FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Asking for a friend. ;))

Asking for a friend. ;))

By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

Chatting to a friend of mine over the weekend and the conversation of sex came up. (IMAGINE)The question is....

If you met someone and really liked them enough to consider a relationship with, but they weren't into sex as much as you ..... would you... 1.Commit to the relationship.

2.Commit with the idea of trying to change there sexual outlook.

3. Leave it and continue to have sex with like minded kinky people.

Interested in the opinions of others??

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Number 2 commit with the look of changing there view in it. If you like the person enough to think you would like a relationship it’s definitly worth a shot at least. Need to up front about it and not let It just become the norm or you won’t be happy

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Chatting to a friend of mine over the weekend and the conversation of sex came up. (IMAGINE)The question is....

If you met someone and really liked them enough to consider a relationship with, but they weren't into sex as much as you ..... would you... 1.Commit to the relationship.

2.Commit with the idea of trying to change there sexual outlook.

3. Leave it and continue to have sex with like minded kinky people.

Interested in the opinions of others??

Ok one would have to ask the question why they weren’t into sex

1. Why commit to a relationship that ultimately wouldn’t fulfil your needs and wants

2. If it could Be changed great

3. If you didnt think it would make you happy then continue with like minded kinky people

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unless you're willing to accept the person as they are, its a huge mistake in my book to get into a committed relationship.

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

I think the question was ..not into sex as much as you. Not everyone has a high sex drive. I kinda like sex a lot.

This is a hypothetical question.

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"Unless you're willing to accept the person as they are, its a huge mistake in my book to get into a committed relationship.

That was my thinking.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think it would cause friction in the relationship so for me it would be better to stay friends

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I think it would cause friction in the relationship so for me it would be better to stay friends"

It could alright...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

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By *oghunter33Woman over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

At this stage of my life I'd happily stay away from it - no 3

My prediction is that no 1 will get cracks rather sooner than later and No 2 unlikely that you change a person's attitude towards sex

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is"

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???"

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???"

Not necessarily, low sex drive has many causes and sex drive naturally ebbs and flows with other factors influencing it.

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much"

From past experience I find some people do have a certain kink but don't have the sex drive. But I like to think that you should be able to discuss your kinks with a partner. If it's not for you then find something you both like. But if one person likes sex a lot and often *coughs ahemm* and the other doesn't, then there s a problem..don't you think

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By *eanbelfastMan over a year ago

Belfast

You can’t commit to someone and fall for them if from the start you are thinking of changing them. What ever we want from someone else it’s a series needs and I’d say if they had a low sex drive then they wouldn’t be compatible with most on here and that’s not even taking into accounts some of the kinks. The chemistry has to be there and that means not just the mental chemistry but sexual chemistry. Good luck to your friend

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"You can’t commit to someone and fall for them if from the start you are thinking of changing them. What ever we want from someone else it’s a series needs and I’d say if they had a low sex drive then they wouldn’t be compatible with most on here and that’s not even taking into accounts some of the kinks. The chemistry has to be there and that means not just the mental chemistry but sexual chemistry. Good luck to your friend"

It's just a hypothetical question Sean. But an interesting topic I think. Kept myself and my friend chatting for hours.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

If its very big then yes it wluld be a problem.. I just think for me personally if I did quite like the person then vanilla sex or less sex wouldnt be a dealbreaker unless it was practically non existant

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By *eanbelfastMan over a year ago

Belfast

It's just a hypothetical question Sean. But an interesting topic I think. Kept myself and my friend chatting for hours. "

It’s a good question and am sure to could talk for ages on it as it leads to so many other questions but sure aren’t those the start of a great nights chat. What if it were great sex but they were a terrible kisser?

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now. "

Well then its a big no for you(unless you have room for an extension for a toy garage).

Hypothetically I think I could be in a relationship with less sex.. sparse maybe not

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now.

Well then its a big no for you(unless you have room for an extension for a toy garage).

Hypothetically I think I could be in a relationship with less sex.. sparse maybe not

I've plans for my garage too...

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It is an interesting topic and so much to debate on it. I would have to go for option 3 but only as I learned the hard way that if trying to change a relationship early on only leads to alot of arguments and tension in the long run.

As you said you have your toy cupboard and couldn't go back, as I am the same...but don't have a cupboard

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By *andsomeman100Man over a year ago

Ah sure now...

I think I would not pursue the relationship if it was clear our sex drives didnt match. Call me idealistic, but I believe relationships should tick all the boxes. Sex is a hugely important part of any relationship and each should feel sexually fulfilled. Whatever about sex drives changing later on after you are committed, this is a challenge but managable...a problem like this up front is a real problem.

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"It is an interesting topic and so much to debate on it. I would have to go for option 3 but only as I learned the hard way that if trying to change a relationship early on only leads to alot of arguments and tension in the long run.

As you said you have your toy cupboard and couldn't go back, as I am the same...but don't have a cupboard

Build it .... they will come...lol...

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I think I would not pursue the relationship if it was clear our sex drives didnt match. Call me idealistic, but I believe relationships should tick all the boxes. Sex is a hugely important part of any relationship and each should feel sexually fulfilled. Whatever about sex drives changing later on after you are committed, this is a challenge but managable...a problem like this up front is a real problem."

Even if the person was everything else you were looking for in a partner?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now.

Well then its a big no for you(unless you have room for an extension for a toy garage).

Hypothetically I think I could be in a relationship with less sex.. sparse maybe not

I've plans for my garage too...

oh do let me know when thats ready

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

As you said you have your toy cupboard and couldn't go back, as I am the same...but don't have a cupboard

Build it .... they will come...lol...

Ha I started with nothing and is building beautifully

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now.

Well then its a big no for you(unless you have room for an extension for a toy garage).

Hypothetically I think I could be in a relationship with less sex.. sparse maybe not

I've plans for my garage too...

oh do let me know when thats ready"

Are you handy with your hands

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

As you said you have your toy cupboard and couldn't go back, as I am the same...but don't have a cupboard

Build it .... they will come...lol...

Ha I started with nothing and is building beautifully

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now.

Well then its a big no for you(unless you have room for an extension for a toy garage).

Hypothetically I think I could be in a relationship with less sex.. sparse maybe not

I've plans for my garage too...

oh do let me know when thats ready

Are you handy with your hands

There is only one way for you to find that out

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now.

Well then its a big no for you(unless you have room for an extension for a toy garage).

Hypothetically I think I could be in a relationship with less sex.. sparse maybe not

I've plans for my garage too...

oh do let me know when thats ready

Are you handy with your hands

There is only one way for you to find that out

Well....have you got tools? I got rid of all the tools in my life

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is were my problem lies id like a relationship but finding sumone that likes sex and lots of it in vanilla world is hard . But if sex isnt good i wouldnt try make it work .

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now.

Well then its a big no for you(unless you have room for an extension for a toy garage).

Hypothetically I think I could be in a relationship with less sex.. sparse maybe not

I've plans for my garage too...

oh do let me know when thats ready

Are you handy with your hands

There is only one way for you to find that out

Well....have you got tools? I got rid of all the tools in my life

No but I am sure we could smack in a few nails with your toys

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now.

Well then its a big no for you(unless you have room for an extension for a toy garage).

Hypothetically I think I could be in a relationship with less sex.. sparse maybe not

I've plans for my garage too...

oh do let me know when thats ready

Are you handy with your hands

There is only one way for you to find that out

Well....have you got tools? I got rid of all the tools in my life

No but I am sure we could smack in a few nails with your toys"

See that's forward thinking...I like that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

It's just a hypothetical question Sean. But an interesting topic I think. Kept myself and my friend chatting for hours.

I would never know if the sex was outstanding if the kissing wasn't great.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I am a big fan of the sexy times.... saying that if we were compatable in all other i portant areas I think I would consider it...

Obviously this depends on just how big the gap in sex drive is

I don't know what id worry about most... the sex drive or how vanilla they were. I guess if the sex drive was low it wouldn't be very kinky???

I don't know if sex drive and kink are related? The probably are but I have had vanilla partners who still had high sex drives..

I mean if your sexual preferences dont match then thats a bit different than them just not liking sex as much

Not to sit on the dildo topped fence but I guess it all depends on the size of the difference between your friend

and the other person.

It's a hypothetical question but both of us have had relationships where sex was very sparce. That's why my toy box turned into a toy cupboard.

. I couldn't go back to that kind of relationship now.

Well then its a big no for you(unless you have room for an extension for a toy garage).

Hypothetically I think I could be in a relationship with less sex.. sparse maybe not

I've plans for my garage too...

oh do let me know when thats ready

Are you handy with your hands

There is only one way for you to find that out

Well....have you got tools? I got rid of all the tools in my life

No but I am sure we could smack in a few nails with your toys

See that's forward thinking...I like that.

See I can use both heads

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

" Chatting to a friend of mine over the weekend and the conversation of sex came up. (IMAGINE)The question is....

If you met someone and really liked them enough to consider a relationship with, but they weren't into sex as much as you ..... would you... 1.Commit to the relationship.

2.Commit with the idea of trying to change there sexual outlook.

3. Leave it and continue to have sex with like minded kinky people.

Interested in the opinions of others??

I think number 2, it could work if she was open minded and willing to experiment. But I do find dull sex can kill a relationship in the beginning.. but then again I am young and a bit of a commitmentphobe

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By *ir1967Man over a year ago

in da sticks, london, amsterdam, madrid

i would chose option 3.

Option 1 i would be unhappy to chain myself, there is no one in the world worth to sacrisfies my own happiness, eventually this would lead to negative moods impacting the relationship

Option 2 , everyone is his/her own master. If the sex drive between the two potential spouses is a mismatch , i guess there is no point to pursue the relationship . I cannot see the point to try to change someone to meet my needs. That actually degrades the other one to a subject . Either the other changes on his/her own intend or not at all

So option three appears most reasonable to me

but that’s just me

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By *j47Man over a year ago

limerick

As you said you have your toy cupboard and couldn't go back, as I am the same...but don't have a cupboard

Build it .... they will come...lol...

Amateurs

Dorian grey had a play room

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If she did anal, gave bjs and was up for sex 3-4 times a week I'd be happy. Sex everyday isn't for me unless they were happy with the odd quicky

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By *iroma2010Man over a year ago

Blackrock

Call me old school but number 3.

Not worth going into unless you think you can sacrifice sex to be with them

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By *easingTimMan over a year ago

Loughlinstown

It can be frustrating when one person has a much higher sex drive than the other

Grrrrr (damn ex)...

Personally though I'd find out what turns her on and push her a little in that direction... whether it's the need for regular complimemts, more romance or extended foreplay before she is in the mood to enjoy sex

However, if someone has some hang ups about their body size/shape or around sex, that's a more serious matter that he/she may need to get outside help with...

Clear communication is key for any relationship though

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By *ornyandwellhungMan over a year ago

belfast

" Chatting to a friend of mine over the weekend and the conversation of sex came up. (IMAGINE)The question is....

If you met someone and really liked them enough to consider a relationship with, but they weren't into sex as much as you ..... would you... 1.Commit to the relationship.

2.Commit with the idea of trying to change there sexual outlook.

3. Leave it and continue to have sex with like minded kinky people.

Interested in the opinions of others??

Big blonde, how many times a week or per day is your appetite? Would you say you’re a petite is average or above average?

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By *oxminxCouple over a year ago

Portlaoise

Avoid at all costs and continue the journey till ur friend finds that special someone who requires no changing to compliment ur lifestyle choices...

From both our previous experiences, expecting people to change only ends up with both people stressed and unhappy.

Tell ur pal to just be who they are and be what makes them happy.

Good luck to all in that kind of situation as its no fun

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By *oo32Man over a year ago

tipperary

Go for it with the person...it may work out...it may not....nothing ventured..nothing gained

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

As you said you have your toy cupboard and couldn't go back, as I am the same...but don't have a cupboard

Build it .... they will come...lol...

Amateurs

Dorian grey had a play room

Christian Grey is a pussy!!

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

" Chatting to a friend of mine over the weekend and the conversation of sex came up. (IMAGINE)The question is....

If you met someone and really liked them enough to consider a relationship with, but they weren't into sex as much as you ..... would you... 1.Commit to the relationship.

2.Commit with the idea of trying to change there sexual outlook.

3. Leave it and continue to have sex with like minded kinky people.

Interested in the opinions of others??

Big blonde, how many times a week or per day is your appetite? Would you say you’re a petite is average or above average?

It's not for me to say what my average is , just let's say I like sex a lot.

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By *j47Man over a year ago

limerick

As you said you have your toy cupboard and couldn't go back, as I am the same...but don't have a cupboard

Build it .... they will come...lol...

Amateurs

Dorian grey had a play room

Christian Grey is a pussy!!"

A pussy with a play room did u see that spanking bench solid mahogany it was

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By *igBlondeDomme OP Woman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

As you said you have your toy cupboard and couldn't go back, as I am the same...but don't have a cupboard

Build it .... they will come...lol...

Amateurs

Dorian grey had a play room

Christian Grey is a pussy!!

A pussy with a play room did u see that spanking bench solid mahogany it was

Haven't seen any of the movies but heard he had good wood....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

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By *hocko87Man over a year ago

dublin

One partner with a low sex drive and the other with a high sex drive can be trouble I think . But sometimes luv can keep you together but you won't be able to change people . I think it would end up in trouble . That's just my thinking

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By *hocko87Man over a year ago

dublin

It to hard to change peoples attitude towards sex and a low sex drive and high sex drive won't fit together ever . It would be a massive mistake to try it out . I would have to have a partner with a high sex drive myself.

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By *oftgentle123Man over a year ago

Letterkenny

If its not right from the start it will never be right. Move on to someone that has it all

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By *innie The MinxWoman over a year ago

Under the Duvet

"Unless you're willing to accept the person as they are, its a huge mistake in my book to get into a committed relationship.

Agree with this 100%

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By *andsomeman100Man over a year ago

Ah sure now...

Even if the person was everything else you were looking for in a partner?"

Its a tough one, but a matching outlook on sex is very important...so I'd be leaning towards yes - even if everything else was fantastic, it would be like getting 5 numbers i the euro millons.

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