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By *-Man OP Man
over a year ago
Kark |
Guy: Just a coffee please
Cashier: Any petrol?
Guy: No
Cashier: Any diesel?
Guy: No
Cashier: Do you have a loyalty card?
Guy: I don't
Cashier: Are you on our email list of great offers?
Guy: I'm not
Cashier: Would you like to join?
Guy: No thanks
Cashier: For 50 cent more you can get a KitKat
Guy: No thanks
Cashier: Tonight's lotto is over 4 million, would you like to play?
Guy: No thanks
Cashier: So just a coffee then?
Guy: Yeah, see first line above please  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Espresso, latte, cappuccino, americano, machiato?
Small, medium, large or gallon?
Sugar? White or brown?
Extra milk?
Any flavour?"
chai skinny latte ... soya not milk |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"Sir you must put a lid on that before you bring it over to put your sugar in, it’s a health and safety issue!!  "
You then walk back creating another H&S risk to discover the lids don't fit!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was in my local coffee shop the other day and there was a guy on his own sitting a few tables away,no phone,no tablet,no headphones,nothing,just sitting there,drinking coffee,like a weirdo  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was in my local coffee shop the other day and there was a guy on his own sitting a few tables away,no phone,no tablet,no headphones,nothing,just sitting there,drinking coffee,like a weirdo "
O shit I would have run away FAST  |
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"And then they ask you your name to write on the cup and spell it arse ways..
seriously how hard is it??
It’s more like 4 step verification with the bank than just getting a cup of bloomin coffee!
"
Just tell them your name is Fuckface. They remember, and never ask again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Guy: Just a coffee please
Cashier: Any petrol?
Guy: No
Cashier: Any diesel?
Guy: No
Cashier: Do you have a loyalty card?
Guy: I don't
Cashier: Are you on our email list of great offers?
Guy: I'm not
Cashier: Would you like to join?
Guy: No thanks
Cashier: For 50 cent more you can get a KitKat
Guy: No thanks
Cashier: Tonight's lotto is over 4 million, would you like to play?
Guy: No thanks
Cashier: So just a coffee then?
Guy: Yeah, see first line above please "
Pmsl and so it goes! Becoming a bit of ordeal these going to the counter. Thanks for the laugh dude |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Haha brilliant. Just like walking into a restaurant. Table for 2 please. To be responded with have you booked? Well clearly not or I would have said table booked for 8pm for ..... |
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By *ilderMan
over a year ago
dublin |
So true!
I hate upselling, it's like they don't think you can see it a mile off.
Try walking into mcdonalds and saying 'just a chicken burger please', they always try to upsell, like I don't know what I want 
I know it's what they are trained but it's still very annoying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So true!
I hate upselling, it's like they don't think you can see it a mile off.
Try walking into mcdonalds and saying 'just a chicken burger please', they always try to upsell, like I don't know what I want
I know it's what they are trained but it's still very annoying"
That's why I always end up with cheese bites then |
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By *-Man OP Man
over a year ago
Kark |
"Just give me the fucking coffee and nobody gets hurt "
Yes, I had a whole Hannibal shopping list planned out in my head, thread, a vinyl copy of Goodbye Horses, lotion and a basket, a JCB to dig a hole...those thoughts stopped after I got my coffee |
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By *-Man OP Man
over a year ago
Kark |
"And then they ask you your name to write on the cup and spell it arse ways..
seriously how hard is it??
It’s more like 4 step verification with the bank than just getting a cup of bloomin coffee!
Just tell them your name is Fuckface. They remember, and never ask again. "
I like your thinking, you could get away with Dick, or Miles Long, Mandingo, Pussy Galore, Mrs Knockers...oh there's loads! |
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I remember being in a shop & bought one single packet of chewing gum, I handed over the money, he gave me my change & the gum & then asked me if I'd like a bag for it?!!
I just looked at him & very obviously slowly slid it into my pocket.
"I think I'm OK?" haha |
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