FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Not a Rant! Why so hard to meet for a Coffee!
Not a Rant! Why so hard to meet for a Coffee!
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Well a coffee,tea,water or pop is a way to see if you'd like to persue the latter you refer to  "
Most can tell they do or dont want to peruse it without meeting.
That's not a pop at you in any way....just an observation |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know it's not a pop but sound advice... but as the saying goes you shouldn't judge a book by the cover..  "
I agree and I myself,even if I didn't intialy find myself attracted to the person I was talking to I'd still meet for a coffee because why the he'll not it's just a coffee 
Unless your super busy and haven't got the time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A coffee meet would jus be to see if you get on for a further meet, if you already know you don’t want a sexy time meet then why bother?"
I see your point but if you judge someone before you meet someone then it's like judging a book by its cover. I tend not to do that myself...  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Just a thought as to why it's become so hard to grab a coffee....  "
It’s simple. It’s a privacy thing. You meet a nice lady, she suggests a coffee. You pop off to Starbucks. She gets a nice table and you walk down with two cups. On reading the name on the cups she soon discovers your not PussyDistoryer but actually Cecil.
No one needs that now do they? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *iffaWoman
over a year ago
wherever |
"A coffee meet would jus be to see if you get on for a further meet, if you already know you don’t want a sexy time meet then why bother?
I see your point but if you judge someone before you meet someone then it's like judging a book by its cover. I tend not to do that myself... "
For some thecover is important though. If they don’t like the cover they don’t want to read the whole book |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Maybe after a few messages they decide ur not for them. Ppl dont have plenty of time on their hands for those coffee meets they already know wont go anywhere. Some of us have to use our free time wisely  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It’s simple. It’s a privacy thing. You meet a nice lady, she suggests a coffee. You pop off to Starbucks. She gets a nice table and you walk down with two cups. On reading the name on the cups she soon discovers your not PussyDistoryer but actually Cecil.
No one needs that now do they? "
Would Starbucks maybe write PussyDestroyer on the cup if he asked nicely ? Cecil could remain anonymous. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Ah here.
Would you post on Facebook how hard it is to get a date?
No one owes anyone anything on here.
And judging a book by its cover I'm gonna assume means a lady decides she doesn't wanna sleep with you based on your pics or appearance??
It's fabswingers not one true love dot com
I'm a bloke and I can decide from a mail or two weather it's gonna happen so for a women it's probably a lot quicker.
Have you any idea how many mails a woman gets her a day.
The ratio of men to women is insane.
So if you don't do well with rejection your in the wrong place.
And ps posting in the public forum how hard it is to meet someone is not gonna do you any favours either |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ah here.
Would you post on Facebook how hard it is to get a date?
No one owes anyone anything on here.
And judging a book by its cover I'm gonna assume means a lady decides she doesn't wanna sleep with you based on your pics or appearance??
It's fabswingers not one true love dot com
I'm a bloke and I can decide from a mail or two weather it's gonna happen so for a women it's probably a lot quicker.
Have you any idea how many mails a woman gets her a day.
The ratio of men to women is insane.
So if you don't do well with rejection your in the wrong place.
And ps posting in the public forum how hard it is to meet someone is not gonna do you any favours either "
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ah here.
Would you post on Facebook how hard it is to get a date?
No one owes anyone anything on here.
And judging a book by its cover I'm gonna assume means a lady decides she doesn't wanna sleep with you based on your pics or appearance??
It's fabswingers not one true love dot com
I'm a bloke and I can decide from a mail or two weather it's gonna happen so for a women it's probably a lot quicker.
Have you any idea how many mails a woman gets her a day.
The ratio of men to women is insane.
So if you don't do well with rejection your in the wrong place.
And ps posting in the public forum how hard it is to meet someone is not gonna do you any favours either "
Well said |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
"Just a thought as to why it's become so hard to grab a coffee....
It’s simple. It’s a privacy thing. You meet a nice lady, she suggests a coffee. You pop off to Starbucks. She gets a nice table and you walk down with two cups. On reading the name on the cups she soon discovers your not PussyDistoryer but actually Cecil.
No one needs that now do they? "
Cecil the pussy destroyer just doesn't have a fab ring to it |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I do like a social meet for sure as it gives me an insight to a person face to face. People are brave behind screens but not so good face to face they get caught out of stuff lol . I know when I meet socially whether I want to fuck for sure or not but I don't always have time for it. Hate taking risks as they nearly always end in disister.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ah here.
Would you post on Facebook how hard it is to get a date?
No one owes anyone anything on here.
And judging a book by its cover I'm gonna assume means a lady decides she doesn't wanna sleep with you based on your pics or appearance??
It's fabswingers not one true love dot com
I'm a bloke and I can decide from a mail or two weather it's gonna happen so for a women it's probably a lot quicker.
Have you any idea how many mails a woman gets her a day.
The ratio of men to women is insane.
So if you don't do well with rejection your in the wrong place.
And ps posting in the public forum how hard it is to meet someone is not gonna do you any favours either "
That should be good enough to get you a shag. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can only speak for myself and from personal experience obviously, but I no longer meet anyone for 1-1 coffee... someone mentioned judging books by covers, but when you repeatedly find yourself sitting drinking coffee with people who's cover (and even content) absolutely does not match what was advertised online, it becomes extremely disheartening. Free time is precious to me and I'd rather spend it with someone I already know to be what I want than have coffee with yet another 'maybe'. The only way I meet new people now is at social events... and thats worked out just perfectly for me |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do like a social meet for sure as it gives me an insight to a person face to face. People are brave behind screens but not so good face to face they get caught out of stuff lol . I know when I meet socially whether I want to fuck for sure or not but I don't always have time for it. Hate taking risks as they nearly always end in disister. "
Sounds sensible to me. Until you meet someone face to face then it is a snap judgement, in my opinion.
I've no problems getting a date which will lead to sex, but that may be less adventurous sex. That's ok but can be boring.
As to meet and greet, I've no problems going to one but not everyone drinks, being at a keen and greet and not drinking can make you feel as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I do like a social meet for sure as it gives me an insight to a person face to face. People are brave behind screens but not so good face to face they get caught out of stuff lol . I know when I meet socially whether I want to fuck for sure or not but I don't always have time for it. Hate taking risks as they nearly always end in disister.
Sounds sensible to me. Until you meet someone face to face then it is a snap judgement, in my opinion.
I've no problems getting a date which will lead to sex, but that may be less adventurous sex. That's ok but can be boring.
As to meet and greet, I've no problems going to one but not everyone drinks, being at a keen and greet and not drinking can make you feel as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit "
About "feeling as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit" at a meet and great cause you don't drink, is nothing to do with the other people there making you feel welcome or not. Thats your preception, or social insecurities. Trust us, No one judges you cause you are not drinking, we understand not everyone is comfortable in these enviourments. We love the whole pre party/meet nerves, the pre party preperation, picking outfits, showering, grooming, creaming, prefuming and everything else that goes with it, We know loads of people on here who don't drink at parties or socials and still mingle, socialise and play with no issues. Ourselves included, we don't go to fab parties to drink  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It may be a perception but it's not just a m and g thing. It's in the Irish pub culture that there is a mistrust of the person not drinking.. I know I've spent enough time in pubs and parties on both sides. I worked as a DJ for 20 years plus so I know what I'm talking about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ah here.
Would you post on Facebook how hard it is to get a date?
No one owes anyone anything on here.
And judging a book by its cover I'm gonna assume means a lady decides she doesn't wanna sleep with you based on your pics or appearance??
It's fabswingers not one true love dot com
I'm a bloke and I can decide from a mail or two weather it's gonna happen so for a women it's probably a lot quicker.
Have you any idea how many mails a woman gets her a day.
The ratio of men to women is insane.
So if you don't do well with rejection your in the wrong place.
And ps posting in the public forum how hard it is to meet someone is not gonna do you any favours either "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Everyone here bar the occasional have no intention of ever meeting anyone.
It's just theway it is here and all the other sites, endless bullshit and no fun"
Have you taking in to account the numbers here.at present moment its 85 women to 300 mail.
Now most people have a life a job a family away from fab
In fairness the women would have to drink a lot of coffee to keep yee all happy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Everyone here bar the occasional have no intention of ever meeting anyone.
It's just theway it is here and all the other sites, endless bullshit and no fun
Have you taking in to account the numbers here.at present moment its 85 women to 300 mail.
Now most people have a life a job a family away from fab
In fairness the women would have to drink a lot of coffee to keep yee all happy "
I don't think there's enough coffee in the world right now lol
I think I'll start hording it lpl |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do like a social meet for sure as it gives me an insight to a person face to face. People are brave behind screens but not so good face to face they get caught out of stuff lol . I know when I meet socially whether I want to fuck for sure or not but I don't always have time for it. Hate taking risks as they nearly always end in disister.
Sounds sensible to me. Until you meet someone face to face then it is a snap judgement, in my opinion.
I've no problems getting a date which will lead to sex, but that may be less adventurous sex. That's ok but can be boring.
As to meet and greet, I've no problems going to one but not everyone drinks, being at a keen and greet and not drinking can make you feel as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit "
I go to m&g’s parties and other small socials and more often than not don’t drink. I’ve never felt out of place because I wasnt drinking...
just sayin like.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do like a social meet for sure as it gives me an insight to a person face to face. People are brave behind screens but not so good face to face they get caught out of stuff lol . I know when I meet socially whether I want to fuck for sure or not but I don't always have time for it. Hate taking risks as they nearly always end in disister.
Sounds sensible to me. Until you meet someone face to face then it is a snap judgement, in my opinion.
I've no problems getting a date which will lead to sex, but that may be less adventurous sex. That's ok but can be boring.
As to meet and greet, I've no problems going to one but not everyone drinks, being at a keen and greet and not drinking can make you feel as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit
I go to m&g’s parties and other small socials and more often than not don’t drink. I’ve never felt out of place because I wasnt drinking...
just sayin like.
"
Fair enough.... but you do have some positive attributes lol (nice work by the way) but it's not just down to M&G's. It's a thing in Irish culture that the non drinker is generally viewed as odd... As in " what do you mean you don't drink" even in work doos the sober one always gets the goss from the night before. I've heard this discussed almost every year just before lent. Usually on the radio or more resently on the likes of the Tonight show on tv3. It's a thing I tell ya lol... just saying |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can only speak for myself but I wouldn’t meet you for a coffee
You haven’t put any effort into your picture and Your profile reads like the women of fab owe you something.
I only consider meeting guys who are recently verified by someone I know or who have verifications from an event or party , you have one verification which is a year old .
This is purely a safety thing for me I like active members of the community, means there is less chance of them being a nutter . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Also just to add I’ve been to several events where the majority of people aren’t drinking or drinking very little . Lots of prople go and don’t drink at all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If it’s meet and greets - people are usually driving
You de need a mortgage for a hotel room in double these days esp if your a single going "
Unless some nice lady drives you to the club |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I can only speak for myself but I wouldn’t meet you for a coffee
You haven’t put any effort into your picture and Your profile reads like the women of fab owe you something.
I only consider meeting guys who are recently verified by someone I know or who have verifications from an event or party , you have one verification which is a year old .
This is purely a safety thing for me I like active members of the community, means there is less chance of them being a nutter . "
Just because I only have one verification showing and it's a year old doesn't mean I'm a nutter... it simply means I have not been active. Maybe I have been in a long term monogamous relationship. That accounts for the gap. It also means I don't sleep with the whole site, Good for those who do well done... go you.. I've no problem send someone I connect with a pic I've nowt to hide and I am certainly not releying on this to get laid.. I here simply to meet like minded people. Those who judge people soley on a profile pic or a few words on the profile says more about them than the profile... in my opinion anyway |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I can only speak for myself but I wouldn’t meet you for a coffee
You haven’t put any effort into your picture and Your profile reads like the women of fab owe you something.
I only consider meeting guys who are recently verified by someone I know or who have verifications from an event or party , you have one verification which is a year old .
This is purely a safety thing for me I like active members of the community, means there is less chance of them being a nutter .
Just because I only have one verification showing and it's a year old doesn't mean I'm a nutter... it simply means I have not been active. Maybe I have been in a long term monogamous relationship. That accounts for the gap. It also means I don't sleep with the whole site, Good for those who do well done... go you.. I've no problem send someone I connect with a pic I've nowt to hide and I am certainly not releying on this to get laid.. I here simply to meet like minded people. Those who judge people soley on a profile pic or a few words on the profile says more about them than the profile... in my opinion anyway "
You ask why it was hard to get a coffee meet I gave you my opinion on it .
Insinuating I sleep with the whole site and trying to shame me for it when you know absolutely nothing about me because you didn’t like the answer you got is just plain nasty
This is an internet site for meeting people of course you will be judged on your profile it’s how you present yourself to other members |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think you'll find i didn't suggest you slept with the whole site... and I didn't suggest that if anyone did it was a bad thing.. hence the General "go you" is a well know way to congratulate someone, it's certainly not a dis to anyone. In fact if it was trying to judge someone it would go against the point I was making about being judged....
And as you said eairler that you wouldn't go for coffee with me,(I think I remember you posting that ), I don't recall asking but thanks for the clarification. Happy out |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It a not attitude.. it's base on responses. I have no issues with anyone on here. Just because I respond to someone judging my profile and staying they wouldn't meet me, I didn't ask to meet... again a response to them. I asked about meeting for a coffee not a Profile Analysis and breakdown of my life and times bases on a profile.
Everything I said was my opinion not a statement of fact. I don't see how that's attitude, I'm allowed do answer assumaioms stated about me if I feel they are way off the mark.
After all I asked about coffee not sex, marriage and a white picket fence it's a coffee... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A coffee meet would jus be to see if you get on for a further meet, if you already know you don’t want a sexy time meet then why bother?
I see your point but if you judge someone before you meet someone then it's like judging a book by its cover. I tend not to do that myself...
For some thecover is important though. If they don’t like the cover they don’t want to read the whole book"
Best reply ever!!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"A coffee meet would jus be to see if you get on for a further meet, if you already know you don’t want a sexy time meet then why bother?
I see your point but if you judge someone before you meet someone then it's like judging a book by its cover. I tend not to do that myself...
For some thecover is important though. If they don’t like the cover they don’t want to read the whole book"
I'd say a sizable majority are here for an impressive book cover rather than content, both would be great though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adame BWoman
over a year ago
C'est moi Boudoir |
Op this is a swinging site full of strangers who chat, read profiles, look at verifications and pictures to get an idea of a person before agreeing to go for a coffee (which is another part of the process of figuring out connection as well as safety) it's not aimed at you personally, these are people posting our opinions on how we fab in response to your putting up a thread wondering why it's hard to get a coffee meet. That's a process but on top of that women do have safety concerns as well as being inundated with mails requesting coffee daily. I personally don't have the time nor the inclination to go for coffee like that so do most of my introductions at socials which saves time. People are very inclusive and chatty at the socials regardless of what is in your glass. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Fair point. However, there where some posts that seemed to be aimed directly. I understand that the ratio is swayed heavily in a possible 70/30 or even 80/20 in favour of men to women but civility cost nothing in my opinion. Just because there are some crackpots, not limited to men btw, is still no reason to make a general judgement as some have.
I also think if some think if someone posts something critical directly aimed at someone then they have the right to reply without being told that it's "attitude", in my option if you are going criticise someone you have to accept that they may call you out on that same critical comment is it BS.
Not aimed at anyone, it's my opinion. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Having been shown by a woman on here how many mails they get a day I was suddenly less shocked by the lack of replies.
You take your chances and send the message anyway. They might have time to read it, like what they read and see on your profile. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fair point. However, there where some posts that seemed to be aimed directly. I understand that the ratio is swayed heavily in a possible 70/30 or even 80/20 in favour of men to women but civility cost nothing in my opinion. Just because there are some crackpots, not limited to men btw, is still no reason to make a general judgement as some have.
I also think if some think if someone posts something critical directly aimed at someone then they have the right to reply without being told that it's "attitude", in my option if you are going criticise someone you have to accept that they may call you out on that same critical comment is it BS.
Not aimed at anyone, it's my opinion."
sure everyone gave their "opinion" u decided their OPINION was A CRITICISE. MY OPINION is that u do come across as having an attitude and to be fair it is ur thread so of course the replies are for u.. maybe u should read ur bio and stick with that and except the fact like most of us do there u are not what some are looking for. it happens to us all OP. If ur into no drama and understand ur not everyones cup why are u airing ur annoyance on the forums..
these kinda threads just exasperate me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fair point. However, there where some posts that seemed to be aimed directly. I understand that the ratio is swayed heavily in a possible 70/30 or even 80/20 in favour of men to women but civility cost nothing in my opinion. Just because there are some crackpots, not limited to men btw, is still no reason to make a general judgement as some have.
I also think if some think if someone posts something critical directly aimed at someone then they have the right to reply without being told that it's "attitude", in my option if you are going criticise someone you have to accept that they may call you out on that same critical comment is it BS.
Not aimed at anyone, it's my opinion.
sure everyone gave their "opinion" u decided their OPINION was A CRITICISE. MY OPINION is that u do come across as having an attitude and to be fair it is ur thread so of course the replies are for u.. maybe u should read ur bio and stick with that and except the fact like most of us do there u are not what some are looking for. it happens to us all OP. If ur into no drama and understand ur not everyones cup why are u airing ur annoyance on the forums..
these kinda threads just exasperate me."
So then what attitude do I have?
And I know the bio it's all my own work...
And I would also ask when did I actually say I was annoyed... I asked a question I don't remember saying I was annoyed, in fact the opening title kinda stated that " Not a Rant" was the preface to the question... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
