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Can i have your honest opinion about my poems
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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((((This poem is called GHOST STORY about my friend who hung him self in jail)))))
Listen up good- I’m about to give you a fright
I’m gonna tell you about despair in the still of the night
The living dead on a mission for a high
Not giving a fuck whether they live or die...
A junkie- an addict- a rebel without a cause
This could’ve been you… take a second and pause
Let’s try figure out how this man came to be
Seek out the child and I think the answer you’ll see
Is that he was brought up in hell and never knew why
A lonely child with a tear in his eye
Reaching out for a mother that was never there
His fathers an alco… he doesn’t care…
So, he hits the street to a world of his own
How did this child come to be so alone?
People walk past him not seeing him cry
If only they would stop and ask him why?
They’d see he was wounded with nothing to give
But they don’t care… they have their own lives to live….
So, he keeps on walking- searching for love
He finds it in a tablet that has a little white dove
He’s flying now- doesn’t care anymore
His will is broken- his body’s sore
He’s going crazy- he can’t take the pain
His new love is a needle that he sticks in his vein
It blocks out the hurt that he feels deep inside
It’s his own little world where he can easily hide…
He’s stealing from people- he’s a criminal now
He wants to stop but he doesn’t know how
He’s screaming at the demons to leave him alone
He’s praying to God to take him home
Causing destruction wherever he goes Nobody sees him- nobody knows
He’s messed up now… he’s back in hell
He finds himself cold and alone in his cell
With nothing to live for or no little hope
He finds a way out at the end of a rope…
It’s a horrible tale without any glory
A forgotten soul that became a ghost story
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Excellent! Very well written and struck a heartstring. We must look after our children.
Was about to write more but realising poem has made me angry, I had to restrain myself! That's the effect. So Yes, it works. |
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