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Favourite quotes
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I heard an auld fella say this to his son who he was directing whilst driving a tractor....
"PULL OUT"
"pull out she said til I fart"
"Not if you blew the balls off me he said"
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One Friday in Dublin, a teacher told her class that anyone who could tell her the author of some quotations could have the rest of the day off. She then says "ask not what your country can do for you...". A very posh sounding girl spoke up and said, "I say, wasn't that JFK?". The teacher tells her she can have the rest of the day off.
"I have a dream" says the teacher... "gosh" says a very posh sounding boy, "I rather think that was Martin Luther King". The teacher gives him the rest of the day off. Little Paddy sitting down the back is dying to answer one but each time it's a very posh child that gets in ahead of him. Eventually he loses the rag and even he beats another plummy accent he bursts out.."for fuck's sake, where did all these English cunts come from?". The teacher asks who said that and little Paddy stands up, puts his bag on his back and heads for the for saying "Patrick Pearse, GPO, Dublin, April 1916. I'll see you on Monday!" |
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"Outside of a dog, a book is a mans best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read"
Groucho Marx
"If women ruled the world there would be no wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days"
Robin Williams.
"Golf, a good walk ruined"
"Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated"
Mark Twain. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“I have always lived violently, d*unk hugely, eaten too much or not at all, slept around the clock or missed two nights of sleeping, worked too hard and too long in glory, or slobbed for a time in utter laziness. I've lifted, pulled, chopped, climbed, made love with joy and taken my hangovers as a consequence, not as a punishment.” |
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Bessie Braddock: "Winston, you are d*unk, and what’s more you are disgustingly d*unk."
Winston Churchill: "My dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly."  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing "
"You don't always have to be who they want you to be."
Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You |
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"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing
"You don't always have to be who they want you to be."
Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You"
What is it with this chick? She beer flavoured nipples?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You have not lived until you have been fucked in barn all afternoon by a donegal farmer as his wife is in house carrying out housewife duties
.... not a quote it is a fact lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The two things about commons sense are first it's not that common and secondly if you could bottle common sense those that needed it wouldn't have the whit to buy it. |
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"How did i feel to fail 1000 times, I didn't I discovered there's 1000 steps to inventing a lightbulb...thomas eddison...moral...never give up !!! "
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Edison's signature invention is the light bulb. Of course, Edison didn't actually invent the incandescent bulb, something that the Oatmeal comic is quick to point out when it says "Edison didn't invent the light bulb, he improved upon the ideas of 22 other men who pioneered the light bulb before him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it." Terry Prattche.
"I'd say your a cunt!, But a cunt is useful!" Me to my ex!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most!"
"God gave men bigger brains than dogs so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties!"
"Surely you can't be serious! Yes I'm serious and don't call me Shirley." |
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The darkest hour is just before the dawn 
Sing Street (Film)
