FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > The term timewaster bothers me to no end
The term timewaster bothers me to no end
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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As a really busy separated working mama of two young kids who gets one weekend off in the month id like to know what constitutes as being a timewaster? I can't just be with somebody I haven't built a repore with but logistics and timing can be a problem too...there are too many to please on here...I have got to please myself surely |
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Yeah..its very generic and the 'ultimate" insult, but just do yoyr own thing and sure if ppl call you that tgey were never ypur type anyway..
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.i think the grammar police are worse...( ahem *rapport..  ) |
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"Yeah..its very generic and the 'ultimate" insult, but just do yoyr own thing and sure if ppl call you that tgey were never ypur type anyway..
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.i think the grammar police are worse...( ahem *rapport.. )"
..with a whole heap of typos..epic fail on my behalf....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for the support hehe
Its just so passive aggressive which is a turn off...I didnt come on here to feel obligated to anybody but when you have been chatting to somebody for a while and you can't commit to a meet some people can turn on you but in a subtle way or on one occasion turn abusive on you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Thanks for the support hehe
Its just so passive aggressive which is a turn off...I didnt come on here to feel obligated to anybody but when you have been chatting to somebody for a while and you can't commit to a meet some people can turn on you but in a subtle way or on one occasion turn abusive on you"
Its unfortunate, but worthwhile in the long run, I enjoy getting to know someone here, that's important to me, regardless of anyone else's expectations. I come first in that regard.. |
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If they don't understand, especially if you have told them your current situation, though they still give you grief, they most likely aren't in the same place as you and may well be better for you if you never meet them. Inconsiderate people are often inconsiderate lovers.
With kids, things can change at the drop of a hat. If you have messaged them and let them know family life has interrupted plans, then that's your bit done. If they take it badly and follow up with Time waster comments, block them and move on. |
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Communication is the key..nobody should lead others on...i dont really meet off fab anymore so i dont mail people...but also..no-one should presume a textual relationship automatically leads to a sexual relationship..
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.im happy chatting anyone.. |
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By *K430Man
over a year ago
Tipperary |
"As a really busy separated working mama of two young kids who gets one weekend off in the month id like to know what constitutes as being a timewaster? I can't just be with somebody I haven't built a repore with but logistics and timing can be a problem too...there are too many to please on here...I have got to please myself surely"
Based on what you have said, I honestly can't see how a guy would view you as a timewaster , you're being open and clear about your commitments and priorities, all spot on I might add so any guy with an issue with that is not the kind of guy worth spending time on anyway |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Never rush or get pushed into a meet. They're a plenty to choose from if someone doesn't have the understanding for your situation just pass him by. Yes some will call you a time waster, been there, so be it. It's your profile, your call, take your time and don't do anything you might regret later on.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on what your have been saying in the messaging, how long you have been messing etc. Granted life will get in the way, I'm sure most people understand that. However, If you have been messaging guys who have made it clear they want to meet, and ye have arranged meets numerous times over the course of a number of months on your 1 weekend off or any time, and you continuously cancel, then I could see why a guy may think that. |
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"Never rush or get pushed into a meet. They're a plenty to choose from if someone doesn't have the understanding for your situation just pass him by. Yes some will call you a time waster, been there, so be it. It's your profile, your call, take your time and don't do anything you might regret later on. "
on the ball doghunter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes i know what you mean it's better to chat flirt build a rapore n then meet....but real life gets in the way of fab fun..work kids family commitments etc etc
Thsts why when mama near gets her alone time she can enjoy it more xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a really busy separated working mama of two young kids who gets one weekend off in the month id like to know what constitutes as being a timewaster? I can't just be with somebody I haven't built a repore with but logistics and timing can be a problem too...there are too many to please on here...I have got to please myself surely"
Regardless of anyone situation on fab single married attached kids or no kids.we all have busy life's .fab is only a very small part of it.when it comes to meeting good timing is a big part of it .some will expect a meet after three mails and some will chat longer and get to know you.time waster is used far to easy here on fab.
It's ur profile .ur under no obligation to meet anyone at their who discression.you meet who u want when u want and ignore the rest.this is where the block button comes in handy. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"As a really busy separated working mama of two young kids who gets one weekend off in the month id like to know what constitutes as being a timewaster? I can't just be with somebody I haven't built a repore with but logistics and timing can be a problem too...there are too many to please on here...I have got to please myself surely"
The fact that you're a 'really busy separated working mama of two young kids' isn't really relevant. Everyone has a finite amount of time and all we can do is be mindful and respectful of that.
I'm guessing that you made this post because someone that you were chatting to decided that your timeline for building a rapport was longer than they wanted. And you're a bit peeved at being labelled a timewaster whereas from your side of things, you just weren't ready to meet up.
I have decided so many times that people were timewasters, or more exactly I was wasting my time pursuing them. If I got a reply that shows they are not really interested in getting to know me or expecting me to do all the lifting. If I am waiting a week for a reply to ongoing conversation and I see them online and they don't have basic manners to say, no thanks and bye. Don't expect make a priority of someone that views me as another option.
It doesn't mean that they're bad people but more that I have decided that I am wasting my time pursing them. You do you, but also be mindful that sometimes its kinder and more respectful to recognise that other peoples time is also important to them.
If it actually gets to meets being cancelled at short notice, if you can allow that real life does get in the way. It's only fair to give people one more chance, if it happens a second time, block and learn from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As a really busy separated working mama of two young kids who gets one weekend off in the month id like to know what constitutes as being a timewaster? I can't just be with somebody I haven't built a repore with but logistics and timing can be a problem too...there are too many to please on here...I have got to please myself surely
The fact that you're a 'really busy separated working mama of two young kids' isn't really relevant. Everyone has a finite amount of time and all we can do is be mindful and respectful of that.
I'm guessing that you made this post because someone that you were chatting to decided that your timeline for building a rapport was longer than they wanted. And you're a bit peeved at being labelled a timewaster whereas from your side of things, you just weren't ready to meet up.
I have decided so many times that people were timewasters, or more exactly I was wasting my time pursuing them. If I got a reply that shows they are not really interested in getting to know me or expecting me to do all the lifting. If I am waiting a week for a reply to ongoing conversation and I see them online and they don't have basic manners to say, no thanks and bye. Don't expect make a priority of someone that views me as another option.
It doesn't mean that they're bad people but more that I have decided that I am wasting my time pursing them. You do you, but also be mindful that sometimes its kinder and more respectful to recognise that other peoples time is also important to them.
If it actually gets to meets being cancelled at short notice, if you can allow that real life does get in the way. It's only fair to give people one more chance, if it happens a second time, block and learn from it."
Well said sir   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This post isn't directed at the OP.
There are timewasters on here. I have been on this site for about 7 years on and off and have been lucky enough to get to know some wonderful folks through it. Personally speaking I think there are more timewasters than genuine folks on here. That said others opinions of ourselves are none of our business.
People will judge. People have a lack of patience. People think swing sites are like vending machines. People with an inflated ego tend to have bias towards their own profile and find it harder to see why someone may become disinterested for "no reason".
People in modern society have become accustomed to instant gratification. To get an ego stroke it's exceptionally easy through social media. A swing site goes against this for a lot of folks especially single straight males who are in vast majority of profile groups here.
The guys who know how the site works will put up a decent profile/send decent mails/not act like a petulant child if they don't get a meet . They move on with no bitterness from previous failed attempts.
The guys who expect an instant fuck after sending a pic of their cock and none of their face get annoyed their delusions aren't pandered to. They don't see the faults in their own approach and either lash out or have a pity party over it.
We are a social species and unfortunately many people can't handle social rejection.
To the OP, most people have busy lives. You are no different there so don't feel like you have to make excuses for anyone or have to change. You have other parts of your life that require priority status. Live in the moment without the weight of expectatuon of others. You do not need their permission to be yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's weird but I've found it's those with "no time wasters " or "genuine only " are precisely the biggest messers themselves.
Maybe it's the subconscious quoting back what's ringing in their ears. |
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"It's weird but I've found it's those with "no time wasters " or "genuine only " are precisely the biggest messers themselves.
Maybe it's the subconscious quoting back what's ringing in their ears. "
Must say I agree with this. Any people there has ever been an issue with arranging meets have all had no timewasters etc on profile and are the ones always banging on about the site in a negative way |
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"If they don't understand, especially if you have told them your current situation, though they still give you grief, they most likely aren't in the same place as you and may well be better for you if you never meet them. Inconsiderate people are often inconsiderate lovers.
With kids, things can change at the drop of a hat. If you have messaged them and let them know family life has interrupted plans, then that's your bit done. If they take it badly and follow up with Time waster comments, block them and move on."
This. |
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Guys on here think you can drop everything to meet,I know its a sex site,but communication is very important,and attraction to,I find I suit myself on here and just keep blocking saves my time chin up xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never rush or get pushed into a meet. They're a plenty to choose from if someone doesn't have the understanding for your situation just pass him by. Yes some will call you a time waster, been there, so be it. It's your profile, your call, take your time and don't do anything you might regret later on. "
This  |
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"It's weird but I've found it's those with "no time wasters " or "genuine only " are precisely the biggest messers themselves.
Maybe it's the subconscious quoting back what's ringing in their ears.
Must say I agree with this. Any people there has ever been an issue with arranging meets have all had no timewasters etc on profile and are the ones always banging on about the site in a negative way"
agree with this and usually these types have cringe worthy updates along the lines of an inability to walk properly due to a recently administered rogering |
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