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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Split with my wife some time ago last Christmas I spent in the house to do santy for the kids this year cos she has a new man I'm not even let go up early in the morning to see the kids faces for santy after me buying all santy presents I'm not let see see them feel horrible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats awful
If thats the way its going to be tho - keep a diary, chat to them in it and hand it over when they are old enough to realise you weren't all bad
Wishing you as good a day as it can be in the circumstances X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Don't be down, she's moved on. When they get to you make it the best one yet, the one thing she or anyone can't buy your children is your time and your love which, when they look back as they get older will remind them that you love them.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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She's moved on that's not a problem I wish her well with but don't stop from seen my kids Christmas my kids wanted me there for it and I wanted to be there for them |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Feel your pain boss... going through something v similar..
I definetly won't forget this xmas...
why do the women automatically get control of the kids... totally wrong! |
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"Don't be down, she's moved on. When they get to you make it the best one yet, the one thing she or anyone can't buy your children is your time and your love which, when they look back as they get older will remind them that you love them. "
Her moving on wouldn't be the issue,being stopped from seeing ones children is what's wrong here,she indeed cannot buy his time with the children but she is taking it from the OP,to the OP all I can say is I hope that common sense decency wins out and you get to spend some quality time with your kids,next time you buy the presents keep them at your house and say Santa dropped the gifts at your house so the kids would have to visit.Invite her and her new guy to come too and hand them a cuppa as soon as they come in the door. |
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"Thats awful
If thats the way its going to be tho - keep a diary, chat to them in it and hand it over when they are old enough to realise you weren't all bad
Wishing you as good a day as it can be in the circumstances
X"
Nicely put, you have to give Time, TIME and sometimes even a little more time as well, and I know it's hard but it does work out in the end  |
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By *al2001Man
over a year ago
kildare |
I split with my kids over 10 years ago so I know how it is op. Like only a father who has been thru it can know.
No offence meant but Iv found most women just don't get it or understand as they have nothing that is similar could happen to them barring it be a catastrophe of some sort,they never get seperated from their kids. Or very rarely
Op your kids wanted you there and you wanted to be there and only your ex stopped you so your kids will see all this and see who is doing what so just stick to the right road and you will have many more xmases with your kids when they can decide
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP your kids love you and even though u might not think so today Christmas is just a day and once they know it wasn't your choice to miss seeing them they'll be just as happy to have time with you opening the gifts you got them. 7 yrs on in this scenario and myself and the ex split the day he takes them after dinner for the rest of the day. He doesn't contribute to Santy he gives them his own gifts at his etc. I know the situation isn't an easy one but good communication and patience helps.
Happy Christmas xxx |
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Been there myself, no worse feeling (ever!) All I can suggest is to surround yourself with your own family/friends to try take your mind of it.
Some women feel there isn't an issue doing this to fathers or may get satisfaction from doing it I really don't know, makes me sick. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Split with my wife some time ago last Christmas I spent in the house to do santy for the kids this year cos she has a new man I'm not even let go up early in the morning to see the kids faces for santy after me buying all santy presents I'm not let see see them feel horrible "
I'm so sorry that you're in such an awful situation. It's most unfair of your ex to not allow you to share in the Christmas magic, especially if the children are still young enough to believe in Santa.
Maybe next year, you could both have a sensible grown up discussion and agree that the kids come first, and if they want you there, you should be there, even for part of the day. If she's not amenable to that, then have a second Christmas for them at your house, and keep the presents you bought for them there until they arrive.
It's not easy, she may have her reasons to not want you there, but she's got no right to keep you from your kids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't be down, she's moved on. When they get to you make it the best one yet, the one thing she or anyone can't buy your children is your time and your love which, when they look back as they get older will remind them that you love them.
Her moving on wouldn't be the issue,being stopped from seeing ones children is what's wrong here,she indeed cannot buy his time with the children but she is taking it from the OP,to the OP all I can say is I hope that common sense decency wins out and you get to spend some quality time with your kids,next time you buy the presents keep them at your house and say Santa dropped the gifts at your house so the kids would have to visit.Invite her and her new guy to come too and hand them a cuppa as soon as they come in the door."
As usual you're either reading information that isn't there or you maybe know more personally about the OP. The fact of the matter is when a couple split 1 child/set of children can't be in 2 places at once so every Christmas 1 of the parents feels left out. I'd have thought this was obvious Flash. |
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I had the opposite, my ex has visitation one Xmas and didn't show up, my son was devastated, I got him to phone him thismorning and he didn't pick up,it's not only the women who get hurt, the children suffer too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know how you feel guys and I just hope that you can all have as good a xmas as possible I find this time of yr incredibly difficult as well so my thoughts are with u all x |
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Ur d father that wanted to see his kids but she would not let u . But then u get guys that don't want d kids n then d worst women that don't want d kids .i know a few guys n they were left with d kids . So it works both ways . I know it's horrible but just wish u d best n hope she has a change of heart . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are people out there worse off, the homeless and the poor abandoned animals.be thankfull for what you have your health your kids health a roof over your head.i never got to see my kids today.but im holding my head up high and enjoying my day.just wilson and I here and my guitar a tray of beer a bottle of brandy nice food.and all my nice fabsters here to keep me company.stay and think positive it will all work out in the end. |
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By *ehallMan
over a year ago
dublin 24 |
Make it up to ur kids when you do get to see them but its downright badness on her behalf to have another guy sharing santa with ur kids Christmas morn I'd be absolutely fuming best of luck mate  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The other side of all this is an ex wife wanting the kids dad to spend time with them but he can't be arsed and would rather spend it with others peoples kids instead of his own! The only ones that get hurt in all of this are the kids and it's not fair
There are plenty of men AND women who need to take a long hard look at themselves and cop on before it's too late and the kids don't wanna know them anymore!
The kids will always figure out who's always been there for them and eventually reject the one that wasn't! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The other side of all this is an ex wife wanting the kids dad to spend time with them but he can't be arsed and would rather spend it with others peoples kids instead of his own! The only ones that get hurt in all of this are the kids and it's not fair
There are plenty of men AND women who need to take a long hard look at themselves and cop on before it's too late and the kids don't wanna know them anymore!
The kids will always figure out who's always been there for them and eventually reject the one that wasn't! "
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By *s ParisWoman
over a year ago
My Dungeon Room |
You need to get access sorted out through the court system that way you get to see your kids plus you have to take it in turns every year once thats in place to have the kids for Christmas so if you didn't see them this year get your access sorted properly and next year they will get to spend it with you just because a relationship ends never take it out on your kids both parents need equal rights with the kids not one sided and yes I speak from experience |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Split with my wife some time ago last Christmas I spent in the house to do santy for the kids this year cos she has a new man I'm not even let go up early in the morning to see the kids faces for santy after me buying all santy presents I'm not let see see them feel horrible "
Feel ya bud in sorta similar situation first xmas but I got to see them Christmas morning but I know come time i cant be there and it will feel horrible. Keep head up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Painful time for you OP
Set up an email account for kids , email the account share how you feel about them..keep emailing the account each time your denied access or days you just want to talk with them.
Then on their 18th birthday give them the email log in with the password. Let them read thru all the emails you sent
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"You need to get access sorted out through the court system that way you get to see your kids plus you have to take it in turns every year once thats in place to have the kids for Christmas so if you didn't see them this year get your access sorted properly and next year they will get to spend it with you just
because a relationship ends never take it out on your kids both parents need equal rights with the kids not one sided and yes I speak from experience "
Take it from me the courts can only do so much ... the kids are under the influence of the woman and mother in there lives ..
7 years down the line, my children now adults are startinv to making a effort to be in contact ... it will eat you up if you let it.. and any future partner cannot understand the pain it causes a man..
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