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I need help my head is fried
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After a night out normally with a few white wines in her my wife will start telling me how she gets turned on by the thoughts of being with another women or having a mmf,how we must arrange for this to happen as its her bigest fantasy ,nice one i think im up for that ,folllowing day or bring up the subject when she is sober and i get the cold shoulder or a mouth full of abuse for even thinking about adding somone to our bedroom male od female what the hell is her story |
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"Its just a fantasy"
I know its to do with the drink because on nights out we have ended up in strip clubs plus she has kissed girls in night clubs yet if you asked her she would deny it ever happened |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never mention it again as she may say it when she is d*unk do you want to know what her biggest fantasy of all is?
Being solely with the man she loves and only him and that is you so that's why she gets upset so I hope she knows you are on here and if not I'd advise you get off here and be with her as she clearly loves you, don't be blind our fella.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its just a fantasy"
I agree. People may have a fantasy but do not really want/have to act upon it.
Just wondering though why do you have it on your profile that it is what your wife wants but yet you said here that she doesnt want to add someone else? |
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"Its just a fantasy
I agree. People may have a fantasy but do not really want/have to act upon it.
Just wondering though why do you have it on your profile that it is what your wife wants but yet you said here that she doesnt want to
add someone else? "
Sure this is my problem we watch porn together it turns her on she will say that she wants to add people to our sex life she has even gone as far as kissing another girl yet if i bring it up outside of the bedroom or the following day after a night out where she has brought the subject up she gets embarrassed aboit it
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She has bi- tendencies but isnt willing to confront or accept them yet. Pushing her about it wont get you answers either. If she doesnt understand whats going on in her mind when shes d*unk, shes hardly going to be able to explain it to you when shes sober.
Shes talking the talk at the moment and not necessarily ready to walk the walk. Accept it as talk and move on. Causing conflict in your marriage isnt worth it Op. |
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"I'd suggest you drop the idea, unless it's more important to you than your marriage."
we were out last night we both had a few drinks she turns to me and say see the couple at the bar are they not both fit id like for you to watch me with them we get home have great sex talking about what we would both do then thats it until the next time out of the blue she will bring it up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She has bi- tendencies but isnt willing to confront or accept them yet. Pushing her about it wont get you answers either. If she doesnt understand whats going on in her mind when shes d*unk, shes hardly going to be able to explain it to you when shes sober.
Shes talking the talk at the moment and not necessarily ready to walk the walk. Accept it as talk and move on. Causing conflict in your marriage isnt worth it Op. "
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"She has bi- tendencies but isnt willing to confront or accept them yet. Pushing her about it wont get you answers either. If she doesnt understand whats going on in her mind when shes d*unk, shes hardly going to be able to explain it to you when shes sober.
Shes talking the talk at the moment and not necessarily ready to walk the walk. Accept it as talk and move on. Causing conflict in your marriage isnt worth it Op. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its just a fantasy
I agree. People may have a fantasy but do not really want/have to act upon it.
Just wondering though why do you have it on your profile that it is what your wife wants but yet you said here that she doesnt want to
add someone else?
Sure this is my problem we watch porn together it turns her on she will say that she wants to add people to our sex life she has even gone as far as kissing another girl yet if i bring it up outside of the bedroom or the following day after a night out where she has brought the subject up she gets embarrassed aboit it
"
The reality is its a fantasy for her and she doesnt want to act on it. Obviously she loves you and maybe she is just afraid that it could change things for the worse between you. I wouldnt organise things with another person/couple without her knowing about it! |
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"Never mention it again as she may say it when she is d*unk do you want to know what her biggest fantasy of all is?
Being solely with the man she loves and only him and that is you so that's why she gets upset so I hope she knows you are on here and if not I'd advise you get off here and be with her as she clearly loves you, don't be blind our fella. "
|
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"Its just a fantasy
I agree. People may have a fantasy but do not really want/have to act upon it.
Just wondering though why do you have it on your profile that it is what your wife wants but yet you said here that she doesnt want to
add someone else?
Sure this is my problem we watch porn together it turns her on she will say that she wants to add people to our sex life she has even gone as far as kissing another girl yet if i bring it up outside of the bedroom or the following day after a night out where she has brought the subject up she gets embarrassed aboit it
The reality is its a fantasy for her and she doesnt want to act on it. Obviously she loves you and maybe she is just afraid that it could change things for the worse between you. I wouldnt organise things with another person/couple without her knowing about it! "
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"send her out to me lol hehe
by dhl or regular post  mmmmm I get to unwrap her lol "
it may take you awhile as she means the world to me id have her wrapped in bubblewrap lots of it and a sexy pair of knickers |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never mention it again as she may say it when she is d*unk do you want to know what her biggest fantasy of all is?
Being solely with the man she loves and only him and that is you so that's why she gets upset so I hope she knows you are on here and if not I'd advise you get off here and be with her as she clearly loves you, don't be blind our fella. "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Its just a fantasy
I agree. People may have a fantasy but do not really want/have to act upon it.
Just wondering though why do you have it on your profile that it is what your wife wants but yet you said here that she doesnt want to
add someone else?
Sure this is my problem we watch porn together it turns her on she will say that she wants to add people to our sex life she has even gone as far as kissing another girl yet if i bring it up outside of the bedroom or the following day after a night out where she has brought the subject up she gets embarrassed aboit it
The reality is its a fantasy for her and she doesnt want to act on it. Obviously she loves you and maybe she is just afraid that it could change things for the worse between you. I wouldnt organise things with another person/couple without her knowing about it! "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'd suggest you drop the idea, unless it's more important to you than your marriage.
we were out last night we both had a few drinks she turns to me and say see the couple at the bar are they not both fit id like for you to watch me with them we get home have great sex talking about what we would both do then thats it until the next time out of the blue she will bring it up "
I disagree with dropping it. I think it's something that deserves a conversation if its inportant to you. It's ok for her to discuss when d*unk but not you when sober?
It doesn't have to become a reality but there's nothing wrong with discussing a fantasy with the person you married to  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure your eagerness to have a 3some is more important than hers so much so that instead of it happening you are willing to deceptively try arrange an orchestrated meet. Think out the scenario. Say you find a girl. You arrange to randomly meet her in a bar. Let's say it all goes well and Ye are in bed Ye have the best 3some known to man. What if the girl slips up and mentions fab and how Ye got to where Ye are. Remember there is liquor involved.
What if she falls in love with you. What if she falls for your ur wife and try's to break up yer marriage. Let's face it for the type of girl to want to take part in your scheme she's not going to be,,,
Let's say the most savoury person. You willing to loose it all for a fantasy. If that's the case go hire two escorts bang the shit out of them. It'll be a whole lot cheaper than a divorce id also say your head isn't fried from your wife not playing along and more so that your not getting your 3way. |
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"I'd suggest you drop the idea, unless it's more important to you than your marriage.
we were out last night we both had a few drinks she turns to me and say see the couple at the bar are they not both fit id like for you to watch me with them we get home have great sex talking about what we would both do then thats it until the next time out of the blue she will bring it up
I disagree with dropping it. I think it's something that deserves a conversation if its inportant to you. It's ok for her to discuss when d*unk but not you when sober?
It doesn't have to become a reality but there's nothing wrong with discussing a fantasy with the person you married to "
The only thing that pisses me off about the whole thing is marie will bring up the convo whenever she feels like and without me even pushing her on it yet if i bring it up its like im pushing it when im not its like its her thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd suggest you drop the idea, unless it's more important to you than your marriage.
we were out last night we both had a few drinks she turns to me and say see the couple at the bar are they not both fit id like for you to watch me with them we get home have great sex talking about what we would both do then thats it until the next time out of the blue she will bring it up
I disagree with dropping it. I think it's something that deserves a conversation if its inportant to you. It's ok for her to discuss when d*unk but not you when sober?
It doesn't have to become a reality but there's nothing wrong with discussing a fantasy with the person you married to
The only thing that pisses me off about the whole thing is marie will bring up the convo whenever she feels like and without me even pushing her on it yet if i bring it up its like im pushing it when im not its like its her thing "
Why are you telling us this, instead of your wife? |
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"I'm sure your eagerness to have a 3some is more important than hers so much so that instead of it happening you are willing to deceptively try arrange an orchestrated meet. Think out the scenario. Say you find a girl. You arrange to randomly meet her in a bar. Let's say it all goes well and Ye are in bed Ye have the best 3some known to man. What if the girl slips up and mentions fab and how Ye got to where Ye are. Remember there is liquor involved.
What if she falls in love with you. What if she falls for your ur wife and try's to break up yer marriage. Let's face it for the type of girl to want to take part in your scheme she's not going to be,,,
Let's say the most savoury person. You willing to loose it all for a fantasy. If that's the case go hire two escorts bang the shit out of them. It'll be a whole lot cheaper than a divorce id also say your head isn't fried from your wife not playing along and more so that your not getting your 3way. "
fair point to be taken on bord |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dude im not sure if it matters to you but you are not being very discreet.
Using I assume your name as a profile name is one thing but you have also named your wife here as well!
Is she ok with that?
If not I suggest you ask admin to take this thread down
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"Dude im not sure if it matters to you but you are not being very discreet.
Using I assume your name as a profile name is one thing but you have also named your wife here as well!
Is she ok with that?
If not I suggest you ask admin to take this thread down
"
Given that he managed to misspell his own first name, I'd have my suspicions that it might not be his real one.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dude im not sure if it matters to you but you are not being very discreet.
Using I assume your name as a profile name is one thing but you have also named your wife here as well!
Is she ok with that?
If not I suggest you ask admin to take this thread down
"
His name is Nail? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dude im not sure if it matters to you but you are not being very discreet.
Using I assume your name as a profile name is one thing but you have also named your wife here as well!
Is she ok with that?
If not I suggest you ask admin to take this thread down
His name is Nail?"
Ah cmon long 
I'm gna hazard a guess his name might be Nial  |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Dude im not sure if it matters to you but you are not being very discreet.
Using I assume your name as a profile name is one thing but you have also named your wife here as well!
Is she ok with that?
If not I suggest you ask admin to take this thread down
His name is Nail?
Ah cmon long
I'm gna hazard a guess his name might be Nial "
Well I might have just found them, OP catch yourself on. |
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By *oghunter33Woman
over a year ago
on the hill NordWest of |
Why don't you try out a whole different approach because the way you suggest on your profile is most likely not going to work. It's very unlikely that a couple or a female ventures into a meet without even having spoken to your wife to see if there's some attraction and connection. Also you can't lure your wife into a meet.
So my suggestion would be that you tell her about fab, something along the line I found this website bla bla and I've set up a profile for us just to see and read how it works for others. Let her explore the site, ideally on her own. It might help her to find out that she's not some sort of freak having some additional fantasies and desires outside the marital bedroom. Then you could go with her to a m&g where you can just socialise with like minded and where there is no obligation and take it from there. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Read a good few of the replies but not all so apologies if this has been discussed,
Marriages are complicated and need worked on with both parties afforded the opportunity to let the other person know how their actions affect them
I suggest letting her know you need to get something of your chest that's bothering you, make sure she knows it's not a blame game but simply to be completely open and honest with each other
Sounds like you love her and support her, so explain that when you bring it up its because you get the impression she's trying to tell you something that she's unsure about, that you want to listen to why she behaves like that with drink ( in a non judgemental way ) and you are open to discuss it with no end goal other than to support her, it may take months for her to talk but she needs to know you are there to listen to her, her head could be fried also, and maybe by opening the relationship up and improving communication it may well become a reality or you may find out its just a game / fantasy to add excitement between you two either way if you improve your relationship your on to a winner |
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OP, I think you are banging you're head against a brick wall. Maybe it's time to sit her down & tell her it's either start working on exploring the fantasy, or drop the subject and never bring it up again.
There are a few who have the impression this is all about you, but let's look at it another way.
Supposing partner A's fantasy was to take a 2 month long cruise. Partner B says "yes I'd love that too" but yet, if partner B brings up the subject or tries to do something about organising it partner A shoots it down. A few months later partner A brings up the subject again so partner B tries to keep the momentum going but gets shot down again. Repeat this scenario over several years. Is it not a form of mental/emotional torture to keep dangling something that a person wants in front of them, and then keep taking it away?
Now I do realise there is a big difference between a cruise and having other people in your bed but the general 'here it is but you can't have attiude' is the same.
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"OP, I think you are banging you're head against a brick wall. Maybe it's time to sit her down & tell her it's either start working on exploring the fantasy, or drop the subject and never bring it up again.
There are a few who have the impression this is all about you, but let's look at it another way.
Supposing partner A's fantasy was to take a 2 month long cruise. Partner B says "yes I'd love that too" but yet, if partner B brings up the subject or tries to do something about organising it partner A shoots it down. A few months later partner A brings up the subject again so partner B tries to keep the momentum going but gets shot down again. Repeat this scenario over several years. Is it not a form of mental/emotional torture to keep dangling something that a person wants in front of them, and then keep taking it away?
Now I do realise there is a big difference between a cruise and having other people in your bed but the general 'here it is but you can't have attiude' is the same.
"
thanks for that its cleared alot of things up for me in my head i never looked at it that way yet it sums up what im feeling |
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