FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Hotel meet......who pays?!
Hotel meet......who pays?!
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Just wondering what everyone’s opinion is on here?
I have talked to and met a number of great couples and singles on here. However on occasions when it comes to arranging a meet, following an initial social meet, I have been told that if I want to have some fun then Its up to me to have to book and pay for hotel. The booking part I have no issue with but I feel that the cost should be split. It’s as if I am paying to have sex with someone!
Just curious to if people think it is up to a guy to always pay when two parties getting pleasure  .
Single females I am happy to pay for hotel but couples I just feel cost should be split. May come across as a tight arse now  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't see why you feel you should pay if meeting a female, surely if women want equal treatment this means paying their share?
As a couple, we would be staying the night, so we don't expect a guy to contribute to the cost, we'll expect him to leave at some stage |
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"Just wondering what everyone’s opinion is on here?
I have talked to and met a number of great couples and singles on here. However on occasions when it comes to arranging a meet, following an initial social meet, I have been told that if I want to have some fun then Its up to me to have to book and pay for hotel. The booking part I have no issue with but I feel that the cost should be split. It’s as if I am paying to have sex with someone!
Just curious to if people think it is up to a guy to always pay when two parties getting pleasure .
Single females I am happy to pay for hotel but couples I just feel cost should be split. May come across as a tight arse now "
if it’s a one on one situation and you get on well you go Dutch if it’s like a gangbang situation I think it’s only fair ppl put money towards the hotel costs  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha "
Then you need to learn to ask for their share. No point complaining about the society you live in if you don't speak up when needed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha
Then you need to learn to ask for their share. No point complaining about the society you live in if you don't speak up when needed."
I'd guarantee you'd straight away lose alot of women if you suggested paying half on a date. I don't drink alcohol or smoke etc.. So usually have a better budget for dates haha I usually wait until the dating part is over and you're together to start sharing bills but for dates you'd actually lose some women. And before anyone says they're not worth it then they still are, they just seem to expect its normal for guys to pay. |
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"I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha
Then you need to learn to ask for their share. No point complaining about the society you live in if you don't speak up when needed.
I'd guarantee you'd straight away lose alot of women if you suggested paying half on a date. I don't drink alcohol or smoke etc.. So usually have a better budget for dates haha I usually wait until the dating part is over and you're together to start sharing bills but for dates you'd actually lose some women. And before anyone says they're not worth it then they still are, they just seem to expect its normal for guys to pay. "
I think you're right. Many women would be put off by that. You just have to decide what your priority is at the time. It's a sticky situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha
Then you need to learn to ask for their share. No point complaining about the society you live in if you don't speak up when needed.
I'd guarantee you'd straight away lose alot of women if you suggested paying half on a date. I don't drink alcohol or smoke etc.. So usually have a better budget for dates haha I usually wait until the dating part is over and you're together to start sharing bills but for dates you'd actually lose some women. And before anyone says they're not worth it then they still are, they just seem to expect its normal for guys to pay. "
Then you're also accepting it as the norm and setting the standard for the future relationship. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha
Then you need to learn to ask for their share. No point complaining about the society you live in if you don't speak up when needed.
I'd guarantee you'd straight away lose alot of women if you suggested paying half on a date. I don't drink alcohol or smoke etc.. So usually have a better budget for dates haha I usually wait until the dating part is over and you're together to start sharing bills but for dates you'd actually lose some women. And before anyone says they're not worth it then they still are, they just seem to expect its normal for guys to pay.
Then you're also accepting it as the norm and setting the standard for the future relationship. "
I'm a pussy though, I'm not brave enough to tackle this issue haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have no problem paying but any of the ladies I meet in a hotel have no problem paying half or has was said by a above poster they pay for the repeat meet.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha
Then you need to learn to ask for their share. No point complaining about the society you live in if you don't speak up when needed.
I'd guarantee you'd straight away lose alot of women if you suggested paying half on a date. I don't drink alcohol or smoke etc.. So usually have a better budget for dates haha I usually wait until the dating part is over and you're together to start sharing bills but for dates you'd actually lose some women. And before anyone says they're not worth it then they still are, they just seem to expect its normal for guys to pay.
Then you're also accepting it as the norm and setting the standard for the future relationship.
I'm a pussy though, I'm not brave enough to tackle this issue haha "
I'll close with saying that in a relationship, you tend to get the treatment you are willing to put up with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't use hotels. But if I did and I invited someone to join me in a hotel I would assume that I am paying 100%. Likewise, if I am invited somewhere I wouldn't expect to pay for anything. "
I agree if someone 2 meet. I think it's up 2 them 2 travel,pay if there a hotel,and it someone asked for a face pic they should send first. |
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"I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha
Then you need to learn to ask for their share. No point complaining about the society you live in if you don't speak up when needed.
I'd guarantee you'd straight away lose alot of women if you suggested paying half on a date. I don't drink alcohol or smoke etc.. So usually have a better budget for dates haha I usually wait until the dating part is over and you're together to start sharing bills but for dates you'd actually lose some women. And before anyone says they're not worth it then they still are, they just seem to expect its normal for guys to pay.
Then you're also accepting it as the norm and setting the standard for the future relationship.
I'm a pussy though, I'm not brave enough to tackle this issue haha
I'll close with saying that in a relationship, you tend to get the treatment you are willing to put up with "
Haha a relationship definitely should be treated differently than the swinging scene I believe. It's fair enough when initially dating to pay etc but again it's sometimes only needs to be an offer to pay that shows a lot about a person |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
In general 50 : 50 no matter who you're meeting.
But often it depends on the situation. ie I stay in a hotel because of business and have a meet I pay the full amount myself or respectively the other way around.
On the odd occasion an invitation is acceptable  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Should be 50/50 but unfortunately there are some self titled prince and princesses out there that feel you owe them something because you are agreeing to meet. As I have my own place it’s assumed I will accommodate and I don’t mind doing so for the right person but don’t assume it as the saying goes assume only makes an ass out of u and me |
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"In general 50 : 50 no matter who you're meeting.
But often it depends on the situation. ie I stay in a hotel because of business and have a meet I pay the full amount myself or respectively the other way around.
On the odd occasion an invitation is acceptable "
Completely agree. No issues with meeting someone when travelling with work and in that case wouldn't expect them to even offer to pay. It's just the situations where no attempt to offer is made and it's as if you're paying for a service. Not why I am on here and that's not what I think this site is meant to be about lol |
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"Should be 50/50 but unfortunately there are some self titled prince and princesses out there that feel you owe them something because you are agreeing to meet. As I have my own place it’s assumed I will accommodate and I don’t mind doing so for the right person but don’t assume it as the saying goes assume only makes an ass out of u and me"
I believe the quote goes "assumption is the mother of all f@$K ups" 
Mr. |
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50/50 hate feeling like I owe something! Mind you there have been quite a few guys who have left me with the bill! If a guy wants to treat me to the room ok but I’ll be buying dinner or drinks or something! Or I have bought undies especially for him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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50/50 all the way!
Maybe we should start to charge any FAB visitors to our home half the mortgage, rent, rates, heating, electric and laundry for that day?
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"50/50 all the way!
Maybe we should start to charge any FAB visitors to our home half the mortgage, rent, rates, heating, electric and laundry for that day?
"
They could at least call from Tesco and ask if they should pick up some milk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi OP, I think it says a lot about the couple that bring it up in conversation that if you want to play, you book and pay for the room.
I'd steer well clear of people like that, its a bit low tbh. If you suggested you'd pay yourself well that's your doing, but this doesn't sound like that.
L |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't organise anything if I couldn't afford to pay my half, whether it is going for a coffee or a hotel room. If I am skint it will have to wait until I'm not, unless it is someone I see regularly and we take turns  |
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"Hi OP, I think it says a lot about the couple that bring it up in conversation that if you want to play, you book and pay for the room.
I'd steer well clear of people like that, its a bit low tbh. If you suggested you'd pay yourself well that's your doing, but this doesn't sound like that.
L"
Yep I was given an option... pay or no meet and to be honest I thought that was maybe the norm on here. Glad to hear it’s not and yes will be avoiding similar scenarios in the future. Happy to cover the hotel when on business on but when it’s meant for fun for all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"50/50 all the way!
Maybe we should start to charge any FAB visitors to our home half the mortgage, rent, rates, heating, electric and laundry for that day?
They could at least call from Tesco and ask if they should pick up some milk "
Now you're talking!
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi OP, I think it says a lot about the couple that bring it up in conversation that if you want to play, you book and pay for the room.
I'd steer well clear of people like that, its a bit low tbh. If you suggested you'd pay yourself well that's your doing, but this doesn't sound like that.
L
Yep I was given an option... pay or no meet and to be honest I thought that was maybe the norm on here. Glad to hear it’s not and yes will be avoiding similar scenarios in the future. Happy to cover the hotel when on business on but when it’s meant for fun for all."
Oh you will find others who expect a "gift"for the privilege of their company |
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Only had a prostitute on here ask me for 150.
Every other person I have met was actually very very generous. The single women and couples.
I have even had meets paid for by the others. It was just a cup of tea and I argued that I would pay my half but it made me happy they bought me a cup of tea.
I think a lot of it has to do with what type of meeting you propose. I usually ask for a tea/coffeee meet. Some might ask for a few drinks in a pub.
Obviously a few drinks in a pub are gonna cost more, and if you asked then a lot more might expect you to pay etc. |
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"Hi OP, I think it says a lot about the couple that bring it up in conversation that if you want to play, you book and pay for the room.
I'd steer well clear of people like that, its a bit low tbh. If you suggested you'd pay yourself well that's your doing, but this doesn't sound like that.
L
Yep I was given an option... pay or no meet and to be honest I thought that was maybe the norm on here. Glad to hear it’s not and yes will be avoiding similar scenarios in the future. Happy to cover the hotel when on business on but when it’s meant for fun for all.
Oh you will find others who expect a "gift"for the privilege of their company "
Lol easy answer to that..... I am their gift |
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"Don't see why you would pay for a single lady but expect a couple to pay -surely everyone should pay their share of a meet !"
I understand completely with what you are saying. I guess I have considered it in the past like I would for a first date scenario with a single female. Not the correct approach I know. Very glad to hear so many singles and couples thinking it should be a 50/ 50 split. Restoring faith on this site.
Thank you |
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For me ...it's always been 50/50. Have come across some ladies pro files and they bluntly state that they don't pay for hotels. In that cause I just move on.Was on one meet ....few drinks and no attempt was made on her behalf to buy a round. Don't get me wrong , no problem buying a few drinks but when not a glimmer of an effort is made...you think we'll that's not great. Thankfully it's only happened once. Other ladies I have met would not dream of behaving that way and make it a point of paying their way. My advice is that on Fab like in life there are givers and takers.We can do with less takers and more decent genuine people both female and male |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha
Then you need to learn to ask for their share. No point complaining about the society you live in if you don't speak up when needed.
I'd guarantee you'd straight away lose alot of women if you suggested paying half on a date. I don't drink alcohol or smoke etc.. So usually have a better budget for dates haha I usually wait until the dating part is over and you're together to start sharing bills but for dates you'd actually lose some women. And before anyone says they're not worth it then they still are, they just seem to expect its normal for guys to pay.
Then you're also accepting it as the norm and setting the standard for the future relationship.
"
I agree completely. If you start out on a certain path well relationships tend to stay on that path. I think the day of men paying for everything is long gone. And I think most ladies would rather pay their way and split things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering what everyone’s opinion is on here?
I have talked to and met a number of great couples and singles on here. However on occasions when it comes to arranging a meet, following an initial social meet, I have been told that if I want to have some fun then Its up to me to have to book and pay for hotel. The booking part I have no issue with but I feel that the cost should be split. It’s as if I am paying to have sex with someone!
Just curious to if people think it is up to a guy to always pay when two parties getting pleasure .
Single females I am happy to pay for hotel but couples I just feel cost should be split. May come across as a tight arse now "
We pay for our room when ever or who ever we meet! When they leave us, they either pay for their own room or go home! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've paid for every single date I've been on in my life. I've even travelled to other counties to meet girls in their home town and paid for everything we did. Sometimes when I'm low on cash I kinda wish the girls would offer but I can never ever bring myself to ask for bills to be split. That's the society we live in as males ha
Then you need to learn to ask for their share. No point complaining about the society you live in if you don't speak up when needed.
I'd guarantee you'd straight away lose alot of women if you suggested paying half on a date. I don't drink alcohol or smoke etc.. So usually have a better budget for dates haha I usually wait until the dating part is over and you're together to start sharing bills but for dates you'd actually lose some women. And before anyone says they're not worth it then they still are, they just seem to expect its normal for guys to pay. "
Not been on many dates but would never expect the guy to pay for everything . 50/50 all the way. |
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Vanilla date, then yes, if you initiate it, you pay the first time.
If it's Fab, then it's 50/50, agreed in advance. Unless your work are already paying for the hotel. Other than that scenario, if one party isn't going to make use of the room for the full night, then a contribution towards the room, or pay for the initial drinks would be fair.
All those details, if discussed in advance, should be the minutiae that are dealt with quickly and easily so that the fun is without any hints of obligation on either party/parties. |
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"Just wondering what everyone’s opinion is on here?
I have talked to and met a number of great couples and singles on here. However on occasions when it comes to arranging a meet, following an initial social meet, I have been told that if I want to have some fun then Its up to me to have to book and pay for hotel. The booking part I have no issue with but I feel that the cost should be split. It’s as if I am paying to have sex with someone!
Just curious to if people think it is up to a guy to always pay when two parties getting pleasure .
Single females I am happy to pay for hotel but couples I just feel cost should be split. May come across as a tight arse now "
Double standards all over the place.
Why would you be “happy to pay” for a girl? Does both parties not get pleasure when it’s just the girl?
You said paying for a room it’s like “paying to have sex” so what’s the difference between couples and a girl? Make your mind up, you’re either happy “paying to have sex” (your words not mine) or you’re not...
In our case Mrs won’t meet if the guy won’t accept half the money, or return the favor if we agree a second meet, or we pay full and stay the night.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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50/50 regardless of whom ur meeting whether it be single lady guy or couple
If the person u are meeting is someone u have met before and are repeating meets with reguralky its ok to take turns paying for the room. |
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and quite frankly I'd think less of someone if they didn't offer to pay half.. 