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By *bout us OP Couple
over a year ago
dungannon |
I have been asked to meet a guy and I am tempted solely due to the fact he tells me he is looking for a sub
He is not on fab and won’t see this...
I have tried most things and some of them often . I have zero inhibitions .....What is the “norm “ for sub / Dom play ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say whatever you are comfortable with..it can take you to extremes or it can be fairly light. You'd need to set the parameter with the dom I would think. |
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Every sub-Dom dynamic is different, as everyone has their own preferences, limits and boundaries. Its something you develop over time as you communicate and build trust. If he's an experienced Dom you should be in pretty safe hands. Easiest thing to do though is to ask him what his expectations are! Then you can decide if its for you or not  |
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"I don’t like pain or having my body marked ... am I wrong for this type of play ?
"
That depends.... has he actually specified that he's into sado-masochism (S&M)? This is a mistake people often make because Bondage and Domination play gets 'lumped in' under the general title of BDSM. There is a huge spectrum of sub-Dom relationships... some are actually very nurturing and caring. Communicate! Don't assume |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"He's looking for a sub" those words alone would rig all kind of alarm bells for me the sub dom dynamic is more than just answering an add.
I'd would meet him in a safe environment and interview him with a view to finding out where he is and what he's looking for this may not be the same interpretation that u have decided ud like to try.
With some people it just clicks into position and they find that they are into to it before they know it others say they are looking for it but haven't a clue how to manage a sub it's not just using a flogger or restriction there's a whole lot more from the highs to the lows.
I would suggest u do some research first into the lifestyle of a sub/dom relationship,be sure to Google subdrop
I hope this helps don't ever restrict your self but do arm your self with the right information |
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I’d be very careful of the whole D/s scenario. Public place for first meet. Discuss what you are interested and willing to do.
Never EVER allow someone to restrain you until you are completely sure of them.
Establish a safe word/hand signal.
If he is a real Dom and not a wanna be woman beater he will give you plenty of time and space to get used to new ideas etc.
Just be safe. |
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By *appyPandaMan
over a year ago
Kilkenny, but Dublin is more fun |
BDSM is not to be treated lightly. Don't do any play with anyone that you don't trust or has not earned your respect.
Meet in public beforehand and make sure they're well versed in it, and would respect your limits and stop if you asked.
50 shades is not something to imitate. Abuse is still abuse even when disguised as bdsm. |
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By *bout us OP Couple
over a year ago
dungannon |
I am fairly sure I am safe as have met this guy part of a couple a few times for regular couples swap
I am not asking to be walked about on a lead , slapped with a bunch of roses ... just to feel submissive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I am fairly sure I am safe as have met this guy part of a couple a few times for regular couples swap
I am not asking to be walked about on a lead , slapped with a bunch of roses ... just to feel submissive "
Go for it as I'm sure if he's experienced and you know him well you'll have a great time. Part of the not knowing will heighten your experience  |
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D/S is just him deciding what to do, thats it. It carries no other implications like impact play or bondage.
Some people assume it will, but it does not.
Just directing a girl to undress and kneel down is d/s
Spanking etc is s/m
and bondage is bondage.
You can be dominant but like to be tied up, thats usually called a power bottom. etc etc etc. |
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"I’d be very careful of the whole D/s scenario. Public place for first meet. Discuss what you are interested and willing to do.
Never EVER allow someone to restrain you until you are completely sure of them.
Establish a safe word/hand signal.
If he is a real Dom and not a wanna be woman beater he will give you plenty of time and space to get used to new ideas etc.
Just be safe. "
^^ This^^
Great advice!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been asked to meet a guy and I am tempted solely due to the fact he tells me he is looking for a sub
He is not on fab and won’t see this...
I have tried most things and some of them often . I have zero inhibitions .....What is the “norm “ for sub / Dom play ?"
Your profile read unusual
“We will find out who did this?”
You speak in the first person yet you are a couple.
I’d say your best bet is google dom/sub for your answer  |
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By *bout us OP Couple
over a year ago
dungannon |
"I have been asked to meet a guy and I am tempted solely due to the fact he tells me he is looking for a sub
He is not on fab and won’t see this...
I have tried most things and some of them often . I have zero inhibitions .....What is the “norm “ for sub / Dom play ?
Your profile read unusual
“We will find out who did this?”
You speak in the first person yet you are a couple.
I’d say your best bet is google dom/sub for your answer "
I speak for me as I am an individual . I post a status update as us as we are a couples ... sorry if that’s confusing |
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"What can i expect a dom to do to me? "
If you are asking this question then you really shouldn't be considering a sub/Dom dynamic.
Please tread carefully as there are a lot of wannabe "Doms" out there who have been watching 50 Shades movies or read the books then decided they want to bully or beat women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d be very careful of the whole D/s scenario. Public place for first meet. Discuss what you are interested and willing to do.
Never EVER allow someone to restrain you until you are completely sure of them.
Establish a safe word/hand signal.
If he is a real Dom and not a wanna be woman beater he will give you plenty of time and space to get used to new ideas etc.
Just be safe. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t like pain or having my body marked ... am I wrong for this type of play ?
That depends.... has he actually specified that he's into sado-masochism (S&M)? This is a mistake people often make because Bondage and Domination play gets 'lumped in' under the general title of BDSM. There is a huge spectrum of sub-Dom relationships... some are actually very nurturing and caring. Communicate! Don't assume "
So elegantly articulated ! I’ve used the word ‘spectrum’ before with regard to dom and sub interactions highlighting that for some it is rare if ever restraints or physical force is employed when for others it’s almost a requirement.
At Op : like any interaction of note it should begin with some knowledge of each other, some trust via really good communication and shared agreements that it’s for mutual pleasure and enjoyment. Allowing anyone to restrain you or physically hurt you without those parameters may not be a place you want to go with anyone or the wrong person.
Enjoy and be safe ! |
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There is a vast difference between being submissive and being a sub. First of all don't do anything you're not comfortable with no matter whats being said to you. Youyre always in control of your own body and thoughts. If it's just being blindfolded you want maybe it just roleplay you seek. If he's an experienced Dom he won't ask you to indulge in play at first. Talk talk and talk again. Read up on it. It's very interesting and fulfilling if you choose that path . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Trust and good communication.
You have the control what happens to you, and nothing should happen without consent.
I would be cautious thou, And if he is a experienced Dom. Than a good way is to ask him for reference from other subs he played with.
Anything that happens without consent it is not BDSM |
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