FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Standard of messages lately
Standard of messages lately
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We've been knocking around this lifestyle for a good few years and we've noticed a significant decline in quality messages.
Aside from the bog standard...hey bbe want sum fuk? I'm more talking about people not bothering to read a single part of a profile and lashing out a message highlighting as such.
Or the alternative is the god awful copy and paste.
The perfect message for us is to have someone tell us what they like about our profile or ask us something based off our profile so that we could actually start a conversation.
I am grateful that you took the time to read my rant. I feel better now. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Iv sent many a message with quality content lol always put something in about the person/persons profile and a bit about myself.
When the receiver deletes without reading or reads and no reply it can be very disheartening...
Very rarely these days do I send messages |
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By *eijaWoman
over a year ago
City Centre |
I so hear your pain!! I do wonder if some people are actually writing in English  what's all the txt speak about??
It only takes a minute to read someone's profile and see what they are looking for..
It doesn't take long to send a short message in proper english with a little about yourself to start a conversation flowing...That's my rant over  |
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"Iv sent many a message with quality content lol always put something in about the person/persons profile and a bit about myself.
When the receiver deletes without reading or reads and no reply it can be very disheartening...
Very rarely these days do I send messages"
I totally get how that is a pain. From the other perspective, some has put some thought and effort into their profile. It is disheartening is anvery similar way to receive messages with something you clearly address in your profile.
Take our profile for example, we say that we never meet spontaneously and yet we receive probably 10 messages every day with 'free now' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yea there's 2 sides.i completley see why it's frustrating for you guys. I have on my profile "not looking for men" and I received 2 messages today already asking to suck me off.
Do ppl not read profiles or just disregard them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s frustrating, when you try all sort of messages to start with and still no respond .
I decided to stick with a short greeting , introduce my self and attach a face picture .
If interested they get back to you if not no one hurt .
Happy fabbing  |
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I agree! I haven't been here very long but over the past few months I have noticed the same thing with messages. It's awful. I always try to respond to anyone that messages in a genuine attempt to make a connection. Even if it is just a thank you for your message and a polite no thank you. But most mail I get anymore is negative at best, abusive at worst. I don't know why guys think it would be attractive to send a message moaning about their bad luck on the site. It's a bit much really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I understand what you mean, although I probably have less experience in dealing with messages. Was recently talking to a woman, who initiated contact with me first (this is important). We sent a few messages as introductions and then I was hit with “so what are you willing to do to have sex with me” and then told me what another guy was willing to do. Seriously. Sometimes I wonder what the point is  |
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"I understand what you mean, although I probably have less experience in dealing with messages. Was recently talking to a woman, who initiated contact with me first (this is important). We sent a few messages as introductions and then I was hit with “so what are you willing to do to have sex with me” and then told me what another guy was willing to do. Seriously. Sometimes I wonder what the point is "
That's a shame. Unfortunately there are many people here just to have their egos stroked, both men and women. I truly hope you didn't give her the satisfaction of a reply. |
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"I understand what you mean, although I probably have less experience in dealing with messages. Was recently talking to a woman, who initiated contact with me first (this is important). We sent a few messages as introductions and then I was hit with “so what are you willing to do to have sex with me” and then told me what another guy was willing to do. Seriously. Sometimes I wonder what the point is "
Block and move on... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I replied that I hoped she enjoyed what was on offer elsewhere and left it at that..
Well, you're a gent. More than she deserved xx"
Maybe I am! Call me crazy, but I go by a rule that says if you wouldn’t say it to someone’s face then you shouldn’t put it in a message. And I imagine my reaction in person would have been the same, while truly struggling to understand what makes people think they can say that to someone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Stop they have be unreal. I had one gentleman ask me to meet i said no thank you and explained why i wasnt interest. A week later the same message told him i had already said no thanks and then he wanted to know why etc. I told him to buzz off as i had told him already and had no notion of repeating my messages. Anither ine is from a couple who are fake. I told them i didnt feel comfortably as i didnt think it was a real profile. Got abuse from them and 2 weeks later they asked me out again. Told them now as already explained why and got messages etc saying we never chatted to u bwfirw.  so now i block and move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The mindset of so many men on here seriously baffles me.
Some of the messages our couple profile gets beggars belief, so I can only imagine how much worse it is for single women on here.
I honestly don't know what it is men expect us or C to think or do when they send us cock pics especially when the first thing our profile states is DO NOT SEND COCK PICS.
"Oh wow, yours looks so much different and better than all the rest. C seriously must have this one and right now". Lol
They wouldn't just walk up to a woman at a meet and greet and wave their cock in her face so why should it be different here. Sometimes we send a cock pic back and when they ask why we tell em "Well you sent us one so we thought we would send one back". You should try it sometime. Lol. It usually works wonders and gets the point across. It's funny if nothing else.
"I'm free now if you fancy a bit".
"Oh yes, hold on, no problem, C will just drop everything she is doing and drop her life and routine to come running to you so she can drop her knickers for you simply because you are free and it's what you want".
And then there are the ones who won't take a hint or no for an answer when you try to be polite.
We had the same guy message us on five or six different occasions and each time we told him that we had already politely explained to him that we weren't interested. We eventually ended up blocking him.
Then there are ones whom, just because you have exchanged a few messages, turn round and say "So when are you free?"
"Ummmmm you're making the bold assumption we are interested in meeting. We don't even know what you look like".
Judging by a lot of messages, some of them seem to overlook that it's a couple's profile and talk to C as if she is single and I don't even exist.
The ones that really annoy me though are the ones who go on and on at C about how wonderful she is and how they would so love to meet, etc etc and then when they finally get their chance they flake or go all silent then usually come up with some bullshit excuse about how they got called into work or something came up. "That's fair enough, things happen, but you can't take just 30 seconds to send a text and let her/us know instead of wasting our time. Common courtesy."
I remember one guy arranged a time and place with us for a social meet. We were sat in the bar at 7pm like we'd arranged and there was no sign of him. We messaged him about 8 and the cheeky bugger then turned round and said he is having a few drinks with a friend in another part of Belfast but would be round after. He thought it would be ok to just keep us on hold and that we would just sit waiting for him. Another guy ended up coming to meet us at short notice then eventually around 11pm the first guy messaged asking where we were. Unbelievable the nerve of some people. Lol
So....in short......
Some people on here really suck. Lol
The decent people we have met on here make it all worthwhile.
Anyhow, rant over. I feel so much better now.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The mindset of so many men on here seriously baffles me.
Some of the messages our couple profile gets beggars belief, so I can only imagine how much worse it is for single women on here.
I honestly don't know what it is men expect us or C to think or do when they send us cock pics especially when the first thing our profile states is DO NOT SEND COCK PICS.
"Oh wow, yours looks so much different and better than all the rest. C seriously must have this one and right now". Lol
They wouldn't just walk up to a woman at a meet and greet and wave their cock in her face so why should it be different here. Sometimes we send a cock pic back and when they ask why we tell em "Well you sent us one so we thought we would send one back". You should try it sometime. Lol. It usually works wonders and gets the point across. It's funny if nothing else.
"I'm free now if you fancy a bit".
"Oh yes, hold on, no problem, C will just drop everything she is doing and drop her life and routine to come running to you so she can drop her knickers for you simply because you are free and it's what you want".
And then there are the ones who won't take a hint or no for an answer when you try to be polite.
We had the same guy message us on five or six different occasions and each time we told him that we had already politely explained to him that we weren't interested. We eventually ended up blocking him.
Then there are ones whom, just because you have exchanged a few messages, turn round and say "So when are you free?"
"Ummmmm you're making the bold assumption we are interested in meeting. We don't even know what you look like".
Judging by a lot of messages, some of them seem to overlook that it's a couple's profile and talk to C as if she is single and I don't even exist.
The ones that really annoy me though are the ones who go on and on at C about how wonderful she is and how they would so love to meet, etc etc and then when they finally get their chance they flake or go all silent then usually come up with some bullshit excuse about how they got called into work or something came up. "That's fair enough, things happen, but you can't take just 30 seconds to send a text and let her/us know instead of wasting our time. Common courtesy."
I remember one guy arranged a time and place with us for a social meet. We were sat in the bar at 7pm like we'd arranged and there was no sign of him. We messaged him about 8 and the cheeky bugger then turned round and said he is having a few drinks with a friend in another part of Belfast but would be round after. He thought it would be ok to just keep us on hold and that we would just sit waiting for him. Another guy ended up coming to meet us at short notice then eventually around 11pm the first guy messaged asking where we were. Unbelievable the nerve of some people. Lol
So....in short......
Some people on here really suck. Lol
The decent people we have met on here make it all worthwhile.
Anyhow, rant over. I feel so much better now. "
Couldnt put that any better to be honest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know it’s supposed to be fun and a games for everyone here and I appreciate that there are plenty on here who spoil it but whenever you try to make a connection on here it is just a punt in the dark.
95% of the people on here will not be a match (or whatever you want to call it ) for a variety of reasons, looks, situation, sex, availability, locality etc.
Anyone messaging anyone out of the blue doesnt know the mood of the person receiving (and sometimes even reading!) the message.
Its far better in my view to just try and get a response, you can then invest some time and do the life story.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An interesting thread, albeit these threads are getting a little boring. First thing to point out is that it isn’t just single men who send ill thought out, stupid messages. Plenty of couples and single women do as well.
Yet for all these stupid messages, the people receiving them don’t seem to adjust their own approach to reduce the impact of receiving them. Single men moan about messages from other single men yet don’t take the easy step of blocking single men ? Lots of people put up meets or sometimes graphic status updates and then wonder why their profile gets inundated with crude, badly thought out mails from time wasting men.
Many couples and single women on here block single men and will get in touch via a wink or a mail with those they are interested in directly, thereby avoiding the need to have an inbox full of crude, badly written messages from the timeswasters and fantasists on here. I’m sure I stand to be corrected but it would appear this approach works for them and it certainly makes sense to me.
But then perhaps secretly, lots of people, men, women and couples like the attention regardless of the content. An empty mailbox can be a lonely place for some.
That’s my ten cents. |
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"An interesting thread, albeit these threads are getting a little boring. First thing to point out is that it isn’t just single men who send ill thought out, stupid messages. Plenty of couples and single women do as well.
Yet for all these stupid messages, the people receiving them don’t seem to adjust their own approach to reduce the impact of receiving them. Single men moan about messages from other single men yet don’t take the easy step of blocking single men ? Lots of people put up meets or sometimes graphic status updates and then wonder why their profile gets inundated with crude, badly thought out mails from time wasting men.
Many couples and single women on here block single men and will get in touch via a wink or a mail with those they are interested in directly, thereby avoiding the need to have an inbox full of crude, badly written messages from the timeswasters and fantasists on here. I’m sure I stand to be corrected but it would appear this approach works for them and it certainly makes sense to me.
But then perhaps secretly, lots of people, men, women and couples like the attention regardless of the content. An empty mailbox can be a lonely place for some.
That’s my ten cents."
Well said!! |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
"An interesting thread, albeit these threads are getting a little boring. First thing to point out is that it isn’t just single men who send ill thought out, stupid messages. Plenty of couples and single women do as well.
Yet for all these stupid messages, the people receiving them don’t seem to adjust their own approach to reduce the impact of receiving them. Single men moan about messages from other single men yet don’t take the easy step of blocking single men ? Lots of people put up meets or sometimes graphic status updates and then wonder why their profile gets inundated with crude, badly thought out mails from time wasting men.
Many couples and single women on here block single men and will get in touch via a wink or a mail with those they are interested in directly, thereby avoiding the need to have an inbox full of crude, badly written messages from the timeswasters and fantasists on here. I’m sure I stand to be corrected but it would appear this approach works for them and it certainly makes sense to me.
But then perhaps secretly, lots of people, men, women and couples like the attention regardless of the content. An empty mailbox can be a lonely place for some.
That’s my ten cents."
This! Spot on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I didn't read all of the replies but I want to ask a question. What sort of messages do couples and women send if any? I always see those people complaining but every woman that has ever contacted me first on dating sites or this literally text "hey there" with a smiley or a winky face. I've sent personalised texts to 90% of women and there's still no reaction. Reality is if a woman likes your profile she'll respond to almost anything (obvious not the weird or rude). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"An interesting thread, albeit these threads are getting a little boring. First thing to point out is that it isn’t just single men who send ill thought out, stupid messages. Plenty of couples and single women do as well.
Yet for all these stupid messages, the people receiving them don’t seem to adjust their own approach to reduce the impact of receiving them. Single men moan about messages from other single men yet don’t take the easy step of blocking single men ? Lots of people put up meets or sometimes graphic status updates and then wonder why their profile gets inundated with crude, badly thought out mails from time wasting men.
Many couples and single women on here block single men and will get in touch via a wink or a mail with those they are interested in directly, thereby avoiding the need to have an inbox full of crude, badly written messages from the timeswasters and fantasists on here. I’m sure I stand to be corrected but it would appear this approach works for them and it certainly makes sense to me.
But then perhaps secretly, lots of people, men, women and couples like the attention regardless of the content. An empty mailbox can be a lonely place for some.
That’s my ten cents."
Your ten cents is spot on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Standard of messages apply to everybody on here had ladys first text just say hi hun had a couple text last week wanting to meet me and my partner even though my profile says single |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every now and then I get a pleasant surprise when I log in to find a message waiting. Single guys get lucky now and then and a thought out message will get through the spam folks are getting. A polite no thank you always helps.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi guys
I’m Jonny and I have been messaging on here with a year, I have sent lots of messages been really nice asking about the weekend etc, I have also tried the other version telling them how sexy they are etc.
either way the majority My messages are deleted or read and no reply’s,
Can you guys tell me if my profile sucks or is it just my shyness
Many thanks
Jonny |
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"
Yet for all these stupid messages, the people receiving them don’t seem to adjust their own approach to reduce the impact of receiving them. Single men moan about messages from other single men yet don’t take the easy step of blocking single men ? "
We actually do want to meet single men. Why would we block them? |
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"We've been knocking around this lifestyle for a good few years and we've noticed a significant decline in quality messages.
Aside from the bog standard...hey bbe want sum fuk? I'm more talking about people not bothering to read a single part of a profile and lashing out a message highlighting as such.
Or the alternative is the god awful copy and paste.
The perfect message for us is to have someone tell us what they like about our profile or ask us something based off our profile so that we could actually start a conversation.
I am grateful that you took the time to read my rant. I feel better now."
The main problem with message standards is that as a guy I can write a well thought out introduction having read the other persons profile and seeing what interests we may have in common etc etc and then you send it and quite a high percentage of the time it is bulk deleted so why would one bother? I have genuinely had more luck with a bog standard " like the profile drop me a line if you want me to send you a proper message with photo" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We've been knocking around this lifestyle for a good few years and we've noticed a significant decline in quality messages.
Aside from the bog standard...hey bbe want sum fuk? I'm more talking about people not bothering to read a single part of a profile and lashing out a message highlighting as such.
Or the alternative is the god awful copy and paste.
The perfect message for us is to have someone tell us what they like about our profile or ask us something based off our profile so that we could actually start a conversation.
I am grateful that you took the time to read my rant. I feel better now.
The main problem with message standards is that as a guy I can write a well thought out introduction having read the other persons profile and seeing what interests we may have in common etc etc and then you send it and quite a high percentage of the time it is bulk deleted so why would one bother? I have genuinely had more luck with a bog standard " like the profile drop me a line if you want me to send you a proper message with photo""
That’s actually a better approach, imo. |
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"We've been knocking around this lifestyle for a good few years and we've noticed a significant decline in quality messages.
Aside from the bog standard...hey bbe want sum fuk? I'm more talking about people not bothering to read a single part of a profile and lashing out a message highlighting as such.
Or the alternative is the god awful copy and paste.
The perfect message for us is to have someone tell us what they like about our profile or ask us something based off our profile so that we could actually start a conversation.
I am grateful that you took the time to read my rant. I feel better now.
The main problem with message standards is that as a guy I can write a well thought out introduction having read the other persons profile and seeing what interests we may have in common etc etc and then you send it and quite a high percentage of the time it is bulk deleted so why would one bother? I have genuinely had more luck with a bog standard " like the profile drop me a line if you want me to send you a proper message with photo""
sure didn't you know you're supposed to bend over backwards on here? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv sent many a message with quality content lol always put something in about the person/persons profile and a bit about myself.
When the receiver deletes without reading or reads and no reply it can be very disheartening...
Very rarely these days do I send messages"
I'm much the same... my last 4 or 5 different meets were from those who messaged me first. I haven't sent a first message with intent of meet in many months. Only ones are from forums when lending support or those flirt forums which are just games people play to pass the time away.
You only meet those who are interested so I've now let it come to me. No more watching a carefully written message read and deleted. |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
Might I suggest rather than moaning about the standard of mail both women and cpls receive ye might pick up ur typing finger and start mailing guys ye fancy you know take that first step. Read the profile and build a mail encompassing somethings from his profile putting a little effort into using the site as ye would like others to do rather than moan about it  |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"In my opening message, I didn't say it was messages from single guys. Funny how a lot of folk jumped to conclusions with that. We don't discriminate here, it's everybody!"
There's an undertone in the op that suggests single guys or am I thd only one that got that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Might I suggest rather than moaning about the standard of mail both women and cpls receive ye might pick up ur typing finger and start mailing guys ye fancy you know take that first step. Read the profile and build a mail encompassing somethings from his profile putting a little effort into using the site as ye would like others to do rather than moan about it "
Wanna fuck?  |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Might I suggest rather than moaning about the standard of mail both women and cpls receive ye might pick up ur typing finger and start mailing guys ye fancy you know take that first step. Read the profile and build a mail encompassing somethings from his profile putting a little effort into using the site as ye would like others to do rather than moan about it
Wanna fuck? "
Are u in my area |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Well we thought that putting effort into a good and precise profile might lead to better quality and interesting messages. In most cases, sadly we were mistaken. On a positive note though, the odd one does surprise us every so often but thats seldom......
Live and hope eh "
There's gems amongst the rough they are here |
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"We've been knocking around this lifestyle for a good few years and we've noticed a significant decline in quality messages.
Aside from the bog standard...hey bbe want sum fuk? I'm more talking about people not bothering to read a single part of a profile and lashing out a message highlighting as such.
Or the alternative is the god awful copy and paste.
The perfect message for us is to have someone tell us what they like about our profile or ask us something based off our profile so that we could actually start a conversation.
I am grateful that you took the time to read my rant. I feel better now.
The main problem with message standards is that as a guy I can write a well thought out introduction having read the other persons profile and seeing what interests we may have in common etc etc and then you send it and quite a high percentage of the time it is bulk deleted so why would one bother? I have genuinely had more luck with a bog standard " like the profile drop me a line if you want me to send you a proper message with photo"sure didn't you know you're supposed to bend over backwards on here?"
you been loking at my private photos again?
|
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"We've been knocking around this lifestyle for a good few years and we've noticed a significant decline in quality messages.
Aside from the bog standard...hey bbe want sum fuk? I'm more talking about people not bothering to read a single part of a profile and lashing out a message highlighting as such.
Or the alternative is the god awful copy and paste.
The perfect message for us is to have someone tell us what they like about our profile or ask us something based off our profile so that we could actually start a conversation.
I am grateful that you took the time to read my rant. I feel better now.
The main problem with message standards is that as a guy I can write a well thought out introduction having read the other persons profile and seeing what interests we may have in common etc etc and then you send it and quite a high percentage of the time it is bulk deleted so why would one bother? I have genuinely had more luck with a bog standard " like the profile drop me a line if you want me to send you a proper message with photo"sure didn't you know you're supposed to bend over backwards on here?
you been loking at my private photos again?
"
would never do such a thing. |
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By *orguyMan
over a year ago
Tuam |
This happens on every site. At the end of the day this is a sex site and once you join any sex site you have to expect some rude messages and behaviour by a certain percentage of members.
People constantly posting threads whinging about messages and telling others what to put in them and what not to put in them will never change this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its pointless writing a long message to anybody on here...nobody ever replies /"
This. 90% of my messages go unread
All well written. And rhen the shite ones I've sent as a test get more replies and some deleted |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Iv sent many a message with quality content lol always put something in about the person/persons profile and a bit about myself.
When the receiver deletes without reading or reads and no reply it can be very disheartening...
Very rarely these days do I send messages"
I agree with this a million percent I get that people have their likes and dislikes I always try and do a common courtesy of replying if I'm interested or not it does put a dampener on the site for me now I'm no angel I have send one and two word messages but when ya put the effort into a genuine message it's tough when ya see it's been deleted |
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"Might I suggest rather than moaning about the standard of mail both women and cpls receive ye might pick up ur typing finger and start mailing guys ye fancy you know take that first step. Read the profile and build a mail encompassing somethings from his profile putting a little effort into using the site as ye would like others to do rather than moan about it "
You think we never send messages? |
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"We've been knocking around this lifestyle for a good few years and we've noticed a significant decline in quality messages.
Aside from the bog standard...hey bbe want sum fuk? I'm more talking about people not bothering to read a single part of a profile and lashing out a message highlighting as such.
Or the alternative is the god awful copy and paste.
The perfect message for us is to have someone tell us what they like about our profile or ask us something based off our profile so that we could actually start a conversation.
I am grateful that you took the time to read my rant. I feel better now."
It could just be a numbers thing. Over the last few years Fab has possibly grown in popularity & has more members than ever. There’s always been a percentage of people who’d send effortless messages - there’s just more of them around these days, maybe |
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