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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So often i hear people here say that personality is what comes first and that it's not about looks when it comes to meets / attraction.
I believe those that think personality is more important are unaware of the subconscious choices they make. Iam not trying to dictate to people what or who they should go for but i think most if not all of us are totally unaware how hypocritical we are.
For example. Most people would claim they just want to meet a nice guy or perhaps a guy with a sense of humour is a priority, intelligence and so forth.
There is literally research that consistently shows that the majority of people rank various traits above looks but when it comes to real life dating / sex there decisions are made subconsciously and not consciously.
For example. Most users here or on dating sites will skim through profiles with the belief that "it's not all about looks" and that other traits are far more important but subconsciously we only ever stop to reply or investigate a profile further if there is physical attraction.
Most of us would like to think that we don't pick and choose partners or meets based on looks but the reality is that physical attraction is what dominates more then any other trait.
I just thought it was interesting to bring this up because so many people lose out here and elsewhere simply because of how they look which they have no control of and you have others that will try and insist it's nothing to do with looks which almost suggests that if you have trouble dating or meeting ppl then you have a shitty personality.
What are your thoughts on looks v personality?
Personally i can't stand the bullshit and hypocrisy of people that honestly believe they don't prioritise looks. You clearly have no awareness of your subconscious mind |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personality after first impression on looks ...yes fickle as fuck but in this lifestyle mostly the first thing u do is swop face pics then go from there so definitely 90% I'd say go on looks initially  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I read a study that basically said exactly this - people on dating sites will say, when asked, that they go for personality, but really success is determined 100% by the attractiveness of pictures *
You have to be careful when talking about bullshit and hypocrisy though - everyone has their unconscious biases and behaves differently to how they think they do - even you 
* I think it's dramatically skewed on this site for singles because of the massive gender imbalance, and so attractiveness of females is less important, and the standard for males is much higher, but the principle is almost certainly the same
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I read a study that basically said exactly this - people on dating sites will say, when asked, that they go for personality, but really success is determined 100% by the attractiveness of pictures *
You have to be careful when talking about bullshit and hypocrisy though - everyone has their unconscious biases and behaves differently to how they think they do - even you
* I think it's dramatically skewed on this site for singles because of the massive gender imbalance, and so attractiveness of females is less important, and the standard for males is much higher, but the principle is almost certainly the same
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Spot on and i include myself in my post by the way. I think we are all cruel by nature but most of us have a very poor sense of who we really are and rather pretend they are something they are not |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Looks will catch my eye. Personality will hold my attention and be more likely to lead to short or long term fun.
Same as ourselves "
Yes but looks are still the priority. So the guy that's attractive in other ways but not looks never gets a chance but the guy that's attractive at least has a chance for more potential. It's fair cruel but as is life i guess |
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