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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is my first Valentines night on my own after 14 years and it's a very difficult week. Currently going through a marriage separation at the moment and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It has to be the most heart breaking soul destroying mind fucking situation I've ever went through..and it's not getting better after 7 months. I know it's a common situation in Ireland, but does it get better? Does your life improve? I really hope it does soon. My Ex knows I'm on this and I'm sure she's on it as well since we've dabbled on this before. It would be nice to meet up with someone to go for a few drinks, chat and doesn't even have to be any fun after. Sorry about the rant..  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It gets better when u both learn to let go and move on I'm nearly 3 years separated and no contact at all it works great  "
there isn't much contact now but it's hard when kids are involved. Every cloud and all that I suppose.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It will get better, hang in there. Valentine's day is just one day, you'll get through it just like you got through every day for the last 7 months. You're stronger than you think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A friend of mine separated yrs ago and every hallmark occasion she would go on about "heres another valentines alone or xmas"
My reply was always be thankful that you had someone to share the occassions with and remember the good times and look forward that you will have them good times again. Ive never shared a valentines or any hallmark occasion with a guy but yet i still hold out hoping some day i will. Plenty of people out there who wont get to celebrate it anyway. If you have kids why not do something with them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A friend of mine separated yrs ago and every hallmark occasion she would go on about "heres another valentines alone or xmas"
My reply was always be thankful that you had someone to share the occassions with and remember the good times and look forward that you will have them good times again. Ive never shared a valentines or any hallmark occasion with a guy but yet i still hold out hoping some day i will. Plenty of people out there who wont get to celebrate it anyway. If you have kids why not do something with them. "
That is great advice, I will plan something with the kids, especially with it being pancake Tuesday as well. Thank you for your kind words. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A friend of mine separated yrs ago and every hallmark occasion she would go on about "heres another valentines alone or xmas"
My reply was always be thankful that you had someone to share the occassions with and remember the good times and look forward that you will have them good times again. Ive never shared a valentines or any hallmark occasion with a guy but yet i still hold out hoping some day i will. Plenty of people out there who wont get to celebrate it anyway. If you have kids why not do something with them. That is great advice, I will plan something with the kids, especially with it being pancake Tuesday as well. Thank you for your kind words. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Been through it years ago OP.Things do get better once divorce or separation is done. You have your kids to keep you sane ( mine did). Chin up Buddy and theres a nice cold beer waiting for ya if you ever get down this way  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Been through it years ago OP.Things do get better once divorce or separation is done. You have your kids to keep you sane ( mine did). Chin up Buddy and theres a nice cold beer waiting for ya if you ever get down this way "
Thank you so much. You're right, it's the kids that are keeping me going and a few very close friends and amazing neighbours. |
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Ah heart goes out to you op was in a similar situation my self with a partner of 20 years even though it was the best thing for me leave it's difficult and the part about feeling lost hit home. But with the help of a very good friend and a little determination things improved greatly treat Valentine's day as just another day and you WILL get over it op and this feeling will soon dissapear I promise just keep doing what you are doing concentrate or your fabulous children and the sun will shine again for you xxx |
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I wouldn't wish it on any married couple, seperation and divorce are life changing things after you've planned a whole lifetime around being with another person. I'm seperated nearly 10 years and even though it was my choice I found it hard to skip through xmas and valentines etc alone. If you look after yourself and keep pushing onwards mentally and believe that this is only a temporary situation, it will keep you positive which is what you want for your best future self post divorce... just don't end up an aul cynic like me!! Be kind and love yourself first, kids second and after that anything is a bonus |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Op it will get better. For me it took 3 yrs to get talking again now I wish we do get on but times i wish he would feck off . I mean mine was a v bad situation so if I can over come that u will too . Chin up time does heal. |
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Excellent experience stories and advice above.
OP, chin up, do the pancakes with the kids and then bed early. Avoid TV as it'll be full of schmaltzy shite.
It's just a Hallmark day and I bet this time next year, you will be in a much better frame of mind.
Look forward to that and the kids growing and filling you with admiration |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you so much everyone for the advice. I know time is a great healer and there is always someone else out there for me. Have a amazing weekend everyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In a nutshell depends on why your seperating in the first place, after a good few years and it took the divorce to make him see it was really over and so was the control. Hard when you’ve kids but just mind yourself and them and hopefully all works out for you x |
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