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How young is two young
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My son is 13 and has recently started asking about sex. He has heard things in school and I'm taking golden showers, snowballing here. I of course nearly got sick when he asked what the expressions meant. I told him that me and his dad would sit down and answer any questions he had.
I guess I'm wondering how much you tell a 13 year old. I don't want him to have to much information but at the same time I want him to be properly informed about things.
He has had the basic sex talk and I am grateful he can comes to me with these questions. I rang my husband to ask him to have a chat with him and we had a giggle over what he was asking. He then said maybe it time we buy the lad some condoms to have just in case. I argued he was way to young. So at what age do you guys think giving your child condoms is appropriate? Taking into account things have changed a lot in the last number of years? |
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Our fella came home when he was 8/9 and asked what a blow job was. He was told it was something to do with sex and he was happy enough with that. Apparently a kid in his class had an I phone and was looking things up on it.
The key is to explain to them in a way that suits their mental maturity. Not too much just enough that they don't want to hear any more. If course sometimes its to the level of the parents mental maturity  |
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No harm in him having them, better he has them if he ever needed them than to have an accident at his age.... but hearing about the other stuff you mentioned at his age is frightening..... also fair play to him and ye both as parents that he is able to talk to ye about it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Legal age has to come into play here you don't want any under age sex allegations made against him either. Tell him the truth about snowballing etc or let him Google them while your with him  good luck |
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Everything you say to him must be age appropriate i know they cover sex ed in 6 class now but i think there is no need to give him condoms as he is only asking questions as kids are talking about it in school its a hard one though i have 3 daughters and it all lies ahead of me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Legal age has to come into play here you don't want any under age sex allegations made against him either. Tell him the truth about snowballing etc or let him Google them while your with him good luck
Totally agree with the sex allegations point. If I give him condoms then I feel I will be encouraging him to have sex. I don't want him having sex at that age obviously I don't think there will be a need to give him any but as he gets older I don't want him getting some poor girl pregnant. It's a catch 22 situation  "
Ackward one for yous to get a happy medium |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had the same thing last year with my daughter she was 11, she was hearing alot of things in school and was sensible enough to come ask us about them. I explained as best i could with out getting into too much but then i found a great book she read it then came and asked any questions she had and we answered them. There is a book for girls and boys,so to be prepared i bought the boys one too cause the young lad will ask questions soon |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How many here where asking the same questions at there age be honest? I did its life and now thats there smart phones an tablets its so easy for a child too google this sort of stuff is right by all means NO. Only a parent can do is explain what is and whats the dangers of it. And also put some anti porn security / parental control on there devices.. but it still doesnt stop them from going too google and clicking images an well typing what ever they wish.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Had the same thing last year with my daughter she was 11, she was hearing alot of things in school and was sensible enough to come ask us about them. I explained as best i could with out getting into too much but then i found a great book she read it then came and asked any questions she had and we answered them. There is a book for girls and boys,so to be prepared i bought the boys one too cause the young lad will ask questions soon"
Oh I might have a look for a book. That's a good idea. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"How many here where asking the same questions at there age be honest? I did its life and now thats there smart phones an tablets its so easy for a child too google this sort of stuff is right by all means NO. Only a parent can do is explain what is and whats the dangers of it. And also put some anti porn security / parental control on there devices.. but it still doesnt stop them from going too google and clicking images an well typing what ever they wish.. "
I knew what sex was at that age but not much else. I think 13 is so young. I feel I was a lot more innocent at that age  |
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Having had the same type of questions from my boys all I can say is first it's great to know that he can come to you with those questions. Secondly answer them as truthfully as you can. Condoms for a 13yr old yikes!!!. Mentally they are not ready for a sexual relationship/ encounter. Good luck OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Having had the same type of questions from my boys all I can say is first it's great to know that he can come to you with those questions. Secondly answer them as truthfully as you can. Condoms for a 13yr old yikes!!!. Mentally they are not ready for a sexual relationship/ encounter. Good luck OP."
Got to agree. 13 too young for condoms. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many here where asking the same questions at there age be honest? I did its life and now thats there smart phones an tablets its so easy for a child too google this sort of stuff is right by all means NO. Only a parent can do is explain what is and whats the dangers of it. And also put some anti porn security / parental control on there devices.. but it still doesnt stop them from going too google and clicking images an well typing what ever they wish..
I knew what sex was at that age but not much else. I think 13 is so young. I feel I was a lot more innocent at that age "
well not everyone can brought up the same some other students in the school could be brought up differently as in not a care in the world type thing. I think it just best too explain what is but also show them the affects and dangers that sex can have STDs aids warts the list is endless but you get me drift. They see the good side of sexual stuff but never the bad side well not at least till there in there late teens and even at that its pushing it. I think some parents are too blame in this with no internet protection among there devices.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a guy who never the sex talk from his parents I don't think it's a bad idea to chat with him all about it, and to make yourself sound "oblivious" to all these golden showers etc, googling together may be a good way to go about it. Maybe throw in a couple of jokes to go along with it to ease the tension. I got asked by my 14 year old cousin all about it. For some reason he thought that I was a good choice to get advice from  , but I told him honestly why condoms were used and why it's better to wait until you're older. We even discussed the masterbation topic and told him it's ok to do it, and that both makes and females do it. Not sure if you got a younger brother or male friend that he feels comfortable talking to, but could be another option. Good luck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is 13 and has recently started asking about sex. He has heard things in school and I'm taking golden showers, snowballing here. I of course nearly got sick when he asked what the expressions meant. I told him that me and his dad would sit down and answer any questions he had.
I guess I'm wondering how much you tell a 13 year old. I don't want him to have to much information but at the same time I want him to be properly informed about things.
He has had the basic sex talk and I am grateful he can comes to me with these questions. I rang my husband to ask him to have a chat with him and we had a giggle over what he was asking. He then said maybe it time we buy the lad some condoms to have just in case. I argued he was way to young. So at what age do you guys think giving your child condoms is appropriate? Taking into account things have changed a lot in the last number of years?"
im sorry for going off topic here, but do you think its appropriate to be taking golden showers, and snowballing, while trying to deal with such a sensitive subject...really!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My son is 13 and has recently started asking about sex. He has heard things in school and I'm taking golden showers, snowballing here. I of course nearly got sick when he asked what the expressions meant. I told him that me and his dad would sit down and answer any questions he had.
I guess I'm wondering how much you tell a 13 year old. I don't want him to have to much information but at the same time I want him to be properly informed about things.
He has had the basic sex talk and I am grateful he can comes to me with these questions. I rang my husband to ask him to have a chat with him and we had a giggle over what he was asking. He then said maybe it time we buy the lad some condoms to have just in case. I argued he was way to young. So at what age do you guys think giving your child condoms is appropriate? Taking into account things have changed a lot in the last number of years?im sorry for going off topic here, but do you think its appropriate to be taking golden showers, and snowballing, while trying to deal with such a sensitive subject...really!!! "
I don't but he asked about them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is 13 and has recently started asking about sex. He has heard things in school and I'm taking golden showers, snowballing here. I of course nearly got sick when he asked what the expressions meant. I told him that me and his dad would sit down and answer any questions he had.
I guess I'm wondering how much you tell a 13 year old. I don't want him to have to much information but at the same time I want him to be properly informed about things.
He has had the basic sex talk and I am grateful he can comes to me with these questions. I rang my husband to ask him to have a chat with him and we had a giggle over what he was asking. He then said maybe it time we buy the lad some condoms to have just in case. I argued he was way to young. So at what age do you guys think giving your child condoms is appropriate? Taking into account things have changed a lot in the last number of years?im sorry for going off topic here, but do you think its appropriate to be taking golden showers, and snowballing, while trying to deal with such a sensitive subject...really!!!
I don't but he asked about them "
Haha im sure it was just a typo, read your post... |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
What to say to a 13 year old without putting them in am embarrassing position that they may not ask these type of questions again it's a tuff one
We had the chat with ours as the questions arose and explained with out graphic details as much as we thought they could handle. One of the interesting conversations was around the legal age and how it may not be the girl that pushes for charges to be brought but her legal guardians as she's still under their guidance
Explaining why u use condoms even if she says she's on the pill that sti's may be hidden and could be passed from parent to child but never be detected Yes it's rare but can happen
Another funny one was how to put a condom on properly no one wanted to eat a Bannatyne in my house for a bit
One of the important ones is dispelling rumours that go about trough adolescents
She can't get pregnant if u have sex standing up
There's no such thing of pulling out in time
And cling film doesn't work as a condom
I kid u not there are those about at that tender age that will believe some of the above
Condoms for a 13yr old wouldn't be my choice unless they had the maturity to understand the consequences of their actions if it goes tits up |
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"My son is 13 and has recently started asking about sex. He has heard things in school and I'm taking golden showers, snowballing here. I of course nearly got sick when he asked what the expressions meant. I told him that me and his dad would sit down and answer any questions he had.
I guess I'm wondering how much you tell a 13 year old. I don't want him to have to much information but at the same time I want him to be properly informed about things.
He has had the basic sex talk and I am grateful he can comes to me with these questions. I rang my husband to ask him to have a chat with him and we had a giggle over what he was asking. He then said maybe it time we buy the lad some condoms to have just in case. I argued he was way to young. So at what age do you guys think giving your child condoms is appropriate? Taking into account things have changed a lot in the last number of years?"
My eldest son is 15 and we've just recently gave him condoms and I am not happy about it as it's that fine line of saying it's ok but the being safe than sorry outweighs my feelings about it.
My youngest son is 12 but they both have very differing personalities so in all honesty it really depends on the child though we've always been very open about sex and the birds and bees etc, I've been lucky where we have a good honest and Frank mother son relationship. As you say OP it is scary how much things have changed, damned if you do and damned if you don't! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Things definitely have changed. I had a five year old tell me last week that rabbit comes from... a sex shop. Needless to say I didn't know how to respond although initially with the shock I just wanted to laugh.
When it comes to things like this though I would support the view of having a very open and honest relationship with your child. Answer questions honestly and don't filter (to a certain extent). If he's 13 god only knows what he's being exposed to by peers, the internet etc. What got through to me (although I was 17) at the time was my mom opened up to me and although at first I was scarlet and horrified she made sure I saw she was being genuine and it turned into a bit of giggle. Hard to know what's right and wrong but I would pledge honesty is best |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was 13 when I first had sex. It's getting more common now at that age to do it and try things than it was for me... even though I was young at the time for it. There was people doing it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My son is 13 and has recently started asking about sex. He has heard things in school and I'm taking golden showers, snowballing here. I of course nearly got sick when he asked what the expressions meant. I told him that me and his dad would sit down and answer any questions he had.
I guess I'm wondering how much you tell a 13 year old. I don't want him to have to much information but at the same time I want him to be properly informed about things.
He has had the basic sex talk and I am grateful he can comes to me with these questions. I rang my husband to ask him to have a chat with him and we had a giggle over what he was asking. He then said maybe it time we buy the lad some condoms to have just in case. I argued he was way to young. So at what age do you guys think giving your child condoms is appropriate? Taking into account things have changed a lot in the last number of years?
My eldest son is 15 and we've just recently gave him condoms and I am not happy about it as it's that fine line of saying it's ok but the being safe than sorry outweighs my feelings about it.
My youngest son is 12 but they both have very differing personalities so in all honesty it really depends on the child though we've always been very open about sex and the birds and bees etc, I've been lucky where we have a good honest and Frank mother son relationship. As you say OP it is scary how much things have changed, damned if you do and damned if you don't!"
Bloody hell Pink - you have a 15 year old? ! |
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By *iffaWoman
over a year ago
wherever |
I completely messed up the whole sex conversation with my spawn. 13 is just too young she's still a little girl really don't even like her talking to boys and she certainly won't be going on the pill. Gonna lock her a tower like rapunzel |
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You might all need to talk to your children sooner rather than later. Gardai are encouraging parents as from today, to watch a video with their kids, on sextortion from Interpol.
This news broke just over an hour ago on breakingnews.ie.
Keeping your kids in the dark about sex, isnt protecting them.Its actually denying them the right to information on their own bodies, and you as parents should mentor, guide and protect them through a vulnerable stage in their young lives.
Teach them about sex so theyll know right from wrong when it comes to making choices and decisions. Its the best decision youll ever make for them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I completely messed up the whole sex conversation with my spawn. 13 is just too young she's still a little girl really don't even like her talking to boys and she certainly won't be going on the pill. Gonna lock her a tower like rapunzel "
I was fine with my daughter - tho I did resort to using some leaflets.
I was useless with the boys - and my husband was even worse. I just used to scream CONDOMS every time they went out.
Fortunately it worked. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You might all need to talk to your children sooner rather than later. Gardai are encouraging parents as from today, to watch a video with their kids, on sextortion from Interpol.
This news broke just over an hour ago on breakingnews.ie.
Keeping your kids in the dark about sex, isnt protecting them.Its actually denying them the right to information on their own bodies, and you as parents should mentor, guide and protect them through a vulnerable stage in their young lives.
Teach them about sex so theyll know right from wrong when it comes to making choices and decisions. Its the best decision youll ever make for them. "
I totally agree with this,that is why we didnt hide anything when the first question was asked. We did get stick from some of our friends because they said she was too young but our response to that was if shes not too young to ask the question then shes not to young to know the truth about what shes hearing in school. At least this way we know shes not goin around oblivious to whats happening and what is right or wrong |
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"You might all need to talk to your children sooner rather than later. Gardai are encouraging parents as from today, to watch a video with their kids, on sextortion from Interpol.
This news broke just over an hour ago on breakingnews.ie.
Keeping your kids in the dark about sex, isnt protecting them.Its actually denying them the right to information on their own bodies, and you as parents should mentor, guide and protect them through a vulnerable stage in their young lives.
Teach them about sex so theyll know right from wrong when it comes to making choices and decisions. Its the best decision youll ever make for them.
I totally agree with this,that is why we didnt hide anything when the first question was asked. We did get stick from some of our friends because they said she was too young but our response to that was if shes not too young to ask the question then shes not to young to know the truth about what shes hearing in school. At least this way we know shes not goin around oblivious to whats happening and what is right or wrong"
Youre right too. My youngest daughter is 11 and already showing signs of boobs and pubic hair. She cried at first when she saw them but i just explained it was part of growing up. She knows about having periods, boys and sex cos i spoke to her about it.
Kids minds are like sponges and will soak up the information and accept it.
With teens being tech- savvy these days and predators online, why would any parent not give their child the information to protect themselves too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well we gave him the talk again and allowed him to ask what ever questions he wanted. He knew a lot more than I gave him credit for. As for the condoms well lets just say and these are his words. Sticking a penis inside a girl is just gross. Like seriously ma why would anyone want to do that. It took a lot to not laugh  |
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"My son is 13 and has recently started asking about sex. He has heard things in school and I'm taking golden showers, snowballing here. I of course nearly got sick when he asked what the expressions meant. I told him that me and his dad would sit down and answer any questions he had.
I guess I'm wondering how much you tell a 13 year old. I don't want him to have to much information but at the same time I want him to be properly informed about things.
He has had the basic sex talk and I am grateful he can comes to me with these questions. I rang my husband to ask him to have a chat with him and we had a giggle over what he was asking. He then said maybe it time we buy the lad some condoms to have just in case. I argued he was way to young. So at what age do you guys think giving your child condoms is appropriate? Taking into account things have changed a lot in the last number of years?
My eldest son is 15 and we've just recently gave him condoms and I am not happy about it as it's that fine line of saying it's ok but the being safe than sorry outweighs my feelings about it.
My youngest son is 12 but they both have very differing personalities so in all honesty it really depends on the child though we've always been very open about sex and the birds and bees etc, I've been lucky where we have a good honest and Frank mother son relationship. As you say OP it is scary how much things have changed, damned if you do and damned if you don't!
Bloody hell Pink - you have a 15 year old? !"
Hahahahaha shhhhh  |
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I remember when my oldest daughter was around 9/10 and I just found out that I was pregnant. Her friend was a only child both round my house . My daughter says "mum do you have sex to have a baby" I remember cooking the dinner and half muttering yes I think so !!!!
Around the kitchen table her friend said. "My mum didn't like this sex thing not really cause she only had me" my daughter replied "mum did you enjoy it you must cause you did it three times ".. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember when my oldest daughter was around 9/10 and I just found out that I was pregnant. Her friend was a only child both round my house . My daughter says "mum do you have sex to have a baby" I remember cooking the dinner and half muttering yes I think so !!!!
Around the kitchen table her friend said. "My mum didn't like this sex thing not really cause she only had me" my daughter replied "mum did you enjoy it you must cause you did it three times ".. "
Cringe |
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my view is if they are asking about it then you definitely need to chat to them about it, doesn't matter at all what age they are because if you don't explain it to them they will simply find out somewhere else and then not bother asking you the next time they need advice. Its one of those ones as a parent you don't get a second chance with.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have kids, the eldest is 9 and I am getting the questions already Lotty.
I am drip feeding him info, like that the daddy has to give the Mam a seed and that's how the baby is formed etc
It's a hard one to call to be honest, let him figure so much out for himself and then you can connect the dots for him and buy him a family pack of condoms. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was 34 when I found out what snowballing meant. When I get to heaven I'll be asking my parents why they never told me and I had to have a girl tell me and then act it out. I missed out when I was a teen ffs.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Our fella came home when he was 8/9 and asked what a blow job was. He was told it was something to do with sex and he was happy enough with that. Apparently a kid in his class had an I phone and was looking things up on it.
The key is to explain to them in a way that suits their mental maturity. Not too much just enough that they don't want to hear any more. If course sometimes its to the level of the parents mental maturity "
8/9 year old asking about blow jobs fecking hell there suppose be innocent that age lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People here are saying 13 is too young for condoms.i agree however i found myself in a situation at 13 that was not planned and thinking back now i wish i had of been given a condom.its a tricky one it really is....... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Had the same thing last year with my daughter she was 11, she was hearing alot of things in school and was sensible enough to come ask us about them. I explained as best i could with out getting into too much but then i found a great book she read it then came and asked any questions she had and we answered them. There is a book for girls and boys,so to be prepared i bought the boys one too cause the young lad will ask questions soon
Oh I might have a look for a book. That's a good idea."
Easons always have a few good books. I teach SPHE and it's not the best syllabus really I think it leaves a lot of unanswered questions and depending on the school and the teacher it can be almost non existent.
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