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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Firstly, I just wish to stress the the following post is strongly tongue in cheek 
No doubt done before but inspired by the not too distant 'verifications and their true meanings' thread, I thought we all may have our own definitions and light hearted interpretations for certain profile sayings, buzzwords and characteristics 
I'm sure there's plenty and we all have our own! Remeber, my tongue is firmly in my cheek 
Athletic = USSR era Shot Put physique
35 years old = 53 years old
Slim = Can still fit through a door
Parties & socials only = Alcoholic
Genuine = Won't turn up
Have Kik/Whatsapp/e-mail = Gimme all your pics
VWE = I've mastered the zoom on my phone
Never had any complaints = Because I've never met anyone off here
Up for anything = DEAR GOD, PLEASE, JUST PICK ME!
Good hygiene is a must = I have a glove box full of KFC wet wipes
Experienced = Chronic masterbater
No face pics because of work = I look like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle
Professional = Won't turn up
Can't accommodate = Wife's always at home
Can't travel = Wife's taken the car to work
Looking for 18-99 = Will ride anything
Looking NSA fun = Will ride anything
Not looking to bed the site = Will ride anything
Generous = Will let you ride me
6' = 5'6"
Social drinks first = Get me d*unk and I'm yours
Reliable = Won't turn up
Dominant = Caught the last 30 minutes of '50 Shades' on TV last night
Adventurous = Hoor
Gym fit = Had a free trial membership in '03
Genuine, reliable professional = Your own fault if you still expect me to turn up at this point
*runs off to check profile |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fiery = Psychotic. Turn back quick. Delete! Delete! Delete!
Stunner = Stunned how you ever went there.
Great Personality = Ugly as fook.
AGE 34 = Age 43.
Fun = Annoying
Lives life to the full = Lives with mammy.
Can't accommodate = Lives with mammy.
A challenge = High maintenance pain in the arse.
Easy going = Will fuck anything.
Loyal = Stalker. This brain cannot process the words: 'I don't think you're quite right for me.'
Sensitive = Will go ape shit if you don't notice her new pic, new fringe, new status and other banal shite.
Honest = Says whatever comes into their head first. Mostly derogatory stuff about other fabbers.
Rugby Athletic = Who ate all the pies? 
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm ecstatic! According to this I'm still Slim! Excellent. Rushes off to update profile and be a lying bastard "
It's the 'adventurous with good hygiene a must' updates I'd keep an eye on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lives life to the full = addicted to several illegal substances
Clean = well, I showered on Sunday
Love party invites = can't even get a coffee meet
We're not hardened swingers = in denial
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Was here before = Maybe if I do a new profile I can mail those that blocked me last time.
Not meeting at the moment = The Rash hasn't cleared up yet.
Whoop Whoop Road Trip Time = I can't get a local meet for love nor money.
I have a busy life outside of fab = If I pull in pub I won't be looking for a meet here.
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