FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Why do men have to make 99% of conversation?
Why do men have to make 99% of conversation?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I know I sound like such a whinger but about a year ago I was really enjoying meeting adventurous likeminded women. Now it just feels like an ego booster for women who seem to think they’re above you whilst retaining a personality similar to that of a bratty15 year old girl.
I completely understand why many have become blunt or irritated by the constant flow of messages from single males, but what confuses me is the individual women who iniate contact first and then expect me to ask them question after question.
To all the ladies who are the opposite and enjoy talking away, i apologies for lumping you all together!
So, as the title states, why do men have to make a majority of the effort?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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it's a supply issue man, there's about 10 guys for every woman on here at the best of times.
also to be fair if I was getting 10-100 messages a day like some of the women on here it'd probably mess with my ego a bit too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"it's a supply issue man, there's about 10 guys for every woman on here at the best of times.
also to be fair if I was getting 10-100 messages a day like some of the women on here it'd probably mess with my ego a bit too. "
Yeh I’m aware of the shitty ratio on here. Also, I feel a lot of dickheads have ruined the atmosphere of fab by being creeps in general. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The man / woman ratio is no excuse for ignorance though in fairness! Anyone with an inflated sense of entitlement that feel you have to do all the work to impress them, due mainly to the fact that there is the imbalance in quantity on here, is not someone you should be bothered making an effort with in my opinion |
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"The man / woman ratio is no excuse for ignorance though in fairness! Anyone with an inflated sense of entitlement that feel you have to do all the work to impress them, due mainly to the fact that there is the imbalance in quantity on here, is not someone you should be bothered making an effort with in my opinion"
Exactly ... move on |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The man / woman ratio is no excuse for ignorance though in fairness! Anyone with an inflated sense of entitlement that feel you have to do all the work to impress them, due mainly to the fact that there is the imbalance in quantity on here, is not someone you should be bothered making an effort with in my opinion
Exactly ... move on"
Would you say that it’s better meeting peeps in the forums instead? |
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We reply to every message where we can, with her she’s not into guys endless messages and things like “Mmmmmmmm, I’m going to eat your pussy for hours”. If she’s going to meet she’ll arrange it quickly and if she’s not meeting there will be no conversation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree totally with the ratio of men to women and hundreds of messages each day,I also understand when texting a female it feels like with some of them they have no interest as it's the man driving the conversation,and make little effort but that's the way of fab! If they ain't interested they should state it in the 1st mail if they reply and then both can move on lol  |
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If someone sends me a pathetic attempt at starting a conversation I either delete it or if I'm bored I'll answer back with the same enthusiasm.
Him: How r u
Me: good
Him: wat u doin
Me: nothing
Haha, it doesn't take long before they get annoyed and say, You don't have much to say for yourself!! If someone puts in reasonable effort I will respond with a bit of effort as well |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone sends me a pathetic attempt at starting a conversation I either delete it or if I'm bored I'll answer back with the same enthusiasm.
Him: How r u
Me: good
Him: wat u doin
Me: nothing
Haha, it doesn't take long before they get annoyed and say, You don't have much to say for yourself!! If someone puts in reasonable effort I will respond with a bit of effort as well "
I can hands down say that my conversations are more colourful than your example. I’ve even had someone add me as a friend and then go quiet when I try to start a chat. Kinda wish I was Mel Gibson in “what women want” right now. |
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..vote with your feet as they say..either you need to accept this very common issue and suck it up...or stop having conversations that are one way and ultimately futile.
...fab never changes...accept that and you finds its shortfalls easier to accept.. |
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"If someone sends me a pathetic attempt at starting a conversation I either delete it or if I'm bored I'll answer back with the same enthusiasm.
Him: How r u
Me: good
Him: wat u doin
Me: nothing
Haha, it doesn't take long before they get annoyed and say, You don't have much to say for yourself!! If someone puts in reasonable effort I will respond with a bit of effort as well
I can hands down say that my conversations are more colourful than your example. I’ve even had someone add me as a friend and then go quiet when I try to start a chat. Kinda wish I was Mel Gibson in “what women want” right now."
Ah that was a class movie though near drove Mel Gibson insane  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I suppose if a chat is not flowing its time to move on. I also think if someone is genuinely interested they'll chat for a while. I have a problem with chats stopping dead without explanation (which wpuld be just mannerly) and getting a reply 2 days later omg |
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Why do you feel like this op?
" hi how are you" "how was your day"...who the fuck cares its over move on .....booooring...
Keep things interesting..
I mean you gotta pique my interest...as do I to get yours...the couple of first emails are always the hardest but can sometimes be the wittiest.
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I use to reply to all messages whether it was a no thank you or continue the conversation. Now to be honest I've filters up like barbed wire. Why??? Because a simple no thank you got me threatened, abused and called all the names under the sun. Im down to earth , NOT up my own arse and no " notions but because of this I don't reply to most because it's not worth the hassle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if they were interested obviously it woukd flow couldn't be dealing with it dropping and picking it up a few days later  women and men can be strange but you gotta love the female body |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That's just disgraceful and sickening to think there's actually ppl here who would verbally abuse someone and threaten them as well,it's the sad truth tho I guess it does happen filtered up like a mo-fo is the way to go |
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"Had this too.
Seems to be I have to do all the chatting. Feels like pulling teeth. Was always me saying hello. "
If I’ve been interested in the person it’s me who says hello. If I’m not really interested in meeting but think the person is nice I’ll still chat but wouldn’t go out of my way to keep in touch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not chatting for other reasons but before if I replied with a no thanks it invited why not? You didn't even give me a chance etc etc or abuse so then I just stopped replying.
And if it's a "hi how are you" type message then that's just dull. I would say continue using the forums OP and see if someone interesting crops up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When women say "hi how are you texts" don't do it what do they actually expect? A new joke sent to each woman each time? It's not just fab, all dating sites have women saying that too and guess what? Over the 3-4 yrs I've used dating sites and the few months ives used this 99.9% of first contact from a woman has been hi or hey. I even got those texts from women that stated they won't reply to those texts. I just think men in general are better at first contact than women want to admit but they're usually so overwhelmed with texts that they think they can start telling people to write essays, limericks, novels and poems or they won't reply. They will still reply to hi how are you if they like you. |
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"When women say "hi how are you texts" don't do it what do they actually expect? A new joke sent to each woman each time? It's not just fab, all dating sites have women saying that too and guess what? Over the 3-4 yrs I've used dating sites and the few months ives used this 99.9% of first contact from a woman has been hi or hey. I even got those texts from women that stated they won't reply to those texts. I just think men in general are better at first contact than women want to admit but they're usually so overwhelmed with texts that they think they can start telling people to write essays, limericks, novels and poems or they won't reply. They will still reply to hi how are you if they like you. "
excellent post young man.
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"When women say "hi how are you texts" don't do it what do they actually expect? A new joke sent to each woman each time? It's not just fab, all dating sites have women saying that too and guess what? Over the 3-4 yrs I've used dating sites and the few months ives used this 99.9% of first contact from a woman has been hi or hey. I even got those texts from women that stated they won't reply to those texts. I just think men in general are better at first contact than women want to admit but they're usually so overwhelmed with texts that they think they can start telling people to write essays, limericks, novels and poems or they won't reply. They will still reply to hi how are you if they like you. "
How could anyone be intrigued or know they like someone from How r u? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When women say "hi how are you texts" don't do it what do they actually expect? A new joke sent to each woman each time? It's not just fab, all dating sites have women saying that too and guess what? Over the 3-4 yrs I've used dating sites and the few months ives used this 99.9% of first contact from a woman has been hi or hey. I even got those texts from women that stated they won't reply to those texts. I just think men in general are better at first contact than women want to admit but they're usually so overwhelmed with texts that they think they can start telling people to write essays, limericks, novels and poems or they won't reply. They will still reply to hi how are you if they like you.
How could anyone be intrigued or know they like someone from How r u? "
Cause they have pics and a profile and if there's none you can find out in less than 5mins of texting. Any ugly mutt can be witty or tell a joke(i know it's not all looks but it's atleast 50% of it haha) plus I've the strangest sense of humour going. People think I'm not all there for months until they get used to it. This can't be conveyed through text. People can be hilarious and really smart but bad texters so the polite how are you is acceptable for opening conversations to me. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
"
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why do you feel like this op?
" hi how are you" "how was your day"...who the fuck cares its over move on .....booooring...
Keep things interesting..
I mean you gotta pique my interest...as do I to get yours...the couple of first emails are always the hardest but can sometimes be the wittiest.
"
I never start conversations this way. I usually always attempt to pick out something for their bio or a minor detail in a picture and extrapolate on it. I just seem to lose the will power to give a shit when I get “yeh” and “lol” sent back.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When women say "hi how are you texts" don't do it what do they actually expect? A new joke sent to each woman each time? It's not just fab, all dating sites have women saying that too and guess what? Over the 3-4 yrs I've used dating sites and the few months ives used this 99.9% of first contact from a woman has been hi or hey. I even got those texts from women that stated they won't reply to those texts. I just think men in general are better at first contact than women want to admit but they're usually so overwhelmed with texts that they think they can start telling people to write essays, limericks, novels and poems or they won't reply. They will still reply to hi how are you if they like you.
How could anyone be intrigued or know they like someone from How r u?
Cause they have pics and a profile and if there's none you can find out in less than 5mins of texting. Any ugly mutt can be witty or tell a joke(i know it's not all looks but it's atleast 50% of it haha) plus I've the strangest sense of humour going. People think I'm not all there for months until they get used to it. This can't be conveyed through text. People can be hilarious and really smart but bad texters so the polite how are you is acceptable for opening conversations to me. "
I’m honestly starting to think that it just depends on the person you’re messaging. I feel some women like manners where as some want cheap cheesy openers. Fuck it. Too much variation lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When women say "hi how are you texts" don't do it what do they actually expect? A new joke sent to each woman each time? It's not just fab, all dating sites have women saying that too and guess what? Over the 3-4 yrs I've used dating sites and the few months ives used this 99.9% of first contact from a woman has been hi or hey. I even got those texts from women that stated they won't reply to those texts. I just think men in general are better at first contact than women want to admit but they're usually so overwhelmed with texts that they think they can start telling people to write essays, limericks, novels and poems or they won't reply. They will still reply to hi how are you if they like you.
How could anyone be intrigued or know they like someone from How r u?
Cause they have pics and a profile and if there's none you can find out in less than 5mins of texting. Any ugly mutt can be witty or tell a joke(i know it's not all looks but it's atleast 50% of it haha) plus I've the strangest sense of humour going. People think I'm not all there for months until they get used to it. This can't be conveyed through text. People can be hilarious and really smart but bad texters so the polite how are you is acceptable for opening conversations to me.
I’m honestly starting to think that it just depends on the person you’re messaging. I feel some women like manners where as some want cheap cheesy openers. Fuck it. Too much variation lol "
so guys are different and women are different! 
that's pretty much it in a nutshell! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When women say "hi how are you texts" don't do it what do they actually expect? A new joke sent to each woman each time? It's not just fab, all dating sites have women saying that too and guess what? Over the 3-4 yrs I've used dating sites and the few months ives used this 99.9% of first contact from a woman has been hi or hey. I even got those texts from women that stated they won't reply to those texts. I just think men in general are better at first contact than women want to admit but they're usually so overwhelmed with texts that they think they can start telling people to write essays, limericks, novels and poems or they won't reply. They will still reply to hi how are you if they like you.
How could anyone be intrigued or know they like someone from How r u?
Cause they have pics and a profile and if there's none you can find out in less than 5mins of texting. Any ugly mutt can be witty or tell a joke(i know it's not all looks but it's atleast 50% of it haha) plus I've the strangest sense of humour going. People think I'm not all there for months until they get used to it. This can't be conveyed through text. People can be hilarious and really smart but bad texters so the polite how are you is acceptable for opening conversations to me.
I’m honestly starting to think that it just depends on the person you’re messaging. I feel some women like manners where as some want cheap cheesy openers. Fuck it. Too much variation lol
so guys are different and women are different!
that's pretty much it in a nutshell!"
I’m going to say there’s more variance on the female side as men seem to be less particular in how they talk to people. Hate to say it, but I feel a lot of women on fab have become very fickle when it comes to men not saying the exact thing they want to hear. It’s more of a psychologically based topic than just “men and women are different”. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute. "
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?"
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat. "
We all form impressions even from the first contact, if someone thinks the person isn't really to their taste and/or they have better options, then why would they spend any longer than they feel they need to? Nobody here owes anyone else anything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat. "
Well if a feminist sees anything sensible in your texts then yes of course she'll lose interest straight away. Jk |
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat. "
Then I'm a brat.
If someone can't hold my interest within the first 3, probably 2 messages, then they have no chance. I don't waste my time, nor do I waste anyone else's time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat.
Then I'm a brat.
If someone can't hold my interest within the first 3, probably 2 messages, then they have no chance. I don't waste my time, nor do I waste anyone else's time."
Very true |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat.
We all form impressions even from the first contact, if someone thinks the person isn't really to their taste and/or they have better options, then why would they spend any longer than they feel they need to? Nobody here owes anyone else anything."
So manners and common courtesy mean nothing on this? Once again, if a woman has reached out to communicate with me and then expects me to make more of an effort than her, then yeh I do think I’m owed something more than silence. It actually is wasting my time on this.
For the amount of stautues bemoaning all the men sending dick pics or being blunt in their messages, I have experienced little positive feedback in my attempts to be quirky, funny or just simply polite.
99% is obviously an exaggeration, but perhaps it’s more to do with the better looking women being more stuck up? Makes sense to me
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat.
Well if a feminist sees anything sensible in your texts then yes of course she'll lose interest straight away. Jk "
Don’t get me started on fucking feminists... lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all. |
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"Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all."
I think I know which path he has chosen |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all."
So you think that we should just all disregard manners because some pricks are lacking these attritbutes? What nonsense. As I keep reiterating on this thread, my qualms lie not with the women I primarily contact but those who chose to contact me and feed me one liners. If I wasn’t having sex on a regular basis then I would be “bitter” as you say.
However, I’m more frustrated by the immaturity of those who refuse to communicate like adults to someone who treats them likewise. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat.
Then I'm a brat.
If someone can't hold my interest within the first 3, probably 2 messages, then they have no chance. I don't waste my time, nor do I waste anyone else's time."
You’re not just a brat. You’re a fickle brat. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all.
So you think that we should just all disregard manners because some pricks are lacking these attritbutes? What nonsense. As I keep reiterating on this thread, my qualms lie not with the women I primarily contact but those who chose to contact me and feed me one liners. If I wasn’t having sex on a regular basis then I would be “bitter” as you say.
However, I’m more frustrated by the immaturity of those who refuse to communicate like adults to someone who treats them likewise."
And how do you propose to change this? It does matter what label you choose to put on your reaction, it won't alter a thing. So move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all.
So you think that we should just all disregard manners because some pricks are lacking these attritbutes? What nonsense. As I keep reiterating on this thread, my qualms lie not with the women I primarily contact but those who chose to contact me and feed me one liners. If I wasn’t having sex on a regular basis then I would be “bitter” as you say.
However, I’m more frustrated by the immaturity of those who refuse to communicate like adults to someone who treats them likewise.
And how do you propose to change this? It does matter what label you choose to put on your reaction, it won't alter a thing. So move on."
*doesn't |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all.
So you think that we should just all disregard manners because some pricks are lacking these attritbutes? What nonsense. As I keep reiterating on this thread, my qualms lie not with the women I primarily contact but those who chose to contact me and feed me one liners. If I wasn’t having sex on a regular basis then I would be “bitter” as you say.
However, I’m more frustrated by the immaturity of those who refuse to communicate like adults to someone who treats them likewise.
And how do you propose to change this? It does matter what label you choose to put on your reaction, it won't alter a thing. So move on.
*doesn't"
I’m not here to propose change to a community which has little impact on the real world. I wouldn’t waste my time on something so pointless. Instead, I wanted to create a good basis of debate with thoughtful input. You may begin contributing whenever you like |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
I normally reply to my messages but also I put my hands up regarding chats that go nowhere. I clearly state on my profile that I become proactive when interested. Sure I'm open for incentives and I might take note of someone that could tickle my fantasy at a later stage but by the end of the day it has to come from my fingertips. |
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Personally I tend to reply with about the same level/amount of text that I received. Then on occasion I will wax lyrical if there's a conversation opener. Yes, it's very frustrating when you get a one word response. I usually try a one or two sentence response and forget about it, unless they reply. Hey, I know I've tried. That's enough for me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all.
So you think that we should just all disregard manners because some pricks are lacking these attritbutes? What nonsense. As I keep reiterating on this thread, my qualms lie not with the women I primarily contact but those who chose to contact me and feed me one liners. If I wasn’t having sex on a regular basis then I would be “bitter” as you say.
However, I’m more frustrated by the immaturity of those who refuse to communicate like adults to someone who treats them likewise.
And how do you propose to change this? It does matter what label you choose to put on your reaction, it won't alter a thing. So move on.
*doesn't
I’m not here to propose change to a community which has little impact on the real world. I wouldn’t waste my time on something so pointless. Instead, I wanted to create a good basis of debate with thoughtful input. You may begin contributing whenever you like "
A debate on fab over the behaviour of others doesn't merit my thoughtful input, particularly when it's an ill-disguised whine about why others aren't behaving as you think they should. No amount of careful phrasing on your part will turn this into an intellectual discourse. |
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By *m389Man
over a year ago
Bromley |
I think the behaviour of women is different online versus in person. You only have to look at the attitude towards "hi, how are you?" to realise this.
In person this is a perfectly acceptable way to strike up conversation. We men continue to use it online but to many woman this is boring, bland, uninspiring, unoriginal, no effort.
A lot of advantage is to the women, numbers, propensity of men to look for sex, the expectation of men to chase women, less onerous need to interact online.
I might sound whiney. All I'm trying say is, there is a distinct behaviour but it isn't your fault, just a product of the online environment. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all.
So you think that we should just all disregard manners because some pricks are lacking these attritbutes? What nonsense. As I keep reiterating on this thread, my qualms lie not with the women I primarily contact but those who chose to contact me and feed me one liners. If I wasn’t having sex on a regular basis then I would be “bitter” as you say.
However, I’m more frustrated by the immaturity of those who refuse to communicate like adults to someone who treats them likewise.
And how do you propose to change this? It does matter what label you choose to put on your reaction, it won't alter a thing. So move on.
*doesn't
I’m not here to propose change to a community which has little impact on the real world. I wouldn’t waste my time on something so pointless. Instead, I wanted to create a good basis of debate with thoughtful input. You may begin contributing whenever you like
A debate on fab over the behaviour of others doesn't merit my thoughtful input, particularly when it's an ill-disguised whine about why others aren't behaving as you think they should. No amount of careful phrasing on your part will turn this into an intellectual discourse. "
Hahaha and yet here you are whining about whining! The irony is strong.
As I must keep on stating, if you care to look back to the start of my thread you will see how I approached this with, what I thought to be, an open mind. I understood it came across as “whining”, hence why my opening sentence sought to address this.
I value your contribution to this thread despite it lacking any “thoughtful input” as you put it. Variance in opinions gives a good insight, to some degree, in how sections of a community functions. Is it wrong to be inquisitive? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all.
So you think that we should just all disregard manners because some pricks are lacking these attritbutes? What nonsense. As I keep reiterating on this thread, my qualms lie not with the women I primarily contact but those who chose to contact me and feed me one liners. If I wasn’t having sex on a regular basis then I would be “bitter” as you say.
However, I’m more frustrated by the immaturity of those who refuse to communicate like adults to someone who treats them likewise.
And how do you propose to change this? It does matter what label you choose to put on your reaction, it won't alter a thing. So move on.
*doesn't
I’m not here to propose change to a community which has little impact on the real world. I wouldn’t waste my time on something so pointless. Instead, I wanted to create a good basis of debate with thoughtful input. You may begin contributing whenever you like
A debate on fab over the behaviour of others doesn't merit my thoughtful input, particularly when it's an ill-disguised whine about why others aren't behaving as you think they should. No amount of careful phrasing on your part will turn this into an intellectual discourse.
Hahaha and yet here you are whining about whining! The irony is strong.
As I must keep on stating, if you care to look back to the start of my thread you will see how I approached this with, what I thought to be, an open mind. I understood it came across as “whining”, hence why my opening sentence sought to address this.
I value your contribution to this thread despite it lacking any “thoughtful input” as you put it. Variance in opinions gives a good insight, to some degree, in how sections of a community functions. Is it wrong to be inquisitive?"
Inquisitive? Or simply lacking in the understanding that not every behaves as you might like them to? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think the behaviour of women is different online versus in person. You only have to look at the attitude towards "hi, how are you?" to realise this.
In person this is a perfectly acceptable way to strike up conversation. We men continue to use it online but to many woman this is boring, bland, uninspiring, unoriginal, no effort.
A lot of advantage is to the women, numbers, propensity of men to look for sex, the expectation of men to chase women, less onerous need to interact online.
I might sound whiney. All I'm trying say is, there is a distinct behaviour but it isn't your fault, just a product of the online environment."
well thought out response. The online environment seems to be distinctly different, in terms of how people socialise with each other. It’s like a skill at getting good with summerising who you are, what you like about them and perhaps throwing in a joke in order to catch their attention lol I don’t have the energy I think |
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I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind "
agree! boredom sets in quite quickly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind "
Indeed, when the personality doesn't match up to the packaging, who's going to waste their time chatting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think the behaviour of women is different online versus in person. You only have to look at the attitude towards "hi, how are you?" to realise this.
In person this is a perfectly acceptable way to strike up conversation. We men continue to use it online but to many woman this is boring, bland, uninspiring, unoriginal, no effort.
A lot of advantage is to the women, numbers, propensity of men to look for sex, the expectation of men to chase women, less onerous need to interact online.
I might sound whiney. All I'm trying say is, there is a distinct behaviour but it isn't your fault, just a product of the online environment."
All of our behaviour is different on here than in person in everyday life. I for one normally wear more clothes. If I do engage in conversation say "hi, how are you" get a one word answer with little eye contact I dont think oh maybe I need to try harder I think fair enough and find someone who would like to converse.
I dont understand why someones lack of interest or even loss of interest after initiating it is a big deal. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Manners and common courtesy clearly mean nothing when women and couples regularly get abuse for responding with a polite no.
You have no control over how others act here, if things don't pan out for you, move on to the next profile, same goes for everyone. You can either do that or you can spend your time getting bitter about the unfairness of it all.
So you think that we should just all disregard manners because some pricks are lacking these attritbutes? What nonsense. As I keep reiterating on this thread, my qualms lie not with the women I primarily contact but those who chose to contact me and feed me one liners. If I wasn’t having sex on a regular basis then I would be “bitter” as you say.
However, I’m more frustrated by the immaturity of those who refuse to communicate like adults to someone who treats them likewise.
And how do you propose to change this? It does matter what label you choose to put on your reaction, it won't alter a thing. So move on.
*doesn't
I’m not here to propose change to a community which has little impact on the real world. I wouldn’t waste my time on something so pointless. Instead, I wanted to create a good basis of debate with thoughtful input. You may begin contributing whenever you like
A debate on fab over the behaviour of others doesn't merit my thoughtful input, particularly when it's an ill-disguised whine about why others aren't behaving as you think they should. No amount of careful phrasing on your part will turn this into an intellectual discourse.
Hahaha and yet here you are whining about whining! The irony is strong.
As I must keep on stating, if you care to look back to the start of my thread you will see how I approached this with, what I thought to be, an open mind. I understood it came across as “whining”, hence why my opening sentence sought to address this.
I value your contribution to this thread despite it lacking any “thoughtful input” as you put it. Variance in opinions gives a good insight, to some degree, in how sections of a community functions. Is it wrong to be inquisitive?
Inquisitive? Or simply lacking in the understanding that not every behaves as you might like them to?"
I don’t feel like there’s any point in tying to reason with someone who’s stubbornness prevents them from even attempting to understand opposing views to theirs.
All I can say is that I really feel for your husband lol |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think the behaviour of women is different online versus in person. You only have to look at the attitude towards "hi, how are you?" to realise this.
In person this is a perfectly acceptable way to strike up conversation. We men continue to use it online but to many woman this is boring, bland, uninspiring, unoriginal, no effort.
A lot of advantage is to the women, numbers, propensity of men to look for sex, the expectation of men to chase women, less onerous need to interact online.
I might sound whiney. All I'm trying say is, there is a distinct behaviour but it isn't your fault, just a product of the online environment.
All of our behaviour is different on here than in person in everyday life. I for one normally wear more clothes. If I do engage in conversation say "hi, how are you" get a one word answer with little eye contact I dont think oh maybe I need to try harder I think fair enough and find someone who would like to converse.
I dont understand why someones lack of interest or even loss of interest after initiating it is a big deal. "
It isn’t a big deal at all, you’re right. I’m simply trying to evaluate whether this is an aspect found within online communities like fab, or whether it is common in other social dynamics between men and women.
I want to understand whether women will tend to be more quiet in order to have the male “chase” after them and make them feel powerful/special. Or, is it just part of communicating online between the two genders? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind
Indeed, when the personality doesn't match up to the packaging, who's going to waste their time chatting."
That was a cheap joke hahaha I apologise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind
Indeed, when the personality doesn't match up to the packaging, who's going to waste their time chatting.
That was a cheap joke hahaha I apologise"
I found it quite funny given this thread tbh |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind
Indeed, when the personality doesn't match up to the packaging, who's going to waste their time chatting.
That was a cheap joke hahaha I apologise
I found it quite funny given this thread tbh "
I’m actually really funny. So why no fab replies?!?!!?!?! I’m a such a catch!!!!!! Grrrrrrr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind
Indeed, when the personality doesn't match up to the packaging, who's going to waste their time chatting.
That was a cheap joke hahaha I apologise
I found it quite funny given this thread tbh
I’m actually really funny. So why no fab replies?!?!!?!?! I’m a such a catch!!!!!! Grrrrrrr"
Inexplicable, eh? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind
Indeed, when the personality doesn't match up to the packaging, who's going to waste their time chatting.
That was a cheap joke hahaha I apologise
I found it quite funny given this thread tbh
I’m actually really funny. So why no fab replies?!?!!?!?! I’m a such a catch!!!!!! Grrrrrrr
Inexplicable, eh?"
I kinda wanna send you a template of my usual introductions just so you can see for yourself that I’m not one of the boring pushy assholes you find around here.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind
Indeed, when the personality doesn't match up to the packaging, who's going to waste their time chatting.
That was a cheap joke hahaha I apologise
I found it quite funny given this thread tbh
I’m actually really funny. So why no fab replies?!?!!?!?! I’m a such a catch!!!!!! Grrrrrrr
Inexplicable, eh?
I kinda wanna send you a template of my usual introductions just so you can see for yourself that I’m not one of the boring pushy assholes you find around here. "
We have filters to guard against such eventualities |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I enjoy a good two-way conversation... if someone isn't capable of holding one its usually apparent pretty quickly and I lose interest.
Doesn't matter how hot someone is... man or woman... there's nothing sexier than an engaging mind
Indeed, when the personality doesn't match up to the packaging, who's going to waste their time chatting.
That was a cheap joke hahaha I apologise
I found it quite funny given this thread tbh
I’m actually really funny. So why no fab replies?!?!!?!?! I’m a such a catch!!!!!! Grrrrrrr
Inexplicable, eh?
I kinda wanna send you a template of my usual introductions just so you can see for yourself that I’m not one of the boring pushy assholes you find around here.
We have filters to guard against such eventualities "
Heartbroken. To think of the rapport I felt we had built.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat.
We all form impressions even from the first contact, if someone thinks the person isn't really to their taste and/or they have better options, then why would they spend any longer than they feel they need to? Nobody here owes anyone else anything.
So manners and common courtesy mean nothing on this? Once again, if a woman has reached out to communicate with me and then expects me to make more of an effort than her, then yeh I do think I’m owed something more than silence. It actually is wasting my time on this.
For the amount of stautues bemoaning all the men sending dick pics or being blunt in their messages, I have experienced little positive feedback in my attempts to be quirky, funny or just simply polite.
99% is obviously an exaggeration, but perhaps it’s more to do with the better looking women being more stuck up? Makes sense to me
"
OWED something?!?! You’re owed nothing mate ffs |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If someone is monosyllabic it surely indicates low interest?
Do these things really require spelling out?
If you had fully read the thread you would have seen the part where I talk about how many women who have initiated contact with me end up becoming “monosyllabic” as you put it.
So, yes. I would like you to spell out why certain women feel like they can primarily show interest and then proceed to become a mute.
Perhaps because they have lost interest in you after a couple of messages?
Proving that many are as fickle as I thought. If you evaluate a persons character after a couple of messages from first contact you must be somewhat of a brat.
We all form impressions even from the first contact, if someone thinks the person isn't really to their taste and/or they have better options, then why would they spend any longer than they feel they need to? Nobody here owes anyone else anything.
So manners and common courtesy mean nothing on this? Once again, if a woman has reached out to communicate with me and then expects me to make more of an effort than her, then yeh I do think I’m owed something more than silence. It actually is wasting my time on this.
For the amount of stautues bemoaning all the men sending dick pics or being blunt in their messages, I have experienced little positive feedback in my attempts to be quirky, funny or just simply polite.
99% is obviously an exaggeration, but perhaps it’s more to do with the better looking women being more stuck up? Makes sense to me
OWED something?!?! You’re owed nothing mate ffs"
Calm down mate!!!!! |
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