FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Abusive Mails

Abusive Mails

By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

So I see lots of ladies profiles saying that they won’t reply to some mails or please take a polite no thanks just as that and not to receive nasty mails in return as to why not. I’ve even seen it on the status bar on some of the ladies profiles. Abusive mails just show the calibre of the person sending them and I can only imagine what that person is like in the real world if they can send such horrible words using a persona away from the real world.

I got sent some screenshots over the weekend that a lady received from some other females and I have to say, they were vile and I wouldn’t expect to see some of the words written by a man, let alone a female. Stuff like do away with yourself, we know where you live & you’ll always be hated and the general bully quotations but what makes grown adults carry on like they are just out of nappies? Is it something that they have seen their parents do and grew up with it or is a jealousy thing or is something inside themselves that they are insecure about and want to lash out. Don’t even get me started on the ones that egg them on, they are just cowards.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I firmly believe especially on a forum like this it's the people that are insecure with themselves , their body, their mind that do things like this. It takes a special kind of coward to sit behind a keyboard and type that waffle. It is waffle btw.... stupid words always remember that. Delete, block and move on. Don't be a doormat but don't let them get to you ... the real people are in your real life , keyboard warriors aren't actually real people to you.

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By *pforit74Man over a year ago

a secluded seaside cottage, ballybunion,

to anyone that receives threatening or insulting messages , for whatever the reason , just remind themselves that it is only those sending them that is showing themselves who they are , and not who you are (if that makes any sense )

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I firmly believe especially on a forum like this it's the people that are insecure with themselves , their body, their mind that do things like this. It takes a special kind of coward to sit behind a keyboard and type that waffle. It is waffle btw.... stupid words always remember that. Delete, block and move on. Don't be a doormat but don't let them get to you ... the real people are in your real life , keyboard warriors aren't actually real people to you. "

It's all very well to say delete block and move on, but if you're getting constant messages like the ones in the opening post which claim to know where you live, then DON'T DELETE. Save the message, in fact screenshot it so it doesn't disappear from your mailbox here, and block the sender. Block all new and unverified profiles from contacting you, and if you're a site supporter, block non site supporters from contacting you. If it persists and you genuinely believe that someone who is threatening you knows where you live, then go to the guards.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Very true Sally for threatening mail.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Very true Sally for threatening mail. "

^^^^ definitely this!!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I became a site Member this time round.set up my filters and not afraid to block.defintly the best thing I have done ever and I'm still here.i get no hassle very little abusive mail as I used to .there is no 100 unread random mail.advice to new people here filters on

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Horrible to read, I’ve seen forum posts re people leaving because of this.

Report them to the admin and include the screenshots so the bullies will be forced to leave.

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By *pforit74Man over a year ago

a secluded seaside cottage, ballybunion,

"Horrible to read, I’ve seen forum posts re people leaving because of this.

Report them to the admin and include the screenshots so the bullies will be forced to leave."

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I applaud the judgement of the recipients of the abusive mails in saying no or not interested , shrewd judgement in their part.

As to the senders of abusive mails this is an adult site , accept and respect decisions , move on or better still move off the site

This is speaking from a position of recieving my fair share of “no thanks “ lol

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Horrible to read, I’ve seen forum posts re people leaving because of this.

Report them to the admin and include the screenshots so the bullies will be forced to leave."

Reporting them to admin ends up with you being blocked from seeing the reported account. That then leaves the reported person free to write about you on their status without you seeing it. Admin don't force bullies to leave. I had an extended period of intense harassment here a couple of years ago. You have to help yourself because the sad fact is that admin do very little to help you. Maybe there's very little they can do, but I'm not convinced of that. Help yourself, and if you can't do that and it's becoming scary and or dangerous go to the guards. It may take time to get answers, but it means you've taken back the power that a bully tried to have over you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Great advice from all. Sadly no one can stop this happening because of the microcosm fab is. You have the good and the bad. Sadly the bad is more shocking day by day. The vast majority of people here are good and don't proclaim it from the forums they are the silent majority the real heart beat of fab. So id say to others that have been wronged its the minority here that are offensive and degrading and pity them as we are all equal here there is no person who is better stronger or weaker than the next so no one has a right to judge.

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By *pforit74Man over a year ago

a secluded seaside cottage, ballybunion,

its all about ego ,

once someone is rejected there ego is damaged and they lash out , its pure childish ,

i mean who wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you in such an intimate way in the first place ?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"its all about ego ,

once someone is rejected there ego is damaged and they lash out , its pure childish ,

i mean who wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you in such an intimate way in the first place ?"

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Single males can be guilty of this when they get rejected but I think the main culprits of these nasty messages are woman and it's pure jealousy. For a long time now the woman that make it to the top of hot pics are targeted because of pure jealousy and God help you if you get attention or dare to meet someone that these "woman" have had their eyes on. I have seen messages sent to "popular" woman threatening them off the site and it boils my blood. Nothing but cowards that sit behind their screens thinking it's OK to be nasty and belittle people. If people care so much about how many fabs are on their pics and who is meeting who they need to get a grip and move on as this scene is not the right place for you.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You always nail it, Sally

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Single males can be guilty of this when they get rejected but I think the main culprits of these nasty messages are woman and it's pure jealousy. For a long time now the woman that make it to the top of hot pics are targeted because of pure jealousy and God help you if you get attention or dare to meet someone that these "woman" have had their eyes on. I have seen messages sent to "popular" woman threatening them off the site and it boils my blood. Nothing but cowards that sit behind their screens thinking it's OK to be nasty and belittle people. If people care so much about how many fabs are on their pics and who is meeting who they need to get a grip and move on as this scene is not the right place for you. "

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

really couldn't agree more ... very sad and pathetic behaviour

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By *heilsWoman over a year ago

Midlands

I got a really nasty message last week as I had chatted a man a little, and I dared to open a message and hadn't time to reply straight away, so he decided I was a time waster and went on to describe how in the real world I'm obese, rude and would certainly be overlooked....

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I got a really nasty message last week as I had chatted a man a little, and I dared to open a message and hadn't time to reply straight away, so he decided I was a time waster and went on to describe how in the real world I'm obese, rude and would certainly be overlooked.... "

Very sad indeed. Whether it's guys or girls or couples there's no call for that crap. Hope u moved on from it quickly. Best not to take a headache table for someone else headache lol.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You always nail it, Sally

Bitter experience is a very powerful teacher x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

No one should live in fear from this kind of harassment, it can and does have a lasting and detrimental impact on peoples lives, on their mental health and well being. Why me? What have I done to deserve this?" As some of the posts suggest, some people will react to try and upset and humiliate you, coersive control is at play, and particularly online because most of our interactions are in a social vacuum" with no mutual friends to avoid alienating, there's less social pressures to keep behaviours in check. In the main people here are unlikely to enter your life in any other context.

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

I've had abusive mails without even chatting to the people who sent them.

I've also had abuse from people I was chatting to. When things don't go their way they they turn nasty. People wonder why they don't get a reply even a no. OP part of your thread says you got screenshots between girls I think that's different that sounds like two girls fighting.. Not to be confused with nasty messages that some get from men who claim to know where you are and bring family/kids into it. I know some of these messages I've received have made me very wary.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I have had a few very abusive messages recently from another woman who shall remain nameless for a while I intend to confront her in person and see what she has to say for herself then a few of you will know who this is

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Seems to be a common trait with females on hot pics getting abuse .. if not by another female then another females admirerer who doesnt think they should be posting pics ... like seriously ... when will ppl grow the fuck up

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Seems to be a common trait with females on hot pics getting abuse .. if not by another female then another females admirerer who doesnt think they should be posting pics ... like seriously ... when will ppl grow the fuck up

This is very true regarding the other females (bitch)admirer

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By *oghunter33Woman over a year ago

on the hill NordWest of

"I've had abusive mails without even chatting to the people who sent them.

Yeah I don't agree with you on the two girls fighting. The nastiest messages I got were from women, out of the blue, never talked to them, never had anything to do with them. I suspect they didn't like me talking to one of their favourite men or that my arse is bigger than theirs or something like that.

Unfortunately there are a good few of them around. It's mind boggling really what some women are up to here, and it's an utter disgrace.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Unfortunately people use the cloak of anonymity to allow the festering parts of their minds loose.

Report to admin, block, ignore, screenshot and if it's serious enough report to the authorities.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've had abusive mails without even chatting to the people who sent them.

Unfortunately there are a good few of them around. It's mind boggling really what some women are up to here, and it's an utter disgrace.

I have no intention of fighting with her I couldnt be bothered with that but a few home truths will be aired

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By *aura66Woman over a year ago

Belfast

This is very true regarding the other females (bitch)admirer"

Very true..... Flying monkeys I believe they're called. All a bit pathetic . But if you're on the receiving end of it must be horrible ...

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"Unfortunately people use the cloak of anonymity to allow the festering parts of their minds loose.

Report to admin, block, ignore, screenshot and if it's serious enough report to the authorities. "

This^^

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Exactly

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By *igBlondeDommeWoman over a year ago

middle of nowhere

"I've had abusive mails without even chatting to the people who sent them.

Unfortunately there are a good few of them around. It's mind boggling really what some women are up to here, and it's an utter disgrace.

It's sad really. Women should look after each other.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to work out who are the vile people around here and some are the so called 'popular' people..

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I've had abusive mails without even chatting to the people who sent them.

Unfortunately there are a good few of them around. It's mind boggling really what some women are up to here, and it's an utter disgrace.

It's sad really. Women should look after each other.

Exactly

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By (user no longer on site) OP over a year ago

Thanks for all the feedback from everyone, much appreciated. Seems that there’s a fair bit of this going on. Funny enough, not a single profile view I’ve had but my inbox is hopping mad with mails and some of it asking who the people are. Everyone must be in stealth mode today. I’m not getting a ban, I think it’s widely known but the person on the receiving end of it was a girl from Dublin who joined a few months ago but left before the weekend. Shame really coz she was a really nice and genuine lady.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This

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By *icecouple561Couple over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

If you're receiving abusive messages through the site report to admin they'll take a look and deal with it appropriately.

If you're receiving abusive or threatening messages off fab its a matter for the police.

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