FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > What happened to manners?
What happened to manners?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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When you ladies post an update with either a question or a more general request is it no longer seen as good manners to say thanks to a response? Has it seriously gotten that bad that not responding in anyway is now the done thing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Women get tons of messages everyday but I agree in that a thanks but no thanks goes a long way...sometimes I think being a thundering asshole can get you further |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I allways reply even if its a no thanks
But the thanks i get back is endless mails still asking to meet and why
Which ends in a block
Where is the thanks there when no is not enough and not understood |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Manners goes out the window in this place, people can't be aesed to read a profile before messaging. Send crude messages before even saying hello. Send multiple messages if you haven't opened a message them expect to get a reply and maybe sometimes people aint arsed replying because they are chatting to someone else and will reply when good and ready. You don't see many woman giving out when they don't get reply and guess what it does happen!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Good too see that not all fabbers are without manners. The crude messages and pestering I dont understand? I thought for a while that maybe I need to be more of a persistant prick but think i'll stick to being polite. |
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By *m389Man
over a year ago
Bromley |
"I stopped replying with " thanks not for me as i recieved many replies with " ur a whore/ why not?? Etc etc etc! Not all men wud dream of sending such vile msgs but many do...."
*Received*
Sorry   |
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"I stopped replying with " thanks not for me as i recieved many replies with " ur a whore/ why not?? Etc etc etc! Not all men wud dream of sending such vile msgs but many do....
*Received* thanks teacher!!! not like me to do a spelling mistake!
Sorry "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I stopped replying with " thanks not for me as i recieved many replies with " ur a whore/ why not?? Etc etc etc! Not all men wud dream of sending such vile msgs but many do...."
Sadly thats what happens with a not thanks. Its often followed by a why not and then vile abuse. People who think you should respond to 100 messages plus a day need their bumps examined or are unemployed as even at 30secs to open and reply that the best part of an hour a day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even when the most polite thanks but no thanks is followed by even more polite "Thank you for responding, I really appreciate it".
Two, three weeks in same person messages with a new chat up line saying "we chatted before" (it actually shows on one's profile who you messaged and when did they reply). Then you gotta go through being all polite again... is it worth anyone's time? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even when the most polite thanks but no thanks is followed by even more polite "Thank you for responding, I really appreciate it".
Two, three weeks in same person messages with a new chat up line saying "we chatted before" (it actually shows on one's profile who you messaged and when did they reply). Then you gotta go through being all polite again... is it worth anyone's time? "
I can understand it gets frustrating for a woman when a guy messages over and over after a no thank you. I'd like to get a no thank you. I've only got one before. I just kindly said thank you for at least responding also, asked her to kindly block me so I don't mistakingly message you again. No need to be vile to her for not liking me plenty will and do. A nice no can go along way once the guy isn't a dick who thinks every woman should want him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even when the most polite thanks but no thanks is followed by even more polite "Thank you for responding, I really appreciate it".
Two, three weeks in same person messages with a new chat up line saying "we chatted before" (it actually shows on one's profile who you messaged and when did they reply). Then you gotta go through being all polite again... is it worth anyone's time?
I can understand it gets frustrating for a woman when a guy messages over and over after a no thank you. I'd like to get a no thank you. I've only got one before. I just kindly said thank you for at least responding also, asked her to kindly block me so I don't mistakingly message you again. No need to be vile to her for not liking me plenty will and do. A nice no can go along way once the guy isn't a dick who thinks every woman should want him"
If the message is nice I do reply even if to say 'thank you for the lovely message but......'
I always get a message thanking me and if they badger me then I block.
I am lucky in that I rarely get rude or nasty messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reply and its not ok thank you goodbye, its persistant badgering. Wheres the manners there ?? Also messages like you want cock and fancy a fuck ... show me the manners?? "
Spot on..in most cases a respectful no thank you is never left at that..
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I reply and its not ok thank you goodbye, its persistant badgering. Wheres the manners there ?? Also messages like you want cock and fancy a fuck ... show me the manners?? Spot on..in most cases a respectful no thank you is never left at that.."
But sure ladies are always changing their minds no today could be yes tomorrow.
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By *eys00Man
over a year ago
have boots will travel |
I always appreciate a polite "no thank you" if there isn't an interest there, I normally just thank the person and move on.
But then I get a lot of messages from men here and when I send the polite "no thank you, not looking for men" I end up getting a lot of messages back. So really just cop on lads and let's all act like adults for a change |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I stopped replying with " thanks not for me as i recieved many replies with " ur a whore/ why not?? Etc etc etc! Not all men wud dream of sending such vile msgs but many do...."
This. I can't tell you how fed up I am of guys claiming to 'like curvy women' suddenly rear their heads and call me fat-shaming names when I don't automatically respond to their idiotic one-liner messages.
I don't care how witty, charming or hot you think you are... this is an anonymous site, which means if you don't make any real effort to connect then you'll get as much luck with women online as you would offline. Grow a pair. |
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"I stopped replying with " thanks not for me as i recieved many replies with " ur a whore/ why not?? Etc etc etc! Not all men wud dream of sending such vile msgs but many do....
This. I can't tell you how fed up I am of guys claiming to 'like curvy women' suddenly rear their heads and call me fat-shaming names when I don't automatically respond to their idiotic one-liner messages.
I don't care how witty, charming or hot you think you are... this is an anonymous site, which means if you don't make any real effort to connect then you'll get as much luck with women online as you would offline. Grow a pair."
Well said abd bloody true  |
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We respond with the same manners used in the message sent.
If the sender is polite, then we politely respond, even if not interested.
If you send us one word, then you get a word back (that word is no).
If you are aggressive, stupid, or excessively crude, then it gets deleted and the sender blocked. Might even send an appropriate response back if your annoyed enough.
Happy to respond to most, even to decline, but again speak to us like you would want to be spoken too (in a nightclub environment and not a whore house from the old west!) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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9 out of 10 times I respond with no thank you Not interested Good luck.
And 9 out of 10 times I get abuse.
Yeah that's what you get for having manners.
Time to change the record.   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Quoted from Site FAQs :
"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"
"When you ladies post an update with either a question or a more general request is it no longer seen as good manners to say thanks to a response? Has it seriously gotten that bad that not responding in anyway is now the done thing? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Quoted from Site FAQs :
"There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!
It's not rude not to reply.
Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?"
When you ladies post an update with either a question or a more general request is it no longer seen as good manners to say thanks to a response? Has it seriously gotten that bad that not responding in anyway is now the done thing? "
Eeeeexactly |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Well,
If i don't a reply from my first message then I send again a second message then a third ,finally no reply I move that profile in my block list because there is not point me viewing their profile.
If I do get a polite negative reply that I am not their type..I respect that honest. No blocking their profile ,never know they will change their mind.
If you are in my friend list and no replying my messages and no meeting in the horizon just there to pervert my pics then it's a no no for me ..move you in my block list.
I usually asked if they are into interracial fun b ecause there is no point of chatting with someone who is not into interracial fun.
I don't like tennis messages and time waster no meeting in the horizon or reply like I don't know when to meet ...moved in my block list.
Feel free to move me in your block list if that doesn't suit...
Thank you for reading and no hard feeling |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just find no reply means no interest I wouldn't bother sending a second"
Thats your rule..we are all different... But I prefer send 3 messages then no reply definitely it is no interest from that person.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just find no reply means no interest I wouldn't bother sending a second
Thats your rule..we are all different... But I prefer send 3 messages then no reply definitely it is no interest from that person.."
Oh ya you do you're thing mate ... Not stopping you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just find no reply means no interest I wouldn't bother sending a second
Thats your rule..we are all different... But I prefer send 3 messages then no reply definitely it is no interest from that person..
Oh ya you do you're thing mate ... Not stopping you "
Never said you stopping mate. But thx |
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"I just find no reply means no interest I wouldn't bother sending a second
Thats your rule..we are all different... But I prefer send 3 messages then no reply definitely it is no interest from that person.."
So you ignore admins
.
"STOP. THINK.
You've already sent XXXX a message and not received a reply back.
If someone doesn't reply, it's not rude, it just means they're not interested. You're better off messaging people who you haven't contacted already. PS. Because some women and couples get hundreds of mails each day, we take a dim view of anyone harassing those who don't reply."
Twice? Isn't that a really rude thing to do it certainly lacks manners yet this thread is about manners.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I stopped replying with " thanks not for me as i recieved many replies with " ur a whore/ why not?? Etc etc etc! Not all men wud dream of sending such vile msgs but many do....
This. I can't tell you how fed up I am of guys claiming to 'like curvy women' suddenly rear their heads and call me fat-shaming names when I don't automatically respond to their idiotic one-liner messages.
I don't care how witty, charming or hot you think you are... this is an anonymous site, which means if you don't make any real effort to connect then you'll get as much luck with women online as you would offline. Grow a pair."
It’s also the issue of a lot of guys who think FAB = dial a ride ( it’s definitely not!) and just won’t put work and manners into connecting with somebody. It takes time folks. |
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On here many years and always the same story so I keep it simple. Yes like a reply, as put effort into each message, so appreciate and acknowledge when get a reply.
However if the effort go to is read n simply deleted without reply then I obviously know with all sent I'm simply not what they are looking for!
As a result I simply block! Not in a nasty way, but obviously something caught my eye about them n just saves my time and messaging again by mistake. If read and leave but no reply, depending on how many boxes they tick I may send a second incase lost in all the messages, but never more! Not desperate nor looking such! |
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I always respond to mails that have a direct link to a status or forum post... But only if that's obvious from the subject or first few lines... Pointless making the effort to respond to a mail sent by someone who has not made the effort to read the profile before initiating conversation... Single guys and couples!!
I wont waste ur time if u won't waste mine! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Posted this on another thread earlier..
Its very simple, because you take the time to message someone does not mean that you are owed a reply, and that goes for everyone, girls, guys and couples.. its like getting a letter saying you may be entitled to PPI, if its of interest to you great, if its not you dont have to write to them saying thank you for your letter but no thanks.. yes its frustrating, but its the way it is, big boy/girl pants on and move along |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you ladies post an update with either a question or a more general request is it no longer seen as good manners to say thanks to a response? Has it seriously gotten that bad that not responding in anyway is now the done thing? "
No such thing as manors on here, to may people up there own backside for that  |
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Popped online for an early morning perve....3 women online including me... 142 men!
Within 4 minutes I had 42 messages!
And I am not even looking for men
I would need to pay my PA overtime to be able to respond to each one! |
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By *m389Man
over a year ago
Bromley |
"Popped online for an early morning perve....3 women online including me... 142 men!
Within 4 minutes I had 42 messages!
And I am not even looking for men
I would need to pay my PA overtime to be able to respond to each one! "
100 men took the time to read your profile and realise it would be pointless mailing you.
That’s pretty damn good! |
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"Popped online for an early morning perve....3 women online including me... 142 men!
Within 4 minutes I had 42 messages!
And I am not even looking for men
I would need to pay my PA overtime to be able to respond to each one!
100 men took the time to read your profile and realise it would be pointless mailing you.
That’s pretty damn good! "
Hahaha ur a glass half full kind of guy! I like it |
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"Well,
If i don't a reply from my first message then I send again a second message then a third ,finally no reply I move that profile in my block list because there is not point me viewing their profile.
If I do get a polite negative reply that I am not their type..I respect that honest. No blocking their profile ,never know they will change their mind.
If you are in my friend list and no replying my messages and no meeting in the horizon just there to pervert my pics then it's a no no for me ..move you in my block list.
I usually asked if they are into interracial fun b ecause there is no point of chatting with someone who is not into interracial fun.
I don't like tennis messages and time waster no meeting in the horizon or reply like I don't know when to meet ...moved in my block list.
Feel free to move me in your block list if that doesn't suit...
Thank you for reading and no hard feeling"
If u do not receive a reply after the first message dont send a second or third message just move on and message someone else once! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with you there. But I think it goes further wilh all people on line.not just here.its like so many people go into this mode
No manners or they forget there are other humans out there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you ladies post an update with either a question or a more general request is it no longer seen as good manners to say thanks to a response? Has it seriously gotten that bad that not responding in anyway is now the done thing? "
Yes it is so bad in general even in the workplace, no manners no more . Thanks for this post Op I will be keeping a watch on it... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I allways reply even if its a no thanks
But the thanks i get back is endless mails still asking to meet and why
Which ends in a block
Where is the thanks there when no is not enough and not understood"
Interesting theary I totally get this it has happened so many times now. So yes I do not answer all the time and have to block a lot that just do not understand or take no for an answer. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sadly I just don't have the time to be on fab constantly replying to every message that's sent. It clearly states on my profile everyone is worthy of a reply and to take it as a polite no thank you if I don't. This advice is also stated on the site regarding messages.
I find it very ill mannered for the majority of men that complain about not getting a reply to say it is because we are rude, we have huge egos, we have no manners and we are and I quote "Stuck up our own holes." To finally finish with something in the lines of "Even the tide wouldn't take you out."
It's laughable.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you ladies post an update with either a question or a more general request is it no longer seen as good manners to say thanks to a response? Has it seriously gotten that bad that not responding in anyway is now the done thing?
Yes it is so bad in general even in the workplace, no manners no more . Thanks for this post Op I will be keeping a watch on it... "
If someone has taken time to read our profile and send us a well composed message, then yes, we will generally reply. But 99% of the messages we get are clearly from people who havent read our profile or taken any notice of our stated preferences. Why on earth would we take the time requieed to reply to those type of messages?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Totally women on here have lost the run of themselves .We all get plenty of messages daily.But a simple message saying no thank u or im not interested goes a long way ..it's nice to be nice "
you couldn't have said it any better if their was only more like you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sadly I just don't have the time to be on fab constantly replying to every message that's sent. It clearly states on my profile everyone is worthy of a reply and to take it as a polite no thank you if I don't. This advice is also stated on the site regarding messages.
I find it very ill mannered for the majority of men that complain about not getting a reply to say it is because we are rude, we have huge egos, we have no manners and we are and I quote "Stuck up our own holes." To finally finish with something in the lines of "Even the tide wouldn't take you out."
It's laughable.
"
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I generally reply to most with a polite no thanks but fuckwits I generally ignore, persistent fuckwits get blocked.
I can understand women not having time to respond to all, including non fuckwits. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I generally reply to most with a polite no thanks but fuckwits I generally ignore, persistent fuckwits get blocked.
I can understand women not having time to respond to all, including non fuckwits. "
Heah you I have the licencing rights to the word Fuckwits on this site! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I generally reply to most with a polite no thanks but fuckwits I generally ignore, persistent fuckwits get blocked.
I can understand women not having time to respond to all, including non fuckwits.
Heah you I have the licencing rights to the word Fuckwits on this site! "
A great word. It does the job for describing a certain element on this site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Ahhhh but ye see there’s manners and there’s being caught out lol.... you reply thanks and some translate “thanks” for “I fancy you come fuck me” and then your stuck trying to persuade them different  . Can’t win |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Ahhhh but ye see there’s manners and there’s being caught out lol.... you reply thanks and some translate “thanks” for “I fancy you come fuck me” and then your stuck trying to persuade them different . Can’t win "
This whole process seems to be making a lot of sense now! Basically from what I can gather there a load of genuine people being tortured by "fuckwits". This in turn has left the genuine people to become fairly insular and sticking to who they know with little room or patience for new guys! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ahhhh but ye see there’s manners and there’s being caught out lol.... you reply thanks and some translate “thanks” for “I fancy you come fuck me” and then your stuck trying to persuade them different . Can’t win
This whole process seems to be making a lot of sense now!
Basically from what I can gather there a load of genuine people being tortured by "fuckwits". This in turn has left the genuine people to become fairly insular and sticking to who they know with little room or patience for new guys! "
Very, Very, VERY true! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I stopped replying with " thanks not for me as i recieved many replies with " ur a whore/ why not?? Etc etc etc! Not all men wud dream of sending such vile msgs but many do...."
Totally agree. When I first joined I would always reply saying "thanks for the offer but not for me".
Problem was, 90% of the time I got replies that were vicious about my body, although my body didn't seem to bother them in the first place...
Also, I'm sick of getting messages saying things like "love 2 eat ur cunt babe" all day everyday. The vast majority of messages I get fall into that category. No manners there either.
Maybe I've become bitter now but that's been my experience. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you ladies post an update with either a question or a more general request is it no longer seen as good manners to say thanks to a response? Has it seriously gotten that bad that not responding in anyway is now the done thing? "
Read mind and it'll give you your answer |
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"When you ladies post an update with either a question or a more general request is it no longer seen as good manners to say thanks to a response? Has it seriously gotten that bad that not responding in anyway is now the done thing? "
I’m prob guilty of having to much manners ????I say thanks to everyone/anyone I cross! From the bin man to the accountant! As someone said manners cost nothing! However if someone is rude to me! I said thanks just to annoy them ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When you ladies post an update with either a question or a more general request is it no longer seen as good manners to say thanks to a response? Has it seriously gotten that bad that not responding in anyway is now the done thing?
I’m prob guilty of having to much manners ????I say thanks to everyone/anyone I cross! From the bin man to the accountant! As someone said manners cost nothing! However if someone is rude to me! I said thanks just to annoy them ??"
Fairplay to you will you be my P.A |
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Are these crude messages from verified users or mostly not? Maybe it would be good that instead of allowing anyone to join and immediately begin to message whoever they want, maybe New unverified users cannot message anybody at all until they have had so many likes from verified members on their profile. Maybe 10 or more. That way they would have to put up at least one pic and make an effort with the profile to get people to like in the first place. That way all the chancers that join and expect instant sex and get angry when it doesn't work wouldn't get to send vile messages. One abusive message and you get thrown out and would have to join again and get the likes again. And just as we view hot pics we could view newcomers and if they made an effort ( and admin google searched the pics to make sure they are not of someone else) they'd get a chance. I think too many blokes come on here with penis in hand thinking it'll be like the cheap porn movie they just watched. Nobody should be abused when coming to a place for fun. |
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