FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Is the concept of good manners and been a gentleman a lost art
Is the concept of good manners and been a gentleman a lost art
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Has the fashion change or am I just old school. Are fewer and fewer guys never taught how to treat a lady . The basics , hold a door , raising from your seat when she approaches the table , walking on the outside etc. Are all of these destined to be forgotten by a whole generation . I hope not .... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is dying out but you are correct, there doesn't seem to be very many about. Even as a child I'd be leathered if I didn't get up when a woman walked into the room at our house. All you can do is pass it onto your children. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mostly in younger people because of this equal rights stuff, but some older people are following suit, doesn't mean they're not nice people or anything, |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Treating women as equals is the new chivalry and manners. "
Showing manners and respect coupled with chivalry does not and should not imply anything other than sexual equality  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Treating women as equals is the new chivalry and manners.
Showing manners and respect coupled with chivalry does not and should not imply anything other than sexual equality "
Chivalry is for neckbeards who doff their fedoras at m'ladies... Manners are for everyone, regardless of gender. |
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By *ohnandGemCouple
over a year ago
Louth/Meath/Dublin |
"Treating women as equals is the new chivalry and manners.
Showing manners and respect coupled with chivalry does not and should not imply anything other than sexual equality
Chivalry is for neckbeards who doff their fedoras at m'ladies... Manners are for everyone, regardless of gender."
This.
While I'm sure it's nice that doors are held open or chairs are pulled out, it doesn't really need to be done anymore. I'm sure there are some ladies who would look at that as the male assuming she can't do it for herself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im very much an independent lady but there is nothing more attractive than a man who wants to treat you like a lady..its very repectful and should be both ways."
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im very much an independent lady but there is nothing more attractive than a man who wants to treat you like a lady..its very repectful and should be both ways."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I definitely see that, I'm in my late 20s and when in the company of some of my friends I see they couldn't care less about manners and their girlfriends are surprised when I am so "considerate" when I'm not actually trying to do anything just be nice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im very much an independent lady but there is nothing more attractive than a man who wants to treat you like a lady..its very repectful and should be both ways."
Yes!!!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Manners and respect go a long way no matter who one is with. I think ladies do appreciate, door opened etc etc no matter what the circumstances. They might'nt say anything but they certainly like it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Manners and respect go a long way no matter who one is with. I think ladies do appreciate, door opened etc etc no matter what the circumstances. They might'nt say anything but they certainly like it."
It is just nice to be nice  |
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Its not lost but could do with attention from both genders. So rather than just rain on the guys, what about the diva women out there in fab or the real world who dont see a kind gesture being given?
Lets say this happened....
Youre holding a door for a young lady. She barges through .... looking like bambi on ice in her 6 inch heels. Chatting away on her mobile in one hand, with her fake michael kors bag in the other. Walks by without a nod of thanks or a smile in appreciation.Doesnt acknowledge you or what youve done for her.
I bet your reaction would be " thats charming" ! 
So you see, manners and chivalry come from both sides and cost nothing.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not lost but could do with attention from both genders. So rather than just rain on the guys, what about the diva women out there in fab or the real world who dont see a kind gesture being given?
Lets say this happened....
Youre holding a door for a young lady. She barges through .... looking like bambi on ice in her 6 inch heels. Chatting away on her mobile in one hand, with her fake michael kors bag in the other. Walks by without a nod of thanks or a smile in appreciation.Doesnt acknowledge you or what youve done for her.
I bet your reaction would be " thats charming" !
So you see, manners and chivalry come from both sides and cost nothing. "
True, but most men would still hold the door open for her again. Some women in work can be like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Im another very independent lady but i do very much enjoy when he holds open the door so i can pass through first,stands when i enter a room...ahhh it melts my little heart
Its really the little things... |
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"Its not lost but could do with attention from both genders. So rather than just rain on the guys, what about the diva women out there in fab or the real world who dont see a kind gesture being given?
Lets say this happened....
Youre holding a door for a young lady. She barges through .... looking like bambi on ice in her 6 inch heels. Chatting away on her mobile in one hand, with her fake michael kors bag in the other. Walks by without a nod of thanks or a smile in appreciation.Doesnt acknowledge you or what youve done for her.
I bet your reaction would be " thats charming" !
So you see, manners and chivalry come from both sides and cost nothing.
True, but most men would still hold the door open for her again. Some women in work can be like that. "
Why would they/you hold a door again? Because its been instilled into them/ you from an early age and its a natural normal thing to do.Unfortunately ive witnessed myself, a lack of manners on a womans part. My point being, it needs attention from both genders and not just from one.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Im another very independent lady but i do very much enjoy when he holds open the door so i can pass through first,stands when i enter a room...ahhh it melts my little heart
Its really the little things..."
So very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not lost but could do with attention from both genders. So rather than just rain on the guys, what about the diva women out there in fab or the real world who dont see a kind gesture being given?
Lets say this happened....
Youre holding a door for a young lady. She barges through .... looking like bambi on ice in her 6 inch heels. Chatting away on her mobile in one hand, with her fake michael kors bag in the other. Walks by without a nod of thanks or a smile in appreciation.Doesnt acknowledge you or what youve done for her.
I bet your reaction would be " thats charming" !
So you see, manners and chivalry come from both sides and cost nothing.
True, but most men would still hold the door open for her again. Some women in work can be like that.
Why would they/you hold a door again? Because its been instilled into them/ you from an early age and its a natural normal thing to do.Unfortunately ive witnessed myself, a lack of manners on a womans part. My point being, it needs attention from both genders and not just from one. "
Miss such wisdom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not lost but could do with attention from both genders. So rather than just rain on the guys, what about the diva women out there in fab or the real world who dont see a kind gesture being given?
Lets say this happened....
Youre holding a door for a young lady. She barges through .... looking like bambi on ice in her 6 inch heels. Chatting away on her mobile in one hand, with her fake michael kors bag in the other. Walks by without a nod of thanks or a smile in appreciation.Doesnt acknowledge you or what youve done for her.
I bet your reaction would be " thats charming" !
So you see, manners and chivalry come from both sides and cost nothing.
True, but most men would still hold the door open for her again. Some women in work can be like that.
Why would they/you hold a door again? Because its been instilled into them/ you from an early age and its a natural normal thing to do.Unfortunately ive witnessed myself, a lack of manners on a womans part. My point being, it needs attention from both genders and not just from one. "
I think it'd just a people thing rather than gender, some people are polite, some are rude, but you're right that it has been instilled, if I ever forget to check behind me when going through a door, and someone is following, I do over apologise |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think boy's are definitely influenced by the behaviour of the patriarch of the family. It's my personal view that how you treat a woman is learned and copied when growing up. I also think that a woman who brings a boy up on her own can be just as positive an influence and I think other male members often help out in those situations like grandparents or uncle's etc. Obviously males growing up in abusive family homes is another tangent this conversation could go. Would a man strive to be better towards women cause his father wasn't to his own mother?
I rarely encounter rude men but I certainly don't expect a guy to rise when I enter or open doors but it's nice when it does happen. I think those behaviours are gender neutral. I get up and greet people at a table and I've held many a door open.
Manners are my main gripe. The ability to say please and thank you is lost by some, both men and women. People need to smile more and be more courteous.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I rarely encounter rude men but I certainly don't expect a guy to rise when I enter
"
I'd certainly rise if you entered the room 
In reality I've never heard of anyone standing when a woman enters a room and I'm middle aged, mannerly and respectful (the opening of this post aside of course  ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I rarely encounter rude men but I certainly don't expect a guy to rise when I enter
I'd certainly rise if you entered the room
In reality I've never heard of anyone standing when a woman enters a room and I'm middle aged, mannerly and respectful (the opening of this post aside of course )"
I've seen my Dad and family do this. Only at family thing's in the house. So yeah he would always get up if a lady came into our house. A kiss, a hug or handshake depending on who and how well he knows the person. In fairness everyone gets a good welcome |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Clarion calls for chivalry really piss me off. Chivalry was a code of conduct adopted by medieval noblemen regarding how they should treat the weak... Politness and etiquette are something else entirely, and are to be valued - treating people that you don't know well, for the simple reason that they're people.
I don't hold doors open for thanks, I do it because I'd feel like a prick if I barged in ahead of others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think boy's are definitely influenced by the behaviour of the patriarch of the family. It's my personal view that how you treat a woman is learned and copied when growing up. I also think that a woman who brings a boy up on her own can be just as positive an influence and I think other male members often help out in those situations like grandparents or uncle's etc. Obviously males growing up in abusive family homes is another tangent this conversation could go. Would a man strive to be better towards women cause his father wasn't to his own mother?
I rarely encounter rude men but I certainly don't expect a guy to rise when I enter or open doors but it's nice when it does happen. I think those behaviours are gender neutral. I get up and greet people at a table and I've held many a door open.
Manners are my main gripe. The ability to say please and thank you is lost by some, both men and women. People need to smile more and be more courteous. "
Love this x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only B word ladies should be called is Beautiful.
Bitches love to be called Beautiful
*don't hit me i was kidding*
I know i've always been polite, and a gentleman to ladies & men ! Because why should your be polite to one gender and not the other ? (: |
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"Has the fashion change or am I just old school. Are fewer and fewer guys never taught how to treat a lady . The basics , hold a door , raising from your seat when she approaches the table , walking on they outside etc. Are all of these destined to be forgotten by a whole generation . I hope not ...."
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You might be old school but that's the best way as good manners is a sign of being a decent human being. A lot of us were brought up to give up seat for oaps, open doors and not generally not make a rams arse of yourself in public.
Luckily, I've met some classy, charming gents and ladies here Behind bedroom doors though, different story
Gent outside the bedroom is the best way |
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By *ean0001Man
over a year ago
Dublin West |
Im old school so i open doors or step back to let the lady go first and i hold doors open.
And if im on a busy train or bus i would always give up my seat for a lady or older person.
Some appreciate it. Others dont. One lady had a go at me for offering her my seat but thankfully thats in a minority.
A little manners and kindness goes a long way in my opinion. Even if its only saying hello to someone if you pass them in the corridor or step into a lift.
But then again im old school so maybe its me thats out of date. |
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Im independent too.....sometimes too much but still love being in a gentlemans company that has the old fashion values. Being treated like a lady is such a turn on.... .bedroom completely different |
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"Im old school so i open doors or step back to let the lady go first and i hold doors open.
And if im on a busy train or bus i would always give up my seat for a lady or older person.
Some appreciate it. Others dont. One lady had a go at me for offering her my seat but thankfully thats in a minority.
A little manners and kindness goes a long way in my opinion. Even if its only saying hello to someone if you pass them in the corridor or step into a lift.
But then again im old school so maybe its me thats out of date. "
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One of the basic human needs is to be acknowledged by another human being, so is it even "old school" to make eye contact, smile and say "hello" to someone??
To me, I don't think being a gent is out of date, it's more that some people have forgotten how to interact with others socially as technology has taken over many people's lives...
Maybe just best for all to get offline and on life more! |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
"Im independent too.....sometimes too much but still love being in a gentlemans company that has the old fashion values. Being treated like a lady is such a turn on.... .bedroom completely different "
Completely  |
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"Has the fashion change or am I just old school. Are fewer and fewer guys never taught how to treat a lady . The basics , hold a door , raising from your seat when she approaches the table , walking on the outside etc. Are all of these destined to be forgotten by a whole generation . I hope not ...."
I do like good manners.... though in a cool way not tripping over themselves for me I'd die laughing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The point of manners is that you have and show them because it's proper, not so that you get little bits of positive reinforcement for strangers.
So, if you're peeved that someone didn't thank you for holding the door, then you're doing it wrong. |
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This is a great forum as over the last few years guys have swerved away from acting like a gent in favour of being "a player" and venturing more into the "Pick Up Community" where being an ignorant alpha male who dishes out veiled compliments and "negs" women is encouraged...
I think a man can be a gentlemen, charming and cheeky as well. I used to hate been referred to as "a gent" by non-fabbers. These days I graciously accept and smile inside!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Treat her like a slut on the street and a slut in the bedroom. Cause thats what she is, why put on the horse and dog show?
Dont hold open a door, dont pull out a chair, treat her like everyone else, if they want the same pay as me they can open the door themselves on the way into the building. |
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"This is a great forum as over the last few years guys have swerved away from acting like a gent in favour of being "a player" and venturing more into the "Pick Up Community" where being an ignorant alpha male who dishes out veiled compliments and "negs" women is encouraged...
I think a man can be a gentlemen, charming and cheeky as well. I used to hate been referred to as "a gent" by non-fabbers. These days I graciously accept and smile inside!! "
Well said there are a few wannabe gents on here who just can't get away from their alpha male and player personality. They say one thing to one person and then dis them to the next cos they have no concept of friendship and general human respect. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is a great forum as over the last few years guys have swerved away from acting like a gent in favour of being "a player" and venturing more into the "Pick Up Community" where being an ignorant alpha male who dishes out veiled compliments and "negs" women is encouraged...
I think a man can be a gentlemen, charming and cheeky as well. I used to hate been referred to as "a gent" by non-fabbers. These days I graciously accept and smile inside!!
Well said there are a few wannabe gents on here who just can't get away from their alpha male and player personality. They say one thing to one person and then dis them to the next cos they have no concept of friendship and general human respect. "
Not quite sure what an alpha male is... successful high Emotional Intelligence perhaps maybe aware of others and acts accordingly perhaps.
But whatever you consider an alpha male to be those who see and appreciate others of all genders treat people with respect and even do that old fashioned stuff like holding doors open etc...
That's not about labels it's how we see connect with and demonstrate our respect and concern for others.
Or maybe I'm just in the wrong century
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"This is a great forum as over the last few years guys have swerved away from acting like a gent in favour of being "a player" and venturing more into the "Pick Up Community" where being an ignorant alpha male who dishes out veiled compliments and "negs" women is encouraged...
I think a man can be a gentlemen, charming and cheeky as well. I used to hate been referred to as "a gent" by non-fabbers. These days I graciously accept and smile inside!!
Well said there are a few wannabe gents on here who just can't get away from their alpha male and player personality. They say one thing to one person and then dis them to the next cos they have no concept of friendship and general human respect. "
Not just gents with that one. Happens alot on this site all thinking they can get away with it but comes back biting everytime through the jungle drums on fab |
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