FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Long lasting lies
Long lasting lies
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm not proud of myself, but admit of having cheated and lied before. The longest I could keep something hidden from my partner was about a month, and I felt terrible, misserable about it and ended up confessing everything up to my partner.
Do you believe there are lies that can be hidden forever from the ones you love, or your family?
I know of a man that was living a double life, and had two families at same time in two different cities, his work was abroad so he could live this double life for 20 years, but his kids and wives eventually found out.
What do you think? Can lies go on forever? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No.
Why lie!! Why get yourself into situations!!
All that guilt and worry, then the aftermat .
No id rather someone hurt me with the truth than comfort me with a lie.  |
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This is deep for so early in the morning. Lies will always be found out. Could take a week a month a year longer even but they always rear their ugly heads. As for the liar.... well it eats away at them too . Unless they're complete arse holes sorry I meant narcissists |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No.
Why lie!! Why get yourself into situations!!
All that guilt and worry, then the aftermat .
No id rather someone hurt me with the truth than comfort me with a lie. "
Experience and making mistakes learns us lessons  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not proud of myself, but admit of having cheated and lied before. The longest I could keep something hidden from my partner was about a month, and I felt terrible, misserable about it and ended up confessing everything up to my partner.
Do you believe there are lies that can be hidden forever from the ones you love, or your family?
I know of a man that was living a double life, and had two families at same time in two different cities, his work was abroad so he could live this double life for 20 years, but his kids and wives eventually found out.
What do you think? Can lies go on forever?"
Yep. If you're good. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This is deep for so early in the morning. Lies will always be found out. Could take a week a month a year longer even but they always rear their ugly heads. As for the liar.... well it eats away at them too . Unless they're complete arse holes sorry I meant narcissists "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not proud of myself, but admit of having cheated and lied before. The longest I could keep something hidden from my partner was about a month, and I felt terrible, misserable about it and ended up confessing everything up to my partner.
Do you believe there are lies that can be hidden forever from the ones you love, or your family?
I know of a man that was living a double life, and had two families at same time in two different cities, his work was abroad so he could live this double life for 20 years, but his kids and wives eventually found out.
What do you think? Can lies go on forever?
Yep. If you're good."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Of course, some people are expert liars, particularly sociopaths and narcissists. Guilt simply isn't an issue for them.
It's now called alternative facts  "
Didn't that used to be called "gaslighting"? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My ex lied by omission for years and still does but not my circus any more...just a clown I used to know.
It destroys any semblance of trust in a relationship and trust is a foundation block
Madame B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex lied by omission for years and still does but not my circus any more...just a clown I used to know.
It destroys any semblance of trust in a relationship and trust is a foundation block
Madame B"
Trust is the whole foundation. Everything else is built on it.
Relationships without trust require a lot of energy to keep them solid. It drains energy out of both partners. (The liar needs to constantly prove they are not lying and the lied to person needs to constantly battle with jealousy and fear) Energy that should be used to grow the relationship.
It's easier in the long run to just be honest.
I wanted to have sex with other people and it took 2 years of talking to get us to that place. Painful conversations. But worth it |
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By *vpamelaTV/TS
over a year ago
kinkville |
"I'm not proud of myself, but admit of having cheated and lied before. The longest I could keep something hidden from my partner was about a month, and I felt terrible, misserable about it and ended up confessing everything up to my partner.
Do you believe there are lies that can be hidden forever from the ones you love, or your family?
I know of a man that was living a double life, and had two families at same time in two different cities, his work was abroad so he could live this double life for 20 years, but his kids and wives eventually found out.
What do you think? Can lies go on forever?"
I knew a guy when I was in my twenties who had two girlfriends on the go for over a year. He kept up the charade by meeting one Monday, Wed, Fri and the other Tuesday, Thur, Sat. Sunday's he kept for himself with his mates. He was always stressed and exhausted but after a year, one of the girlfriends left for a year out trip to Austrailia. The other became more serious. As far as I know, neither found out...... Until now lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex lied by omission for years and still does but not my circus any more...just a clown I used to know.
It destroys any semblance of trust in a relationship and trust is a foundation block
Madame B
Trust is the whole foundation. Everything else is built on it.
Relationships without trust require a lot of energy to keep them solid. It drains energy out of both partners. (The liar needs to constantly prove they are not lying and the lied to person needs to constantly battle with jealousy and fear) Energy that should be used to grow the relationship.
It's easier in the long run to just be honest.
I wanted to have sex with other people and it took 2 years of talking to get us to that place. Painful conversations. But worth it"
No jealousy but no trust either and by the end just assumed everything was a lie so stopped communicating...and I am a serial talker anyone that knows me will vouch for that. Glad you guy's worked it through to the other side
Madame B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can watch a thief but you can't watch a Liar...Long runs the Fox sooner or later they get caught out and sadly it's the person they lie too that hurts the most even if it is little penguins !!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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no time for lies ffs can barely keep up with the pace of life as it is never mind spinning lies to hide stuff or people i love and hold dear ,i lied once when i was 16 dating 2 girls at the same time got caught and have never repeated the situation lies and hiding stuff gives you stress grey hair and a bad heart although i think the later comes first if your a liar or you have no conscience i only sleep 3 to 5 hrs a night i could not be doing with less sleep with worry be true and no one can hurt ya unless you give your heart away |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother. "
talk about stone hearted, cold faced...  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My ex lied by omission for years and still does but not my circus any more...just a clown I used to know.
It destroys any semblance of trust in a relationship and trust is a foundation block
Madame B
Trust is the whole foundation. Everything else is built on it.
Relationships without trust require a lot of energy to keep them solid. It drains energy out of both partners. (The liar needs to constantly prove they are not lying and the lied to person needs to constantly battle with jealousy and fear) Energy that should be used to grow the relationship.
It's easier in the long run to just be honest.
I wanted to have sex with other people and it took 2 years of talking to get us to that place. Painful conversations. But worth it
No jealousy but no trust either and by the end just assumed everything was a lie so stopped communicating...and I am a serial talker anyone that knows me will vouch for that. Glad you guy's worked it through to the other side
Madame B"
not as glad as I am B. And while you suffered then no one can doubt that you are in a better place now.
I have a friend who have been on the receiving end of lies and cheating. They felt jealousy that he gave his attention to these other women and she felt fear that she would be replaced. I didn't mean to imply that everyone would feel them two emotions. Of course many people would feel anger too and I forgot to include that.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother.
talk about stone hearted, cold faced... "
See my comment, there are people who literally have no care for anyone but themselves, other people are simply tools to be manipulated. |
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I've recently started seeing a guy and things are going well. He isn't aware of fab or that side of me as yet. I've been lied to in the past hence being single and because of this, the fab conversation will happen very soon with the new guy. Open and honest from the start is only way to go I think even if the response is not what I would like. |
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The father of a girl I went to school with led s double life for years with two families . He was married to my friends mum , but was always s womaniser. He got away with it because he was always away on "business " . He started a relationship with another woman and she got pregnant , he apparently tried over the years to finish the second relationship , but every time he did she'd get pregnant again . He had 5 children with the other woman , who he had apparently told he was separated from my friends mum ( he wasn't ) . When eventually it all came out it was absolutely devastating for my friend and her family ,, was really really bad , the poor girl had to have Counceling , her whole life as she'd know it was a complete lie . Awful stuff .. lies just have a way of growing legs and getting out of control . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother.
talk about stone hearted, cold faced... "
He became my ex there and then. The other woman stayed with him and to this day she can't look me in the face. He was good liar I'll give him that. She didn't know I excisted till she found another phone that he had. We had been married at the time. More the fool her I say. He begged me to stay with him for weeks while denying he anything to do with the other woman and when he released I wasn't taking him back he moved in with her. The mind boggles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother.
talk about stone hearted, cold faced...
See my comment, there are people who literally have no care for anyone but themselves, other people are simply tools to be manipulated."
Totally agree |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I would be interesting to hear from people who, do cheat/lie but justify their behaviour."
Justify is an interesting word. And quite a loaded one.
There are many men and women here because their spouse is neglectful.
1) Sex drive dies in one and the other person, in their sexual peak suddenly is alone.
2) partner is abusive and withholds sex as a form of control.
3) neglected by a disinterested partner, they fall in love/lust with someone who sees them as beautiful/handsome.
Often people get lonely and slip little by little into the lies. They lie so they feel guilt which makes them lie even more. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother.
talk about stone hearted, cold faced...
He became my ex there and then. The other woman stayed with him and to this day she can't look me in the face. He was good liar I'll give him that. She didn't know I excisted till she found another phone that he had. We had been married at the time. More the fool her I say. He begged me to stay with him for weeks while denying he anything to do with the other woman and when he released I wasn't taking him back he moved in with her. The mind boggles "
Indeed it does, but that's a narcesistic sociopath for you.
The other woman, she made her bed staying with him after, ... The fact she can't look you in the face is very telling, bet she can hardly stand herself, not a pretty way to have to live your life...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother.
talk about stone hearted, cold faced...
He became my ex there and then. The other woman stayed with him and to this day she can't look me in the face. He was good liar I'll give him that. She didn't know I excisted till she found another phone that he had. We had been married at the time. More the fool her I say. He begged me to stay with him for weeks while denying he anything to do with the other woman and when he released I wasn't taking him back he moved in with her. The mind boggles
Indeed it does, but that's a narcesistic sociopath for you.
The other woman, she made her bed staying with him after, ... The fact she can't look you in the face is very telling, bet she can hardly stand herself, not a pretty way to have to live your life...
"
The reasons people stay in relationships are many and complex, but there's little doubting that we get the treatment we are willing to accept. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother.
talk about stone hearted, cold faced...
He became my ex there and then. The other woman stayed with him and to this day she can't look me in the face. He was good liar I'll give him that. She didn't know I excisted till she found another phone that he had. We had been married at the time. More the fool her I say. He begged me to stay with him for weeks while denying he anything to do with the other woman and when he released I wasn't taking him back he moved in with her. The mind boggles
Indeed it does, but that's a narcesistic sociopath for you.
The other woman, she made her bed staying with him after, ... The fact she can't look you in the face is very telling, bet she can hardly stand herself, not a pretty way to have to live your life...
The reasons people stay in relationships are many and complex, but there's little doubting that we get the treatment we are willing to accept."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother.
talk about stone hearted, cold faced...
He became my ex there and then. The other woman stayed with him and to this day she can't look me in the face. He was good liar I'll give him that. She didn't know I excisted till she found another phone that he had. We had been married at the time. More the fool her I say. He begged me to stay with him for weeks while denying he anything to do with the other woman and when he released I wasn't taking him back he moved in with her. The mind boggles
Indeed it does, but that's a narcesistic sociopath for you.
The other woman, she made her bed staying with him after, ... The fact she can't look you in the face is very telling, bet she can hardly stand herself, not a pretty way to have to live your life...
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
The reasons people stay in relationships are many and complex, but there's little doubting that we get the treatment we are willing to accept."
Agree wholeheartedly, we live with the outcome of our choices, personal responsibility of course. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I would be interesting to hear from people who, do cheat/lie but justify their behaviour.
Justify is an interesting word. And quite a loaded one.
There are many men and women here because their spouse is neglectful.
1) Sex drive dies in one and the other person, in their sexual peak suddenly is alone.
2) partner is abusive and withholds sex as a form of control.
3) neglected by a disinterested partner, they fall in love/lust with someone who sees them as beautiful/handsome.
Often people get lonely and slip little by little into the lies. They lie so they feel guilt which makes them lie even more. "
Of course, it would probably be better to exit the relationship, for all parties involved, but a little lie is easily made, and once you're down that path, it's a slippery slope indeed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My face is to readable to lie i give myself away.
Is it now, interesting! I'd love to read yours
You could read me like a book "
First edition, limited print! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was married to someone with NPD, narcissistic personality disorder and could lie to anyone.... He believed his lies, we believed his lies... We knew he lied to "other" people...
Human beings always want to think we are all clever, we'd spot a liar, but often we see and hear what we want to  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I was married to someone with NPD, narcissistic personality disorder and could lie to anyone.... He believed his lies, we believed his lies... We knew he lied to "other" people...
Human beings always want to think we are all clever, we'd spot a liar, but often we see and hear what we want to "
They've jobs for people like that, banking, insurance, politics... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I was married to someone with NPD, narcissistic personality disorder and could lie to anyone.... He believed his lies, we believed his lies... We knew he lied to "other" people...
Human beings always want to think we are all clever, we'd spot a liar, but often we see and hear what we want to "
Of course, who wants to believe they've willingly walked into it, and deep down most of us want to believe in the innate goodness of other people, it's hard to fathom that a person can be utterly without empathy or feeling for others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother. "
I agree, lies get caught out in the end.
I was in a similar situation. Was seeing a guy for a year, long distance. We saw each other twice a month for 4/5 day periods. He usually came to mine or we went away for a few days.
I had just introduced him to my daughter after almost a year as I felt the time was right.
Couple of weeks later he was 'ill' and cancelled our weekend. I had the time taken off so I decided to surprise him and look after him.
I got a fair shock when his wife answered the door with their 3 year old in tow. She was equally surprised.
Some of you might say I was gullible/naive, but you wouldn't believe the lies and extent he went to, to cover his tracks. Mental stuff.
Lies, the mother of all fuck ups!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My memory is not good enough to tell lies ha ha.
Just be yourself and then you can't go wrong "
So if your memory was better....
For me, personally, the burden of guilt, I can't keep it up and in.
I'm glad though, makes me more human I guess |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I couldn't lie to save myself.
Hate liars. Cheaters. Bullshiters.
I can be diplomatic about things but I never keep the truth from someone. "
To err is human, just don't keep fucking up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I couldn't lie to save myself.
Hate liars. Cheaters. Bullshiters.
I can be diplomatic about things but I never keep the truth from someone.
To err is human, just don't keep fucking up"
Who says I fuck up ??
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I couldn't lie to save myself.
Hate liars. Cheaters. Bullshiters.
I can be diplomatic about things but I never keep the truth from someone.
To err is human, just don't keep fucking up
Who says I fuck up ??
"
I meant in general, not at all personal |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother.
I agree, lies get caught out in the end.
I was in a similar situation. Was seeing a guy for a year, long distance. We saw each other twice a month for 4/5 day periods. He usually came to mine or we went away for a few days.
I had just introduced him to my daughter after almost a year as I felt the time was right.
Couple of weeks later he was 'ill' and cancelled our weekend. I had the time taken off so I decided to surprise him and look after him.
I got a fair shock when his wife answered the door with their 3 year old in tow. She was equally surprised.
Some of you might say I was gullible/naive, but you wouldn't believe the lies and extent he went to, to cover his tracks. Mental stuff.
Lies, the mother of all fuck ups! "
Sorry to hear about that experience. No one deserves to get played like that, no matter circumstances! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think all lies will eventually catch with you. My ex lied to me for three years. When a friend eventually told me he was cheating I believed every word he told me. Until his fiance showed up at my door with a 16 month old in tow.
Even when confronted with the 2 of us he contuined to lie. Telling me that she was just a mad stalker. He didn't have a leg to stand on. The child was identical to him and could have passed as my kids brother.
I agree, lies get caught out in the end.
I was in a similar situation. Was seeing a guy for a year, long distance. We saw each other twice a month for 4/5 day periods. He usually came to mine or we went away for a few days.
I had just introduced him to my daughter after almost a year as I felt the time was right.
Couple of weeks later he was 'ill' and cancelled our weekend. I had the time taken off so I decided to surprise him and look after him.
I got a fair shock when his wife answered the door with their 3 year old in tow. She was equally surprised.
Some of you might say I was gullible/naive, but you wouldn't believe the lies and extent he went to, to cover his tracks. Mental stuff.
Lies, the mother of all fuck ups!
Sorry to hear about that experience. No one deserves to get played like that, no matter circumstances!"
Shit happens, I guess. A brutal learning curve, but it's left me with zero tolerance for lies/liars! |
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