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Affairs/cheating
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By *aid back OP Man
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
This isn't about the married singles on here.
This is about the partners of couples on here together playing offside or having affairs behind their partners back without their knowledge. I don't understand it if your partner is happy to swing why do they need to play offside? |
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It really is a strange one... I get messages from couples profiles (verified as couples) where it's very apparent they are playing without their partners knowledge. Cheating is cheating . If youve a partner that you're sneaking around on it's cheating. |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"Maybe they have a "not meeting alone" rule, and one for them wants to fuck someone the other isnt attracted to?
That's the only reason I can think of."
Or one of them wants more sex/meets than the other one, or the relationship isn't as good than they pretend, or one thinks with his/her genitals rather than the brain, or simply the kick and thrill etc etc basically the same mechanisms you'll find in vanilla world. Although I think the chances that the other one finds out are higher and yet I believe it happens quite often going by the enquiries I get now and then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You need to be very strong mentally and very very trusting to survive on swinging sites.
The swinging scene is a small place too, so ur playing with fire
Each to their own though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s mainly the female part of couples that cheat here behind their partners back, I know the men do it too but they always seem to get caught lol |
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By *aid back OP Man
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Op what are the numbers here we are talking about ?
Are you talking about mostly the male partners going behind their female partners backs or the other way around"
I don't know exact numbers. But over the years I've heard of a good few cpls that it's happened to. |
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By *aid back OP Man
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Op what are the numbers here we are talking about ?
Are you talking about mostly the male partners going behind their female partners backs or the other way around
I don't know exact numbers. But over the years I've heard of a good few cpls that it's happened to. "
Not just heard but I've known a few cpls too |
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"I think it’s mainly the female part of couples that cheat here behind their partners back, I know the men do it too but they always seem to get caught lol"
Do you think there are ladies on here as part of a couple but who also have their own seperate profile without the huddys knowing very naughty girls if so |
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"This isn't about the married singles on here.
This is about the partners of couples on here together playing offside or having affairs behind their partners back without their knowledge. I don't understand it if your partner is happy to swing why do they need to play offside? "
Cheaters will always cheat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hate the way people always think badly of cheaters, people cheat because they’re not happy so you should feel sorry for them, and have some compassion for them ?? |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
I think the main reasons have been already mentioned but I think there is no need for it, I find cheating on a swinging site baffling to be honest.
I would put it down to emotional immaturity and stupidity. It all comes out eventually and never ends well. |
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They are human. Maybe they like a guy and the husband does not, for whatever reason. Maybe does not like his personality, maybe does not like his body etc etc.
So the wife thinks, sure he is okay with other guys and i like this one, so I might have a bit of a sneak.
For guys cheating its probably because they will fuck anything at all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't get it at all if you are already in the swinging lifestyle. For a couple to be on here it takes alot of honesty and trust in the first place so something like that is never going to end well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people think most couples are more stable or secure because they swing they are wrong from a lot of the evidence I've seen"
Swingers are no different to anyone else at the end of the day. |
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"I think the main reasons have been already mentioned but I think there is no need for it, I find cheating on a swinging site baffling to be honest.
I would put it down to emotional immaturity and stupidity. It all comes out eventually and never ends well. "
This |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"If people think most couples are more stable or secure because they swing they are wrong from a lot of the evidence I've seen
Swingers are no different to anyone else at the end of the day."
I think there is a slight difference, I agree with Hal's comment up to a point and get where your comment is coming from, a breach of trust is a breach of trust and couples regardless if they swing or not are going to encounter relationship issues that have to be worked on continuously regardless of their lifestyle choices but as upfor mentioned above it's a huge trust to open up your relationship and share your intimacy with other people so I think it's a double insult to your partner's trust in you and your relationship. |
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By *aid back OP Man
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"Hate the way people always think badly of cheaters, people cheat because they’re not happy so you should feel sorry for them, and have some compassion for them ??"
Compassion my arse. If you are in a swinging relationship and you and your partner meet others for fun there should be no need to cheat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s mainly the female part of couples that cheat here behind their partners back, I know the men do it too but they always seem to get caught lol
Do you think there are ladies on here as part of a couple but who also have their own seperate profile without the huddys knowing very naughty girls if so "
Don’t think you’d need a separate profile! When you’re on Fab ya get to know loads of people who want the same as you, bit of a quick thrill! It’s about an awakening to realize you’re more than just a wife/partner a mom the school runs etc etc it’s about getting away from reality and thinking you’re doing nothing wrong coS you’re on a swing site anyways  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate the way people always think badly of cheaters, people cheat because they’re not happy so you should feel sorry for them, and have some compassion for them ??
Compassion my arse. If you are in a swinging relationship and you and your partner meet others for fun there should be no need to cheat. "
Yes but clearly there is a Need! Cos people do it! and like doing it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate the way people always think badly of cheaters, people cheat because they’re not happy so you should feel sorry for them, and have some compassion for them ??
Compassion my arse. If you are in a swinging relationship and you and your partner meet others for fun there should be no need to cheat.
Yes but clearly there is a Need! Cos people do it! and like doing it "
Need and want are two different things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people think most couples are more stable or secure because they swing they are wrong from a lot of the evidence I've seen
Swingers are no different to anyone else at the end of the day.
I think there is a slight difference, I agree with Hal's comment up to a point and get where your comment is coming from, a breach of trust is a breach of trust and couples regardless if they swing or not are going to encounter relationship issues that have to be worked on continuously regardless of their lifestyle choices but as upfor mentioned above it's a huge trust to open up your relationship and share your intimacy with other people so I think it's a double insult to your partner's trust in you and your relationship. "
This just serves to highlight perhaps that many people get into swinging for the wrong reasons, or that for many, their trust in their partner may be misplaced. Besides which, complacency is often a huge issue in long term relationships, just because everything was fine and dandy when you started swinging, it doesn't follow that it will remain that way. |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"If people think most couples are more stable or secure because they swing they are wrong from a lot of the evidence I've seen
Swingers are no different to anyone else at the end of the day.
I think there is a slight difference, I agree with Hal's comment up to a point and get where your comment is coming from, a breach of trust is a breach of trust and couples regardless if they swing or not are going to encounter relationship issues that have to be worked on continuously regardless of their lifestyle choices but as upfor mentioned above it's a huge trust to open up your relationship and share your intimacy with other people so I think it's a double insult to your partner's trust in you and your relationship.
This just serves to highlight perhaps that many people get into swinging for the wrong reasons, or that for many, their trust in their partner may be misplaced. Besides which, complacency is often a huge issue in long term relationships, just because everything was fine and dandy when you started swinging, it doesn't follow that it will remain that way."
I agree which is why I said about issues will arise regardless of lifestyle choices and need to be continuously worked on. The point I am making is that because the relationship is opened up and communication is present that makes the breach of trust higher. This is on the basis that the couple are communicating openly and honestly. Really valid points on misplaced trust and complacency. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If people think most couples are more stable or secure because they swing they are wrong from a lot of the evidence I've seen
Swingers are no different to anyone else at the end of the day.
I think there is a slight difference, I agree with Hal's comment up to a point and get where your comment is coming from, a breach of trust is a breach of trust and couples regardless if they swing or not are going to encounter relationship issues that have to be worked on continuously regardless of their lifestyle choices but as upfor mentioned above it's a huge trust to open up your relationship and share your intimacy with other people so I think it's a double insult to your partner's trust in you and your relationship.
This just serves to highlight perhaps that many people get into swinging for the wrong reasons, or that for many, their trust in their partner may be misplaced. Besides which, complacency is often a huge issue in long term relationships, just because everything was fine and dandy when you started swinging, it doesn't follow that it will remain that way.
I agree which is why I said about issues will arise regardless of lifestyle choices and need to be continuously worked on. The point I am making is that because the relationship is opened up and communication is present that makes the breach of trust higher. This is on the basis that the couple are communicating openly and honestly. Really valid points on misplaced trust and complacency. "
Aren't all healthy relationships presumably based on respect and honesty? Not sure the breach is "higher" to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Anyway, it's a moot point, only the other partner can determine the level of betrayal they feel in any particular case of infidelity- if they ever find out. |
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By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"If people think most couples are more stable or secure because they swing they are wrong from a lot of the evidence I've seen
Swingers are no different to anyone else at the end of the day.
I think there is a slight difference, I agree with Hal's comment up to a point and get where your comment is coming from, a breach of trust is a breach of trust and couples regardless if they swing or not are going to encounter relationship issues that have to be worked on continuously regardless of their lifestyle choices but as upfor mentioned above it's a huge trust to open up your relationship and share your intimacy with other people so I think it's a double insult to your partner's trust in you and your relationship.
This just serves to highlight perhaps that many people get into swinging for the wrong reasons, or that for many, their trust in their partner may be misplaced. Besides which, complacency is often a huge issue in long term relationships, just because everything was fine and dandy when you started swinging, it doesn't follow that it will remain that way.
I agree which is why I said about issues will arise regardless of lifestyle choices and need to be continuously worked on. The point I am making is that because the relationship is opened up and communication is present that makes the breach of trust higher. This is on the basis that the couple are communicating openly and honestly. Really valid points on misplaced trust and complacency.
Aren't all healthy relationships presumably based on respect and honesty? Not sure the breach is "higher" to be honest."
I think it is in the aspect that presuming that you have a long term couple who have respect and honesty. They decide to join fab and open up their relationship and one of them breaches their trust, compared to a couple whose trust was breached in the vanilla world. Yes both are similar but I think when that level of trust is afforded in a relationship it's a harsher breach of it. My own take on it, I see your points. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate the way people always think badly of cheaters, people cheat because they’re not happy so you should feel sorry for them, and have some compassion for them ??
Compassion my arse. If you are in a swinging relationship and you and your partner meet others for fun there should be no need to cheat.
Yes but clearly there is a Need! Cos people do it! and like doing it "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This isn't about the married singles on here.
This is about the partners of couples on here together playing offside or having affairs behind their partners back without their knowledge. I don't understand it if your partner is happy to swing why do they need to play offside? "
Life has very few black and white areas OP and there could be many reasons unique to one partner why they decided in each instance to
play away in secret. We can comment here in general if we like, but none of us have a moral right to judge anyone else in a matter like this without knowing all the circumstances to be fair...but a good topic to have opene up for reflection on. |
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"This isn't about the married singles on here.
This is about the partners of couples on here together playing offside or having affairs behind their partners back without their knowledge. I don't understand it if your partner is happy to swing why do they need to play offside? "
Laid, are you equating playing separately to having an affair behind your partner's back ?! I think they are totally different things. We have both played separately on occasions, always with the other's knowledge, consent and trust... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate the way people always think badly of cheaters, people cheat because they’re not happy so you should feel sorry for them, and have some compassion for them ??"
Really? Compassion for someone who is cheating?
Surely the compassion should be for the one whose being cheated upon. Whose partner is being lied to and possibly children, who is actively willing to loose what should be of value, who is living double standards, who could end up causing a train wreck, maybe even cause illness or worse so much shame that leads to suicide of their partner.
Why have compassion for someone who is knowingly, deliberately, actively going behind the back of their partner. Sorry whether male or female, they are life, family and childen ruiners, all for the sake of a few fuck.
So please can you explain why have compassion for them or have I missed something? |
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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago
City Centre |
"This isn't about the married singles on here.
This is about the partners of couples on here together playing offside or having affairs behind their partners back without their knowledge. I don't understand it if your partner is happy to swing why do they need to play offside?
Laid, are you equating playing separately to having an affair behind your partner's back ?! I think they are totally different things. We have both played separately on occasions, always with the other's knowledge, consent and trust..."
Lots of couples play separately with each others consent I really don't think that's what Laid is talking about..
It's the couples where one person cheats behind their partners back without their consent...surely if you are in the lifestyle you are already having enough fun??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This isn't about the married singles on here.
This is about the partners of couples on here together playing offside or having affairs behind their partners back without their knowledge. I don't understand it if your partner is happy to swing why do they need to play offside?
Laid, are you equating playing separately to having an affair behind your partner's back ?! I think they are totally different things. We have both played separately on occasions, always with the other's knowledge, consent and trust...
Lots of couples play separately with each others consent I really don't think that's what Laid is talking about..
It's the couples where one person cheats behind their partners back without their consent...surely if you are in the lifestyle you are already having enough fun?? "
I don’t think it’s the lifestyle that makes people want to cheat, or need to cheat! Depends on the individual and what they think they may be missing!! The grass may be indeed greener!! |
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By *aid back OP Man
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
"This isn't about the married singles on here.
This is about the partners of couples on here together playing offside or having affairs behind their partners back without their knowledge. I don't understand it if your partner is happy to swing why do they need to play offside?
Laid, are you equating playing separately to having an affair behind your partner's back ?! I think they are totally different things. We have both played separately on occasions, always with the other's knowledge, consent and trust..."
No I'm not equating that. I'm talking about meeting people without the knowledge of the other partner |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate the way people always think badly of cheaters, people cheat because they’re not happy so you should feel sorry for them, and have some compassion for them ??
Really? Compassion for someone who is cheating?
Surely the compassion should be for the one whose being cheated upon. Whose partner is being lied to and possibly children, who is actively willing to loose what should be of value, who is living double standards, who could end up causing a train wreck, maybe even cause illness or worse so much shame that leads to suicide of their partner.
Why have compassion for someone who is knowingly, deliberately, actively going behind the back of their partner. Sorry whether male or female, they are life, family and childen ruiners, all for the sake of a few fuck.
So please can you explain why have compassion for them or have I missed something?"
Compassion because people who are happy in themselves don’t cheat, people who cheat are trying to escape from their unhappiness, it’s sooooo sad, and then they end up destroying so many life’s on the way instead of dealing with their problems at the time, running away for them or numbing them doesn’t work |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Why taking sides/compassion at all ?. Most of the time we only hear one side of the story and judge. Who are we to judge? Make your decision if you want to meet peeps in relationships or not but why judge them? There are people on this thread who have met others in relationships and yet feel to judge them. Double standards as usual....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Human sexuality is psychologically complex and quite often does not run parallel to societal ideals or expectations.
We all have different ways of thinking on a variety of topics and monogamy isn't any different when people are allowed to be open and honest .
Swinging is a massive show of respect between 2 parties to take on this lifestyle as a way of life.
People make decisions and sometimes don't fully think them through. There are different parts of the brain that deal differently with decision making.
There are a multitude of situations that might explain why someone may do something that they may not otherwise do so but ultimately ownership of what they do is more important than self righteous judgement of third parties. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hate the way people always think badly of cheaters, people cheat because they’re not happy so you should feel sorry for them, and have some compassion for them ??
Really? Compassion for someone who is cheating?
Surely the compassion should be for the one whose being cheated upon. Whose partner is being lied to and possibly children, who is actively willing to loose what should be of value, who is living double standards, who could end up causing a train wreck, maybe even cause illness or worse so much shame that leads to suicide of their partner.
Why have compassion for someone who is knowingly, deliberately, actively going behind the back of their partner. Sorry whether male or female, they are life, family and childen ruiners, all for the sake of a few fuck.
So please can you explain why have compassion for them or have I missed something?
Compassion because people who are happy in themselves don’t cheat, people who cheat are trying to escape from their unhappiness, it’s sooooo sad, and then they end up destroying so many life’s on the way instead of dealing with their problems at the time, running away for them or numbing them doesn’t work "
I get that.
I think many have lost the plot though when they side with 'fabfriends' who are clearly cheating and will cause a train wreck and defend them by saying we don't know both sides...La di da...
To those who throw up the 'we shouldn't judge' judgig us when one says they are better than another. One can still point out what's wrong without judging.
The double standards bs that's flaunted on here is more a reflection of sweeping under the carpet an issue. It'll come back and bite, maybe not the person directly who says it but maybe a close friend. Sometimes one needs to say it as it is....few on here do as it's unpopular and many like to side with the popular which is weak.
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"This isn't about the married singles on here.
This is about the partners of couples on here together playing offside or having affairs behind their partners back without their knowledge. I don't understand it if your partner is happy to swing why do they need to play offside?
"
Been in that situation its horrible I agree with you I dont get it it is cheating full stop. But I made best of bad situation and im still here  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Do you think there are ladies on here as part of a couple but who also have their own seperate profile without the huddys knowing very naughty girls if so "
My gf knows she can do that if she wants. Probably my biggest fantasy would be finding her own profile with meets I had no knowledge of. |
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