FabSwingers.com > Forums > Ireland > Bad Joke Thread III ©
Bad Joke Thread III ©
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I hear people complaining about Iceland selling Reindeer steak but no-one complains about Lidl donkey...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I went to that new fetish restaurant in Temple Bar last night.
I got toed in the hole... 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Devastated.
A very sad day today. After seven years of training in the medical fields and hard work, a very good friend of mine was fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his clients and can now no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and an absolutely brilliant mortician.
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"Devastated.
A very sad day today. After seven years of training in the medical fields and hard work, a very good friend of mine was fired after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his clients and can now no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and an absolutely brilliant mortician.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why did the fish cross the road?
Because my fucking streets flooded AGAIN |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What kind of dinosaur has the biggest vocabulary?
A Thesaurus! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Rudolph the well hung reindeer,
Had a great enormous cock,
All he could ever do with it,
was beat it off inside a sock,
All of the female reindeer,
Had pussies that were just too small,
Poor old well hung Rudolph,
Could not get any sex at all,
Then one horny Christmas eve,
Santa came to say,
"Rudolph with your cock so strong...
Fuck my arsehole all night long..!"
Then all the reindeer loved him,
A few of them were heard to say,
"Rudolph the well hung reindeer...
You're so lucky Santa's Gay" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How does Santa like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp & even...
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
What's white and blue, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you?
A fridge in a denim jacket!
Is this a competition for worst joke? |
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What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own. |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
"What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own."
What's the difference between a woman and a man?
A woman can make that joke on Fab with no repercussions . |
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"What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
What's the difference between a woman and a man?
A woman can make that joke on Fab with no repercussions ."
Settle |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
"What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
What's the difference between a woman and a man?
A woman can make that joke on Fab with no repercussions .
Settle "
I have two laughing faces after my comment, it was a lighthearted comment. No badness intended. Just a joke |
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"What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
What's the difference between a woman and a man?
A woman can make that joke on Fab with no repercussions .
Settle
I have two laughing faces after my comment, it was a lighthearted comment. No badness intended. Just a joke "
Aah my sarcasm is lost  |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
"What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
What's the difference between a woman and a man?
A woman can make that joke on Fab with no repercussions .
Settle
I have two laughing faces after my comment, it was a lighthearted comment. No badness intended. Just a joke
Aah my sarcasm is lost "
Sorry, my mistake. Probably should have detected it. Damn Heineken
Fresh start?? |
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"What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
What's the difference between a woman and a man?
A woman can make that joke on Fab with no repercussions .
Settle
I have two laughing faces after my comment, it was a lighthearted comment. No badness intended. Just a joke
Aah my sarcasm is lost
Sorry, my mistake. Probably should have detected it. Damn Heineken
Fresh start??"
Hmm. Very few get me in this country ... don't take it personally  |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
"What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
What's the difference between a woman and a man?
A woman can make that joke on Fab with no repercussions .
Settle
I have two laughing faces after my comment, it was a lighthearted comment. No badness intended. Just a joke
Aah my sarcasm is lost
Sorry, my mistake. Probably should have detected it. Damn Heineken
Fresh start??
Hmm. Very few get me in this country ... don't take it personally "
I get that sometimes too.
I genuinely didn't mean anything bad and still don't.
Now, this is supposed to be a joke thread so:
What do Liverpool fans do after Liverpool win the league?
Turn off their playstation 
I'm a liverpool fan by the way but it's funny nonetheless. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What's yellow & swings from cake to cake?
Tarzipan...
Nice cake Mother. |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
Why does Snoop dogg carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle. |
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You know how tennis players get tennis elbow as part of their injuries. What do Gynecologist's get?
A. Tunnel vision |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1. They're very efficient & not very funny.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whats a ghost favourite food?
Spookghetti....
OK will pull another cracker and post more classics soon |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My boyfriend told me to choose between him & my career as a reporter.
Well I've got news for him... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For sale .. Vacuum cleaner as just gathering dust |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tried to catch some fog the other day.
I mist. |
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How do u cook sausages in the jungle
Under a gorilla
Sorry |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut but if a man does it....
He's gay, definitely gay.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut but if a man does it....
He's gay, definitely gay.
"
I told you I was just experimenting |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Woman: Do you love me?
Man: Of course darling.
Woman: Would you die for me?
Man: No, mine is an undying love... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just a thought...
If your birthday is in September, I guess your parents also saw their New Year in with a bang. 
Happy New Year! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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George Micheal died from choking after opening his selection box...
He was careless with his wispa
Too early? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why should you never by Ukranian Y-fronts?
Because Chernobyl fallout... |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
A man goes to the zoo. The only animal in the zoo was a dog.
It was a shih tzu. |
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Called into the local blacksmiths today asked him had he ever shooed a horse before. He said no but he did tell a donkey to fuck off once |
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I had a couple of good jokes about hoovers but I was told they suck |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a couple of good jokes about hoovers but I was told they suck "
Actually they were so bad they blew |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Two elephants fall off a cliff. Boom Boom.
My last girlfriend was a material girl. Glass eye, rubber lips,wooden leg....
I ate lots and lots of string yesterday I shit you knots |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A girl asked me yesterday if I legs or breasts. I said " if I'm honest, I prefer a nice shaven pussy", apparently I'm not allowed back in KFC! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 10/01/17 10:04:45] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whats the difference between oral and anal sex?
Oral makes your day, anal makes your hole weak  |
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By *P_80Man
over a year ago
Waterford |
Two lads on a boat getting attacked by a shark.
1st lad: Will he eat me whole?
2nd lad: No he'll spit that bit out. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mr69: Candy says she's had enough of my Star Wars obsession & wants to leave me...
Divorce is strong in this one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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[Removed by poster at 10/01/17 14:33:03] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife said she was going to leave me because of my unhealthy obsession with the 60's band The Monkeys. I thought she was joking...... and then I saw her face! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's the only kind of Bee that produces milk........?
A BOO-BEE !!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you from Dublin 6w?
Cuz i can see myself Terenure clothes off |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What does a house wear?
A dress. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you have three dyslexic's in a room does that make a riot? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why can't dinosaurs touch their toes?
Because they're all dead |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What's long & thin, covered in skin, red in parts & goes in tarts?
Rhubarb of course. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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How do you find Will Smith in a snow covered landscape?
Look for the fresh prints...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I went to the doctors with hearing problems.
He said "Can u describe the symptoms?"
I said "Homers a fat bloke and Marge has blue hair" |
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I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment.
It was a whisk I was willing to take.
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By *etergemmaCouple
over a year ago
South Dublin Area |
"What's the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
What's the difference between a woman and a man?
A woman can make that joke on Fab with no repercussions ."
.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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You should have seen the teens face when he opened his present & saw a pile of corrugated cardboard....well he did ask for an ex-box! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What did the Pirate say on his 80th birthday?
Aye Matey... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A friend asked me "what's the best way to sneak food into the pictures?"
"I have a few Twix up my sleeve" I said... |
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By *ka ..Agent k ..Man
over a year ago
Meath, Louth border of Airgialla & Naughty, |
..while on my travels tru Leitrim the other eve i saw a blonde rowing in a boat out in the middle of a field and another blonde comes along and yells out to her Hey your reason why us blondes get bad names if i could swim i would swim out there and kick your ass |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mr69, 14/2/17: Candy rang & said "3 girls in my office just received flowers, they're absolutely gorgeous"
I said "Thats probably why they received flowers"...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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a Celtic Soccer player has had to pay out £250000 in compensation to an Elvis Impersenator who was involved in an unsavoury incident at Night Club last year....
the Man on receiving the judgement said
" thank you very much "
Elvis has left the building |
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How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Told my mate i was having problems in the bedroom so being a doctor he prescribed me a few viagra
I thought "How the fuck is this gonna help me assemble my new wardrobe?" |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who can play the piano?
A) Clever Dick. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
What do you call a dinasour with one eye?
A) a doyouthinkhesawus.
Thank you, I'm here all week. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
Encore, ok.
A man walks into the doctors naked and wrapped only in cling film from head to toe.
The doctor says on seeing him "I can clearly see your nuts."
Boom boom. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
Last one, I'm due on stage....
I always wanted to be a doctor when I grew up but I just didn't have the patients ( patience- get it!)
Stage door left.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr69, 14/2/17: Candy rang & said "3 girls in my office just received flowers, they're absolutely gorgeous"
I said "Thats probably why they received flowers"...
"
Mr.69 you need a good spanking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How many condoms can you get from a tyre ??
365 in a Goodyear!!! |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
Is it me or have anyone else noticed that exit signs are on their way out! |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
[Removed by poster at 17/02/17 22:37:04] |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
What do you call a Deer with one eye?
A) no idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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One day I'll pretend to be gay. I'll make lots of female friends, gain their trust. Become their confidant, and when they least expect it...BAAM!!!
I'll fuck their boyfriends. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
What do you call a Deer with one eye and no legs?
A) still no idea!!!
Hahaha, laughing at my own now. Taxi. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
What do you call a man in a pile of leaves?
A) Russell
That taxi here yet |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
A) cliff.
What has a man gotta do to get a taxi around here? |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
Right last one I am due back at the asylum.
What do you call a man with a spade on his head?
A) Doug |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
Ok seeing as you asked and I know you are curious......
What do you call a man without a spade on his head then?
A) Douglass
Taxis here who wants a lift. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
Asked to be dropped off at the corner as I felt the crowd needed more! Ahe
A man walks into the Doctors and says Doctor, Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together man says the Doctor
Ta ding.
Taxi. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
A man walks into the Doctors and says Doctor, Doctor people keep ignoring me.
Doctor- next |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mr69, 14/2/17: Candy rang & said "3 girls in my office just received flowers, they're absolutely gorgeous"
I said "Thats probably why they received flowers"...
Mr.69 you need a good spanking "
Mr69: Ooh! I prefer a grope! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Teacher: class, what's your favourite letter?
Student: G.
Teacher: Why is it your favourite Angus? |
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chicken and a cow walk in to a bar
barman says i dont want to hear any cock and bull stories |
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bono and the edge walk in to a bar
barman say not u2 again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mr69, 14/2/17: Candy rang & said "3 girls in my office just received flowers, they're absolutely gorgeous"
I said "Thats probably why they received flowers"...
Mr.69 you need a good spanking
Mr69: Ooh! I prefer a grope! "
Work away Mr. |
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What do u call an italian with a rubber toe?
ROBERTO! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do u call a woman with one leg?
Eileen
Woman with no legs?
Noleen
Japanese woman with one leg?
Irene |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Called into the local blacksmiths today asked him had he ever shooed a horse before. He said no but he did tell a donkey to fuck off once "
Brilliant |
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I found a hole in my trainer the other day, big enough to get my finger in..
She's made an official complaint and my gym membership has now been suspended. |
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Teacher: why weren't you at school yesterday Jonny?
Jonny: my grandpa got burnt Miss
Teacher: it must have been serious
Jonny: they don't fuck about at the crematorium miss. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
What do call a man with 10 rabbits up his bum hole?
Warren |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
[Removed by poster at 19/02/17 13:04:36] |
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What do you call a guy standing under a bridge............Arch
What do you call a guy standing under a bridge without any hair........Archibald..
My all time favorite .
What do you call Postman Pat when he's made redundant.............Pat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What have brussels sprouts and pubic hair got in common?
U just brush them aside and carry on eating |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mate David lost his id.... now he's just Dav. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What's the difference between a Kangaroo and a kangaroot?...
One's a Marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Medical fact of the day: If a woman drinks two glasses of wine per day it increases the chances of a stroke by 50%.
If you let her finish the bottle she'll probably suck it as well. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What have the Shift key and a stint in prison got in common?
They both make your 'o' an 'O'... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Here ya go Letme, hope you're feeling better soon.
What’s the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment, and the other requires oinkment...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Found a strip of Viagra in a drawer yesterday so I slipped Mr one in a drink.
No good though, it didn't work.  turns out they were past their swell by date... |
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By *ir1967Man
over a year ago
in da sticks, london, amsterdam, madrid |
"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1. They're very efficient & not very funny. "
Well since that light bulb exercise takes in some countries 10+1 , Germany recently introduced the single handed light bulb replacement technology , for efficiency sake indeed and it prove to work well
Other countries still apply 10 + 1 solution with devastating economic effect |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bob has no arms..
Knock, knock
Whos there. Its not Bob.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I got a rescue dog but he only responds when I talk to him in Spanish...
I think he's Espanyol... |
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Guy boasting about fucking twins,how can you tell them apart asks his friend, no problem was his reply, Jane has black hair and Derek has a moustache |
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By *eauhoMan
over a year ago
City Centre |
Did you hear about the man who mistook viagra for laxatives?
He didn't know whether he was coming or going... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How do you get 4 elephants into a mini?
2 in the front and 2 in the back!
How do you know if there's an elephant in your fridge?
There's footprints in the butter!
How do you know if there's 4 elephants in your fridge?
The mini is parked outside!
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wet to the doctor the other day for a check up , he told me ive to stop masterbating . i was y doc, he said cox im trying to examin u
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mr69:I went to bed with a blind girl last night!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever laid her hands on!
I said "You're pulling my leg". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why did the German chicken cross the road? To show that not all chicken crossing the road jokes are humorous and also because it was efficient to do so! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My wife tried to humiliate me by telling all her friends I was terrible in bed. Imagine her surprise when they all disagreed! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why did the Esk...Inuit climb through his Igloo window?
Because he had lost his Huskys... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They say an Englishman laughs three times at the same joke. The first time when everybody gets it, the second a week later when he thinks he gets it,the third time a month later when somebody explains it to him. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives me some hope. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see his flat mate. |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
When I was younger I told my parents and family I wanted to be a comedian when I grew up and they all started laughing at me.
Guess what, there not laughing now! |
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By *usyatminMan
over a year ago
Wicklow, Wexford, Dublin and Carlow |
Anyone else noticed that exit signs are on the way out? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What do you call 2 guys sitting above a window?
Kurt and Rod... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives me some hope."
That reminds me of a good joke. First Englishman what was the final score in the match this afternoon? Second Englishman: nill-nil"First Englishman : what was
the score at half time? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Remember to use condoms!
Because if she'd sleep with you, she'd sleep with anyone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do you call an Englishman with an IQ of 50 ? Colonel sir!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, "Five beers please" |
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What do you call a bag of fannys??
Clitorus all sorts ! |
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Two women are chatting in an office.
Woman 1: "I had sex last night, did you?"
Woman 2: "Yes."
Woman 1: "Was it good?"
Woman 2: "No, it was a disaster... my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours?"
Woman 1: "Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairy tale!"
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work.
Husband 1: "You wanted sex last night, how was it?"
Husband 2: "Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, had sex with my wife and fell asleep. It was great! What about you?"
Husband 1: "It was horrible. I came home, there's no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn't paid the bill; so I had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn't have money left for a cab. We had to walk home which took an hour - and when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn't get it up for an hour and then I couldn't climax for another hour. After I finally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn't fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour!" |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why does Piglet smell so bad?
Because he plays with Pooh... |
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Why did the baker have brown hands?
Because he kneaded a poo |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just met a woman with 12 nipples. Sounds Fun dozen tit ? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My mother in law is a very generous lady...she gave me and half the town an STD on more than one occasion!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why were The Middle Ages also called The Dark Ages?
Because there were a lot of Knights... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Girlfriend asked me to throw out all my meatloaf cds and tapes ,
I would do anything for love but I won't do that , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was shopping in tesco with herself yesterday when she turned around and called me a lazy cunt !!!
I was so shocked i nearly fell out of the trolley !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
One is big and heavy, the other is a little lighter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, "Five beers please""
Lol  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why did the pervert cross the road...... cos the chicken was still stuck on his cock.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How does Santa like his pizza?
Deep pan, crisp & even...
"
Hear about the circumcionist that lost his job? He got the sac |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What's the nicest guy in a hospital?
The Ultra Sound Guy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do you call a guy in a swimming pool with no arms and legs?
Bob
Difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day,anal sex makes your whole week |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I removed all the German numbers from my phone
Now it's Hans free |
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By *ilf46Man
over a year ago
South East Area , Leinster |
Hear about the magic tractor !!
It went down the lane and turned into a field !!!!@@@?? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I asked my Welsh friend how many sexual partners he'd had...
He started counting but fell asleep... |
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Welsh man's favorite love making position.....
on the edge of the cliff so the sheep push back harder. |
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
[Removed by poster at 02/04/17 13:55:18] |
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
What's big and red and throbs between your legs...
A Ducati |
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
"Welsh man's favorite love making position.....
on the edge of the cliff so the sheep push back harder."
Welshman national dress...
Green wellies? |
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think you're laughing on your own to that one.......
We must be only nation that openly advertise brothels on our roads.
Normally seen when going over cattle grids you have sheep in triangular signs....
One of our favorite songs is Baa Baa Baa barbara Anne |
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By *aid backMan
over a year ago
by a lake with my rod out |
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
Both can smell it but can't taste it! |
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There was a tragic incident in the Nestlé factory this morning when a pile of products fell on a staff member.
To make matters worse, every time he screamed "the milky bars are on me" his co workers just cheered! |
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What do you call a lesbian with long fingernails???
Single !?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamt I was skiing!"  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mourinho has promised Manchester's second team supporters that they will be in a major European competition next year.
Even if he has to write the song himself... |
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By *ineMan
over a year ago
In cave behind a waterfall on a hill |
When aged 69 Ludwig van Beethoven was asked...
Why did you join fab...
He replied...
Pardon.... |
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Whats the first thing that comes out of a Mans penis when he gets an erection? The wrinkles!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Dad, how comes my sister is called Teresa?"
"Because your mum loves Easter and it's an anagram of Easter"
"Thanks dad"
"No problem Alan"... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why did Bono fall off the cliff?
He was standing too close to the Edge |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The kids asked me what my plans were for the weekend.
The same as jesus' I said.
Disappear on Friday and reappear on Sunday... |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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2 cows in a field in Scotland...
How do you know which one is on holiday?
The one with the wee calf. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What did the horse say to the one legged man.
How ya getting on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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How do you cook a monkey....????????
Gor....illa!!!?????? |
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[Removed by poster at 11/05/17 02:20:53] |
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What did the blind man say when he passed the fish shop?
HELLO LADIES. |
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Did you hear about the cabbage that died there was a big turnup at the funeral |
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"Did you hear about the cabbage that died there was a big turnup at the funeral "
The priest started the ceremony with "lettuce pray". |
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"Did you hear about the cabbage that died there was a big turnup at the funeral
The priest started the ceremony with "lettuce pray". "
There wasn't mushroom in the chapel. |
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"Did you hear about the cabbage that died there was a big turnup at the funeral
The priest started the ceremony with "lettuce pray".
There wasn't mushroom in the chapel. "
Missus cabbage said she'd always beetroot to him.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A man tells his doctor he keeps thinking he's a dog. When the doctor tells him to get up on the couch and he will examine him, the man replies "I'm not allowed on the couch". |
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"A man tells his doctor he keeps thinking he's a dog. When the doctor tells him to get up on the couch and he will examine him, the man replies "I'm not allowed on the couch"."
Ah that's ruff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Why did the sperm cross the road?
Cuz I put in the wrong socks this morning  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In honour of Gary's dental quip...
I put my phone under my pillow when I went to sleep last night, I woke up & it's gone but there's a €2 coin instead!
Damn Bluetooth fairy...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Status Quo are in the studio waiting for Francis Rossi to show up when the door flies open with an excited Rossi shouting "lads, stop everything, I have a brand new song!
Rick Parfitt replies "what`s wrong with the old song?" |
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A man walked up to a bar with a lump of tar under his arm. Says he... "I'll have a pint please, and one for the road" |
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A man stole a calendar... He got 12 months. |
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Which reminds me... A man who used to work at a calendar printer's for fired for taking a day off |
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"A man stole a calendar... He got 12 months. "
what do calenders eat ?
Dates. |
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