is due

the blouse & skirt he wore at Vanilla

last month did match his handbag

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When Chuck Norris went to collage he told his father your the man of the house now

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris spice his steaks with pepper spray

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By *umpsMan over a year ago

city

When David banner gets angry he turns into the hulk.. when the hulk gets angry he turns into Chuck Norris

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice.

When parents were scared, they come to sleep in his bed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

When chuck Norris _umps into water he doesn’t get wet the water gets chuck Norrised

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By *P_80Man over a year ago

Waterford

Chuck Norris once shot a plane out of the sky by pointing his finger and saying "Bang"!!

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By *rDarcy37Man over a year ago

lucan

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck norris once shot a plane down by pointing his finger at it and shouting bang.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When they released the kraken.....

Chuck Norris put it in his fish tank

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris has been dead for 10 years, deaths just too scared to tell him.

Chuck Norris Wright’s his name into concrete, with piss.

Jesus walked on water, chuck Norris swims through dry land.

Chuck Norris has a summer home, on the sun.

Chuck Norris doesn’t dial wrong numbers, people answer the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris can email roundhouse kicks.

In WW2 the Germans surrendered the day chuck Norris was born.

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By *m389Man over a year ago

Bromley

Chuck Norris does not sleep, he waits...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris does not dial the wrong number.... you pick up the wrong phone..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people.... then it exploded and killed 100...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris...lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.

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By *arry and AnnCouple over a year ago

Louth

Chuck Norris can divide by zero

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Even Chuck Norris couldn't get a meet on fab

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Even Chuck Norris couldn't get a meet on fab "

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By *rDarcy37Man over a year ago

lucan

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

True Story

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By *emper-fudgeMan over a year ago

Blackrock

Chuck norris doesn't read books....he stares them down till they give him the information he needs..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Even Chuck Norris couldn't get a meet on fab "

So true!!!

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

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By *ichael McCarthyMan over a year ago

Lucan

Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

For Chuck Norris, the roundhouse kick is not a signature move. It's just the closest he can come to his high school cheerleading days, that he misses terribly

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"Before going to bed, the Boogeyman always checks his closet for Chuck Norris...lol"

----------------------

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he looks in his closet for Chuck Norris. Chuck's bum is still sore from the last time he was found

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

"Chuck norris once shot a plane down by pointing his finger at it and shouting bang."

--------------------------

Chuck Norris once stopped mid round-house kick because he soiled himself upon realizing his opponent was a black belt in karaoke ...yes karaoke

...wise move Chuck

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

I used to love watching Chucks films. I didn't go to the cinema. Instead I just waited for two weeks until the film came out on video

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

If you yell "Chuck Norris" into the Grand Caynon,

...it echoes back "IS A BIG GIRLS BLOUSE!"

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

When Alexander Bell invented telephone- he already had two missed calls from Chuck Norris

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By *endricks Gin LoversCouple over a year ago

North Dublin

When Chuck Norris whacks one out women within a 20 mile radius have an orgasm

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By *endricks Gin LoversCouple over a year ago

North Dublin

When Chuck Norris goes to bed the night light is on. Not that Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

Chuck Norris was turned down for the lead role in Brookback Mountain because he was crying uncontrollably to even finish his lines during the auditions