FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > "Its nice to be nice, and its good to be good "
"Its nice to be nice, and its good to be good "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Conversation between the two of us about Fab at the moment, there is a real bad vibe floating around the site.
The messages seem to have become more negative and insulting. Some sound people have had some horrible experiences and their confidence shaken.
My (Jesse) gut reaction is can everyone just get along, but that's obviously simplistic Mammy inside me throwing her hands up. Surely people who swing actually like people? Are not just looking for a dark hole or a long pole to play with?
Respect, that's the key, yes you can indulge in nsa sex and be respectful, and respect yourself.
What can all of us do to make Fab a safe place for people to indulge their hedonistic fantasies, because that's better for everyone.
Yes btw I am a "plain clothes hippy" as a friend of mine says.
Jess x |
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By *cjoyCouple
over a year ago
Galway |
Couldn't agree more! Part of the reason we are taking a long break from meeting is because of the drama and b******t. Hearing other people's horror stories just doesn't help.
We love meeting and love the social as well as the play side of things but it just feels like hard work for the last while.
Trying to keep positive and hope that things get a bit better around here  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You know the "munch" idea on another site? No pressure coffee? Groups of people once a month, purely vanilla? Am I being naive or would that take pressure of expectation off people? Coffee and a scone (damn you gluten) and a laugh in a group of people no pressure, no expectation no sting of rejection?
Am I too sunshine lollipops today? |
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Peace and Love is a lovely message indeed  ...
and I agree with you, but am also finding some (now, not all...) people here being abrupt, bitchy and downright rude. Have started getting more trigger happy with the block button (...and I'm a guy FFS!!!)
So I guess...
Love, light and one big group hug
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would have to agree with you a friendly maybe suggestive chat with no expectations can be fun! Respect and good chat doesn't take alot of effort just a mind set! Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Its like a standoff....
Man messages woman, or couple they know they aren't interested and delete message, man feels awful and negative and angry, then that is expressed.
Why do I personally delete a message if not interested? Because if we are nice and chat then say actually you look like my brother so we aren't interested (or whatever) then the man feels really rejected, and the vile bile rises and he expresses that at us or another poor girl or couple....
Everyone is hurt, everyone is on edge....cycle begins again |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Peace and Love is a lovely message indeed ...
and I agree with you, but am also finding some (now, not all...) people here being abrupt, bitchy and downright rude. Have started getting more trigger happy with the block button (...and I'm a guy FFS!!!)
So I guess...
Love, light and one big group hug
"
Cuddle party! |
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By *eebawMan
over a year ago
. |
In my time on here iv met all sorts and heard of all sorts . Iv met some fantastic genuine people and iv met some terrible people also but i sopose thats expected eh , some people are just on here soley to get there hole and they dont do any social interaction at all just wam bam bye now lol . For me there has to be a connection and an attractivness . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You know the "munch" idea on another site? No pressure coffee? Groups of people once a month, purely vanilla? Am I being naive or would that take pressure of expectation off people? Coffee and a scone (damn you gluten) and a laugh in a group of people no pressure, no expectation no sting of rejection?
Am I too sunshine lollipops today?"
Nope and heres why...to water don the hatred you need new blood. A gathering like this brings newbies into the site in an easy way and puts a face to the name. Plus when you meet and talk to someone its far more difficult to talk s**t about them...I think its a great idea actually  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You know the "munch" idea on another site? No pressure coffee? Groups of people once a month, purely vanilla? Am I being naive or would that take pressure of expectation off people? Coffee and a scone (damn you gluten) and a laugh in a group of people no pressure, no expectation no sting of rejection?
Am I too sunshine lollipops today?
Nope and heres why...to water don the hatred you need new blood. A gathering like this brings newbies into the site in an easy way and puts a face to the name. Plus when you meet and talk to someone its far more difficult to talk s**t about them...I think its a great idea actually "
exactly, you took my mumbo and made it jumbo!
New blood...or people who lurk but don't socially engage so it's hard to figure them out! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In my time on here iv met all sorts and heard of all sorts . Iv met some fantastic genuine people and iv met some terrible people also but i sopose thats expected eh , some people are just on here soley to get there hole and they dont do any social interaction at all just wam bam bye now lol . For me there has to be a connection and an attractivness . "
problem is though, the people who just want the hole get antsy when they are told that hole is temporarily out of service |
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"You know the "munch" idea on another site? No pressure coffee? Groups of people once a month, purely vanilla? Am I being naive or would that take pressure of expectation off people? Coffee and a scone (damn you gluten) and a laugh in a group of people no pressure, no expectation no sting of rejection?
Am I too sunshine lollipops today?
Nope and heres why...to water don the hatred you need new blood. A gathering like this brings newbies into the site in an easy way and puts a face to the name. Plus when you meet and talk to someone its far more difficult to talk s**t about them...I think its a great idea actually
exactly, you took my mumbo and made it jumbo!
New blood...or people who lurk but don't socially engage so it's hard to figure them out!"
---------------------------------------
"There are no strangers here only friends who have not yet met"
Don't think Yates was talking about Fab though...  |
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Well there were the various "falling outs" between the various 'groups' last year which has festered and festered like a Clan War.
If one got on with someone then they fell out with others who had an axe to grind so the various factions that exist have divided FAB and it's going down the pan VERY quick!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We also love the social side it's great to meet people who are "like filthy minded " as for the negativity and crap on the forums we ignore ,pure and simple , real life is too busy and full of crap without other people's bs so if we don't like we ignore , I've gotten the same with messages , I used to try with them but hey life is too short so love us or hate us we are only here for fun
Xx |
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By *avie tCouple
over a year ago
otherside of nowhere |
"We also love the social side it's great to meet people who are "like filthy minded " as for the negativity and crap on the forums we ignore ,pure and simple , real life is too busy and full of crap without other people's bs so if we don't like we ignore , I've gotten the same with messages , I used to try with them but hey life is too short so love us or hate us we are only here for fun
Xx "
Thanks for writing that...saved me doing it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the social side of Fab is "so underrated" by some members here. as many here know I travel to Ireland for a week every month on business and I have had some "great social meets" some of which have escalated to fun but others have just become "social friends" and indeed people I have met again for a drink and some craic.
I know Fab is a Swingers Site and for some then just a Sex Site but I think there are plenty here who like the "social aspect" of chatting, teasing and saying where that takes us all.
I think it would certainly make it a friendlier site too... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think the social side of Fab is "so underrated" by some members here. as many here know I travel to Ireland for a week every month on business and I have had some "great social meets" some of which have escalated to fun but others have just become "social friends" and indeed people I have met again for a drink and some craic.
I know Fab is a Swingers Site and for some then just a Sex Site but I think there are plenty here who like the "social aspect" of chatting, teasing and saying where that takes us all.
I think it would certainly make it a friendlier site too... "
Agree. Although I think some people forget that you can use the site as you please. Some really enjoy the social aspect but may never play. Same as there are those that use the site for cam fun and the chat room or forum's. All should be respected. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think the social side of Fab is "so underrated" by some members here. as many here know I travel to Ireland for a week every month on business and I have had some "great social meets" some of which have escalated to fun but others have just become "social friends" and indeed people I have met again for a drink and some craic.
I know Fab is a Swingers Site and for some then just a Sex Site but I think there are plenty here who like the "social aspect" of chatting, teasing and saying where that takes us all.
I think it would certainly make it a friendlier site too... "
we've made some lovely friends.....I was beginning to think we were freaks! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I think the social side of Fab is "so underrated" by some members here. as many here know I travel to Ireland for a week every month on business and I have had some "great social meets" some of which have escalated to fun but others have just become "social friends" and indeed people I have met again for a drink and some craic.
I know Fab is a Swingers Site and for some then just a Sex Site but I think there are plenty here who like the "social aspect" of chatting, teasing and saying where that takes us all.
I think it would certainly make it a friendlier site too...
Agree. Although I think some people forget that you can use the site as you please. Some really enjoy the social aspect but may never play. Same as there are those that use the site for cam fun and the chat room or forum's. All should be respected."
totally agree....different strokes for different folks
Real life puts us in enough boxes, its nice to just "be" here.
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my experience men are bigger gossip mongers than the girls...
They want to know everything...
For their "safety" then run when the shit hits the fan leaving the girls to sort things out...
Meh....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You know the "munch" idea on another site? No pressure coffee? Groups of people once a month, purely vanilla? Am I being naive or would that take pressure of expectation off people? Coffee and a scone (damn you gluten) and a laugh in a group of people no pressure, no expectation no sting of rejection?
Am I too sunshine lollipops today?
Nope and heres why...to water don the hatred you need new blood. A gathering like this brings newbies into the site in an easy way and puts a face to the name. Plus when you meet and talk to someone its far more difficult to talk s**t about them...I think its a great idea actually
exactly, you took my mumbo and made it jumbo!
New blood...or people who lurk but don't socially engage so it's hard to figure them out!
---------------------------------------
"There are no strangers here only friends who have not yet met"
Don't think Yates was talking about Fab though... "
lots of swingers in Sligo though....Yeats was no slouch himself, I'd say they had their fill of fun! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been mostly very lucky with the people I've met and the people I've chatted to. I'm a very ordinary person, I don't think I'm God's gift, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league or better than anyone else, and when I respond to messages I feel that people 'get' my personality and know that we're equal.
I've seen some very unkind stuff in the forum, I've seen people ganged up on for no obvious reason, and I've seen the gangs get bigger as time goes on. My rule for life, not just for fab is to try to treat people the way I'd want them to treat me. It works most of the time, and when it doesn't I let it go. Life's too short to bother with nasty stuff, there are plenty of kind and decent people around, so I gravitate towards them and hope they find me the same. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couldn't agree more! Part of the reason we are taking a long break from meeting is because of the drama and b******t. Hearing other people's horror stories just doesn't help.
We love meeting and love the social as well as the play side of things but it just feels like hard work for the last while.
Trying to keep positive and hope that things get a bit better around here "
Absolutely agree but I've noticed even some people who post here and come across as friendly and sociable have that nasty streak that they have no problem using (first hand experience) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I have been mostly very lucky with the people I've met and the people I've chatted to. I'm a very ordinary person, I don't think I'm God's gift, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league or better than anyone else, and when I respond to messages I feel that people 'get' my personality and know that we're equal.
I've seen some very unkind stuff in the forum, I've seen people ganged up on for no obvious reason, and I've seen the gangs get bigger as time goes on. My rule for life, not just for fab is to try to treat people the way I'd want them to treat me. It works most of the time, and when it doesn't I let it go. Life's too short to bother with nasty stuff, there are plenty of kind and decent people around, so I gravitate towards them and hope they find me the same. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been mostly very lucky with the people I've met and the people I've chatted to. I'm a very ordinary person, I don't think I'm God's gift, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league or better than anyone else, and when I respond to messages I feel that people 'get' my personality and know that we're equal.
I've seen some very unkind stuff in the forum, I've seen people ganged up on for no obvious reason, and I've seen the gangs get bigger as time goes on. My rule for life, not just for fab is to try to treat people the way I'd want them to treat me. It works most of the time, and when it doesn't I let it go. Life's too short to bother with nasty stuff, there are plenty of kind and decent people around, so I gravitate towards them and hope they find me the same.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couldn't agree more! Part of the reason we are taking a long break from meeting is because of the drama and b******t. Hearing other people's horror stories just doesn't help.
We love meeting and love the social as well as the play side of things but it just feels like hard work for the last while.
Trying to keep positive and hope that things get a bit better around here Absolutely agree but I've noticed even some people who post here and come across as friendly and sociable have that nasty streak that they have no problem using (first hand experience) "
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"Conversation between the two of us about Fab at the moment, there is a real bad vibe floating around the site.
The messages seem to have become more negative and insulting. Some sound people have had some horrible experiences and their confidence shaken.
My (Jesse) gut reaction is can everyone just get along, but that's obviously simplistic Mammy inside me throwing her hands up. Surely people who swing actually like people? Are not just looking for a dark hole or a long pole to play with?
Respect, that's the key, yes you can indulge in nsa sex and be respectful, and respect yourself.
What can all of us do to make Fab a safe place for people to indulge their hedonistic fantasies, because that's better for everyone.
Yes btw I am a "plain clothes hippy" as a friend of mine says.
Jess x"
.
You noticed too!! |
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Is it me but there seem to be more dodgy profiles than ever. Has a couple where the man chatted and sent pics etc but then abruptly left site. Had a dodgy vibe all along about it. Another girl messaged last night and has left the site. Why can't people be honest? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its a no win situation.I personally love the social side of swinging( meeting for drinks, coffee and a chat). Maybe some people think that fab is all about screwing everything and anything , if thats the case. They are going to be dissapointed. Hence the bad vibe that is floatin around.Thats just my opinion |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been mostly very lucky with the people I've met and the people I've chatted to. I'm a very ordinary person, I don't think I'm God's gift, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league or better than anyone else, and when I respond to messages I feel that people 'get' my personality and know that we're equal.
I've seen some very unkind stuff in the forum, I've seen people ganged up on for no obvious reason, and I've seen the gangs get bigger as time goes on. My rule for life, not just for fab is to try to treat people the way I'd want them to treat me. It works most of the time, and when it doesn't I let it go. Life's too short to bother with nasty stuff, there are plenty of kind and decent people around, so I gravitate towards them and hope they find me the same. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have been mostly very lucky with the people I've met and the people I've chatted to. I'm a very ordinary person, I don't think I'm God's gift, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league or better than anyone else, and when I respond to messages I feel that people 'get' my personality and know that we're equal.
I've seen some very unkind stuff in the forum, I've seen people ganged up on for no obvious reason, and I've seen the gangs get bigger as time goes on. My rule for life, not just for fab is to try to treat people the way I'd want them to treat me. It works most of the time, and when it doesn't I let it go. Life's too short to bother with nasty stuff, there are plenty of kind and decent people around, so I gravitate towards them and hope they find me the same. "
So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention... |
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Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other. The divisive ones are all long gone at this stage thankfully, and my personal opinion is that it's not as bad as it used to be at one time. Having said that, I'm not getting the abusive messages that some appear to be getting so it's easy for me to say it's all fine. Why do people send abusive messages? What's to be gained from that? Surely if the objective is to meet people then being abusive is counter productive? I'll never understand people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other. The divisive ones are all long gone at this stage thankfully, and my personal opinion is that it's not as bad as it used to be at one time. Having said that, I'm not getting the abusive messages that some appear to be getting so it's easy for me to say it's all fine. Why do people send abusive messages? What's to be gained from that? Surely if the objective is to meet people then being abusive is counter productive? I'll never understand people. "
I don't get abusive messages - which surprises me. It must annoy them to fuck when my filters won't let them send a message
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the last couple of weeks I have found that the site has changed an awful lot and not for the better. I have received some very abusive and offensive messages lately that has led me to hiding my profile and even contemplating leaving the site.
The fun seems to have disappeared for some reason. Even the forums have gotten very bitchy that some people are afraid to comment on them in fear that they will be jumped on for having an opinion. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In the last couple of weeks I have found that the site has changed an awful lot and not for the better. I have received some very abusive and offensive messages lately that has led me to hiding my profile and even contemplating leaving the site.
The fun seems to have disappeared for some reason. Even the forums have gotten very bitchy that some people are afraid to comment on them in fear that they will be jumped on for having an opinion. "
Sorry you have had such bad luck, real world isn't too bad you know? A week in Ibiza is what you need!
Hugs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other. The divisive ones are all long gone at this stage thankfully, and my personal opinion is that it's not as bad as it used to be at one time. Having said that, I'm not getting the abusive messages that some appear to be getting so it's easy for me to say it's all fine. Why do people send abusive messages? What's to be gained from that? Surely if the objective is to meet people then being abusive is counter productive? I'll never understand people. "
Agreed, two years ago I remember jealousy, bitchines,sarcasm, judgemental people, competition between girls. ) different profiles tho... Same old thing to be honest.
Actually I think people are more busy doing meets and having fun than hanging around on the forums. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other. The divisive ones are all long gone at this stage thankfully, and my personal opinion is that it's not as bad as it used to be at one time. Having said that, I'm not getting the abusive messages that some appear to be getting so it's easy for me to say it's all fine. Why do people send abusive messages? What's to be gained from that? Surely if the objective is to meet people then being abusive is counter productive? I'll never understand people.
I don't get abusive messages - which surprises me. It must annoy them to fuck when my filters won't let them send a message
"
I'm happy you are having a good experience, you. Are a really buoyant person who is positive? so maybe these people are like bullies in the real world, they pick their targets
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other. The divisive ones are all long gone at this stage thankfully, and my personal opinion is that it's not as bad as it used to be at one time. Having said that, I'm not getting the abusive messages that some appear to be getting so it's easy for me to say it's all fine. Why do people send abusive messages? What's to be gained from that? Surely if the objective is to meet people then being abusive is counter productive? I'll never understand people.
Agreed, two years ago I remember jealousy, bitchines,sarcasm, judgemental people, competition between girls. ) different profiles tho... Same old thing to be honest.
Actually I think people are more busy doing meets and having fun than hanging around on the forums. "
I think I didn't explain myself, I wasn't talking about forums as I don't frequent them I meant a level of negativity in messages, not just ones I had received.
Hope I cleared that up |
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"You know the "munch" idea on another site? No pressure coffee? Groups of people once a month, purely vanilla? Am I being naive or would that take pressure of expectation off people? Coffee and a scone (damn you gluten) and a laugh in a group of people no pressure, no expectation no sting of rejection?
Am I too sunshine lollipops today?"
have to agree with you on this one, as one who attends said munchs, they are great and a really nice atmosphere where the only thing people expect is the pleasurable company of other like minded people, would be great to have such an event in this lifestyle where people attend with the purpose of getting to know people not just sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other. The divisive ones are all long gone at this stage thankfully, and my personal opinion is that it's not as bad as it used to be at one time. Having said that, I'm not getting the abusive messages that some appear to be getting so it's easy for me to say it's all fine. Why do people send abusive messages? What's to be gained from that? Surely if the objective is to meet people then being abusive is counter productive? I'll never understand people.
Agreed, two years ago I remember jealousy, bitchines,sarcasm, judgemental people, competition between girls. ) different profiles tho... Same old thing to be honest.
Actually I think people are more busy doing meets and having fun than hanging around on the forums. "
I think you'll find a lot of people that use the forums have a lot of meets. Both social and play |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other.... "
No MM, it's not as bad as it could be a while ago, new people are being exposed to the forum and it's little nuggets while a lot of the sensible people have moved on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other. The divisive ones are all long gone at this stage thankfully, and my personal opinion is that it's not as bad as it used to be at one time. Having said that, I'm not getting the abusive messages that some appear to be getting so it's easy for me to say it's all fine. Why do people send abusive messages? What's to be gained from that? Surely if the objective is to meet people then being abusive is counter productive? I'll never understand people.
Agreed, two years ago I remember jealousy, bitchines,sarcasm, judgemental people, competition between girls. ) different profiles tho... Same old thing to be honest.
Actually I think people are more busy doing meets and having fun than hanging around on the forums.
I think I didn't explain myself, I wasn't talking about forums as I don't frequent them I meant a level of negativity in messages, not just ones I had received.
Hope I cleared that up"
Ohh well I think I've been lucky I only got like 5 nasty messages in two years here on fab... Ignored them completely |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other. The divisive ones are all long gone at this stage thankfully, and my personal opinion is that it's not as bad as it used to be at one time. Having said that, I'm not getting the abusive messages that some appear to be getting so it's easy for me to say it's all fine. Why do people send abusive messages? What's to be gained from that? Surely if the objective is to meet people then being abusive is counter productive? I'll never understand people.
Agreed, two years ago I remember jealousy, bitchines,sarcasm, judgemental people, competition between girls. ) different profiles tho... Same old thing to be honest.
Actually I think people are more busy doing meets and having fun than hanging around on the forums.
I think you'll find a lot of people that use the forums have a lot of meets. Both social and play"
Yes some of them ... I didn't say the opposite. |
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other....
No MM, it's not as bad as it could be a while ago, new people are being exposed to the forum and it's little nuggets while a lot of the sensible people have moved on.
"
Oh no... Does that mean I'm not sensible?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other....
No MM, it's not as bad as it could be a while ago, new people are being exposed to the forum and it's little nuggets while a lot of the sensible people have moved on.
Oh no... Does that mean I'm not sensible? "
You've ascended to veteran MM! you know to take a hiatus occasionally. |
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"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other....
No MM, it's not as bad as it could be a while ago, new people are being exposed to the forum and it's little nuggets while a lot of the sensible people have moved on.
Oh no... Does that mean I'm not sensible?
You've ascended to veteran MM! you know to take a hiatus occasionally. "
Phew, thank god for life throwing tragic shit at me occasionally, I think? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You know the "munch" idea on another site? No pressure coffee? Groups of people once a month, purely vanilla? Am I being naive or would that take pressure of expectation off people? Coffee and a scone (damn you gluten) and a laugh in a group of people no pressure, no expectation no sting of rejection?
Am I too sunshine lollipops today?
have to agree with you on this one, as one who attends said munchs, they are great and a really nice atmosphere where the only thing people expect is the pleasurable company of other like minded people, would be great to have such an event in this lifestyle where people attend with the purpose of getting to know people not just sex"
perhaps a running coffee morning once a month somewhere...obviously needed all over the place? I can see me sitting there with my knitting alone |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Is it really worse than ever though? I remember when I joined the site and there was quite a venomous atmosphere around back then. It wasn't all bad but there were a few very divisive people around and many people felt they had to choose between one camp or the other. The divisive ones are all long gone at this stage thankfully, and my personal opinion is that it's not as bad as it used to be at one time. Having said that, I'm not getting the abusive messages that some appear to be getting so it's easy for me to say it's all fine. Why do people send abusive messages? What's to be gained from that? Surely if the objective is to meet people then being abusive is counter productive? I'll never understand people.
Agreed, two years ago I remember jealousy, bitchines,sarcasm, judgemental people, competition between girls. ) different profiles tho... Same old thing to be honest.
Actually I think people are more busy doing meets and having fun than hanging around on the forums.
I think you'll find a lot of people that use the forums have a lot of meets. Both social and play
Yes some of them ... I didn't say the opposite. "
|
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"
perhaps a running coffee morning once a month somewhere...obviously needed all over the place? I can see me sitting there with my knitting alone"
In a strange twist, and this is totally unrelated, but about thirty years ago I was traveling through Brussels in a coach when the driver decided to park in the middle of a red light district. My abiding memory is of watching a lady of the night, or afternoon in this case, sitting at a table inside a window knitting away merrily while awaiting customers. I saw a gentleman enter and discuss business with her but she had to finish the row she was working on before proceeding. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention... "
You have misquoted or misunderstood what I said. I never mentioned people being bullied off the site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention...
You have misquoted or misunderstood what I said. I never mentioned people being bullied off the site. "
No, I didn't quote you. Yes, I did misunderstand, My bad.
What ARE the gangs doing then? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"
perhaps a running coffee morning once a month somewhere...obviously needed all over the place? I can see me sitting there with my knitting alone
In a strange twist, and this is totally unrelated, but about thirty years ago I was traveling through Brussels in a coach when the driver decided to park in the middle of a red light district. My abiding memory is of watching a lady of the night, or afternoon in this case, sitting at a table inside a window knitting away merrily while awaiting customers. I saw a gentleman enter and discuss business with her but she had to finish the row she was working on before proceeding. "
so you're saying I could make some rainy day cash in window of local obriens
wish I'd know this before as knitting pays really badly!
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention...
You have misquoted or misunderstood what I said. I never mentioned people being bullied off the site.
No, I didn't quote you. Yes, I did misunderstand, My bad.
What ARE the gangs doing then?"
knitting |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention...
You have misquoted or misunderstood what I said. I never mentioned people being bullied off the site.
No, I didn't quote you. Yes, I did misunderstand, My bad.
What ARE the gangs doing then?"
If you go back and read what I wrote first, which you did actually quote, you will see what I said about gangs, or rather about people ganging up on others. A couple of people appear to have agreed with at least some of what I wrote, so I guess for some it's true, even if you personally don't see it or believe it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been mostly very lucky with the people I've met and the people I've chatted to. I'm a very ordinary person, I don't think I'm God's gift, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league or better than anyone else, and when I respond to messages I feel that people 'get' my personality and know that we're equal.
I've seen some very unkind stuff in the forum, I've seen people ganged up on for no obvious reason, and I've seen the gangs get bigger as time goes on. My rule for life, not just for fab is to try to treat people the way I'd want them to treat me. It works most of the time, and when it doesn't I let it go. Life's too short to bother with nasty stuff, there are plenty of kind and decent people around, so I gravitate towards them and hope they find me the same. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention...
You have misquoted or misunderstood what I said. I never mentioned people being bullied off the site.
No, I didn't quote you. Yes, I did misunderstand, My bad.
What ARE the gangs doing then?
If you go back and read what I wrote first, which you did actually quote, you will see what I said about gangs, or rather about people ganging up on others. A couple of people appear to have agreed with at least some of what I wrote, so I guess for some it's true, even if you personally don't see it or believe it. "
I didn't quote you. (please feel free to correct me again) So I re-read it. I simply want to know what YOU think these gangs are doing. |
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"
perhaps a running coffee morning once a month somewhere...obviously needed all over the place? I can see me sitting there with my knitting alone
In a strange twist, and this is totally unrelated, but about thirty years ago I was traveling through Brussels in a coach when the driver decided to park in the middle of a red light district. My abiding memory is of watching a lady of the night, or afternoon in this case, sitting at a table inside a window knitting away merrily while awaiting customers. I saw a gentleman enter and discuss business with her but she had to finish the row she was working on before proceeding.
so you're saying I could make some rainy day cash in window of local obriens
wish I'd know this before as knitting pays really badly!
"
She seemed to have a constant stream of men wanting to admire her knitting |
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"
perhaps a running coffee morning once a month somewhere...obviously needed all over the place? I can see me sitting there with my knitting alone
In a strange twist, and this is totally unrelated, but about thirty years ago I was traveling through Brussels in a coach when the driver decided to park in the middle of a red light district. My abiding memory is of watching a lady of the night, or afternoon in this case, sitting at a table inside a window knitting away merrily while awaiting customers. I saw a gentleman enter and discuss business with her but she had to finish the row she was working on before proceeding.
so you're saying I could make some rainy day cash in window of local obriens
wish I'd know this before as knitting pays really badly!
She seemed to have a constant stream of men wanting to admire her knitting "
So they got something going in and something coming out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention...
You have misquoted or misunderstood what I said. I never mentioned people being bullied off the site.
No, I didn't quote you. Yes, I did misunderstand, My bad.
What ARE the gangs doing then?
knitting"
Lol! my MiL is in one of those but they call it a circle... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention...
You have misquoted or misunderstood what I said. I never mentioned people being bullied off the site.
No, I didn't quote you. Yes, I did misunderstand, My bad.
What ARE the gangs doing then?
If you go back and read what I wrote first, which you did actually quote, you will see what I said about gangs, or rather about people ganging up on others. A couple of people appear to have agreed with at least some of what I wrote, so I guess for some it's true, even if you personally don't see it or believe it.
I didn't quote you. (please feel free to correct me again) So I re-read it. I simply want to know what YOU think these gangs are doing. "
You DID quote me. I cut the quoted part out when I replied. And as I've already said, my first post tells you what I see happening. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been mostly very lucky with the people I've met and the people I've chatted to. I'm a very ordinary person, I don't think I'm God's gift, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league or better than anyone else, and when I respond to messages I feel that people 'get' my personality and know that we're equal.
I've seen some very unkind stuff in the forum, I've seen people ganged up on for no obvious reason, and I've seen the gangs get bigger as time goes on. My rule for life, not just for fab is to try to treat people the way I'd want them to treat me. It works most of the time, and when it doesn't I let it go. Life's too short to bother with nasty stuff, there are plenty of kind and decent people around, so I gravitate towards them and hope they find me the same.
So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention... "
Here you are Sally, please point out where I quoted you, I can't see it. |
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with regards to the munch idea, in the other lifestyle they are held in general in the main cities , and an evening gathering works best as its not possible for most people to do a day time meet for a coffee, but what does come from it is the single people get to meet, and get to chat with others and people get to know the person, also it helps for people to get in touch with people from the same area who might be traveling to an event, so people won't have to worry about going alone to said event or gathering, but like all things there are issues, people who are not happy with it being a public social event, people who want to make it more, who end up having to be asked to leave and not come back, who then end up posting in social media the detail of gatherings, we all know it doesn't matter how innocent a gathering is, if it goes public with the term swing or bdsm then its a problem, all food for thought , would be great to have such events in this lifestyle |
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"
perhaps a running coffee morning once a month somewhere...obviously needed all over the place? I can see me sitting there with my knitting alone
In a strange twist, and this is totally unrelated, but about thirty years ago I was traveling through Brussels in a coach when the driver decided to park in the middle of a red light district. My abiding memory is of watching a lady of the night, or afternoon in this case, sitting at a table inside a window knitting away merrily while awaiting customers. I saw a gentleman enter and discuss business with her but she had to finish the row she was working on before proceeding. "
.
I can hear her with a Customer... "Knit 1, Knit 1, Knit 1, Knit 1, Drop 1".. |
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"
perhaps a running coffee morning once a month somewhere...obviously needed all over the place? I can see me sitting there with my knitting alone
In a strange twist, and this is totally unrelated, but about thirty years ago I was traveling through Brussels in a coach when the driver decided to park in the middle of a red light district. My abiding memory is of watching a lady of the night, or afternoon in this case, sitting at a table inside a window knitting away merrily while awaiting customers. I saw a gentleman enter and discuss business with her but she had to finish the row she was working on before proceeding.
.
I can hear her with a Customer... "Knit 1, Knit 1, Knit 1, Knit 1, Drop 1".. "
Phwooarr! Duurty bitch! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been mostly very lucky with the people I've met and the people I've chatted to. I'm a very ordinary person, I don't think I'm God's gift, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league or better than anyone else, and when I respond to messages I feel that people 'get' my personality and know that we're equal.
I've seen some very unkind stuff in the forum, I've seen people ganged up on for no obvious reason, and I've seen the gangs get bigger as time goes on. My rule for life, not just for fab is to try to treat people the way I'd want them to treat me. It works most of the time, and when it doesn't I let it go. Life's too short to bother with nasty stuff, there are plenty of kind and decent people around, so I gravitate towards them and hope they find me the same.
So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention...
Here you are Sally, please point out where I quoted you, I can't see it. "
Seriously?? The post included with what you wrote is mine. Does that not mean that you've quoted me, or does quoting someone mean something completely different to you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Excellent thread. The munch idea from bdsm is great but part of why munches are so low pressure is because kink is so diverse. For me, I could be looking for a single female who likes rope and electrical play and rubbing butter on my shoulders. That narrows things down. So I go knowing I probably won't find what I want. The expectation is very small.
There is also the social ostracism that can happen if you misbehave.
Another advantage bdsm munches have over swinging is stigma. Swinging is perceived as more dangerous to society than kink. Swinging undermines the very institution of marriage.
kinky people are less likely to hide the fact they are kinky (tho not divulge their fetishes) whereas swingers love their privacy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have been mostly very lucky with the people I've met and the people I've chatted to. I'm a very ordinary person, I don't think I'm God's gift, I don't think I'm out of anyone's league or better than anyone else, and when I respond to messages I feel that people 'get' my personality and know that we're equal.
I've seen some very unkind stuff in the forum, I've seen people ganged up on for no obvious reason, and I've seen the gangs get bigger as time goes on. My rule for life, not just for fab is to try to treat people the way I'd want them to treat me. It works most of the time, and when it doesn't I let it go. Life's too short to bother with nasty stuff, there are plenty of kind and decent people around, so I gravitate towards them and hope they find me the same.
So there are big gangs of people going around bullying people off the site?! I really need to pay more attention...
Here you are Sally, please point out where I quoted you, I can't see it.
Seriously?? The post included with what you wrote is mine. Does that not mean that you've quoted me, or does quoting someone mean something completely different to you? "
Ah, I see. Yes I answered you with reply + quote so you would know I was addressing you but I didn't "quote" you in my comment.
A simple misunderstanding that all too often here ends up in acrimony. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Regular social meets are a great idea as they would ideally be low pressure without the expectation to play, but more than that, it is great to meet people in real life as that makes the whole Fab experience more real. People are always different in the flesh compared to what you expect.
-Damo |
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By *j47Man
over a year ago
limerick |
At this stage there are regular parties organised by members where social meets are the norm
Think there's a lot to digest in organising such events as some only want cpls at theses events othersl only want verified members to attend
There have being a few members put up open coffee meets for those that seek that first veri
One lady used run a social meet on the last Fri of every month
If it's something ud like to see happening OP why not start one monthly in ur area it is a great idea where u get to chat to people of a like mind make friends and network so to speak |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"At this stage there are regular parties organised by members where social meets are the norm
Think there's a lot to digest in organising such events as some only want cpls at theses events othersl only want verified members to attend
There have being a few members put up open coffee meets for those that seek that first veri
One lady used run a social meet on the last Fri of every month
If it's something ud like to see happening OP why not start one monthly in ur area it is a great idea where u get to chat to people of a like mind make friends and network so to speak"
that's what I am marinating on now |
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